Inchies Local New Snippets with Odes- Part Two

Inchies Local New Snippets Part Two

Here are some terrible crimes being committed,
That will never be lessened or ameliorated,
While issuing laughable, pathetic sentences…
And obviously guilty scum, even get acquitted!
Judges and Parole officers aren’t assassinated.

Prisons are losing many an inmate…
Out on the run, not waiting for their release date…
They’d be freed by the Parolees and only had to wait…
Judges give them ten years… you’ll have to do two, mate…
A policy of being kind, as they kill… I can’t explicate!

Part Two of Nottingham’s Animalistic Crime Snippets
Plus, a rare bit of good news – I hope

I nearly got caught by these scamming swine!
At 03:40hrs the other morning, I was drinking wine…
The mobile phone tune flashed, did opine,
A text message tune. Had someone forgotten the timeline?

To me, this looked all genuine and fine,
With the NHS website on a lower line…
I got back to my alcohol-free wine,
No need to take any ranitidine!

But I fretted over it, oh, this worrying of mine…
Dithering, vacillation and my mental decline…
Carer Richard, fast becoming a mate of mine,
Investigated, found the telephone number online,
Do not use it! It was a Scammers mobile line!
Richard’d saved me from another dwine!

Whoever took this photo is a braver person than me,
Eight men fighting in front of your home are, ayee!
I’d hide behind the curtain, likely needing a wee-wee,
Full marks to the photographer, heroic of thee…

What going on with violence in this country?
I suppose it’s similar in Liverpool and Coventry?
Italy, France, Ireland, America or Germany?
Gangs, some worse than were the Mafia family!.

No peace for the lad’s family. Indeed, there will be no justice in the sentencing if they are found guilty.

Oh, the poor unfortunate little chickadee,
Sentenced to six years in prison… he’ll soon be free…
The Parole Board won’t let him serve more than three,
These overpaid do-gooders really wrangle me!

So are so many paedophiles walking free,
But we can’t cure them, you see?
Why are they let off so easily?
Bent judges? Or full of sympathy?
Do judges and parollers suffer from epicaricacy?

Don’t approach him; he’s dangerous?
Life imprisonment; in an open jail, Jesus!
Why, with such dangerous scum, be generous?
With his record, he’s not likely to be abstemious!
He wants, he takes, violently, certainly not adiaphorous!
He’s cleverer than they thought and stays anonymous…
Till he went on telly, sticking his finger up at us

A letter just arrived from the Doctor,
I know, it was a bit of a shocker…
I thought she’d died; bless her,
It’s been so long since I saw her… November?
I hope she’s not got any sneerier…
I’ve got to make an appointment without failure…

For a Severe Frailty Revue… what can I do?
Cataract ops that’ll make me blind are due?
One on the 15th, then the 18th, not one, but two,
Then the dentists are due around then too…
Dementia Doreen keeps putting me in a screw…
Neuropathy Pete, sending me in a mental stew,
Plans, thoughts, ideas, and intentions are all askew,
Ask for help, they tell me, and that I’d do…
Sounds logical, but to where and who?


Drunken rages; the man needs help, assistance… but he’s, had support before, but he gets more violent, his partner is in desperate need of help, but shows impressive residence and loyalty… why? I don’t know. Likely because she is so scared of the slob? So it’s heartwarming seeing the caring about the victim judge telling him, after issuing the pathetic sentencing, that he will only serve half of the prison term before being released?

Justice is all we want to see?
Something to make the victim worry-free!
I agree that there is no guarantee…
But slaps on the wrist are fiddle de dee…
The justice system has gone all namby-pamby!


The Sun Glasses arrived through the door,
Squashed through the letterbox, Cor!
But unbroken, what is more,
The price tag on them read £15.54!
But I paid £4.94, a bargain for sure…
Plastic tag keeping them closed, or…
I’d try them on, but I can’t open them anymore…
Kathleen’s Cataracts, eyesight so poor,
Now, even so cheap, they’ve lost their allure!


Sad as they come…


Ha, Ha, Ha!

I’m confused?

Well, that’s no surprise!

I’m not saying I was not a bit of a tearaway,
But, I see more crumbling of morals day by day,
Manners, politeness, honesty… all in decay…
Empathy, caring, and understanding float away…

Uneducated, unemployable youths today…
Join gangs for self-protection, they say?
Can’t get a job, to violence they stray…
Yet they’re experts on scamming and eBay?

To a degree, it was the same back in my day?
But we knew when to give way, not like today…
Instead of a one-on-one fistfight, now it’s a machete…
Gun, knife, anything to harm and kill nowadays!

If I asked to tell them to be kinder and pray…
Then I would end up as one of their prey!
They rely on drugs and their illegal distillery,
As they age, those not yet killed move on to spivvery,
Get too old for burglary and robbery…
To become au faux with blackmail and bribery…
Some will start wearing ladies’ hosiery…
And, if there’s any justice, catch leprosy!


57 thoughts on “Inchies Local New Snippets with Odes- Part Two

  1. Lisa is much impressed at the skillful graphicalizations that make us into respectable crime fighters ready to take on the Parole Boarders wherever they lurk.
    Corruption at the highest level is making criminality a popular lifestyle, those Parole Boarders make a life of dirty-dealing look like it’s worth taking a chance at getting early parole? Literally getting away with murder is what we witness.
    Those connivers who take advantage of a populace concerned about Covid: a low way to make a living by implying that they possess the secret to defeating the virus. A sad business indeed. How many empty jail cells will become occupied by these tricksters? Not a one methinketh.
    The thought that those nine (one adult and eight young people looking for someone to serve as role models) killers will likely resume looking for another father to kill, another family to destroy.
    That paedophile is wiping out the hope of countless people, actually he had already been busy for many years before this latest dread damage. That raw savagery displayed by the abuser of the young mother brings brutality to a deep and depraved low, but, of course, he has received that incomprehensible 8-week sentence. How is the judge arrive at such slap on this prep’s wrist?

    • Worthily well written wordings William (Poetic licence?)
      I fear for mankind, as it slowly gnaws away at humanity, and self destructs!
      Cheers, Sir, HRH, Alan, and the furries! 💚

      • Thank you most kind gentleman! I am studying at The Crowell Crime College during my free hours, seeking to obtain a Certificate of Attendance with a focus on crime-scene poetry. Next week, we examine rascality within the urban cores of various notable metropolitan environments. Our textbook consists of thugs, thieves, and trickster accounts distilled from the planet’s leading criminalicist: Sir Gerald Cockingshire, presently researching at the Crowell Labhilarity 72 in No’ingham UK.
        All and each fank you profusely for being your kind self and wisheth yer a fine weekend of Sherlockian Studies 💚

      • Hahaha! On good smile-bringing form their Sir, I fanketh you. Struggling with Blogger, but can’t use WP, but can the comments today… What?

      • Bringing a smile is my chief aim, most kind Sir! Blogger and WP seem to be vying for the title Lousiest Blog Editor Ever. I am wondering if Michael Fries is the CEO of both.
        What indeed 🙂

      • You do make me smile with your clever innuendos, as you have again with this comment, Sir Billum.
        The connection twixt the three ‘uncaring’ companies was cleverly communicated, mate. What with them and Putin…

    • I found the word on WordHippo, Billum, while searching for another one. I can now use Schadenfreude next time. Hehe!
      It didn’t show on Google translator, is there a way to let them know?

      • A great question, Sir! I have contributed better translations of questionable or flat-out lousy translations for one of their language forums. I shall schedule time to get Schadenfreude in there as epicaricacy, it would allow me to take a break from the Labhilarities, a good thing indeed WordPress does not recognize epicaricacy. Of course there are also other things that WP does not recognize — such as their user base!

    • I can’t get into WP comment notification list anymore. I have to hope I get an email link, but it’s confusing finding s shortage of ‘reply’ buttons to some comments, so these may be a little out of sync, Sir. I want to finish all my accounts on WP and sturggle on with fault-ridden blogger. But how do you finish?
      Your ‘A great question’ reply: Well sorted and recognised wordings again Sir. Love the lab idea for Nottingham. Haha!

      • I wish that I could help, but not seeing the screen makes it a bit on the difficult side. Blogger is something I have not tried, but now I can see it right here on this here screen.
        Great questions keep me on me toes, I have been busily doing some work in the garden since we are enjoying an air mass from the North and West that brought 70 degree weather for Samstag und Sonntag, but more hot air is what arrives by Monntag. Oh, well then.
        The new labhilarity in Nottingham is breaking ground on Mittwoch dieser Woche! News release is in the proverbial mail. Hahaha!!

      • Somehow, Billum, I’ve got back into WP comments??? Not the reader, though. Let’s see if it will let you reply. Fingers crossed.
        Thanks for trying to get through on Blogger; it occasionally will let me reply to one comment, then not for days, and… I’m fed up.
        Good weatherski? Nice!
        And Grammarly is working at the moment.
        Carer Richard suggested a way to eat chilli yesterday morning; last night, I tried it. After eating, I had to hasten to the Throne three times. Nocturnally twice, and this morning… FIVE times! One resulting in an embarrassing ‘Not quick enough’ accifauxpas!
        I hope things start working on the blogs again, but email is the only real means. Tsk!
        I’ll try to catch up a bit. TTFN

      • This one made it here, now let’s see if the computers-that-be allow me to reply. Fingers crossed and dotted.
        Many thunderstorms this week, some with strong gusts.
        “Richard suggested” … ominous words in retrospect. And, five dashes to the porcelain throne, particularly the one that required a clean up, is quite a wear-outer. A not-quick-enough accifauxpas is a miss as good as a mile, or 1.6 kilometers, or 8 furlongs, or 320 rods. Hahaha!!
        TTFNski, matey!

      • Aha, you’ve cracked it, Billum and got through… Best not to mention it to WP, Blogger or Fries, though?
        The rain, is it needed, Bill? Tim Price, photo’d a massive storm with rain falling, that didn’t make it to the ground below? Huh!
        Just done a full diary with Richard’s response, with odes. Humorously, I hope.
        Your view on the timing of the Accifauxpas brought forth a laugh, fanks.
        Keep safe, TTFNski and keep well, all. ♥

      • I’ve also cracked a pile of peanuts from the shells that hid them. Cracked my head against a door jamb just yesterday, cracked a couple jokes, but have not cracked any corn recently.

        The South-West of the US is under a severe drought and New Mexico is right in the middle of the parched area. The water table was already low. We are recipients of moist air from the Gulf of Mexico that meets cooler air from Canada. We have been gifted with thunderstorms in the process.
        Looking forward to the Richard tale and ode 🙂
        We send our wishes to all and each over the ocean. Are they asking you to take over where Boris left off?

      • Aha, a cracking good day then, Billum?
        A Native American rain dance might help Tim? Glad you’re getting some.
        I think they missed the boat last time when I offerred my services to Queen & Country as Prime Minister. The agency did offer me a stamp-licking post in the Outer Hebrides, though.
        Cheers, thanks & have a great day!

      • We are getting two storms today. The second one should arrive later this afternoon and might include some lightning. Would that I could send some of it to Tim, but the freight costs might just be prohibitively high and even the 97 basement labs at Crowell Manor do not have the means to pack up a thunderstorm and to ship it to New Mexico. But “never say never” is one of our many mottos. The rain dance appears to be the best option right now.

      • Hehe! Mayhaps we could Time-Visit and take a can or two of rainwater for Tim?
        This long distance rain dacing on the balcony gets me some odd looks. Hahaha!
        Cheers for the cheer!

      • A grand idea, Sir. The space/time machine spends entirely too much time in the garage when it could be used valuably for bringing our overflow of water to Tim’s underflow and resulting drought.
        Also a way to lessen those odd looks at your rain-dancing routine. Just like feeding two birds with one scone. 🙂

      • Tickling that did, Sir. Coincidentally… when Valerie was here earlier, I had a wobbly as she was watching me and said: “Be careful, I thought were going to start dancing then!” I thought about rain dancing at the time.
        I’ve half a scone left in the fridge? Har-har!

      • I like that dancing scene. Vivid Valerie!
        A rain dance just might work. Look to the South and West to direct the rain to fall in New Mexico!
        ‘arf a scone is enough for a flock of birds. Depends on the size of the flock of course.

      • I’ll try that this afternoon, Bill.
        Tis so sad here, not only are we not allowed pets, but are also barred from feeding the squirrels and birds – due to the burgeoning number of rats about. Wel, they have to eat.

      • I very much agree, Gerry. The squirrels and birds were here in a wilderness before we arrived to shove them out of the way. Petal and I set leftovers at an edge of the yard by some tall pine trees, it is the least we can do methinks. It would otherwise claim space in a large-enough landfill. A win-win then. Hurrah!

      • Good thinking, Billum. I don’t half-miss going into the copss every day, I found a lovely spot, I ahd to climb up a tree a bit, but the blackbirds soon cottoned on to hat I was doing, and were often waiting in the branches above. I back away and they would come down enmass, the whole fruit loaf was gone in minutes. Hahaha! Good for them. Which reminds me, I ought to have some of the photos I took, I’ll haveth a look.
        Win-Win… spot on!

      • Would that be the trail leading to the copse and visible from 72? A very inviting path in either case. The Adventure of the Blackbirds and the Fruit Loaf, soon to be a major motion picture. I can envision that crowd fluttering and cawing away — that will be on the soundtrack that accompanies the major motion picture, of course.

      • That be the copse, Billum, it hurts more being able to see it every morning, but not be able to visit it.
        Brilliant idea for the film and soundtrack for it, Hahaha! Gaveth me a much needed laugh, thanks Bill.

      • I like that well-worn path. It reminds me of something I heard about how city planners in Finland do not pave paths in newly constructed parks. They first wait to see where the visitors tread on the grass, then they pave the paths most favored.
        Time to put in an order for that soundtrack!

      • Snorting Salamanders! I had forgotten that WP, Blogger, and Mike F all follow your blog. I was wondering why there were so many Paparazzi out on the porch. Anonymity is impossible these days.
        Looking forward to seeing that rain disappear in thin air.
        I am still in catch-mode, so have not yet read the diary entry on Richard.
        And another ding of the bell for inducing a larf.

      • “Paparazzi out on the porch!” Best keep them out, Billum. They may be after your time-machine secrets in Lab-29? Harh-har!

      • I had a nightmare last night – He of the red wig, sent his minnions to steal your time machine, and try again to stay in power… Aha, but he failed, you fluffies, oddly with assistance of Cyril, beat off the raiders! Hahaha!

      • You have the best dreams. Those minions of devilry will stop at nothing to steal the time machine and to use it for the most nefarious criminal schemes. As were a banana-republic takeover the perfect expression of genteel democracy. Fortunately, those splendid fluffies joined with the inimitable Cyril to foil those dastards. I shall notify Hollywood that the Lord of Not Tingham has the beginnings of a screenplay. Expect a phone call. HaDiHa!

      • Cracked a few smiles there, Sir, I fank you!
        Is that right, that someone said they saw Elvis at the weekend in a drive in movie, in ? I think he was pulling my leg?

      • Good cracking to you, Sir. Elvis sightings seem to increase with each passing year. They’re talking about an 87-year-old survivor. 13 years from his century mark. That guy may have been pulling *both* legs. Haha!!

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