A Solicitor’s phone rings: “I want to speak to my lawyer.”
The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but he died last week.”
The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist answers, “I told you yesterday, he died last week.”
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer.
By this time the receptionist, getting a little annoyed says “I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?”
The bloke says, “Because I just love hearing you say that!”
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Sunday 20th December 2015
Up at 0615 hrs, late again for me.
Cleaned up the mess from me Whoopsidangleplop last night.
Nothing was found broken. Well, I don’t think so, I’ve not tried my headphones yet.Cuppa and took me medications.
Cuppa and took me medications.
To the bathroom to get the silly frilly knickers off and check out ‘Little Inchy’.
Only a few spots of blood this morning on me adult nappy! Hehe!
Laptop on and finished yesterday’s diary and started this one off.
Facebook and WordPress for a few hours.
Got myself cleaned up, (Put me usual undies on) got the bags for the rubbish chute and went out of the flat one my walk into Sherwood. The lady in the opposite apartment was coming out of her door and asked me if a mat that was in the entrance to the three flats
was mine. I said no, and she quizzed me as to she thought she’d seen in inside my door earlier? I showed her the mat that was inside the front door. I almost felt guilty such was her contempt. I think she felt guilty cause she helped me take me bags to the chute and rang for the lift for me bless her cotton socks.
Out and up the hill into Woodthorpe Grange Park.
I like watching the people with their dogs in the park.
The antics of some of the dogs always brings a smile to my face.
On down to Mansfield Road and left up 
the hill and down into Sherwood.
Called in the Co-op and had a good walk around, but they had nothing that I fancied or decent on offer.
Walked down to Wilko to see if they had those magical duster things on offer and they had, so I got one and some refills.
Out and back up to the hill.
The high winds were bothersome, although they were not cold with it.
To the left was the sunshine to the right threatening dark clouds?.
Over the brow of the hill and down and into the gate to the park and up the 
footpath.
As I entered, there were not people dogs or cyclist on the path.
Seconds later they all seemed to come from nowhere like.
The people and their dogs were not a problem of course, but the Pedestrian Path Cyclist nearly had me when he belted by from behind was.
The Swine!
To the top of the path and right down to the magnificent home of mine.
On the way, I saw a woman in the distance with one of those throw sticks and when she threw the ball for her black Labrador – he’d lumber after it, pick it up then drop it there and lay down waiting for her to catch up with him. Not that it mattered, they both seemed happy. Hehe!
Back in the flat and I put away my new duster and refill and nipped to the bathroom to check on ‘Little Inchy’s’ condition. No blood at all as I could see.
Got me spuds in the oven to roast, two frikadellen ready to add to them later. Then got this diary updated.
Did a bit and checked on my spuds. All okay, not ready yet to add me beef-cakes.
The rain started belting down.
Glad I missed it when I was out and about.
Thoughts about tomorrow and going into the hospital for ‘Little Inchy’ to be examined mused through my mind for a good while. Made sure I’d got my bag of things ready to take with me.
The nosh was ready, and I served it up. Possibly my best tasting one yet.
Enjoyed it, Frikadellen, roast potato cubes, caramelised sausage roll, and beetroot, with BBQ sauce, followed by a pot of mandarins in orange juice.
Rated this one 9.6/10.
Took me evening medications and got me Haematology record card in the coat pocket ready for tomorrow. Must remember to go to Queens Medical Centre for me INR Warfarin level Test first, then hopefully, I can catch the inter-hospital bus to the City Hospital then the GUM clinic in the grounds to have Little Inchy examined and find out if I am to stay in overnight or not.
Stayed awake to watch three episodes of Columbo on the box – well, 2.8 episodes, I fell asleep and missed the end of the third one. Tsk!
Washed the pots, WC’d and got back in the chair… Zzzz!