A Solicitor’s phone rings: “I want to speak to my lawyer.”
The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but he died last week.”
The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist answers, “I told you yesterday, he died last week.”
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer.
By this time the receptionist, getting a little annoyed says “I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?”
The bloke says, “Because I just love hearing you say that!”
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Sunday 20th December 2015
Up at 0615 hrs, late again for me.
Cleaned up the mess from me Whoopsidangleplop last night.
Nothing was found broken. Well, I don’t think so, I’ve not tried my headphones yet.Cuppa and took me medications.
Cuppa and took me medications.
To the bathroom to get the silly frilly knickers off and check out ‘Little Inchy’.
Only a few spots of blood this morning on me adult nappy! Hehe!
Laptop on and finished yesterday’s diary and started this one off.
Facebook and WordPress for a few hours.
Got myself cleaned up, (Put me usual undies on) got the bags for the rubbish chute and went out of the flat one my walk into Sherwood. The lady in the opposite apartment was coming out of her door and asked me if a mat that was in the entrance to the three flats
was mine. I said no, and she quizzed me as to she thought she’d seen in inside my door earlier? I showed her the mat that was inside the front door. I almost felt guilty such was her contempt. I think she felt guilty cause she helped me take me bags to the chute and rang for the lift for me bless her cotton socks.
Out and up the hill into Woodthorpe Grange Park.
I like watching the people with their dogs in the park.
The antics of some of the dogs always brings a smile to my face.
On down to Mansfield Road and left up
the hill and down into Sherwood.
Called in the Co-op and had a good walk around, but they had nothing that I fancied or decent on offer.
Walked down to Wilko to see if they had those magical duster things on offer and they had, so I got one and some refills.
Out and back up to the hill.
The high winds were bothersome, although they were not cold with it.
To the left was the sunshine to the right threatening dark clouds?.
Over the brow of the hill and down and into the gate to the park and up the
footpath.
As I entered, there were not people dogs or cyclist on the path.
Seconds later they all seemed to come from nowhere like.
The people and their dogs were not a problem of course, but the Pedestrian Path Cyclist nearly had me when he belted by from behind was.
The Swine!
To the top of the path and right down to the magnificent home of mine.
On the way, I saw a woman in the distance with one of those throw sticks and when she threw the ball for her black Labrador – he’d lumber after it, pick it up then drop it there and lay down waiting for her to catch up with him. Not that it mattered, they both seemed happy. Hehe!
Back in the flat and I put away my new duster and refill and nipped to the bathroom to check on ‘Little Inchy’s’ condition. No blood at all as I could see.
Got me spuds in the oven to roast, two frikadellen ready to add to them later. Then got this diary updated.
Did a bit and checked on my spuds. All okay, not ready yet to add me beef-cakes.
The rain started belting down.
Glad I missed it when I was out and about.
Thoughts about tomorrow and going into the hospital for ‘Little Inchy’ to be examined mused through my mind for a good while. Made sure I’d got my bag of things ready to take with me.
The nosh was ready, and I served it up. Possibly my best tasting one yet.
Enjoyed it, Frikadellen, roast potato cubes, caramelised sausage roll, and beetroot, with BBQ sauce, followed by a pot of mandarins in orange juice.
Rated this one 9.6/10.
Took me evening medications and got me Haematology record card in the coat pocket ready for tomorrow. Must remember to go to Queens Medical Centre for me INR Warfarin level Test first, then hopefully, I can catch the inter-hospital bus to the City Hospital then the GUM clinic in the grounds to have Little Inchy examined and find out if I am to stay in overnight or not.
Stayed awake to watch three episodes of Columbo on the box – well, 2.8 episodes, I fell asleep and missed the end of the third one. Tsk!
Washed the pots, WC’d and got back in the chair… Zzzz!

Frank (another tenant) came down and out for a fag at the front of the foyer.
home-made card he’d left on the table in reception with the others.
Got me nosh, beef pie, pickled egg, beetroot, sweet potato mince, carrots and potato scones.
Caught the L9 bus into the City Centre and made me way to the bank to see why I had no received any statements, but it was so busy I continued on through town to the Rent Offices at Loxley House to see about the rent arrears situation and my loss of Good Tenant Status.
I walked down by the canal and fed some ducks a i walked over the bridge.
Up into the slab square through the milling shoplifters of Olde Nottingham.
decorated a chair there.
kitchen…
likely to start again.
More Hassle! Must get the bus to FraserBrown (mockery of efficiency) Solicitors with it in the morning – and make sure I get back quick for the Nottingham City Homes caller who’s coming to explain the storage heater system and controls for me.
Around midnight I saw some flashes coming in through the living room window (I must get some curtains sorted!). Went into the kitchen to have a look as I thought it might have been from the Fire Brigade attending an alarm again.
The winds had died down nicely and just the odd spot of rain on the kitchen window.
Went down to the Laundry-room and a machine was free, got me washing in and washing like.
It was a sad sight.
playground.
Instant lottery tickets at the cafe tables with their dogs tied to the chairs.
just knew.
Little Inchy was painful and bleeding again and the stomach rumbling once again, as I set off out of the flats and called at the Community shed with some more mail for Margaret the previous tenant.
Into Sherwood and the Co-op store. Bad news… they have stopped baking the Beetroot & Apple bread!
On up and down to the park gates, a few yards up the hilly footpath and I had to stop and put down me shopping to get me breath?
So when I got in I sorted me things into a big bag and stored it in the rubbish that needs sorting room (Bedroom).
Got it all done, and had two of me cheese cobs I’d got from the Co-op with it and a banana. Took me medications.
Me legs are still swollen and misshapen?
A nice cup of tea was presented to me and Fooey came out to seem for a bit of fuss.
Not many folk about in the slab square, the nosherys were not doing much trade. The Ice rink had a buxom well-built lass who worked in the rink, skating in short sleeves to show off her muscles and tattoos.
The food stall near the mini Helter-Skelter was giving off some nice smells, but no busy at all.
wandered down towards the L9 bus-stop, window shopping on the way.
Further on I espied some jewellery I thought might interest the gals on The Troll Free Zone.
Got to the bus stop and waited a good while for the bus to arrive, then we set off. As the bus passed by Clinton Street I took a photo down it.
Off into he night and walked back to Sherwood.
Made a cuppa and rewarmed me rather unattractive looking pie and beans, then while waiting, got the laptop on for updating this and took me medications.
lights outside, blue they were.
Symptoms: Being made redundant through no fault of your own, suicidal feelings, lack of food, and the disappearance of respect.
Symptoms: A snottiness and uncaring attitude develops that cannot be countered. The bank balance and overseas investment accounts increase exponentially.
Symptoms: Finding you have not got any alcoholic addictions, and the concern and worry you get about being so different to everyone else. A.A.D. syndrome is often claimed by alcoholics and West Ham fans for their failure.
Symptoms: It is extremely painful, nigh on impossible for you to repay money owed by you, forcing the sufferer to short change and overcharge whenever possible. Also builds an inbred hatred of Bank Managers, Loan companies and Old Age Pensioners.
Symptoms: A sudden realisation that all hope is lost, other than for the War Mongers, Politicians, bankers, Car Mechanics, David Cameron, Nigel Farage, Haliburton and other nepotistic clans.
Symptoms: You couldn’t give a toss about anyone else.
Symptoms: Sudden realisation that the poor are getting poorer, and the Rich are getting richer, and you are one of the poorer. Urges to dress up in fancy dress and join WordPress might affect them. Memory loss and bodily function controls are common amongst these syndrome sufferers.
Misty and raining heavily now – and I’ve got to walk to the GP surgery later, then go to the clinic to have me bumps and lumps checked.
Got an email from Sister Jane in reply to mine, Fooey is not doing very well and she is expecting the worst. Poor old Fooey, made me so sad. I asked if I could go up to see them, no reply yet.
Caught the bus into Mansfield just for the sake of it. Got some of me crossword book done e route.
Came out and took this rather sad photograph with the rain, closed down premises and lack of shoppers in the Mansfield City Centre.
Dropped off in Sherwood and an L8 came within minutes and lifted me up the hill to the flats.
Got me nosh ready, put me potatoes to bake in the oven, gave the 40 minutes then added the Cottage pie with sweet potatoes for 20 minutes, then popped me last Frikadellen in the oven with the others for ten minutes. The sweet potato-shepherds pie could have done with a bit more time, but I was so hungry I ate everything anyway. Added me carrots and peas from the saucepan, buttered, salted and peppered the baked spuds, added a sprinkling of vinegar and had a lemon yoghurt afterwards.
Off on the L9 into town.
The Christmas stalls were attracting the attention of the local ladies.
around the corner.
I must be feeling a bit better methinks, cause when I saw the sign hanging up on the stall that said ‘Olde English sausages – the noticed the Robirch Sausages bag they had just emptied onto the grill, I felt like telling them that Robirch sausages are Irish made, not English, mind you they are great tasting though.
Another Nottingham Pavement Cyclist nearly got me as I walked through town on me way to the Canal to feed me ducks.
A police officer got in with him?
Then poddled to the Heron Store and got some bread.
Got to the bridge and it was getting late, so I thought I’d drop the bread down off the bridge to the ducks.
I wandered back into town to catch me last L9 bus.
Plenty of traffic about as I approached the bus stop.
Got me nosh ready. Frikadellen, pulled pork balls, sweet potatoes in batter, beetroot in vin & orange, baby carrots and bread thins.
Sorted some more medication pots and added them to those in the drawer for later, to make room for the new packets bottle and tubes if they are ready when I check with the chemist.

