LIFT WOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP

THINGS GOT WORSERER!

Made redundant, for another job I applied,
I’ve done Nationwide deliveries before, I lied,
Naughty of me, not at all justified!
I fancied getting out and about Nationwide,
Room on the 12th-floor, Which would be wise?
Up by the stairs? No, the lift I did decide,
Into the cage all alone, nervous, not petrified…

The elevator shuddered to a halt, was it alright?
The panel gave a beep-beep, and flashing red light,
An hour later, I was in a pickle and plight,
Interview time had passed, but last night…
I made some sarnies, tomato and Marmite,
Tucked into them, and pondered as I might,
On the missed opportunity for the job…
That made me want to sob.

For desperate for a wee-wee was I ever so!
Another hour before they rescued me, though,
I needed that wee-wee first; I had to go!
Found a toilet, boy did the urine flow!
Searched for DHP offices high & low,

Aha, gorrit, and in I did go, with agusto,
Then found I had another problemo…
‘You’ve come to the wrong place, don’t you know!’
Smethwick you want, east of here you must go,
She tried to ring them, they were incommunicado,
‘They’ve likely all gone home,’ leaving me in limbo!

Trying to look dignified, back to my Triumph Toledo,
To look at the map… but oh, no no no!
A security guard saw it driven out by a fellow,
I called him a useless so and so!
There was this man, me, a saddo fatso…
Crying and screaming like a soprano… although,
I got another interview for the job, you know…
I didn’t get the job, of course, which is no curio!