An old graphicalisationing masterpiece wot I found here.
Just thought some blogger or other might come up with a good comment or caption like? I fang you!
Month: January 2016
Inchcock Today Sat 30 Jan 16: Whoopsiedangleplop and the return of rumbling Innards!
I woke up in the chair I’d fell asleep in, the TV flickering away, and made a rather grave error! I felt the wind building up inside, and was so glad that constipation seemed to be easing off, and eased out a little wind, just to see if I could like: I could!
Then the uneasy feeling of being desperately in need of getting to the porcelain came. Despite Arthur Itis not liking it, I rose unsteadily and in haste to me feet – treading on the TV remote-control thingamajig as I hobble as quickly as I could manage to get to the WC.
Too late I’m afraid! I won’t go into any details of this incident, just let you all know it took me a good few minutes to sort out the resulting embarrassing Whoopsiedangleplop.
All cleaned and fresh again, I cleaned the bathroom and went into the kitchen to make a cuppa and get my medications. Luckily, I had two Loperamide Hydrochloride capsules from the last attack a couple of weeks ago.
I thought about having some porridge or cornflakes, but I decided not to.
I’ll have to try and get out today, despite the winds and rain that’s falling, and get some more in stock.
Into the living room with my cuppa and tablets to put the laptop on. The trodden-on TV remote on the floor, in two bent pieces, surrounded by glittering bits of exposed electronic stuff. It looked as if I’d bashed it with a hammer? Struth, I only stepped on it once? Hey-ho!
Got down and picked up the oddments the Hoover and brush wouldn’t get hold of, and collected all the bits. It took me awhile to get back up again mind.
Ten minutes later, it was back to the porcelain in another hurry. Made it okay, though.
Oh sorry, nearly forgot my Solicitor bashing joke of the day.
Finished and posted yesterday’s diary and started this one off.
Managed to finish off a graphic I’d been working on for ages for TFZ on Facebook. Didn’t know which final touches one to use:
Ended up posting the first one. I hope they like it.
Did some more work on CorelDraw. I spent three hours or so on this task, during which I had to have a wee-wee eight times and a sat-on-the-porcelain job one more.
Went onto Facebook and played for a bit. Hehe! Four hours!
Three more wee-wee trips, but no heavy duty visits again – mind you I haven’t eaten yet, what do I have that is the question.
Got me ablutions and shaving finished.
Decided to have a circular walk into Sherwood from the flats and back, to get the Diarrhoea tablets.
The winds were still somewhat bad, but not as bad as earlier I must say.
The wind from the innards was worrying just a bit; I was concerned I may not make it all the way back before things started bubbling and brewing again. Oh dear!
The feet were giving me some gip by the time I arrived in Sherwood. Called in the Co-op store. I purchased a TV paper, crispy bacon and the Classic Car Weekly. I get the Classic Car paper just to relive old memories of them.
When I paid, the lady gave me four bits of paper.
The standard till receipt, one telling me to swipe my Co-op card as I could be a winner, one coupon for 50p off. My next spend valid up to 6 February if I spend over£4. Then another voucher telling me I swiped and won! £5 off valid up to February.
I wobbled ungainly down Mansfield Road and as I passed by the hot food takeaway place started off the olfaction processes of my nose. It also brought hunger pains to mind.
I got in the queue in the shop, and the procrastination started to hassle me: Should I risk eating anything that might make my diarrhoea any worse? By the time I got to be served, I just got a small tray of lightly roasted potatoes that I could re-warm later.
Out and down the road, left up Winchester Street hill. Struggled with this to start with, but the gurgling from my innards seemed to boost my perambulation abilities, and I got a decent move on. Only up to the laundry where I was to turn left along Chestnut Way and the flats.
It was here (See red cross on the map above) that I realised I’d forgotten to get the tablets for my diarrhea.
What a plonker!
I pressed on and got in the flats, straight to the porcelain throne. Excellent timing!
I opened the potatoes and took out of the tray and into an oven dish ready to rewarm; Blimey the smell? It seemed to give off the scents of everything they sold in the shop? Curry, beef, chilli, fish, etc.?
I was not sure whether to risk eating them? Still, I put the in the oven with the BBQ sausages to warm through.
Updated this on the laptop, and then had a look and smell of the fodder in the oven tray, to test out if it was okay to eat.
I tried one of the potatoes, it seemed to taste good to me. Made the plate up it all looked fine.
The first slice of a sausage and eurgh!
Threw them all away, horrible they were. I checked the wrapper, and the sell-by-date was 8 Feb, so I don’t know what the problem was with them? Gone off getting any more now.
So I replaced them with the crispy bacon rashers and enjoyed the meal then.
The trips to the WC for a wee-wee started and stayed with me for most of the night. And yet, despite the rumbling innards, no calls to the throne.
Took my medications, and tried to settle down to watch the TV. I soon realised I had no remote thingummajig following my earlier Whoopsiedangleplop, to change channels, or even turn it on! And… I spent ages picking out what to watch in the TV magazine. Memory deficient Fool!
Unusually, there had been no nodding off today, but still I couldn’t get to sleep. I even managed to read several chapters of my book (Leningrad) before nodding off.
Blogger’s Marissa, Shirley and Mike’s Mystery Photographicalisation of Olde!
The Mystery Blogger’s Photographicalisation
The Moresome Marissa, Sexy Shirley, and of course, the Intrepid Mike,
But is it really them, although this depicts them looking very alike,
I suspect it was taken during Germany’s First Riech?
*****
Perhaps it’s possible, they’re their forebearers from long ago,
I’d love to find out all the history about it, you know,
The man looks not sloppy, more of a Tally-ho,
The lady in glasses looks tasty and desirable, though,
The lady on the right is showing a revealing err… a certain glow,
Were they early bloggers, will we never get to know?
*****
They look prosperous, affluent and well-to-do?
No doubt from upper-class backgrounds, it’s true,
Upper crust, superior, more distinction than me and you,
Mayhap, Royalty, no doubt a fortune they did each accrue!
*****
No doubt, in the three, this will invoke nostalgia,
Butlers, maids, open fires and doing the raffia?
Above the fire mantle, an elephant’s head or a Zulu spear?
Might they have owned newspapers, and other media?
On the other hand, they may have organised the Masons or Mafia!
*****
In the event that they did run the Mafia, I’d like to offer my sincere apologies and grovel in any unseemly and embarrassing way they see fit.
TFZer gals, performing with the Beach Boys?
Three beauties & the Beach Boys
TFZers Pat, Janet and Marie on stage.
Well, they were born for this!
XXXXX
Which one do you like bestest please?
Inchcock Today Fri 29 Jan 2016: Housebound Again. Huh!
How does an insomnia affected solicitor get to sleep?
He does nothing different; he lies on one side, and then lies on the other. While covering himself of course!
Friday 29th January 2016
Managed to get some kip in, a good straight five hours, at last!
The howling winds made sure I didn’t nod off again. They were so loud, even without my hearing aids in.
Made a cuppa, took the medications and got the laptop booted. Waited while the Windows updates were installed. Read a bit of my book, whistled, had a search for the still missing lottery ticket, went to the porcelain; No bleeding at all this morning. Not surprising really, this event reminded me of the Warfarin Blood Level results being so low. Made another cuppa, and the Windows updates had finished at last.
So I checked the email, to see if they had sent me instructions for the Enoxaparin injections. Nothing in yet.
Did a post on WordPress with a gallery of the TFZers English Country Garden graphics on it.
Blimey this wind up here is getting noisier and noisier. I feel sorry for the tenants with decent hearing. It’s blowing into the kitchen from the holes in the wall behind the cabinets something awful! The drawers and doors are opening on their own; the wind is that strong!
I hope it calms down soon, I don’t fancy having to go out in this howling gale at all. I’ll have to take a bagful of tinned food with me to stop me getting blown away. I thought of a funny at this stage. So I got Coreldraw opened and created this little bit of fun about the howling winds outside the block of flats.
Took me an hour or four to get it something like. I think I’m addicted. Hehe!
I checked the emails to see if the surgery had sent me an appointment for my enoxaparin injections. Apparently I’m at risk of DVT prophylaxis, whatever that is, I’ll have to look it up.
letJust before I logged off to have me shave with a razor and bath, I checked the emails again – good job too. The Surgery had sent me an email telling me, my appointment for the INR test was due yesterday! Which of course I had done.
They added another message, good job I scrolled down.
It is for Monday the 1st February.
Hey-ho!
Not going out in these winds today thank you very much.
When I’ve had me bath and ablutions, I’ll get the medication pots done up. Did you see that? Did you? I made a decision! Hehe!
No, no, changed my mind again. Tsk! I’m to do the tablets first.
Note the number of empty boxes and foil from the distributed medications?
And, how good I was not to make a mess either eh?
Awards and prizes for me being a good boy will be gratefully accepted. I fang you. Hehe!
Then I had an enjoyable bath and scrub-up.
Got me fodder ready. Curried baked beans, frankfurters and a bit of pork pie. Followed by a pot of ice-cream too! (Alright, two mini pots)
Thought I felt the stomach rumbling again… Yes, there she goes.
Three messy visits over the next few hours.visits
Then I had a dizzy spell, the first time in 5-6 days. Humph!
Ah well, at least, the constipations finished.
I thought I’d been doing okay lately too.
TSK!
How the Howling Winds affected Inchcock’s abode…
The Wind was howling this morning all around the apartment.
I had the idea for a funny about this to post.
Doctored a photo of the Woodthorpe Court flats, and set to work sorting out some suitably windswept people of varying types to add to it. I even found a wind affected shaggy-dog, and kitty to add to it.A few hours later and this was the resulting graphic.
A few hours later and this was the resulting graphic.
Then I tried adding a wind effect:
Next, a sepia effect, with a frame.
Finally, an aged photo effect.
I’m not sure, which one to use on Facebook today though?
Which would you choose, please?
TFZers in their English Country Gardens
Troll Free Zone
Where the ageing folk chat and linger,
Sometimes, even lifting a finger.
This Gallery is of their chance to show off their English Country Gardens
Pure Pulchritude!
Inchcock Today Thu 28 Jan 16: Warfarin INR level problems again… too low this time. Humph!
Q: When attorneys die, (I thought you might like to be cheered up) why do relatives try to have them buried 600 feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they are nice guys.
Thursday 28 January 2016
Horrible night, little sleep again, coughing, bleeding and cleaning it up regularly from all three orifices and the Reflux Valve playing up.
Still, yer don’t like to complain does yer?
I’ll mention it to the nurse, at today’s INR blood test.
The haemorrhoids had stopped bleeding when I visited the porcelain, the nose leaking just a tad, but soon stopped and Little Inchy needed de-matting. Tsk!
Made a cuppa and took the morning medications. I made sure the Haematology result log was in my pocket along with my bus-pass ready for later.
According to what happens at the blood test, and if they don’t send me to anywhere else to be checked over, I hope to go to Derby afterwards. The sole reason for the mission is to try and get some of the warm jammy bottoms that have a wee-wee hole in them. I can feed the ducks while I’m there too.
Had me frist shave with the electric shaver, I don’t like em, but needs must. I couldn’t work out how to get the thing to pieces to clean the blades? Laptop on posted Wednesday’s diary and started this one off.
Realised I had more time than I thought this morning, as the appointment for the Warfarin level test isn’t until 1145hrs. So that will give me time for a glorious soak in the bath. Of course, it is just the soak that will be glorious, the getting into and out of it, I anticipate being a touch painful as usual. The poor old devil!
Laptop on then posted Wednesday’s diary and started this one off.
Did a lot of these type of graphics, of the TFZ’ers in an English Country Garden
Did some graphicationalisationing on CorelDraw7.
I spent over five hours doing some graphics I had an idea for the TFZ gals and guys.
Just got them done (Unless I’ve got em wrong or missed one off – crossed fingers.
Had to rush about to get the stuff and myself ready for the walk to the surgery.
I set off on my walk into Carrington to the GP surgery.
The sun came out as I arrived half an hour later – there was not much more of this about later today.
Got in a shot of St John’s Church.
At the surgery, I realised I’d forgotten my crossword book. So I read the many notices on the wall while waiting to be called in for my INR Warfarin blood level test.
Anne, the nurse was very busy, so I didn’t keep her chin-wagging. I told her quickly of my taking the Senna. After she’d done me I gave her a bag of nibbles and shot off.
Straight to the bus stop and caught a bus into town.
I caught the round-about route bus to Derby, the Y5. Nice scenery en route.
Took about an hour get there. The rain held off, but it came over all dark.
I hobbled to the Primark store. Got a pack of the ‘Loose fitting underpants’ at only £4.50 for three pairs. I’d already bought some a week or two ago, but with the bleeding being bad, thought I might run out of clean pants your see.
I also bought some of the jammy-bottoms with a wee-wee hole in them, the last two pairs in the shop, the Nottingham branch had already sold out of them.
Made my way across and into the Eagle Centre and had a wander through the market. Didn’t buy anything.
I came out, it had been raining a bit while I was in the mall.
Walked to the riverside to feed the Ducks and pigeons. To my amazement there were few pigeons about – but plenty of Canada geese. How they manage to eat the little seeds with their big bills was a wonder.
As I tried to take more photographs further down the path, the camera seemed to have stopped functioning? I could not deduce what the reason for this failure was. Baulked and defeated, I decided to call at the Jessops shop where I bought the camera from and beg for help.
I caught the Derby Express bus back to Nottingham. It only took about half an hour. Mind you, I fell asleep about five times during the ephemeral journey.
I dropped off the bus on Upper Parliament Street and walked to the camera shop on Clinton Street. I had about thirty minutes before the last L9 bus left. They were not busy and a chap soon sorted the problem for me. Not that I understood what he said, but at least, I knew what to do if it occurred again.
There is a button on the back of the Lumix camera marked Fn2 – LVF? That is what I must have caught. If it happens again, scroll through until the screen shows again. I thanked him magnanimously and made my way back to the bus stop. As I did so, brother-in-law Pete rang me to say he’s just read in the evening paper that the Pensioners Free Bus pass will no longer apply to the Derby buses! Humph, blow and bother!
I took a couple of photo’s to try out the camera outside the shop. Getting dark now, and folks eagerly making their way home.
The much-loved Lumix camera was again in fine working form.
I caught the last L9 bus and had several battles against falling asleep on the way back to the flats. Again, mysteriously managing to wake up as the bus arrived at them. Thankfully!
I just made it to the porcelain in time. And am glad to proclaim that the haemorrhoids, Little Inchy and the teeth had all now stopped their bleeding. Deliriously happy about that I was!
I called Pete and we had a natter. He wants me to go and clear the clutter on his laptop. I said I would soon as I get time.Tonight 3.5 Friday 2.5 Sat 2.5 Sun 2.5 as today’s result was INR 1.5
Made a cuppa and got my laptop going to update the days scintillating dairy.
Got a call from the Haematology clinic about today’s INR test results. It is now too low! I have to go in tomorrow for an injection for blood-clot prevention. I can’t win, the INR level was almost spot on at 3.4 – a week late it was 5.1 far too high – they changed (Cut-down the Warfarin doses) and three days later (Today) it’s down to 1.4!
They gave me a few days doses to keep to: Tonight 3.5 tablets (I’d just taken two and a half as earlier told to, so took an extra one then), Friday 2.5 Sat 2.5 Sun 2.5 as today’s result was INR 1.4.
I’m all confused now. Hehe! That’s easily done nowadays mind you.
Blimey, the light in the living room is flickering and dipping now… Humph!
For some reason, I didn’t feel hungry? Not me at all that.
I’d decided to have a bath late, int the hopes it might get me some sleep in tonight, after the two bad nights I’ve had. A good idea I thought; I slipped getting into the bath and cracked my knee on the side of it.
Phewrt! Fed-up now!
Inchcock Today Wed 27 Jan 16: An eventful day, I must say!
Wednesday 27th January 2016
Woke up around 0300hrs with the headphones still on and I was hanging halfway out of the chair.
Struggled to get myself repositioned to get up on my feet, and a sudden urge to use the porcelain throne overcame me.
The bodily action performance was a lot easier. Perhaps the Senna medication was working now.
But the blood from the haemorrhoids was scary to say the least. Oh, dearie me yes!
I attempted to get back to kip, without much luck, managed about a two-minute spell.
Although I did have a dream in the few seconds, I did manage. Amazing how in such a short time, such a long dream could be had? The details did not stay with me, something where I was a teenager, and then in battle, then buried. Then I was swimming in blood; that wasn’t a good idea as I can’t swim in real life, but found this exhilarating for some reason.
I laughed out loud, then struggled to get to my feet again, cleared up the mess, then make another cuppa.
Then Anne Gina started to give me some grief.
The laptop on, I finished off Tuesday’s dairy and started this one off.
Checked the emails. Reminder from Morrisons that the order will be here twixt 8-9 o’clock today – Doctors Surgery confirming tomorrow’s appointment, Nine circular type can-I-sell-you something emails, a funny from Cyber-mate Andy but no reply from Steve Age UK about his coming to sort the problem out with the Solicitor and plumber for me.
I’m getting uptight about the non-action in this House selling department again.
Oh, I got my weekly Grammarly Summary too.
Ah-well!
It would help if I understood some of the terms used?
Squinting Modifier?
Gerund? To name just two. Oh, and passive ending to a sentence and unclear antecedent?
I look them up, and I can’t understand the descriptions. Thick pillock with bar, that’s me!
English was the only subject I got on with at school too. But it was given to my class by the Arts teacher Mr Simons. (Blimey, I can remember the names of some of the teachers now, but not the number of the bus I need to catch to get to the City Hospital?)
The main thing to learn at my school was physical survival. The interest of the teachers matched the interest of the pupils I’m afraid – Uninterested!
I nipped in the bathroom to have a wash, but no shave. I don’t want to use the razors while the INR level is so high and I’m already leaking blood from Little Inch and the haemorrhoids so much, I won’t risk cutting myself. This, of course, entailed me purchasing the electric shaver yesterday – the electric shaver that did not come with an adaptor so I could plug in it to use or charge it! Humph!
After the Morrisons shop gets delivered, I’ll have a hobble down into Sherwood and see if I can get one from Wilkinsons.
I was having a wash when the Morrisons chappie-fellow arrived dead on the dot at 0800hrs.
He was in a rush but found time to cram the stuff on my mobile trolley for me, before shooting off.
I finished my ablutions (No shave obviously). Put away the fodder that had been delivered.
Then I split the Village loaf of bread into three equal bags and put two in my shopping bag to take with me and drop off at the Winwood Community Shed for the coordinators.
Took the rubbish bags to the chute, and set off to the centre. Left the bread treats and set off up the footpath and up the hill into Woodthorpe Grange Park. Half way up, the howling winds were belting away, so I took a photograph trying to catch the trees in a bent position in the wind. But, the wind was swirling the trees too quickly.
Half way up, the howling winds were belting away, so I took a photograph trying to catch the trees in a bent position in the wind. But, the wind was swirling the trees too quickly.
The wind was not a cold one this morning, but the sun refused to come out at all.
Into the park and down to Mansfield Road, left up the hill into Sherwood, where the traffic was heavy, and I just missed being able to photograph some Sherwood Pavement Cyclist, they were too quick for me too!
I got into Wilkinsons shop and searched for the shaver adapters.
Again proving my worth as a shopaholic by purchasing more than I had planned to get.
Still, at least, I did get the adaptor.
I must stop doing this!
Walked down the hill because I could smell the aroma from the takeaway food outlet. They had some ready cooked shepherds pie I couldn’t resist, so I got one to warm up later back at the flat.
On the way back up the hill, I called in the Dentist, as I was not sure of the date of my next appointment and had not received any letter informing me.
I hobbled up the handily placed mountainous steps into the surgery, and as I approached the reception desk there was a large sign saying: “We no longer send out appointment reminders” Take Note! Failure to attend appointments will mean a £60 Fine.
The next sign to the right of it read; “We no longer supply NHS Cosmetic needs, they are now Private. Minimum Charge £6o.”
I was looking for the Arbeit Macht Free sign, but couldn’t see it? Hehe!
The lady receptionist told me to wait, as she finished something on her monitor, so I waited. (Well, I assume she was one) Told me to wait, as she finished something on her monitor, so I waited. I decided I needed to nice to this one, the cold eyes or was it the twisted sneer on her lips? I wasn’t sure, but he scared the hell out of me just looking at me!
As she finished whatever it was she was doing, her strong, steady voice barked out simply “Yes?”
I mumbled that I would like to check my next appointment date please – I forced a smile onto my trembling lips.
She spoke again; “Yes, wait!”
I waited.
The voice rang out again; “I print out for you… Yes!”
“Yes please, thank you…” I nervously replied.
She handed me an A4 print-out with a crisp stabbing arm.
I thanked her again and beat a hasty retreat. Not knowing if she’d issued any late demands or orders to me. But hoping she hadn’t.
I nearly fell the steps as I left the building, such was my desire to put as great a distance between me and the Obergruppenfurher receptionist as I could.
And just to think, I’ve got to go back for treatment on Tuesday 8th March at 1015hrs. Doesn’t bother me, though. 
Back up to the bus-stop in the hope that an L9 or 40 bus just might be due shortly to take me back up the hill to the flats – but no of course not. I’d missed the L9 by a few minutes, and the next one was due in over an hour.
I’d missed the L9 by a few minutes, and the next one was due in over an hour.
At the time, this irked me a bit, but when I carried on up and over the hill and into the Woodthorpe Park, I was glad a bus was not due. I met an old greyhound with his pet owner going up the footpath, another dog I fell in love with.
He was not a puss-pot but responded and wagged his tail when I made a fuss of him. His pet kindly allowed me to take a photo of them both. His name was either Yogi or Yoki. Amazing how my memory can fail in such a short time innit? Huh!
I pressed on and got back through the winds and into the flat again. The howling winds seem ever present today.
The first thing I noticed was the state of the bedroom, or rather things that need doing storage room. Haha!
As soon as the INR blood level gets back to normal, I might find time to get the four sets of four drawer storage cabinets out of their boxes and made use of? Maybe not, I expect the solicitor, the clinic or something else will me demanding my time again.
I put the bits away I’d purchased and got the new shaver charging as last.
It says on the micro printed 2 x 3.5-inch leaflet that came with the shaver, it’ll tale eight hours to charge.
I anticipate I’ll be asleep by then? But maybe not, knowing the trouble I’ve been having getting to nod off lately at night?
Twas then I spotted an intruder in the kitchen!
This ‘appearance of the flies’ often happens in the kitchen for some reason.
Occasionally it is one odd meat-fly, often a few of them.
BJ reckons it is when one of the other tenants snuffs it and know one notices until all the nearby flats get the meat flies? He’s always trying to cheer me up is my mate BJ.
The weather turned threatening – and the rain started a few minute after I took this photograph.
Got the laptop going and updated this diary.
Got the nosh going – Shepherds pie in the oven with some chips and a beef pastry adding some potato cakes later if I remember to. Tsk!
Did some cleaning in the bathroom.
Got the marvellous fodder ready, and demolished it in short time.
Then had a mini pot of ice cream. Rated this meal as 9.64/10
Steve Age UK rang the intercom button and came up with two bills for me to pay. That was kind of him. Hehe!
£60 for the plumber who had turned off the water in the central heating at the old house, and one from the Plumber who came to mend the boiler but couldn’t? Call out fee I suppose that one was.
We had a natter and a cuppa, and he was off.
Two letters had been delivered, one a questionnaire from Nottingham City Homes the other the last INR Warfarin blood level results. Gone up to 5.9 now? Going in tomorrow for another test at 1115hrs at the surgery.
Checked the battery on charge in the new shaver, not ready yet.
Laptop on to update this diary.
Did some Facebooking.
Had a horrible time trying to get to sleep, Tsk!
Haunting Inchcock Returns… Dang dang dang dang!
Inchy checked out the other day,
But this is only what Danny Soz does say,
We’ve lost the pillock, and I say here today,
He said he’d be back to me last Wednesday,
The money he owed me he never did repay,
He’ll be up in the heaven sat at a cafe,
Aiming the bird-muck down on a pavement cyclist every day!
Can you tell what he’s trying to say?
