Tips & Advice for Whippersnappers
Waking Actions Advice
In the morning, confusing thought storms swirl about…
Ignore them, cause you’ll never understand, no doubt,
They should stop by evening when you are well tired out…
Working out what day it is, who you are, what life’s about…
Is a waste of time nowadays; you’ll only freak out!
Mental Status
The brain will often go off of its own accord, for self-rumination,
Planning on how to save the corruption of this Nation,
You’ll ignore this, mainly cause you’ve already got depression.
Your ailments hassle you, with many a repercussion,
You might like to arrange a funeral gumphion?
Memory Analysis
You’ll be pleased you can remember when a film was premiered,
But it’ll be one of Will Hays, and that gets you flustered!
But you think all of his films were absolute mustard!
Sometimes you think your memory is alright, to be trusted…
In reality, at best, it’ll be patchy, fractured, and fragmented,
All a part of losing one’s sanity and getting demented!
Doctors Dentist Opticians
You will find yourself wanting the Doctor consulted…
But you won’t get through on the phone, that is accepted,
Coronavirus and that, appointment-making becomes protracted,
Try emailing by all means; indeed, with this, I experimented…
Gmail bounced back the Email, now I’m wherrited!
The Dentist
Appointment coming, I get Emails to be prompted,
Threats of what I’ll be charged if I miss it or if delayed…
Nearly £200 minimum, Gawd, I am amazed!
In their chair, I’d ha dome painful days!
They are not even good dentists… I’m schnockered!
The opticians…
I genuinely fear, attending again,
The lady last time, I warned of my shakes…
Then shook and knocked over all of the lens templates!
She threw me a stare of utter disdain!
Now she thinks I shouldn’t be in the food chain!
I genuinely fear attending again!
Life
Although I may sound depressed and mean-spirited,
In actual fact, I do not feel the slightest bit morbid…
Despite the brain and memory have mutineered…
It’s not as bad as I initially feared…
Cause everything else in life has gone crazy and weird!
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Inchcock’s Tips & Advice for Whippersnappers Series
Alto-Ego Inchie Comment:
Any causes for concern about Inchcock’s state of mind and bodily condition need not be mentioned. The dumbo is aware; he’s just incapable of doing owt about it!
It’s always good totry and get a grasp on those essentials. Excellent opening ode.
Cheers, Tim, Sir.
As truthful and ode as has ever been written and distributed for the readers on this planet and all of the globe’s its Tellurians. Only someone who has been around for 3/4 of a century, and that same someone who has been a keen observer of world that be. Yes, that individual with the initials GC could say:
“G, U C”
Or, in full: “Gee, You See”
The keen-hearted writer of this blog — Inchy — tells it straight, he leaves no screw unloosened, no tale untold, and in a way you may grow into the younger you, you grow backword into time and inform the younger “you” about their possible future. You find those you lost when you were moving forward into time. You know what jobs are unstable and you make sure to find a lost lover because you have perfect insight into that person’s life, and exactly when and where you meet the one who got away. And you greet them. Hopefully, without freaking them out at the same time. So you play yer cards close.
You are granted an ability to live backward into time. You still begin in 1947 but since you are living your life backward into time, you take the paths you did not take. You are able to tweak things that happened poorly, and you improve your life by not making the same mistakes. You become a wise man who, having lived backard into time rather than forward finds himself in the year 1872, 75 years back from the future from whence you came and where you began in 1947. At every birthday you change things that you bollocked up (or things that others bollocked up). Now you have the opportunity to learn from your mistakes by making a better world for yourself and others who do the same thing. Welcome to 1872. Find out when and where you can meet H.G. Wells.
So far, I see only one error in my corkulations. You began in 1946 and find your 75 birthday in 1871. Lord Google might let you know what happened in 1871. Here it is, actually:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_Nottingham
Thee doth ring commentwise with a certaineth truethfullness, Sir Billum. (This olde English is taking some getting me head ’round.) Haha!
Well, I’m baffleder than ever now. But tis notteth a bad thing, Sir.
Hahaha!
Cheers for the monologue and laugh! ♥
Ye olde Englishe beith a bit puzzling at times, even to the extent of becoming bafflete of course.
20 days ’til Christmas, and all is fell.
I don’t see why they changed the name of Snottingham to Nottingham in the 1600’s. Do you think in time, it will be altered to Ottingham?
Well, fell? Is that a mountain fell? A tripped over and fell? Or a fell in love, Sir? No doubt you have had to cope with all three? Hehehe!
A good question, Sir. Snottingham includes much better colorage and flavor. What were they thinking in the 1600’s? I could vote for Ottingham. Sir Google has several visual holdings in the attic, to wit:
https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo/ottingham.html
There might also beith som interest in what some folks not living in Nottingham might suggest as an opt name for Nottingham’s city slogan. Another to wit:
Nottingham Schottingham
Fell is an adverb that the weather people on TV might want to use:
Might as well have a third “to wit”, making this reply a hat trick:
Fell weather in Nottingham today. I felt the fell in the air upon leaving my flat this morning. It fell on me to fell the tree. And so it be.
Nottingham Schottingham, reminds me of the Marx Brothers… or someone else?
Twitting as opposed tp tweeting, mayhaps, good Sire? Much betterer!
So long as no one grasps my essentials 🙂
Habnaggit, failed again! Hahaha! Cheers.