Advice on Hospitalisationing, for my Xyrophobia suffering, over amour propred Brother-in-law Pete. Hehehe!

Pondering over the experiences of my Hospitalisations

With the hopes of giving my Bother-in-law Pete, a lift and laugh, while he’s in the Cty Nottingham Hospital, being spoilt by the specialists and pretty nurses!

My Medical Memories recalled and relived:

At the age of five, I got my thumb end chopped off and was taken by ambulance to the Nottingham Children’s Hospital. Put on a trolley, and got told-off for falling off of it! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

When I got shot (Working in Security in those days), they left me on a trolley in a passage and forgot about me for four-hours! General Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

When I had my ulcer done, they forgot to give me the chrystals, and I spent six hours on the Throne when I got home, in agony! City Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

When I got the hernia and was rushed into the QMC, Jane helped out my bringing things for me. Then, while repairing the hernia (Genuine bit of good luck here!), they found cancer in the bladder! Fortunately, they already had the laser and camera down my penis to deal with the rupture, so they set to and lasered the prostate cancer, at the same time! Serendipitous indeed! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

On a new-years Eve, I collapsed with high or low BP, can’t remember which now. Paramedics took me in, I fell off of the gurney going in, and lay there on the concrete floor for several minutes. QMC Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

I was told I could not be sent home with my BP so high or low, and the Warfarin level so low. I was placed in a corridor, with many other patients on trolleys, to await a bed coming free! QMC Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Where, three hours later, I was told there is no chance of a bed, and I will have to go home! This being 00:30hrs on New Year’s day, so no buses! QMC Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

I had to walk, well hobble, all the way home in the early hours of the morning. No money for a bus or taxi, not that it mattered, I saw neither on my marathon walk back to the flats. QMC Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

When I was having the angiogram, before the heart operation, they said it would be a three-day job. Then, a day later in the morning at about 04:00hrs, they woke me to tell me the bed was needed urgently, and I will have to go home! City Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Mind you; it was Pete who saved the day, at this ungodly hour, they rang Pete, who had to come and collect me! City Hospital. As we were leaving, they handed Pete a leaflet on what happens during an angiogram, which I’d had days ago? Has this ever happen to Pete? No! 

In the Morris Ward for the aorta valve replacement. A seven-day job with recovery they said (Huh!) By the fourth day, they were calling Brother-in-Law Pete to collect me again! City Hospital. Saved the day again!

Peripheral Neuropathy diagnosed. I was summoned to the hospital. A struggle in getting there, but I made it in time. I waited for three hours after the appointment time, then got in to see the Specialist. Who said, “There is nothing we can do, your neurotransmitters are dying on your right side. We cannot repair nerve ends.” Then gave me four-A4 sheets that listed the problems I could expect. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Then the most embarrassing event of my life, the Stroke. Everything in the body and I do mean everything that could leak, leaked, and I crumpled to the floor, puzzled, confused, and expecting the end had come. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Pressed the Alert Alarm, no idea what the lady said at the Nottingham City Control Room, or what I said to her. Or if I was speaking or thinking? While waiting for help, she rang back, insisting I unlock the front door to allow the Paramedics to gain entry. I had to crawl on all fours, no chance of me standing up, even while crawling, I kept falling over to my right side. There I was, in a right smelly mess, covered in front and rear releases, tears flowing, the nose running, the right ear bleeding and blood pouring from the fungal lesion, the Paramedics were shouting something through the door, and eventually I got to open the door, then collapsed again! These details were told me later. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

To the QMC Hospital, parked on the trolley in a dark room for hours. (Or so it seemed to me anyway). Up to a treatment room. I lay on the trolley in a bay for hours and started to come round a bit. A chap came to me later, told me I’d had a stroke, and said they would be transferring me to the Stroke Ward at the City Hospital. QMC Hospital. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

An hour or so later, I was collected and taken to the City Hospital. The journey was exciting, as I learned a lot about the two ambulance women who were taking me and other patients crammed in the ambulance. Their eating habits, one preferred Morrison’s the other Tesco. About their child birthing experiences. Coronation Street, and Neighbours were spoken of, and one of them was having Chilli-con-carne for dinner. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Got into the Newall Stroke Ward. Jane and Pete visited a few days later. I got a window bed, but no camera to use. So Pete took this photo on his visit a few days later. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

I was in for fourteen days, started the therapy three times a day. Then it happened again! I was told they needed the bed for an urgent admission, and I would be moved to a Residential Home (The Acorn)! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

The ambulance ladies who collected me left much of my possessions behind and took some that belonged to the patient in the next bed! I learned on the journey, gruesome details of one of the ambulance lady’s Cesarian operation, and that the other was going in for a breast reduction that months end! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

During my weeks there, I had my eyes opened. I had to make a police witness report and went for two days without being given an evening meal. But I loved it there. Has this ever happen to Pete? No! But he did take this photo when he visited me to check on my finances.

The photo shows a bottle of pop and a book that had yet to be returned to the rightful owner, taken there by the ambulance drivers in their rush to get me out of the hospital. They also failed to take my underwear, socks and Crossword books! Has this ever happen to Pete? No! 

Then, the room was needed urgently, so for the third time, I was moved. Again they called on Jane & Pete to lift me home. Has this ever happen to Pete? No! Hehehe! I’d have been lost without him and Jane, though! They listed and took all of my valuables while I was away for safe-keeping, Bless him. I’ll get them back one day!

Sister Jane came to sort out my medications that were in a right state after months away. A good job too! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

I was given a carer to help me dress and put on the ankle strap, which was greatly appreciated I can tell yers!

But they were cancelled as the head-honcho woman, decided I could do it myself. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

The After-Stroke nurses came regularly, and again were very much a boon to me! They stopped coming when they arranged months of one a week two-hour physio training for me. It nearly crippled me! Haha!

Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

The now dreaded Sock-Gide was delivered, and the blood-blisters and bruised flourished. Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Now, I cannot put any bamboo or other type of socks on at all, because of the uncut toenails and failure to bleed the ankle ulcer. It’s too painful to use the deadly vicious Sock-Glide at all! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

I’m waiting for the medical departments etc. to reopen again after the appalling Coronavirus interlude. I will need, the Dentist (badly), the podiatrist (Desperately), The audio clinic for hearing aid batteries, and Opticians to get some glasses I can see through! Also, the delayed appointment with the cardiac team, to have a check on the metal ticker! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Now I’ve been diagnosed as diabetic! Has this ever happen to Pete? No!

Pete knows the reason for this post.

To keep his spirits up with a laugh!

All the best, mate! 

I hope Jane’s coping too!

Cheers!

Inchcockski – Thursday 2nd June 2020: I avoided another psychasthenia. Phew!

The TFZer Keep Fit Gals!

Thursday 2nd June 2020

German: Donnerstag, 2. Juni 2020

02:35hrs: Although the night had been entirely free of any wee-weeing, it started the moment I stirred into mock-life! I painfully fumbled my extraordinarily exorbitantly, excessive-sized wobbly body and dangly thin limbs from the £300, second-hand, c1968, broken by my brother-in-law Pete, recliner. My Xyrophobia suffering, over amour-propred Brother-in-law Pete, when he was searching the flat while I was in the hospital with the Stroke, and taking my valuables, and took a rest. Fatal! He could not resist the electrics and got out his screwdriver and toyed with them. Now, the recliner no longer works!

I caught my balance, got the walking stick, and made my way to the unused overnight, GPEB (Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket), for what turned out to be a WOPT (Weak-Orange-Painful-Trickling) mode wee-wee. It took a while to get started, during which it dawned on me, what a great sleep I’d had! I reckon five-hours worth. Smug-Mode-Assumed! I left the GPEB where it was, cause I had a feeling that it might be needed again, now that the flowing has started and I’d Christened it.

Off to the kitchen, I limped. The volume of the ‘Hum’ was excessive this morning. Yet, when I opened the unliked, unloved, hard to clean, thick-framed, rain emitting, danger-to-old-folks who cannot see out and below cause of the ridiculously wide ledge, photographer-hating designed window to take these shots, it got even louder!

I got the kettle on then, but I had to nip back to the bucket. A total change this time. The bladder had complete absolute, omnipotent control over the power and flow. And boy, did it burst forth! An LHLB (Long-Hosepipe-like-Blasting) style. Surprisingly, with no pain at all? The colour had even changed back to the cloudy grey? I got the hands washed and back to the kitchen.

The readings on the hemadynamometer were looking fine today. The body temperature was showing up as 74°c.

Unbelievably, I then had to go back for another wee-wee! It was of the same model. I noticed later when I went in the Diary photo album, that the results compared to last Thursday, were very similar.

Washed and wiped again, and back to the kitchenette. Made the mug of Extra-Strong Assam tea, and took the medications.

I concentrated hard, as assiduously as was possible on getting the updating of the Wednesday blog done. This is because, as I settled to start working, Saccades-Sandra and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitter’s were behaving themselves.

I shall not keep mentioning them, but persistent and variable types (from the WOPT (Weak-Orange-Painful-Trickling) to some BOASSA (Blasting Out-and-Suddenly-Stopping-Abruptly) modes of wee-wees pestered me for hours! Too frequent to mention them all here!

I achieved my goal, and with the ailments still being kind, I made up the template for this post.

I decided to get the thin quilt in soak, ready for cleaning later on. I’ve no idea what’s going on or what I’m supposedly doing at the moment! I keep changing between tasks and forgetting what I was doing! I got the quilt washed, and left it on some fabric freshener in the sink.

I sent Jane and Pete an email, asking how Pete was going, as I hadn’t heard from him for a bit now.

Then, made a start on this diary. But, Saccades, Dizzy Dennis and Nicodemus all came to life at the same time, and progress was stunted. Saccades-Sandra eased off first. Bless her!

I went to make another brew, and have a wee-wee. The day was dawning now. And I managed to take a decent shot of the skies, that I thought looked so beautiful. But a haze soon appeared afterwards, obnubilating my nephelococcygia fun. Tsk!

The landline chirped and flashed. It was Brother-inLaw Pete ringing in response to my email. He sounded in reasonable spirits considering. He is to go into the City Hospital today. For further tests and permissioning for his trial tests on a new treatment for his melanoma. I was glad to hear this, especially that he is to go in today, at 10:30hrs! He’s part of a chosen few patients for the trialling of the treatment. We chatted for a good while, and my EQ picked up on his determination, and good spirits, that hid a fear. Naturally! 

I intend to take a picture of the City Hospital from the window at 10:30hrs. Even though the mist is now falling. With the lad being a bricklayer, and having lived and worked in Australia for some years, his stripping off to show the girls his muscular body so often, might have encouraged the poor devil’s cancer. Fingers crossed, and I think he’s doing the right thing in going for experimental trials, good for him!

I’ve placed all of the photographs taken of the City Hospital this morning. 

The final one went with a Good Luck Message sent through the ether for Pete. I bet Jane’s at home worrying, I’ll call her later on, try to perk her up a tad.

It’s a good sign that the mist cleared just in time for me to get a decent shot or two in.

I’ll email one to Pete when he’s out and back home, as a reminder, of good news I hope.

The ablutions are now overdue. I got the things needed and others ready to use, and hobbled without too much bother, to the wetroom.

As I got the towel off of the airer to take in, I managed to clout the back of my right hand on the heater, snap the alarm wristlet band, and knocked the heater over, catching my toes against it as it fell. Then to add insult to injury, I hit my head against the frame of the door, bending down to retrieve the towel! Grobbleknangles!

Today’s ablutions went aleatorily well! A few dropsies, there will always be them. Toothache Thomas was not happy. However; no shaving cuts, no walking into or knocking anything over. As for the showering, ready for this… only two dropsies! Fair enough, the medicating part could have gone better, yet still only two accifauxpas! I was well pleased with how it went!

I got the light-quilt out of the bowl and got it on the flat airer to help it dry off. By Jiminee I was going well! Took the evening medications early!

Then I decided on the meal for today. Red potato battered fritters, Surami sticks, tomatoes, the last sourdough muffin, buttered of course.

Then I set about sorting the last bag of so-called fresh peas podded, and in the saucepan ready. I found a lot more useable peas than in yesterdays bag. However, Dang, dang, dang… Dang! Morrison had given me some extra meat with them. It’s in the second photo, but I doubt you will be able to spot it. A maggot floated to the surface of the sweetened water in the pan! Humph!

The bottom picture shows the pea pods I had to reject unopened and throw in the waste bin! Good old Morrison’s! They short deliver me the baking trays, then give me a bonus with their rotting garden peas. I could spit! I got the maggot out, and checked all the others for interlopers, rewashed them, and returned them to the saucepan. Isn’t life a sod at times! I might grill it later. Har-har!

I sorted the waste bags out, filled the three-wheeler with them, and took them to the waste chute. I noticed the Anticoagulation and Deep Vein Thrombosis clinic test results, INR, had arrived. 

When I got back, I checked them. The lady from the Doctor’s reception last night with the new doses didn’t tell me the INR level was down to 1.7! Blimus and Bejeezers, I might be back on the Enoxaparin injections soon! Still, I’ve got plenty in stoke, or even stock, now.

I went on Facebooking, WordPress Reader. Link sent off. WordPress Reader.

Started the Fodder preparations. During which I found this pill had dropped on the floor! Whether it was a Furesomide, Beta-blocker or a Codeine, there was no way of telling. All three of them look so similar to each other. I cleaned it and took it. Huh!

Got the nosh on the plate, and into the recliner to nosh while watching some Law & Order episodes. The battered red potato fritters, the fresh garden peas (and perhaps the odd unnoticed maggot), the mature, stinky, tasty Stilton and Marmite cheese, piccolo tomatoes, gherkins, surimi sticks, apple, lemon mousse, and some seedless grapes made up the plate. Taste Rating: 8.5/10. Dived into it, leaving nothing on the plate! 

I went to get the pots washed. Returned to the rickety, c1968 recliner, to watch some more TV with the feet up on the swivel chair.

The mangled ugly imitation Howard Hughes uncut toenails getting worse and more painful every day!

Spared a thought about Brother-in-Law Pete. The new chemotherapy preparations will have started by now. I expect him to have nurses fussing over him, and the usual for him, Private meals, a TV supplied, headphones, Sky channels etc. and so on. Makes yer sick! But I’m not jealous! Hehe!

TTFNski!