Ecdemomania Inchcock – Wednesday 16th December 2020

Yee-Haa!

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Wednesday 16th December 2020

Croatian: Srijeda, 16 Prosinca 2020

00:15hrs: After a good solid 4 hours of heavenly bliss in the arms of Sweet Morpheus, I stirred with the need of a wee-wee, followed seconds later with an urge to utilise the Porcelain Throne.

Thus, the diurnal struggle began, to free my mastodonic, oversized, bouncing flabby-stomached torso from the £300, second-hand, c1968, unsteady, not-working, uncomfortable, sickenly beige-coloured, haemorrhoid-testing recliner. It was a good job that there was no urgency about the evacuations needed, cause it took me a while to get myself sorted out enough to actually get to the wet-room.

I got the central mass of flesh over the end of the chair, rear-end part-way over the cushion, and using the arms of the recliner as an aid, pushed my lumbering body up to get on my feet. Half-way up, and the right arm had a visit from Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters failing, and the arm slipped off of the chair arm, knocked a bottle of spring water off of the ottoman, clouted the shoulder, and the body-mass clumped back onto the recliner! Argh! 

Making things even more severe for Harolds Haemorrhoids, who took the brunt, as I landed, missing the precious pain-saving cushion ring, making the pain somewhat worse!

But it didn’t bother me, I’m used to such things happening, I merely smiled to myself, laughed, and… Oh, alright! I cringed, pulled faces, silently swore, and lay there (I considered crying) feeling the warm wet sensation coming from my beleaguered piles into the Protection Pants!

This caused a semi-panic mode, and I somehow or other got back up, carefully but as quickly as I dare, caught my balance, and ‘Oh, so painfully’ hobbled to the toilet. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do first, but the wee-wee won, as I sat down, I got the crossword book out. As the tinkling from the weak wee-weeing began, I had a look at the first crossword clue, that was as far as I got with it – the rear-end evacuation started and finished in about a minute!

I was flabbergasted! The DESB (Daily-Evacuation-Stakes-Battle) this morning between Trotsky Terence and Constipation Konrad, was a draw. The scene afterwards, looked like could have been from the ‘Hostel’ movie!

Medicated and sanitised the low rear end, and then medicated with the Germoloid ointment. Opened another pack of too small Tena’s I got from Amazon after Sainsbury’s had substituted the wrong sized too-small PPs. That didn’t work, did it! I’m a lucky bugger!

I had a good cleaning up of the bowl and got the old bloodied PPs packed away for the contaminated box. Had a final wash and wiped the contact points, and off to get the Health Checks done. I felt like I’d been up for hours!

Started with the Boot’s sphygmomanometerisationing: The sys was up again, to 168 this time. The pulse was also higher than usual, at 93, this may have something to do with the evacuational problems  I’d just suffered, I expect.

The Harpin Xian Di thermometer read as 36.3°c.

Then I got the medications taken for last night – Yes, I foolishly missed them again! Spurgledamnations! Must remember to take the morning ones later.

I got on with updating the Tuesday blog. Hours later, I’d got it finished and posted it off.

Sent the Email link off. Pinterested a couple of photographs, and launched into what turned out to be a two-hour session of Facebooking! Then went on the WordPress Reader.

Aha, time to do a search of the skies to see if I can see Venus and or the moon. Well, you can’t really see it, I didn’t, but one of them on closer examination of the picture, was there, just! Sqwiggle up close to the photo, screw your eyes up, go about three inches from the screen, and you might see it (Venus?) in the box I drew. I hope!

I made the first brew of the day around 06:30hrs, then took the morning medications, and I did some more updating.

I got the ablutions sorted out. Not a good session, but hardly worth mentioning really. (I lost the page of notes wot I wrote about this, and a day later, it’s all a blank memory-wise!) Chungleblast! However, photos found triggered the memory of the Sock-Glide Battle! I lost 3-0!

Each sock, in turn, gave me exactly the same problems. The uncut nails got trapped in the mesh of the diabetic socks, causing a few tears in the material!

Both big toes, I found out later, couldn’t see them at the time, had the nails so distorted, they bled!

I’ve got new bruises on the fingers.

Arthur Itis and Cartilage Cathy kicked off with the straining, pulling and pushing!

I also found out when putting on one of the new Amazon supplied PPs (Protection Pants), that this pack had considerably smaller sizes in it!

It wasn’t right. I decided to see if I could get an appointment with the Cost-a-Fortune woman who does feet one half-day a week at the Winwood Court. I’ll call in to ask Deana about it.

I got the hand-washing done, wrung and hung. Only did a woolly hat and the pair of yesterdays socks.

I decided in an instant, I would go to town today. (In the morning, I made a blog about this trip to town) chiro

Inchcocks 6th Great Escape from Lockdown

As soon as the Porcelain Session was dealt with, which went tremendously well. Well, a lot of bleeding, but still. I go myself sorted-out ready, in a fashion, and set off on my escape.

Getting out of the door should have told me something, like perhaps, Stay in, this bodes not well! I gave my left for a right stinging crack on the trolley guide wheels. The toenails gave me agony!

I got down to the ground floor and through the attractive, highly decorative, homely lift lobby. Hehehe! Can’t be helped, the decorators are in.

I left through the fronts doors (which seemed a sensible option, Haha!, I am a fool!) I limped along to the recycle bin and put the jars and bottles in it. Then hirpled along to Winwood Court and spoke with Wardens Deana and Julie, asking about the Chiropodist situation. Told me to ask at the hairdressing salon. So, I did! I

I visited the Windwood Extra Care Court’s hairdressing salon. A lady came to me and asked what I was after, and I told her. I was wondering if I could get the foot-lady to cut my toenails? The lady kindly gave me a card when I said I might forget Hehe! Apparently, the Chiropodist only calls for one-afternoon a week, on a Friday. She starts at 13:00hrs. Which is understandable, because she charges too much and doesn’t get too many customers. But Covid-19 has been kind to her.

I thanked the woman, said cheerio to Deana and Julie was I passed their holding and interrogation cell and departed outside.

I took the opportunity to take some photographs of Winwood Court. First a view of Winchester Court from outside the Winwood Extra Care Court.

I then hand a limp around the back of Winchester Court, to take a photo showing part of the Woodthorpe Grange Park greenery.

It was quiet out there, apart from the blustery wind. And I had a mini-thought storm. I pondered on the first time I visited the flats, with a view to my moving in, and my first gut reactions. ‘No way, its desolate, depressing and so out of the way!’ I decided against moving. But when I heard later that there was a bus service, I revisited. Glad I did now! Funny how things change. So many things have happened since healthwise. Getting peripheral neuropathy, having the stroke, diabetes, and then Molluscum Contagiosum, and Atopic dermatitis… I’m so pleased to be here.

The upgrading that started in 2017 will shortly be finished, I hope. And the toes were not hurting so much now. This would soon change into a persistent pain syndrome, the more I walked! Ah, well, serves me right!

I turned to go back to the frontage of the complex. I knew without looking at my watch, that it wasn’t time for the bus yet, not enough tenants waiting at the bus stop.

I got to the shelter and waited, and the first bus, an L9 arrived. Thus started my trip to town and escape from the lockdown! All covered in the blog link above.

I got off of the number 40 bus that brought me home from the tiring, exhausting, Accifauxpa and embarrassment riddled little visit to the town of Nottingham. I got the three-wheeled walker guide, with the three shopping bags of stuff hanging onto it, off of the bus with no mishaps. Took this picture as I made my way to by beloved Woodthorpe Court at the end of Chestnut Walk, it seemed such a long way, so worn to was I. (Poor thing! Hahaha!)

I put the shopping away and got the much-needed nosh sorted. A feast of sorts this one, and contained, Crispy bacon, mini pork pie, ready-mase BLT sarnie, pickled cabbage and egg, beetroot, a Marmite cheese disc, and the last of the potato letters. I suppose it was I felt so drained and was feeling ravenous after the hobbling about, that I gave this an 8.5/10 for flavour! Even though I couldn’t eat it all up.

I got the pots in the bowl soaking, and was soon down in the recliner, in need of Sweet Morpheus more than usual. He obliged! ZZZ!

Inchcocks Escape to town No.5 – Wed 16th Dec 20: Oh, dearie me!

Out into the Drizzle

I arrived in town with aches and pains from the bus trip, I was already sorry I’d escaped! The bus ride was a battle between me keeping the trolley-guide from running away every time we took a corner, jammed the anchors on, went downhill, and my falling out of the seat! Harolds Haemorrhoids were stinging! I called in the Wilko store to get some of the Laundry freshener, which I did. I came out, with three of the granules, chocolate brazils, peanuts and a bottle of disinfectant.

I left and hobbled to the Poundland Shop, where I got carried away and frustrated. They had no pies, Dettol or filled BLT sarnies. After a physical battle with other shoppers breathing down my neck cause I was not moving fast enough, people running in front of me in the queue, I paid with the card at the checkout for the: Toffiffee box, Frazzles, White waste bags, Perle De Perle lemon desserts, Ginsters pasties, Microfibre cleaning cloths, can of stewed steak, Oxo cubes, Mint and lemon disinfectant, (Good for the overnight emergency grey wee-wee bucket, you know!) and a packet of Senna tablets.

Out in the drizzle, passing all the jolly, happy, sociable, kind, understanding, smiling, sweet-natured Nottinghamians, merrily going about their shoplifting and pickpocketing activities. Avoiding the pavement cyclists was risky!

Along Upper Parliament Street, and down King Street towards the Market Square. The wind was getting up, I was struggling controlling the three-wheeler guide, and getting the odd shower from the buses as they pulled up from the puddles. The toenails joined the piles in giving me some tender stinging as I limped down the hill.

I stopped at the bottom of Long Row opposite the tree, and took the time to just glance around, (in my Sherlock Holmesian Mode, here!), to access the mood of the Nottingham plebeians. The masks were being worn by, I’d estimate, 60% of the Nottingham great unwashed, Students, muggers etc., but I got the view that the masses, were not too content with life, but, who can blame them?

I limped across the Slab Square. I’d decided to go to the other Poundland Store on Wheeler Gate, in search of some Dettol disinfectant, and BLT sarnies. A sense of doom and gloom came over me as I crossed over, starving pigeons came down to me when I stopped a moment to try and wriggle the keet to free the toenails that had got tangled in the sock. They must have thought I was going have summat to eat, and hoped a few crumbs would fall to the floor?

Long Row looked terribly sad. Temporary and permanently closed stores everywhere, a desperate pigeon seeking fodder of some sort, and few Nottinghamians about! I got in the Poundland and had another struggle to get around, the feet and toes were harrowing painful now. I cheered a smidge when I found some Dettol lavender disinfectant on sale and got three bottles. As I meandered about I added, two part-baked baguettes, pork pie, a BLT sarnie, The wobbles came on when I got to the self-serve tills, I was embarrassed and in a pickle.

A young lady helped me out and picked up the dropped items and out them through for me. She was busy and kept nipping off to help others, and I started to all out of the shop with the trolley and bags hanging all over it, and the girl chased after me… I had not paid! Red-faced (it probably showed through the face-mask!) I returned and used the card…

Oh, heck! The machine would not take the card! I went into Panic-Mode. The young lady tried to calm me down, but all sorts of things were going through my mind, embarrassment being the biggest! I fumble around and found enough cash to pay, the lady was very calm about it. I thanked her and dug out a can from the trolley, of Vodka mix and gave it to her. When I got outside, I calmed down a bit, as I realised I’d used the card earlier at the other store, so the bak might have been being cautious, in case the card had been stolen and used?

I got to the slab square and noticed the large number of crows that were about. Someone had dropped some crumbs whatever, and the crows dived down attacking the pigeons? I had a good while before the bus was due, so I walked around the Council House and back along Long Row on the other side, to King Street. 

The Primark Store had bouncers and staff controlling the shoplifting customers as they queued up to do some pilfering. I don’t know how the stop stays in business. I rarely go in nowadays, its a large store with escalators and stairs, so I can’t go shopping there anymore anyway. But the times in the past I’ve seen kleptomaniacs and pickpockets at work when I did shop there, was phenomenal.

As I turned up King Street to go to the bus stop, the PAvement Cyclist git it blue, came withing inched of hitting me, and seemed totally unaware of it. I hoped my taking this photo might trigger him to ask me why I was photographing him, as he chatted to a fellow food deliverer. Then I could have told him! But, no!

The three Christian singers were out again further up the road, near the Brian Clough statue, its called speakers corner. They or one or more of them are regular attenders. The chap on the right with the guitar started this singing to the Lord off first. I’ve never seen him in long trousers, whatever the weather is like?

I got up to the bus stop and took this snap as I arrived there, it is sadly, indicative of the mood of the City Centre today. Drab! I caught a number 40 bus back home, glad I did, it is much quicker than the L9.

I was tired, in pain, mangled toenails, Duodenal Donald starting to kick-off, depressed, embarrassed, and oh, so keen and ready for fodder and sleep!