Inchcock, Nottingham’s lost-logicality lothario – Friday 11th December 2020

TFZers – But what are they up to?

03:00hrs: Friday 11th December 2020

Turkish: 11 Aralık 2020 Cuma

00:30hrs: I woke with a start again, and lay trying not to hear the ‘Hum’ outside, or to the new droning sound inside, we think is coming from the machinery on the rooftop in the plant-room. (That’s because it keeps stopping for five minutes or so, then kicks back in) A most annoying noise to wake up to today, two flaming humming-like susurrations, outside and inside at the same time! Globbleaurgh!

I bounded out of the luxury Snuggle-Up, £950, brand new, recliner, and nipped smartly to the £95 overnight-elderly-persons Marks & Spencer’s Chamber Pot, for a wee-wee…

Oh, alright, then… I struggled out of the grotty, £300, second-hand, c1968, unsteady, not-working, sickenly beige-coloured, haemorrhoid-testing recliner, cracked my right knee on the ottoman, felt back down in the chair and Harold’s Haemorrhoids – swore silently, gritted my teeth and got back up again. Hobbled to the OEGPB (Overnight, emergency, grey, plastic, bucket), and had a wee-wee of the PSST (Persistent, Stinging, Sharp) mode.

Seeing the medications that arrived last night, I had a nosey at them.

Being in a more stable frame of mind and more awake than when they were delivered, I think what the young lady who delivered them said, she needed to collect the medications sent earlier without any seals on them. I will ring Obergruppenfurheress and catwalk model, Warden Deana later, to ask her to ring the chemist for me, so I know what to do. I can’t believe that they want the tablets that shot out all over two room back? Then again, Matron did tell me to return them to the pharmacist? I think!

Then I realised that instead of the Dioctyl® poo-softener capsules I’d asked for, they had delivered Docusate Sodium, in a medicine form. Excellent thinking that was from Carrington Pharmacy, 343-345 Mansfield Rd, Carrington, Nottingham NG5 2DA, next to the pub, near the Lidl store, and my Doctor for prescribing medicine. That needs me, to pour out into short plastic three 5ml spoons of the medicine, three times a day! A shame they both forgot about my, Nicolas’s neurotransmitters dying, the Peripheral Neuropathy, and Peripheral Pete’s right leg dances! This is not going to work, I’ll have more medicine on the floor, my clothes, and if the involuntary Schuplatter dancing starts while I’m trying to take the medication (six times a day) the bottle is going to get dropped and smashed for sure! I can avoid any problems for a while, cause I still have some of the capsules in the pot to use for a couple or three days – then things should get interesting? Dangerous, mind! 

But credit where it is due. The Carrington Pharmacy, 343-345 Mansfield Rd, Carrington, Nottingham NG5 2DA. Tel: 0115 9605453, are nothing if not consistent in their desire to kill me off, one way or another. At least their man who dispenses the prescriptions is. They delivered the things for me, so they aren’t all bad, bless em!

Fair enough, they didn’t put the seals on of the two trays… nobodies perfect. Nemo Mortaluim Omnibus Horis Sapit!

I took the medications, then got the Health checks done. I started with the blood pressure, the SYS had was not too bad a result.

The temperature was spot on!

I must remember to ring Deana and ask for assistance with the phoning, maybe after I get the ablutions all done.

The rain began to come down as the mist slowly cleared away.

As I got on the computer, the summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived, so off to the wet-room, I trudged. The ailments were being kind with me up to now.

I thought I might have grown hair again on my head, it took so long to get any moment started! The crossword book was utilised. I even considered giving up and trying again later… Ah, painful, very painful, but the evacuation started… It took a few minutes of effort and a few. Oooh, argh’s, but at last, things picked up the pace! Well, it looks like an easy victory in the DESB (Daily-Evacuation-Stakes-Battle) for Constipation Konrad today, over Trotsky Terence. I made sure afterwards, that the Dyoctyl® poo-softener was in the afternoon tablet box ready, in fact, the session was so bad, I put two in there.

Cleaned up, and back to the computer, to make a graphic for later use, but I got diverted (I do that a lot yer knows) when I saw the email news come in, and I had a decker at it. I copied this graph of the Nottingham areas affected.

Then it was time for the Ablutioning Session to be done.

I rang Deana; first, she said she’ll be coming to see me later on, after 11:00hrs. She had a meeting to go to first. I thanked her and made a bee-line for the wet-room/

Getting ready to do the teggies, and I noticed that the growths, blotches and even the papules that were on the left arm yesterday, had all but gone now! Amazing!

The teeth cleaning had few electric-like stabs of pain, as I caught the cracked tooth that the dentist told me were nothing to worry, as she rushed me out of her surgery a couple of weeks ago. They hated me (My high EQ could tell), cause I couldn’t get up the two flights of stairs to my regular dentist to be treated, mind you, he ain’t all that keen on me, either. Tsk!) I digress again, sorry!

The shaving, especially considering that I hadn’t shaved yesterday, went blooming great. Only one little nick and three-dropsies! Smug-Mode-Engaged! 

The showering had a couple of dodgy moments, but I’ve far worse, no I’m not complaining. They were, decent clout against the grab rail, and I hit the ankle ulcer area on the shower-chair leg.

The drying was had no, I say, No, knock-overs! (A smile developing!) As for the medicationalisationing, only poor Harolds Haemorrhoids ointmentating actually hurt. Although the ankle looked a bit battered? But I had given it a good knock when showering, so, fair do’s. It seemed to have changed colour, and the scratch marks too? No pain or soreness, mind you? All so confusing!

It worries me when things go well, it’s unnatural!

Back to the updating of this blog.

And both door chimes rang out. Oberstgruppenfuhreress and desk-top dancer, highly desirable Warden & ILC Deana appeared in the room.

She soon sorted things out for me. The Chemist said to hand the two trays back undamaged packs back to him on the next delivery. But of course, I’d started one, so only that can one can be returned. He’s not replied to my email anyway.

She patched up the fallen curtains for me in the main room and recommended the Apollo shop in Sherwood to get my curtains from. I need some for the kitchen and front room. I’ll give them a go.

Made my mind up, bacon and beans for my nosh. The milk roll bread with it methinks, but first, I must make up a template for tomorrow. Here I go… Hehehe!

Got the meal cooking things ready to start, and checked the leaflet from Nottingham City Homes. A little confusing.

I’ve got to phone them to book an upgrade in the kitchen and bathroom? I think.

The landline flashed, it was Hristina, the lovely vampire nurse, to tell me she will be calling on Monday twixt 8>10:00hrs, bless her cotton socks. I think they’ve made it earlier this week, with the INR level being so low?

Being so tired, I couldn’t appreciate the meal as I might have, but I still gave it a 7/10 for flavour and taste. The bacon was the Iceland brand ‘Seasonally Seasoned’ streaky bacon. It was almost paper-thin but tasty enough for once. The beans and vegetarian sausages were not bad. The Sainsburys pork & pickle pies were fine, not as tasty as the Iceland ones. The milk roll loaf bread and the lemon yoghourt were gorgeous! I dropped the things in the bowel to soak, had a weak wee-wee.

I was in the arms of sweet Morpheous within minutes of getting down in the recliner. The dreams began, I woke with a start, and well miffed, at not remembering much about the dreams, just a feeling that they were good? Clobblechops! I drifted back into the land of nod, determined to get back to whatever it was I was nocturnally enjoying previously – of course, I couldn’t and failed. I’m pretty good at failing, as well!