Inchcock Today: My Daily Battle With My Brain – In Odes

Inchcock’s Battle With His brain

In Odes

I try to recall, days when I was sensual,
Indulged in things rampantly sexual,
Although things were rather unequal,
I managed a few times, it was often bestial,
But with Grizelda, the pleasure was mutual,
Always an absolute delight, as usual,
Not once, did we tergiversate, it was lovely, mate!

I try to recall, days when I was sensual,
Indulged in things rampantly sexual,
Although things were rather unequal,
I managed a few times, it was often delightfully bestial,
But with Grizelda, the pleasure was mutual,
Always an absolute delight, as usual.
Not once, did we tergiversate, it was lovely, mate!

Yes, some memories are unshakeable,
But the memories can become unreliable,
Some memories remain clearly visible…
Even bad ones, that were loathsome and derisible…
Some get distorted, it’s sadly undeniable,
The better ones, that are so delightful…
Can, mournfully get mixed too, and that is awful!

Often things seem to be unfathomable, unlocatable,
Sometimes I can find this almost laughable…
Mostly frustration and self-loathing become forceful,
I find that vascular dementia tastes disgraceful,
I’ll sit and stew, pass wind – rather odourful…
Moping, moody, penitently, depressed and remorseful!

Suddenly, I get determined and resourceful…
I’ll write notes on the computer, paper, and get hopeful!
But forget I’ve done it, or to check; it’s pitiful…
Then I sink back to depression, and being slothful!

I seem to be stuck, with being permanently doubtful,
Worrying, fretting, failing, it makes me so miserable!
It’s difficult, wearying; not capable of being hopeful!
I don’t think I am really sour or unthoughtful…
But my plans always turn out unsuccessful,
Things happen, Accifauxpas, errors, by the shedful…
They are made by others as well, it makes me fearful,
I can’t put them right, and that is awfully stressful,
The hearing, sight, memory, stuttering are dreadful,
They stop me sorting things out, making me regretful,
Life goes on, getting more and more strifeful,
No chance of my ever regaining logic or being successful!

My fears, frustration, handicaps, are plentiful…
Always having to try to be overcareful,
This ode is turning into tattle and waffle…
Today, I’m down, and not being very subtle…
Trying to write, is a Peripheral Neuropathy caused a kerfuffle!

I suppose I could just put on the kettle?
Make a brew of Glengettie, and have a tipple?
Hello, the door chime did tinkle…
The Morrison order arrived, a cheering up signal!

I’ve got some new drinks in for Carers now, wonderful!
Suddenly, I don’t feel such a numbskull…
Ordered three beef pasties, only got one – but I’m thankful,
At least the treats for the Carers are plentiful!
I’m humming to myself now; a sign of becoming convivial?
Suddenly my problems appear more trivial!
Food and chinwags are what are essential…

Part of Inchcock’s Make Them Laugh – In Ode Series

10 thoughts on “Inchcock Today: My Daily Battle With My Brain – In Odes

  1. A sad degradation from rampantly sexual and bestial with Grizelda to simply trivial. Well remembered and summed up in ode.

  2. A matter of love heartfelt true
    Bring memories straight out of the blue
    Strength and resolve your heart to pursue
    With fervent accords belonging only to you
    To tergiversate in the mists never to equivocate.

    Being a way to chinwag with lingering lovers past.

    Being odes wagging chins in the ether with others.

  3. I was talking with my little sister today and we recalled all the things we would get up to regularly. Neither of is can do these epic events relying on our own locomotion. We worked in downtown Cincinnati and would find delightful places to have lunch together, attend Willliams Sonoma cooking presentaions, walking along the streets at holiday times and noticing a diner circa 1945 was.near an entrance we would use. It was packed during lunch, so we came on off times with our little Taylor. We took in the Xmas windows and the main mall on the ground level was dressed with a 30 foot decorated tree that included gorgeous fairyland types of bears dressed to perform dancing and playing an orchestra with their own little dancers in holiday finery. Our little Taylor loved it but truth be told we were delighted children inside. I haven’t been able to see them because of the pandemic but we recently learned how to FaceTime and even watched TV together the other day and all of these special memories could make me yearn for what was, but I feel how joyful to have been to go to all these places together, Neither of us are capable of doing these sorts of things again due to our physical limitations, but it all happened and nothing can tahke it away. Inchy you might want to write up all you remember now for your future reading when the neuropathy interferes. Then you have your memories on hard disc Also, take some flights of fancy trying out your sleep meditations and you may find actual memory resurfacing in that relaxed state. Love to you my dear!

    • Thank you petal, like reading things of your passed… or is that past? Past… I think…
      The pass, pas… days of old, have a lot of bad memories, Lisa. But one is selective, methinks. Hahaha! ♥
      Keepeth well all, and furries. ♥

  4. There surely are bad deeds done us in our past. I had a huge time of cognizant dissonance in some decades of my past, but the grand joy of lying down in late spring on the private side of the yard after I mowed it and feeling my body meld with the earth covered with soft, new grass while watching the clouds move, change shapes and speed, stands much stronger in my memory than the mean words of a drunk who seemed only to want to kill my happiness is almost forgotten. One good reason I squashed its joy robbing power was the true and heartfelt apology followed up with demonstrations of that sorrow of having harmed his kids from my parent. I have a feeling you never had that Gerry, and the other two parties who served as parents in my childhood never admitted in their own minds that they were legit horrors so they mean nothing to me and all of them are dead. My Dad made it up so I am able to reclaim those magic moments of being that kept me hanging on to tje side of the lifeboat! You and I must find a way to meditate together and create a reality where we can share our friendship in that stillness and overcome the old fears and anguish. We are taking one another’s hand with only this devise.and means of connection which seemed like the talk of a CRAZY PERSON! Haha! We share our histories by type, and we deal with similar challenges daily and nightly! We have our deep rapport and I treasure you dear. Oh yes, we also share a Billums! What could be nicer!

    • You’ve gone through a lot gal – and came out shining! ♥
      Mayhaps we share more, HRH. Our nocturnal cloud-cuckoo-land, Eden-like fantasy dreams? Not very often, but they are marvelous when they come. I think I had one last night – for sure, I was in your and Billums home, floating, looking and loving! 🧡 ♫ 🎸

Leave a Reply