Inchcock Today: Sun 10 Jan15: Down a bit

Not a good day, humph!

****************** 

Sunday 10th January 2016

Dreams like never before, none of them made the least sense or seemed to have any connection with life as it is, or was? I was in a coffin with an old Atari ST computer at one time, winding up a generator for light and heat? Then I was picking maggots out my rotting leg and eating them?

Woke as fully depressed as I have for years now – self-pity and fear seemed to have taken over my psyche this morning. 

Add to that the bleeding from the rear and Little Inchy had started again.

Anne Gina was giving me far too much jip. So much, I took my last under-tongue lozenge.

The ulcer joined in attacking me with venom. Only Arthur Itis was going easy on me this morning.

Stiffness and aching in the elbow and hand joints were bothersome, something new this.

I feel so different to yesterday morning when I woke with hope and faith things were going better for me… Foolish me!

I made a cuppa and took my medications.

Unable it seems to free myself from the worry and fretting over the turn of events with the FraserBrown demands, and how to get things sorted and help.

I finished the last diary and started this one.

Feeling morose and not being able to shake it off.

To be honest, I’m a bag of nerves. Twitching, fretting and nervous about and at, anything today.

I’ll try to have a bath later. Sort out blood matted Little Inchy and the haemorrhoids. Try to shake me out of this mean spirit level draining lethargy.

I did some Facebooking on the Troll Free Zone. May nice comments received from the members. I’m afraid I felt a little less enthusiastic than normal. Due to the solicitors demands, questionnaires and jobs I have to sort and get done on the old house – no idea what or how to do any of them, can’t hear folk on the phone, or understand some of the questions from the buyers solicitor. Only Steve Age UK can help, and he won’t get my email requesting support until Monday, if then. I’m depressed.

P1020835Had a good soak in the bath and readied the washing for the laundry room.

Took the rubbish bags and threw them down the chute on the way.

Did my crossword book while I was waiting in the lobby.

Went in to swap the clothes into the dryer.

P1020834A bloke kept hauling some stuff outside from one of the flats.

The frail lady told me later; they were going to live in Scotland.

When the dryer got going, I departed and had a walk up through Woodthorpe Park and down into Sherwood, to get some bits of fodder.

P1020836Not that I needed any, but when I feel down, I tend to shop a lot!

The trees on the way up the path looked picturesque despite their lack of colour.

Once at the top of the hill and part way down the footpath, I took a photo of the landscape to the North, across the field.

P1020837The shadows produced a rather naughty looking shape on the grass. Hehe!

There were not many doggies being walked today.

Mind you, it was very cold despite the sunshine.

Called in the Co-op store and bought a paper, Meat and potato pie and some milk.

P1020838 P1020839Made my way back up and over the hill and down to the gates into the Woodthorpe Grange Park and up the footpath.

A lot more people in the park on y way back.

There was a pavement cyclist; well, footpath cyclist zooming down the incline as I walked up it.

Swine!

Plenty more dogs with their tails wagging for me to enjoy watching.

To the top and right down the gravel footpath and back to the apartments.

P1020840The frail lady from the 11th floor was having a sit in the foyer.

I gave her some nibbles and asked her to smile for her photo bless her.

The dryer finished shortly, and I got me clothes folded in the bag.

As I started up the lift to the flat, the current frustrations came back into my mind, and gloom descended on me.

Got some nosh ready. Didn’t feel much like eating though, so only had a little meal.

Put the togs away, and washed the pots.

I felt like a cloud was following me around.

Ordered some drawers from Wilko to be delivered Tuesday, and some stuff from Morrison’s for tomorrow.

Fell asleep woke up took my medications and flaked out again.

Glad to give my mind a rest from the fretting while I slept.

Feeling drained and haggard each of the many times I sprang awake.

Inchcock Today: Sat 9 Jan 2016: It started so well – ended with me disconsolate downhearted and depressed… badly depressed.

01W01

****************** 

Saturday 9th January 2016

Despite all the jumping awake I did, I must have gotten a good six hours kip in last night!

That is not the only pleasant surprise this morning either:

  1. To the bathroom to find, although stinging a bit, Little Inchy had not bled at all!
  2. The haemorrhoids were not bleeding at all!
  3. Found some notes I’d written on my pad about a dream, and I could read some of my writing!
  4. I stubbed my toes on the pedestal and unbelievably felt no pain? This one confused me a lot.

Made a cuppa and took my medications.

It was good to remember and have notes of a dream to record.

The Dream: I got a job in a massive sprawling factory and had to find the manager on my first day. The place was a mishmash of machines all type of tools. Some of them that I worked on years ago when I worked at Carters pop factory. I could smell the place I’m sure.

I walked through the different machine rooms asking everyone if they could point me to where he (The boss) was. Each bloke pointed to a different place or area or building.

I think I had to see him at 0600hrs to start work, and it was now dinnertime and the men broke off for lunch.

I wandered around the now-empty factory in search of the boss.

Climbed ladders, down stairways, in through doors and machinery without any luck for hours it seemed. I recalled thinking how long their dinner break was?

I came across a bloke under a machine working away whistling and asked him where the boss was. He climbed out from under the Doboy machine, looked around and swore, cursing his mates not telling him lunchtime had started? He pointed to a trap door in the floor, and told me to jump into it; that takes me to the bosses office?

So I thanked him and opened the trapdoor. Down I dived.

Suddenly I was in the countryside, the beautiful countryside too. Rolling hills, fantastic greenery and trees.

I spotted a large group of men walking on the dangerous narrow footpath on the outside of a hill come mountain. I don’t know how, but I was suddenly at their side on the path high up in the sky. The man looked like Michael Elphick from the Boon TV series. He was sending one of the blokes to fetch his spanner to him from the factory. When I introduced myself he gruffly said; “Okay you can fetch it mush. It’s in the top office, and don’t dawdle about!”.

Instantly I was back in the factory complex. Can’t recall all that happened but I did find the office after much hassle and annoyances. It was at the top of a winding wooden staircase they told me. But on and on I went up the stairs without finding it?

The note I’d written had the following written on them that I cannot decipher. “Woman, surprise – happy”? Damned memory won’t let me recall what this was about. Tsk!

Damned memory won’t let me recall what this was about. Tsk!

I wish I knew a dream-reader.

IMG_0007Then did some Facebooking for a good while.

The winds had dropped, and the rain stopped.

Did some graphic work, and began to sing to myself?

Cleaned the kitchen floor.

Cleaned the kitchen floor. Still humming away, merrily to myself. Worrying this, it is usually a portent of hassle and bother me being content.

A letter came through the box after I’d finished.

IMG_0008Guess what? It was from the solicitors. Every letter I’ve had from them, and there have been many; all arrived on Saturday same as this one did; Just when I cannot contact anyone for help and assistance. Huh!

Eight questions to answer in reply to the buyers concerns? A questionnaire on Light Fittings, eleven responses needed.

A questionnaire on Light Fittings, eleven answers needed.

A questionnaire on fitted units with twelve bits to fill in about them.

A questionnaire about outdoor areas with twelve muti-answer questions.

I’m not singing anymore.

I Emailed Steve Age UK begging for help on this problem.

Why all these queries now? Are FraserBrown drawing things out on purpose to get more cash? I’m genuinely worried now that the deal may not go through!

Ruined the weekend now. Crapola!

Every time I get feeling in better spirits something comes to knock me down into worry and frustration again.

I was going to tell you about the wonderful last words of Gregory Камеры, a convicted Russian serial murderer.

But I’ve lost interest now this hassle has appeared.

I also emailed Sister Jane and told her. Which I shouldn’t have done really.

Depression took over; self-pity lurked, and I sat doing nothing but wanting to stop my mind battling with itself over the new problems.

Steve will not get the email until Monday, and how long it will take him to reply and find time to get to see me is anyone’s guess.

Moross and morbid now, I do so hate feeling like this.