Memory blanks

Inchcock Today: Diary Sunday 3rd April 2020

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

Sunday 3rd April 2020

Inchcock’s Morning Thoughts – In Ode

Hospitals say I’ve got deficiencies, to see an immunopathologist,
Although the second letter used the word, aetiologist…
I’m supposing there’s something here that I missed?
With the eye problems and my being deaf, words vanish…
Confusion, and muddleheadedness, are never vanquished!
Now, with life about to be ended, finally extinguished…

I can’t really say that life is about to be finished…
I’m still waiting for it to start; my hopes diminished…
I could do with my brain rebooted or refurbished…
So long ago now, my confidence vanished,
Never to return or to be re-established,
All through school, at the bottom, I languished…
My hopes and plans that I once so cherished…
Remain vaguely in memory, but they’ve been so malnourished!

——————————————–

03:30hrs: I jumped awake, thinking; I think out loud, “Huh, sod it!” Not a regular awakening tone at all. But I stirred in a mood that is hard to explain… I don’t believe that I was depressed as such. Resigned to loneliness, failure, and ready for whatever fate will befall me… nay, I was expecting it to! Yes, a resignation reigned… not with imperturbability, rather hang-dogged self-annoying deference, acquiescence, almost docility… submission to whatever fate is to bring to me…

Blimey, that read as a bit deep when I read it back? Did I write that?

As I was hauling my elephantine-stomached body from the c1966 recliner, I diverted to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket).

The evacuation was a reversal of those of the last three days. Gone were the torrents and splash-backing, to be replaced with pathetic, painful, having to be forced tinkling… and yet a wide spray was produced!

To my benefit, for the first time in a few days, Little Inchies Fungal Lesion had not been bleeding! Emptied, cleaned and disinfected the bucket. Made a brew of JS Extra Strong tea and got onto the computer.

Which initially prevented me from loading the photographs yet again. It must have cost me two hours to get it to accept them! Bet it’ll be a kerfuffle trying to get some on later! I just wish I knew how I’d done it.

I went to make a Glengettie brew, and I did my bestest to get some shots of the twinkling lights of the early morning view from the kitchenette. But none of the three images looked right to me.

I found this confusing. Bearing in mind my eyes cataracts, glaucoma and saccades, how come I saw the view better than the Canon camera did? Or am I missing something thanks to Doreen here?

This last one was so pretty with no clouds on the horizon, and the lights were not strong enough to bother Cataract Kathleen. Yet they didn’t show up well at all?

I got the photos on the computer, and I started prepping Josies’ meal. Got some potatoes cubed and opened the tin of peas ready in advance. Too early to put any heat on. Just in case I forget.

Back to the computer, and I got this from last night on here. It was much better tasting than I thought it might be for a vegetarian nosh. Taste Rating: 8/10! Better late than never.

Did some Faffling about on the computer for an hour or two. Went to make another brew, Thompsons Punjana; this time, I’ve not had any for a while.

I got Josie’s saucepan on low heat and stirred in the sliced water chestnuts. Got out more things that would be needed for the meal and put the teats all together in the fridge so I’d hopefully not forget anything when it came to putting my toque on. Haha! Cleaned the mess I’d made in the kitchen and went back to the computer…

It’s flabbergasting how little progress I’m made with the blog updating after several hours.

Herbert launched into his weekend symphony of clattering s and banging. And I was summoned to the wet room…

Blimus! It was easier than yesterday! No joking, although I did find it humorous what took place. The innards indicated that the evacuation was going to take a while, and the torpedo was going to be a hard one.

Got the crossword book out and got into it on puzzle 122. There were just two more clues to do… and I got one of them, and being as I’d been failing to finish this one. Huh!

I cheated on the last one, making cheats for this grid only two! Then it dawned on me that the evacuation was all done! I was so deep into the puzzling and didn’t realise! No pain, no blood either! Washed up, got a new jumper on, and felt boosted by that evacuations. I’m surprised, of course, but I think finishing crossword number 122 after several months helped. Hahaha!

The Carer arrived and got me sorted out. Finally, I got the Ode blog posted, then the Diary one.

Today the Blood Pressure SYS was still high, but far less than yesterday. The Pulse was okay. Also, the DIA was down too.

My body temperature was much higher at last, at 34.9°c. Good!

Did Facebooking, WP Comments. WP Reader. Then searched for copy & paste icons but found none I wanted.

Went to make Josie’s nosh served up and sorted on the tray. The kitchen clock told me I needed to get a move on to be done in time.

My wristwatch told me I had plenty of time. I checked on the computer. The kitchen clock had gained fifteen minutes?

Mr Pleasantness is giving it some hammer today.

The computer card reader is not working at all now. This could be the end of photographing for poor, sad, Inchcock on this computer?

Evening Carer arrived, Anne or Ann. Lovely lady.

Sweet Morpheus denied me nodding off for hours. Humph!

Darned Sundays!

Inchcock Today: Saturday 2nd April 2022

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

02:30hrs: I burst into wakefulness with one heck of a jump. Tired as I was, I could feel the shakes coming via the Peripheral Neuropathy in the feet and toes. There was no pain with them, just an odd, weird sensation of ultra-strong tingling. That would undoubtedly be the neurotransmitter’s nerve-ends trying to get a message to the brain but failing. There is a chance that of they succeed later, the pain will then be felt then. This had happened before many times. Hahaha! I nodded and woke repeatedly; it seemed like every ten minutes to me.

Hehe! 03:35hrs: I was reluctant to get up again… but the need for a wee-wee forced me into action. I disentangled my flobby-bellied body from the second-hand, c1966 recliner! I caught my balance and wobbled over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) and got a surprise. The evacuation was short but relatively intense. What caught me out was the amount of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling). I must have been standing there for some minutes, waiting for the PMAD to stop. It must have been three times the amount of that the wee-weeing passed? With the gentle encouragement, I was giving to urge things along. Unfortunately, Little Inchies Fungal Lesion started bleeding! You didn’t need to know that did you? Sorry!

Made a Brew of Glengettie, had another PMAD ridden wee-wee, washed and got on the computer. I found this shot of last night’s incredible short sunset. I tried to load the photos, and the reader let me!

Then, I went onto the WordPress comments section. Next, the WP Reader, not many new posts on?

05:15hrs: Off to the wet room. What a magical, smooth, almost pain-free, clean evacuation that was! I’ve not had such a pleasant movement for months! Grrreat! It may sound an odd thing to say, but it was a genuine relief and pleasure!

Celebrated with another mug of tea and went back to the computer. To update, post the Friday blog, which didn’t take long with no photos to use. Grumph! But a least I got a few on of today. Phew!

Made a start on this blog. Had to stop due to Dementia Doreen and me, forgetting we’d not done the health Checks – So we did them!

Started with the Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer. Try saying that when you’ve had a few! Hahaha! Even closer to the target figure of 35°c this time, Good!

Then the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, which was made by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China.

This one was not such a good result; the blood pressure was a smidge high again. Well, a fair bit high, really, methinks.

The Pulse at 77 bpm wasn’t bad at all.

The site said mine should be 74 to 102 beats per minute, which was a good result.

Herbert kept me aware of his presence throughout the morning. I suppose the odd thud, clunk and tap-tapping, so I don’t get bored. Hehe! His better points are his being standoffish, antisocial, smarmy, and ignoring greetings when one says, Hello, or are you keeping well?

I took a shot of red-van-man’s parking on Chestnut Way, broom the balcony. Brr! I took it through the glass, as it was pretty nippy out there now.

I made a start on this blog, and within minutes the Morrison Delivery arrived. Left the parcels in the doorway for me, and off they trotted.

As I was about to take the parcels through to the kitchenette…

The morning carer arrived, the first time she’s been to do me. She helped me move the packages into the kitchen. A professional carer. Name of Ann, or Anne. She got the medicines’ doses sorted correctly, and although she was just starting her shift (I asked), Anne gave me a couple of minutes to chinwag. ♥.

I got the barfs opened and sorted out the many items I’d purchased. Two things were unavailable, the text message said, but I didn’t know what they were. Found out later it was drink treats and cakes, so no bother over that, then.

The Lacto-free whole milk, jelly and custard pots and mini ice-cream suckers were put away in the fridge and freezer. Note that they delivered some potatoes and leek stew packs – they will be consumed this evening, I hopeth. I cut up some more potatoes to be added then to the leeks. A drop of soy, Worcester sauce and some Bisto. I’m planning to add a can of peas later on. The bottled mineral water, orange jellies, liquid soap, bleach, crispy fried onions, and Germolene were put away. As for the tomatoes, they were found to be Spanish, so I’m not too hopeful about putting them in the leek and potatoes… they are bound to taste bitter. Then I took the waste from the delivery and prepping out to the rubbish shute in the lift lobby. No injuries to report!

Got back on with updating this blog, and Sister Jane rang me. We had a good chinwag, which I enjoyed muchly. Then I got the pots and leeks with seasoning into the large pan.

Back on the computer to work on this blog. Oh, I am good! Well, pretty fair… not too bad. Crap really!

Cleaned the kitchenette surfaces, and made a mug of Co-op 99 tea.

I looked up at the wonderfully fresh-looking clouds in the sky. And had a few minutes of pareidoliaing. I saw an animal head in the first shot, I forgot what I saw in the second, Tsk! And two animals in the third photographicalisation.

I can only find the top one at the moment, though.

An hour or so later, I checked on the potato & leeks concoction. Had a taste, and thought it was coming along nicely. Still got to add the peas later, and am doubtful about putting the Spanish tomatoes in… Ah, I’ll go and have a taste of one, then I’ll know if they are worth the bother tastewise. Back in a bit…

I’m back. They’ll do. I added the peas and sliced some tomatoes into the mix.

SD Reader not working again. But Herbert was, clank, thud, tap-tap, thud.

The evening carer arrived, I’d just fallen asleep watching some rubbish on the TV. There is a film on later, the odds of my staying awake are minimal. (I hope). A good job she came, cause I’d left the leek and potatoes on the heat, cooking.

Tablets, injections, and medicines were soon sorted. No treat accepted, and off the Carer went, taking the black bag to the chute for me, bless her.

Got the nosh sorted and consumed. Took a photo of the evening sunset such as it was. Can’t get them on the system yet, I’ll try again in the morning.

TTFN.

Inchcock Today: Inchcock Today Diary – Tuesday 29th March 2022

/ Inchie / 12 Comments

Inchcock Today: Diary Tuesday 29th March

05:35hrs: Woke to pea-souper fog.

I dragged my not-slept-much body from the clutches of the second-hand, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, £300, c1968,  tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. Then went to make a brew of J Sainsbury Extra Strong tea and drank it pretty quickly cause the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived.

So, off to the wet room come WC I went. And the evacuation operation was positively under the influence of Constipation Conrad!

So, out came the crossword book. As I awaited some movement from the rear end, I studied the clues, determined to do better than yesterday’s solution-finding of only two! There was no rush, so I looked at the options for a good ten minutes. Then the activity started… and stopped a minute later – solidly refusing to recommence again! Which gave me another ten minutes or so of puzzle-solving. Well, that’s not strictly true… I didn’t get one answer! But I persevered, with an unnatural desire to succeed.

As you can see in the second photo, I made no, zilch progress. Which was annoying. Haha!

I went back to the kitchen and sorted out the spring water bottles. Opened the fridge door to find that I’d already done them last night. Dementia Doreen again!

The wee-weeing started and was pretty persistent again throughout the day. I made a brew and got the computer to update Monday’s blog.

Carer Richard arrived. He was looking a little better than yesterday; bless him. We had a good nattering session; things of old we had in common were the theme. I could see he was ready for his bed and appreciated the chinwag but cut it short to let him get home to his medicines and, above all, bed. Bade him farewell, and he took the waste bags to the chute for me. Hope he’s not coming down with anything. He’s got enough already.

By the time I got around to doing this post, I could see clearly the writing on the reminder pad – Consip victory! I’ve not got the foggiest of what it meant! Sad, innit? Hahaha!

I got on the computer again, finished updating, and sent the blog to WordPress.

This morning, jolly good figures from the sphygmomanometer, even though it was nearly midday by now. Gosh, the day is flashing by! Even the body temperature had risen again… bot by a lot, but that’s two days on the up. Things might be getting better? No, I am a fool!

I spent the next four hours on the computer, making mayhaps my biggest cock-up of the year!

I’d started doing a Local News Snippets one for tomorrow! Pillock! And had not finished and posted the Monday one yet!

Then, after updating and sending off the Monday post to WordPress…

Instead of starting this blog, I began doing an Ode blog!!! Gawd or Mighty, I’m Going Potty!

The mind was so puddled. I stopped and went to make a brew of Glengettie tea.

Filled the kettle but did not turn on the heat!!! Argh!

I took these two photographs of the evening sky. There is no sunsetting to speak of, but I still found them beautiful, Mother Nature at her finest. I appreciate There’s something special about the skies, not as much as a good natter. Hehe!

I’d made a start on two blogs now! Neither one finished. And had to get this one started then! Dumbo!

I had a call from Meridian saying the evening carer would be late. They already were. I told them no bother, not to worry. Which was true!

I put some potatoes in the oven and added a pastie later, peas in the pan.

I got on with starting this blog. The evening carer arrived later, apologising. But there was no need; I appreciated that she was in a rush but still found time for a bit of chinwag. 💙

I made some progress with this blog, but it was so late, and tiredness overcame me and my hunger.

I’ll have to finish this in the morning. I’ll get the jammies on and nosh served up now. TTFN.

Wednesday morning update:

I was up until gone midnight again.

Made a well-overcooked meal. But it went down nicely, all the same, despite fighting to keep awake while eating it. Tsk!

The darned Thought-Storms raged again when I washed the pots and got into the c1968 second-hand, E-plan recliner.

Gragnangles!

Inchcock Today: Monday 28th March 2022

/ Inchie / 3 Comments

MONDAY 28th MARCH 2022

In Brief & Ode

Problems a few, well, really quite a load…
Accifauxpas, bleeding, no real Smug-Mode…
Noisy Herbert, getting on my goad…
Memory blanks, mistakes made? A shitload!
I had to look up my own postcode!
The Thought-Storms constantly flowed…
Wee-weeing? The bucket nearly overflowed!
Stabbed myself with a toothbrush up my nose,
Will it get worse, discommode? Nobody knows…
What evils and stupidity Satan may bestow?
I’ll have a mug of tea and a marshmallow!

Haveth a great day!

05:30hrs, the usual jumping awake, with a verbal “Uhrge!” arrived. I pondered a few seconds to check on the time, day and need to activate the brain to join the body into some form of starting.

My hazy and befuddled brain sorted itself out in a fashion, and I decided to get the sphygmomanometerisationing done first thing. The grey plastic was half-filled before I started this slash. By the time I’d escaped the c1966 recliner, the need for a wee-wee had developed. And the urine flowed and splashed at a rate and pace never known before! How I held onto the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), I don’t know. But obviously, I had been wee-weeing throughout the night.

I still can’t work out how someone in my condition can free themselves from the recliner, take the few paces to the bucket, pass water (ferociously!) and get back down again… even once, and yet, not know he’s done it; when he wakes up? Someone must understand this. A psychologist or somebody? Which followed nearly every one of the wee-wees that followed today, and there were dozens of them! No wonder I can feel the dampness in the protection pants of the damned PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

There was much handling of things in washing and cleaning; poor Little Inchies’ fungal lesion started bleeding again later on. Humph!

I finally got around to taking the Blood Pressure. A fine set of figures they were too! SIA 144, DIA 48 and Pulse at 72… No, hang on. The DIA’s a good bit low… I’ll check it out.

No, that’s not too bad, only just in the red area anyway. For some reason, the low DIA brought it up overall a smidgeon. I’ve had it a lot worse than that. Last week one day, it was Sys 171, so I’m not fretting.

I used my Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer. The result was a bit higher this time, almost on the target figure of 35!

All went well, apart from the teeth cleaning, which was bloody. Thanks to ailment number eleven, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley. As it did two days ago when she made me drop the mug of Glengettie, her timing was cruelly well-timed. I was about to put the brush in my mouth, and she struck! Despite it being the brush end than entered my nasal channel, it was so fierce that it brought blood. However, it could have been worse, and I soon dried it up. A bit sore now, though, Hehehe!

I started updating yesterday’s blog, and Carer Richard arrived. The poor lad didn’t look too good; he was obviously weary, worn out, tired at the end of his shift. I brought him around a smidgeon with some nattering and a laugh or two, as much as was possible. I think his blood count was low. He said on leaving, he’s going to take his own medicines and get his head down as soon as he gets home. He still had a chinwag, though; I appreciated that from the man. Bade him good luck and health as he left, taking the taste bags with him for me to the chute.

I then spent hours trying to get the Card Reader to work to get the photos on the computer. I was at the limit of my patience and know-how of what else I could try… and wallah! The card suddenly returned to working mode? Although there have been odd, weird times when it tells me the reader is not recognised. So frustrating, I lost hours on the day messing about, turning everything off and back on, the card in and out of the slot… swearing, and at one point, I almost cried!

Eventually, I got the blog finished and posted it off to WordPress. Thank heavens for that!

Time for a mug of Glengettie!

I took these photographs of the view from the kitchenette window. The first one to the left (South), the second down almost straight ahead (East), finally one to the right (North)

I pressed on with starting this blog going. It was concentrating mind…

My sociable, kind, understanding, compassionate, snotty-nosed neighbour above started his clunking, banging noises with some venom. I think he’s realised he was not so bad yesterday and is making up for it?

I stopped to make a brew of Glengettie, wrapping the tea bag up and placing it in the small waste bag; this is what I saw (on the right here). My initial reaction was… Argh! Another Boll Weevil! Oh dearie me! Out came the sprays, and the kitchen got a good covering in all corners and every hidey-hole or corner that I could get at!

I got what I thought was the offending animal out of the bag – but I could not see if it was a weevil or something else, thanks to Cataracts Kathleen, Glaucoma Gladys and Saccades Sandra.

Well, well, well! Another cock-up made yesterday, discovered! Tsk! I looked at the watch, then the clock. A difference in time showing? I’d forgotten to put the clock forwards with all the others, but a true Masterstroke-Whoopsiedangleplop with the new square, easier-to-see wristwatch! I’d put that backwards instead of forwards!!! Humph! It took me a while to work out what time it was now! So, I now have no idea when I got up this morning.

The sky turned into a bright blue; I’m glad I caught it with the Canon cause minutes later, it had turned back into a bright pale blue shade. It turned out to be a decent effort, I thought for once.

I took a photograph of the Chestnut Way end car park. It appears that the Red Van Man has not used his vehicle since yesterday. Hope he’s not poorly. Time to get some fodder organised.

The evening carer arrived and soon had the medicationalisationing sorted out. Took the waste bag with her to the chute for me on her way out.

I took an easy option tonight. Cooked some mushrooms with balsamic vinegar, squid sauce and chillies powder. (Not as ad as it sounds as it turned out, Hehe!) I sliced some lovely yellow tomatoes and forced myself to cut up some of the sickeningly bitter, foul-tasting Moroccan red tomatoes. Added the last of the ‘Batter bits’, a small apple and a banana. A Lemon and Lime M&S yoghourt that needed a mortgage to buy. And tucked into the feast… Oh, and of course, with the two hot dogs with BBQ sauce added. Flavour rating 7.2/10.

I went to Washed the pots, then me, Putting the trousers back on afterwards by mistake for the jammie bottoms! Tsk! Then settled to watch my favourite TV show, ‘Heartbeat’.

I couldn’t enjoy the programme properly, cause Colin Cramps visited my left hand and fingers. Never known him to be so painful and persistent!

Unbelievably, Colin Cramps stopped tormenting me the very moment that the end credits rolled for ‘Heartbeat’. Ah, well!

I rose for a wee-wee, and boy, had I taken some over the day! On the bright side, Little Inchies lesion was not bleeding. Check the taps (faucets) and electrics, and I got down in the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner.

The Thought-Storms kicked off straight away. They dragged things from over sixty-plus years ago; my errors, bad choices, failures… on and on, they kept coming! Some I had actually forgotten about altogether… they had to be mused over. I’ve no idea why; it only made me more depressed.

Out of desperation for sleep and to escape the storming, I turned the TV back on. Which worked… but at the same time, Colin Cramps attacked again in the same hand!

I think it was gone midnight again before I managed to nod off. Well, that’s not exactly right. I realised I’d not taken the Hemp capsule again! I nodded off many times, but only for a minute, then I’d shoot awake again.

At least the Thought Storms had given up on me, only to be replaced with Self-Hating-Harvey. I suppose that Dementia Doreen is at the route of things…

Inchcock Today: Cock-Ups Supreme! Sat 27th Mar 22

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

Due to the cock-ups – mishaps, Failing to change the clocks, Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpa and two tumbles; This may be a little shorter, less detailed than I would have liked. On the other hand, I might stay up late and do better… I did! Sorry.

05:30hrs (Well, I thought it was at the time): I stirred back into a pretend-life after a terrible night of shooting awakes. Yes, I’d forgotten to retake the Hemp capsule last night!

However, I wasn’t in bad nick after working out the time (Wrongly at it happens then), rose up, caught my balance, grabbed Metal Mickey, and meandered slowly into the kitchenette to put the kettle on. Not easy for me nowadays, with foolishly choosing which one to use does not come easily for me. I decided not to make one yet and get the ablutionalisationing done instead. But needs meant a slight alteration of plans…

Well, it went pretty well! An excellent start to the days’ activities. There is no bleeding, not too much-forcing things to kick-off moving, and minimal pain. It was one of the easiest evacuations for a while. Just a little Dizzy Dennis visit as I was rising from the Throne. Fetched the togs and towel into the wet room and stripped ready for a stand-up wash, shave, teggies, etc. It was too early to use the shower yet, for fear of disturbing other tenants with the noise of the shower unit.

Oh, the ankles were looking a little weather-beaten on both legs. Well, they would be on the legs, I suppose… Hahaha! Fool! The colouring of the tootsies changed from undressing, showering and putting the socks on. (See photos on the left)

This morning, cleaning the teeth was not easy due to the broken tooth hurting when the brush touched around the molar area. I gave them a lighter cleaning. Still, it’s been worse. Then on to the danger zone, the shaving! I lathered up well, checked the blades were still sharp and started…

It may surprise you, it did me… not a single cut! Got the body scrubbing done without anything untoward occurring and then washed the delicate areas.

Bit of bad news here, Little Inchies Fungal Lesion had been bleeding, so a painful experience had to be endured. This month, the Daktacort ointment had been swapped for a new one on the prescriptions. So, never having used this brand before, I gritted my teeth and agonisingly (Phimosis) made room for the ointment to be smoothed into the wound…

Grrreat! Despite things going so well! There was no stinging at all from the lotion, but it took much longer than usual for the bleeding to stop, so no Smug-Mode yet.

I had the usual struggle to get the socks on, but I was determined not to use Sock-Glide-Glenda! I thought, well, the Carer will be here shortly.

So, I went on the balcony and took a photo of the end car park, curious to see how the red van man had parked… Blimey, another red vehicle, had parked in red-van mans’ usual illegal parking space on the chevrons.

Red van man had parked legally and correctly… that’s the first time in four months I’ve seen this; I felt pretty honoured. Hehehe! I think the white vehicle at the far end has been there for a long time now?

Carer Chaymae arrived. We greeted each other, and she got the medications sorted and put them in my hand…

Oh, flippin’ ‘eck! The bottle dropped when Peripheral Pete gave me a shaking, straight down spraying water all over me, my socks and trousers onto the floor; Trying to catch the bottle,  I fell knocking over the waste bin and clunked Cathy Cartilages knee as I hit the deck! Carer Chaymae got me back on my feet and picked up the now almost empty from a full water bottle, Tsk! The gal departed with a treat in thanks from me.

On to the computer… and the first of up till now… three Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet failures!

Liberty-Global boss Mike Fries strikes again!

Faffling about getting nowhere with the Liberty-Global crap, net going down repeatedly, I somehow completed yesterday’s blog and sent it off.

I gave up and went to get a mug of Glengettie… What a pillock! I noticed the things on the side I’d put there to make Josie’s meal with… Worse, the watch told me it was 13:15hrs! I was ashamed at failing to get her meal to her on time for the first time ever! I went to her flat but could get no response to ringing the chimers… embarrassed, frustrated and self-loathing was brewing up.

It didn’t help to listen to the bang-bang-away Herbert while I was tensed up.

I called at Josies’ again, and she answered this time, what a revelation this was to me, Humph! I mumbled an apology, and I explained my idiocy in forgetting, and she was very calm about it and asked: “Did you forget to put your clock forwards?” This made me feel a bigger plonker than I already felt! I’d forgotten about the clock changing again this year, fell arse over tit, lost my reading glasses, the internet was crashing all the time, I could feel the blood coming from Little Inchies Lesion! I was not feeling too proud of myself at all!

Panicking, I hastened to get Josies’ meal prepped and served.

I did not want to spoil it by rushing too much, though, so it was about an hour before it was served up and ready for delivery.

I delivered it to her, she said, “It’s too much! You have me looking like Betty Bunter!” Bless her, she says that nearly every week. 💕

Now, I need to unwind… ah, an odd choice of words that. But it reminded me I had to change the three watches, put them forward an hour. Crap, lost another hour! Hehehe!

I took three photos from the kitchenette window of the rather beautiful looking clouds in the sky.

Then set about making a snack; I don’t feel like creating a proper meal. Summat friendly and easy will do me fine, now let’s look at what’s available… Haddock fish cakes, fishcake with pea topping, and the crispy chips will do me. Yes, the last of the chips and some fishcakes will do nicely. Especially as they all need the same time cooking.

Fish tea prepped and served. And I tucked into it with a relish, and I gobbled up the lot of it. Slowly, to get satisfaction from the delightful taste. Heap flavourful! A rating of 804/10, given.

The evening Carer called and got me sorted, just starting her shift, poor thing.

The darkness dawned as I was washing the pots, and I managed to get a shot of the sun setting, which only lasted for about three minutes? I was beginning to feel a little cheerier when…

While listening to the tap-tapping coming from above as I went to put the dishes into the wall cupboard, I had a first-ever for me, incident, event.

I know I was feeling tired, but I still cannot work out how I managed to do this…  – I put the stick down on my foot, not the floor? Automatically, as a reaction, I pulled the foot away, sent the stick (Not Metal Mickey, I was using Wooden Walter at the time), flying and giving myself a decent toe-stubbing at the same time on the cupboard corner beneath the sink. Which made me think…

Have I always been so unlucky? Yes, I think…
I recalled one-day playing solo tiddlywinks,
I got a splinter that turned septic in a blink!
Turned black and didn’t half pen and ink!

Double-pneumonia at three, blood in the pee…
Can’t remember it, but later Dad told me…
Got a part acting in the Chapel matinee,
I knocked over a candle, fire, folks did flee!
I didn’t go again; me and the Vicar did agree!

We went to Skegness, by the sea…
Go-Karting available, for the first time, you see…
Only one was tipped over… of course, by me!
Life even then was not trouble-free…
Ever since, I’ve Whoopsiedangleplopped consistently,

I’m proud to say, now in my decrepity…
Not many folks lived life so discordantly,
I’ve produced constant defeats and failures diligently…
I can expect daily doses of foul-ups, errors & calamity!
No signs of things getting better – disquietingly…

Keep Safe and, above all, Smiling!

Inchcock Today: Diary with Odes

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

I’d like to start with my family, friends and flatmates here at Woodthorpe Court, in Sherwood, Nottingham

Roger Rabbit, waving to Lisa & Bill ♥

Their Mother & Father are my cyber-buddies, HRH Lisa, Billum and Alan, of Fort Thomas in the US of A. Lovely Gift; A smashing clan who sent them to me out of the blue, and I have a natter with them every morning! I made a family portrait this morning…

Inchcock Today

Whoops I woke up with a whopping great jump and jerk. It was of such magnitude it moved my body mass a few inches towards the edge of the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. A few more inches would have had me on the carpet, cursing and nursing Harold’s Haemorrhoids! Hehehe!

Of course, that was the end of any sleeping, so I lay a few seconds to work out what day and time it was and any actions or activities required… But here was the watch? No longer on my wrist?

I soon found out what I’d done with it – fourteen hours later, I found it on the floor, behind the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner.

During the ablutionalisationing, I realised I had not got my watch on. “Ah, well,” I thought, “It’ll be on the ottoman!” Finished off and made a brew of Glengettie. But…

Refilling the kettle, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kicked off. Talk about bad timing! Harrumph! The water went all over the previously washed and dried cutlery and crockery, down the front cabinet of the sink and down my trousers, socks and slippers, and onto the kitchen floor…

It took me ages to get it sorted and dressed again. I seem to be doing this a lot more often lately. Dementia Doreen? SSS? Peripheral Pete? Cataract Kathleen? Haha! Who knows which will get the blame.

Made a fresh mug of tea and got on the computer, rather pleased to be making an early start on the blog. Ha!

I had to do other jobs and kept nipping back to see if Liberty-Global, the company with a Revenue of: 12.98 billion USD (2021), who bought out Virgin Media Internet, are even worse than the scumball BT internet was… Not that Herr Fries is bothered. Don’t I pick them!

Did the health checks, and the internet was back on. But to for long, ten minutes maybe…

Pee’d off with this already! The Iceland delivery arrived. They had substitutes plain sausages again for the unavailable microwave ones! That’s the fourth time this year, I’ve sent them back each time, but they keep subbing them.

The strawberries and tomatoes were from Morocco. The strawberries had some slime on a few, which I threw away. The mini-cherry tomatoes were substituted for vine ones and tested for taste… Bloody Hell! I’ve tasted a tomato so foul and bitter in my life! Eurgh! They hadn’t any brown cobs in stock either! All in all, a bad do! I put the crap away.

Tried the computer again. It had come back on at last. For around a half-hour, then…

Well, obviously not that much… Git!

My morning Carer called and sorted me out. It was her first call. She came in without ringing the door chime and gave me a nervous tick! Even if she shouts out when she walks in, I can’t hear her with my hearing. Still, I wasn’t using the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) when she came in. Hehehe!

Aha! The internet came back on… Thank you, Mr Fries. Got the post finished and sent off. Facebooking, and it happened again:

Liberty-Global has disassociated itself with Virgin Media; they do not mention that they own and fail to run it, hoping that Richard Branson will get the blame, I think?

One more effort once it came back on. Most anger-making and revenge prompting! But this time, I had to close everything down and off and reboot the box and computer.

I’ll have to give up on this; Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet has gone off again! My language is crude at the moment. I am willing and wishing that Fries drops dead immediately. It won’t matter to me cause he can’t run the service anyway. He’s a number-cruncher, accountant, actuary, bean-counter, bookkeeper, calculator, con-man. His use of smoke and mirrors, off-shore account movements etc., are his strengths. A wanker of a banker! Indeed, he has no people-care or customer sensitivity.

I’ve lost all my heart in blogging now. I’ll get something to eat, give up until morning, and then try again to use LIBERTY-GLOBAL Virgin Media Internet. But I’m not confident… well, I am in a way – I feel sure that Fries will let things get worse… there’ll be a financial fiddle of some sort involved in the situation, I’m sure. But he is obviously trying to destroy a company, his company, that paid around $2.4 billion to buy out… why? Back-handers? Mafia? Money Shuffling & Juggling? Banking fiddle? You scratch mine – I’ll scratch yours?

Bribery and manipulation? Or just money-making savviness via greedy, devious, underhand means? Just a thought! Why is he shoving all the much-travelled money of Liberty-Global into telecom and internet companies the world over? When he obviously is incapable of providing a reliable service? A money-predatory and manipulative Con-Man supreme!

Today’s end car park inspection photograph.

Carer Valerie arrived. Just after I’d realised that I had no hot water from the taps (faucets). She was kind enough to find and write ht telephone number of the Nottingham City Homes Repairs in large letters so I could read it. I was a little nervous to ring yet if I had made a cock-up leaving a tap running or something. (The hot water was back on in the morning, Phew!) Off went Valerie taking the bags o the waste for me on her way. Thank you!

Herbert was giving it some hammer tonight; I wonder what he’s making this time. I found a picture that I’d taken last week, possibly from Thursday when I visited the foot lady at the hair salon appointment farce.

Washed and changed into the night attire, and I made up a bottle of spring water and lime juice. I did a couple for Carer Richard, who may come on Monday, and stored them in the fridge, so they will be nice and cold for him.

Hot much of a sunset again tonight, but still beautiful to me, even with the muted hue and colours.

I used the Canon camera. As for some reason, the Fuji developed a thick white line down the centre of the screen, and I could not remove it? Turned it off and then back on, but no luck; still there?

As I got down on the recliner to watch some TV, I took this snap of my legs. Not a pretty sight!

The fattiness in both legs was returning, or it might be water-retention, but I think not. I wish I knew why I felt that, but I cannot remember why now, Tsk! (Sunday morning)

Cartilage Cathy on the right and Arthur Itis on the left knee, can you see? The veins are shallower tonight, and the hairs have suddenly turned grey? The funny side of this shot was the feet not showing. Hahaha!

An Ode to an ‘Orrible Day

My signing with Virgin Media was happenstantial,
The computer… to be precise, Liberty-Global,
Ran by Mike Fries, money-mad and ignoble!
Who bought out Virgin Media, most controversial,
Liberty-Global is crap; blame is cunningly deflectable…
They keep shtum about owning Virgin Media – detestable!
So Richard Branson gets the blame, a sort of Guilt-Burial!
My hatred for Mike Fries is substantial…
Well, his hatred of customers is evidential…
His lousy internet seems to him inconsequential,
He still gets paid a fortune, and management are reverential?
The sickening signs of fiddling figures are torrential!
Although my evidence is only circumstantial…
And comes from a customer who is uninfluential,
Liberty-Global’s ever failing service makes me demential!

Morning all!

Inchcock Today: Belated Photographicalisations – Diary

/ Inchie / 29 Comments

Belated Photographicalisations INCHCOCKs DIARY

I’m afraid with the mess I made of the files when trying to master the card-reader problem, and then the CorelDraw graphics disaster… that’s a mild word for it! It was no less than a miracle how I managed to get the photos uploaded. Then the reader kept conking out midway through – and the unloaded SD pictures had to be searched for again… Then the card-reader conked out again all together! It’s taken me a lifetime to get them sorted… well, there are more unsorted now! Glagnangles!

Well, he’s been tap-tapping and knocking to keep me company once again, on and off all day! But he can’t help being well-off and all the management loving him so. In fact, as ignorant, unneighbourly, superior-natured, snotty, unresponsive, unfriendly, standoffish, snot-bags go, he’s one of the bestest.

I did have the pleasure of Carer Cheeky Charley calling this morning. So good to have a little natter and laugh. Her having to leave put me back in the dumps, but thankful for her cheeriness! ♥

I’ve not much idea which of the two days I’d no working SD reader photos were taken, but I’ve hazarded my best guess. Tried to get them in the order they were taken… I hope. Here we go…

A morning shot here, Mayhaps Wednesday. (Or, Thursday, or else Friday?) Or not. Got the splinter out! I seem to recollect my knocking over the towel holder and breaking it when I took this shot.

I took the Boot’s BP sphygmomanometerisationing, in the kitchenette, near the microwave machine. Why? Tsk! I haven’t got the foggiest; I can’t even remember taking it.

Still, the 149 Sys reading came out okayish. DIA 70, Pulse at 91. The body temperature was not such a good result, though! Even lower this time, the minimum being 35°c, it was a little low at 33.7°c.

I’m assuming the picture of the Dettol disinfectant would have had something to do with Little Inchies Fungal Lesion bleeding and my need to wash the trews using it?

Aha! I can remember taking this one! I used Carer Richard’s so kindly donated camera. The batteries ran out, but I had some in stock and changed them, got a decent shot? Something bugs me that I may have already put this on a blog? Ah, Thursday this one, when I got the Ocado order delivered, by a helpful bloke who took the bags through to the kitchen, bless his cotton socks. Some great nosh arrived! Marmite cobs, fresh pod peas, potato cheese and leek pies. (Had an Accifauxpa with them, I’ll try to remember to tell you of the farce later). 

A tasty treat of the day, Polish sourdough bread, cheese twists, as well. Oh, and the best cakes I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m gerrin’ on a bit now yer know, Hehehe! Four cream and strawberry jam tartlets… Eat them all? Me? Ahem! Erm… Yes! Got some strawberries as well; going out for treats, they will be. Got the stuff stored away.

I opened a Chukka cheese, leek and onion pie… no, that’s not right, erm… I was close. It was a potato, cheese and leek pie, and as I was putting it back in the fridge having removed the cardboard… Ailment number eight; Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, ensured that I dropped the pie on the floor. Swiftly followed up by Peripheral Neuropathy Pete giving me one of his rare, but troubling, drop-something and flail-about, involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler Dances  (As cyber-mate Tim, in New Mexico has Christened them, Hahaha  To round off the farce, I trod on the Chukka pie!

Hence, I had to clean and mop the kitchenette floor yet again. For the third time this week. Each time it was caused primarily by one or more of the ailments. With all the things going wrong lately, I surprised myself with how I got on with the job; I even found myself singing out loud?

Erm,  Thurs… no, Fridays Health Checks  I think  Either one, the SYS and DIA were back up high again; However, the Pulse was down a bit. You can’t win ’em all.

Whoops The body temperature was about the same, too low  I’d try the in-the-ear one, but I can’t work out how to get the actual temperature up on display. Fair enough, there are buttons on it to confuse me… Haha!

I think I’ve made a cock-up on this one; I can’t remember eating this at all. So, possibly, Dementia Doreen is having fun with me, or I saved an old photo, not a new one… that is, of course, unless the computer card reader ate the new one?

Ah, this was Thursdays anyway, I reckon, Cause there is sourdough bread in the picture. See that, I worked that out despite Dementia Doreen. Har-har  Yes, I had two Heinz veggie burgers  Texan style. They were delicious  Yellow tomatoes, podded peas and BBQ sauce on the burger sandwiches.

Then… I demolished all four of Marks & Spencer cream and strawberry jam tarts!! Next time, I’ll be hard pushed not to order any more from Ocado – they were out of this world!

Fridays morning  It took me hours to get the blog done with the graphic of Lisa and Bill in their laboratory.

Getting photos onto the system was still a no-no, no-go!

Oh, bloody woe is me! That damned Shuddering Shoulder Shirley is having a ball with me this week. Her timing is just immaculate. I was just stirring the freshly made mug of Glengettie when she gave just one almighty jerk that resulted in tea and broken pottery on the kitchen floor once more that needed to be cleared, cleaned and mopped again!

I can’t take much hassle  Hehehe. There was no singing to myself this time around!

I decided to make a can of ready-made chilli, a hot one it says on the label. Do a few chips in the oven and dunk the Sourdough bread. I wonder if I can get the photograph of the meal onto the computer. What are the odds, Humph!

Saturday morning: Well, Gotten Himmel  The SD card worked first time this morning. This has not been the case for over fifteen days!

The can of strong Chilli-con-carne and garden peas was slowly warmed through. Then I added some grated leeks and some more red beans, Liquid smoke, then the BBQ sauce, all the time stirring it, on a low light, turning up the heat for the last few minutes. The BBQ chips done in the oven were added when I served it up. Some Polish sourdough bread and a Lemon & Lime yoghourt pot rounded off the meal.

Hehe! Delicious! Flavour rating 8.8/10… nothing like being precise.

The evening carer arrived when I was eating it; she was a front door non-chime ringer – didn’t half make me jump when she got in the room  (Haha!)

Sleep was resistant tonight. I tried putting on the TV, but even that didn’t help me nod off. Then the dreaded Thought-Storms arrived… and stayed toying in my brain for hours on end!

I did manage to nod off eventually and stayed that way for four hours, before the traditional springing awake with a jump… needing a wee-wee  So, up I got.

Ode To These Two Days


Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas & affrays!
Bleeding, fears, worries, errors, mistakes always!
Thought Storms, more so than for days…
The mind was unable to sort out or appraise…

The odd bit of good fortune… that did amaze…
Dropsies, I could have had the kitchen ablaze,
Memory blanks, medications and delays…
Forgetting what I’m typing; off the thought strays!

Started recalling the past, all my yesterdays,
Leaving my emotions depressed, in a haze!
But, at least no walking into doorways!
Mind you, on a superb tasting meal, I did graze!

Morning all!

Inchcock: Thoughts on Imbecilities – In Odes

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

Thoughts on Imbecilities

Vascular Dementia Doreen and the Thought-Storming,
Memory-loss, mind blanks, can be mentally disturbing,
At times depressing, troubling, often gruelling…
Alto-Ego and Inchies brain, arguing, duelling…
Sometimes the mind needs a rest for refuelling,
Here are some of the traits revealed, comedic and appalling!

Arguing with Alto-Inchy…

Conflict often starts when in the wet room, ablutioning,
I’ve only one mirror; I use it for shaving in the morning…
Or with mind-blanks, sometimes, it will be in the evening,
I hate him; he’s superior, nasty and criticising!
This Alto Inchie… the other me… can be baffling…

Mayhaps I need a neurologist or Psychologist visiting?
I hear sounds from the past, traffic, songs, bugling…
Although usually, we are deep in mental brawling…
Me, the one who ends up depressed and caterwauling…
Yet occasionally, Alto-Ego, becomes less insulting?

I suppose I need some form of help, some counselling?
Yet I don’t believe anything can stop my mind from crumbling!
Physically Peripheral Neuropathy Pete can be disabling,
The Stroke ensured I shall forever be struggling…
The Cataracts, Glaucoma and ears are much more worrying…

Yet some days, incredibly, I seem to be coping?
I find that I am actually optimistic and hoping,
I can sort out bits of concern by disentangling…
The feeling guilty for my self-pity, by realising,
Others are worse off and alone too… Humbling!

Stop and Ponder…

The Thought storms may suddenly go into mothballing…
I stop in the front room – it needs cleaning and sorting…
The brain tells me I require mollycoddling…
My fears and depressions certainly need muzzling!
Priorities need arranging and some actioning!

But it’s not easy for me, detail classifying, pigeonholing,
Forgetting, misplacing, quarrelling amidst the schemozzling…
Fears, worries, flash into mind… like anchovies shoaling,
I feel my sanity at times is stumbling on its way to failing,
Do you think the NHS will do mind-surveilling?

Mentally Distorted

I see the view via photographing,
What do you see? Well, according to me…
Somewhere out there; Some folk will be contradicting,
Or a poor sod in the middle of a bankrupting…
A family, communally banqueting?
A Monopoly player cheating?
Someone undoubtedly shoplifting…
A lamb in a field might be bleating?
Or emergency workers, fire-fighting,
Drug gangs, selling, abusing…bloodletting?
A politician… bloviating!
A news reporter, reporting?
An illegal immigrant deporting?
A lucky sod having sex… luxuriating!
Someone up an alleyway, urinating?
First-time home-owners, decorating,
An old age pensioner… constipating!

A Dour Sunsetting

A hard-up family, regretting Brexiting?
A hustler, planning, hornswoggling!
A fiddling bank manager… calculating?
A mugged pensioner, capitulating…
A murderer being freed to kill again – Sickening!
A baby going through the pain of castrating?
A young couple learning about cavorting!
Another freed murderer, celebrating?
A Hari Krishna member chanting,
A water worker, chlorinating?
A Nottingham pick-pocket circulating,
A Politician: World war circumventing?
A pair of gents, cockfighting,
A Policeman, machete and gun confiscating?
Jews and Arabs coexisting?
Ah! Now I’m getting into the land of dreaming…

Bad Parking!

.The Red Van Man – lousy parking…
Parking properly, he’s not contemplating…
Maybe he has not got the ability?
If so, parking without conformity…
Blocking fire engines in an emergency?
He should get a cautioning?
Ah, now I’m remembering…
Private land! So no legal prosecuting…
I’m not surprised; at the laws failing…
They free murderers to do more killing!

Dangerous!

Look at these perfect results above, contrasting…
To yesterday, when the SYS was rising…

Oh, dearie me!

The temperature was ever more declining…
34.1°c, but I’m only witwantoning!

Angel Julia

.American Carer Julia, her kindness is unremitting,
She had another call to do, so not much nattering…
Whenever Julia calls, I find it thrilling…
When Julia leaves, it is somewhat saddening…
For she cheers me so, she’s pleasant, patient and Caring ♥

Lip Smackingly Good!

Do you like the look of the meal above, my dining?
No meat as such, but fish-sticks, without fish in?
The taste of them was breathtaking…
Not too sweet, oven chips, no frying…
And I’m not lying, the most satisfying…
Truly tasty, there’s no denying…
A treat to the taste buds… gobsmacking!
Harry Ramsdens Chip Shop style, well-worth trying!

I find things today are moral-contaminating,
Not that I’ve done much in the improving things contributing!
I’ve drifted along, weak-willed and no consolidating…
Done my bestest to be kind and temper-moderating…
Welcomed, greeted folks, by my bridge building…
Do no harm, I did to help for others, aid-orchestrating…

Now disabilities, old age, vascular dementia I’m getting…
I keep falling over, but not fainting,
Struggle with my ablutioning,
Tried not for others to be abnegating…
The eyes and ears problems get no alleviating,
Let alone actually obtain any treating!

I’m aware of Dementia Doreen; I need sanity-auditing,
My thoughts and intentions… are not completing…
Use of the brain is nowadays complicating,
My decisions, fears, desires are self-conflicting…
I do little to deserve any respect or congratulating,
The Thought-Storms are ever congregating…

The mind seems to be mentally contorting,
The physical side doesn’t stand reporting…
Even taking a wee-wee needs coercing!
From logicalness, I think I’m distancing…
Any paperwork is confusing and inconveniencing!

Memory, or lack of, mind blanks, have me cursing…
I need help, mayhaps a little nursing?…
No, perhaps some rejoicing, romancing?
I may get by with some reminiscing?
The brain has little left for downloading!

Inchcock’s Make ‘Em Laugh Series – In Odes

Odiously ‘Orrible Odes on Ageing

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

Inchcocks advice and tips, for whippersnappers who think they will live forever, in diabolical ode. You Won’t!

Be Prepared

It’s essential that you prepare, cause nobody else will care…
Unless you’re loaded, with plenty of cash to betroth, spare,
Have you spent it? Holidays, big car and you’ve safaried?
I’m just explaining how it will be for you, not to be morbid…
I don’t mind if my tips are not absorbed…
All a part of living is death, don’t be worried!

Oh, and there’s nothing to say that you should be hurried!
You may find that you could later, yourself bedrid…
You’ll need help if yer on yer own, and feeling dogeared,
Paying for Carers must not be feared…
New ailments will by now have reared…
You can expect this; it’s normal, not weird!

The family may call to help, your bank balance cleared,
Your reputation may diminish, become smeared…
Help might be harder to get; tell them you are disorientated…
You’ll make them a beneficiary, you’ll be genuflected!
They may make you a brew, say you’ve been neglected…
Then you may die of poisoning… they’ll be suspected!

If you own your own house, but not if it’s rented…
You’ll be treated well, as is to be expected…
The not seen for years crowd will be attracted…
Looking for the Will, but it won’t be protracted,
It’s essential to avoid them becoming malcontented…
Pick your times when to tell them you’re demented!

Them topping you, at all costs must be prevented,
Promise each one a little extra, don’t get resented!
Unless, of course, death will make you contented…
Tell them you’ve sorted their money, all consented…
But, remember who you’ve promised, you may get assaulted!
Or, at minimum, your face resculptured!

When the Doctor tells you, the end is anticipated…
You may wish they’d told you later, waited…
Unknown relatives calling will be prompted,
Is his name Keith, Tim, Richard or Ted?
Not that it matters, cause you could soon be dead!

Ailments Roster

Stroke, Cataracts Diabetes: To Be Added

In my young days, ailments that were lurking,
Were Polio, Double pneumonia, & getting a caning…
Not that I’m sorry, but of all, I was ailing…
We didn’t have to put up with too much burgling,
Sore throat, toothache? Meant saltwater gurgling,
We knew nowt about Cocaine or methamphetamine!

In my teens, there were very few ailments troubling,
Of course, romance took precedence; ah, romancing! ♥
I got into it, even went to the nightclub, dancing…
But I broke my leg one night, and I was only waltzing!
For Suzie, should I try dancing again? I was dithering…
But she left me when the Twist arrived, very belittling!

I met a gal from near Berlin… who really got me going!
Grizelda her name, big lass, solid-built and liked her gin…
But she had to go home; I was lonely again…
Oh, sorry, from the subject I am straying…
Not precisely an ailment, but I got shot while working…
Made redundant, unfair, and I wasn’t shirking!

Then the ailments started coming, flooding…
Duodenal ulcer, Arthur Itis, needed a new heart put in!
Reflux Roger, eyesight failing, and I lost my hearing…
Sadly, that was the end of motorcycling,
So I bought Robin Reliant, though it was exciting…
Sat in a car park, a lorry hit me, anger was igniting!

Then peripheral Neuropathy was diagnosed…
Got shot again, then made redundanted,
Life started backpedalling…
But you can learn from my failing!
It’s no point in wailing…
Life is never plain sailing!

When I had the stroke, then I started wailing,
Hospital four weeks, then a home for the ailing…
For five weeks, it was appalling!
Things got worse, they lost my washing…
Gave me no food one day; everyone else was noshing?
I don’t think I’ll ever again go abseiling?

Weeks later, the eyesight faded more, blurring?
Went to see the optician… revealing…
Cataracts and glaucoma in both eyes, they so sting…
Saccades in the right eye never heard of this thing…
The NHS said there is an average of 48-weeks waiting!
Nothing much-going right, or compensating…

Weeks later, I went virtually deaf, hardly any hearing…
In either lughole… both channels were wax-filling…
Since which, four times a day, the olive oil dropping in…
The left worse than the right, ‘Grumbling!’
Not hearing my doorbell tune ringing…
Not the telephone’s ding-a-ling; this’s frustrating!

I took a tumble in the shower, ablutionalisationing,
You’ll get to accept these; they are a part of being…
Doddery, not having yet mastered the walking stick.
Fears and worries will need camouflaging…
Oh, and shopkeepers will try over-charging…
Or more likely short-changing…

With the arrival of Vascular Dementia Doreen coming…
Means problems with organising and remembering…
Dizzy Dennis, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley bothering…
Thought Storms, your brain will need defragging,
The kettles broke, and the toilet is not flushing…
Hopes for the future, you’ll find languishing!

Sock-Glide-Glenda

Sock-Glide-Glenda, to be used after ablutioning!
Very good for bodily parts mutilating…
It can be avoided by not going out, staying in…
But you’ll have to go out to get your medications and gin?
I can assure you, in Sock-Glide-Glenda executing…
You’ll be injured, cut, bruised or exsanguinating!

I solved this painful problem by hibernating…
In the flat, the brain stopped activating…
No perambulating or hobbling… boring!
Although Carers called, to do the medicating…
Some of them like a little chinwagging,
I look forward to the talking Carer’ visiting!

So, Whippersnappers, this you must be expecting…
Keep your wits about you, when Glendaring,
Germolene, plasters and Phorpain gel nearby waiting,
A blood blister, cut, or bruise can really sting!
Worse if you have a boil or carbuncle erupting!
These odes are just tips; I’m not instructing…
Just future problems for you, detecting…
Please don’t see this ode as floccinaucinihilipilificating!

Overview on Inchcocks’ Life

I’ve led a super-fun life; I’m not complaining,
Lived life to the full, wind, sun or raining…
I’ve had so much sex; it’s been disorientating!
Earnt a fortune – I don’t mean to be drum-beating,
I’ve had battles but can’t remember taking a beating…
I’d got through life with faith, honesty and collaborating,
Oh, there’s just one other thing…
This last verse was all me fibbing!

Part of the Inchies Make Them Laugh Ode Series

Inchcock Today: Police Interview at Bank!

/ Inchie / 38 Comments

INCHCOCK TODAY

Inchcock Interviewed!

Ode to the Bank Manager Interview

The photo wot I made up above today,
Is purely fictitious and a bit of fun, I say,
The Bank Manager, and Jillie, who saved the day…
Went through my transactions chronologically…
Wanted to know were they actually done by me…
They went through everything thoroughly…
Every price, product and reason, in minutiae!

The Police attended, to my initial dismay!
I’ve been calm… have I committed an affray?
Initially, my mind was confused, in disarray…
They even asked who had been on eBay?
“Me, once, sent there by Amazon last Tuesday!”
Jillie handled things for me magnificently!
Showing patience, no signs of stress on display,

When the Police arrived, Jillie went away…
Difficult my hearing things; it felt like roleplay…
My appreciation of the Bank, I can’t overplay!
They thought someone might have been at me…
Cajoling me to spend money on them…
Doreen Dementia made me act dysfunctionally,
The card was reinstated, authoritatively!

After three hours, and all sorted almost casually…
The actions from the Bank went assuringly,
Jillie was there to conduct things, thankfully!
She’s saved the day again, not admonishingly…
Once more, she’s tamed my worries wonderfully!

Tuesday 8th March 2022

I couldn’t get to sleep last night for love or money. At about 06:00hrs, I drifted off for five minutes. I noticed that cause I turned on the TV to watch the news… but didn’t. As I suddenly needed the Porcelain Throne, so off to the wet room.

All my worries over the bank business, eyesight, hearing etc., faded. To be replaced with the evacuation that has started had stopped mid-way.

CW05Getting things moving again was not only painful; it took me ages! I counted the veins on my right thigh; they seem to have increased a fair bit? Hey-Ho! Whistled a little, then got the crossword book out. I needn’t have bothered with it cause racing the clues was virtually impossible with Kathleen’s Cataracts and Glaucoma.

Got the ablutions sorted out. All went pretty well, apart from Harold’s horrendously hard-pressed Haemorrhoids!

Carer Richard arrived. I told him of the wrong medications being given to me last night. Said he’d mention it to the office. I tried again to ring Jillie, but no answer. I was in a tizwas about the Bank and not in a talkative mood, other than to moan at the poor lad. Richard did his best to settle me and took the bags out with him as he departed.

Aha! Boy, what a joy that was to hear! Sweet Jillie called me, and bless her kind nature, she said she’d meet me at the Bank at 09:30hrs.

I hastened to get things done in time and set off at 09:00hrs on the hobble down the hill. Down the elevator and out of the main foyer.

Along Chestnut Way, right down Winchester Street, and doing a reasonable pace. I met Angel Jillie near her house, and we went straight to the Bank, entering and pathetically leaving all the talking with the manageress to Jillie.

What I can recall of Interview/Interrogation

09:30hrs: We entered the collosium… erm, Bank. Bearing in mind, I didn’t hear a lot of what they said, but I did pick up most of what Jillie translated for me all the way through.

Into the back office. This was easy for me; Jillie was doing all the hard work explaining things. I just gave confirmation on something.

Then the eight A4 pages of transactions from my account were gone through… one at a time, requiring me to explain why and what reason was each thing bought! This took up over an hour.

Then Grammarly and WordPress charges were gone through in minutiae, needing to know why again and what was for. This filled out another hour or so. I got a sense that they were only questioning me to find out if I really did spend all this money or was some naughty person involved?

The ladies had a little natter between themselves, which I wasn’t a party to, and both left the room. Jilly said the manager would be back in ten minutes, and off they trotted. I sat sitting and counted the number of plugs in an overloaded-looking extension of sockets behind the computer… oh yes… Fifteen! Picked my nose a bit, wishing I knew what was going on… 

The manageress returned, with a police officer – hello, I thought, what have done wrong now? Hehehe! She started to ask all sorts of investigative questions. Very cleverly. I may have put her off her stroke a little by keeping asking her to repeat what she said, but she soon got me opening up. She’d done such a good job, I was beginning to wish I could confess about something to her. Hahaha! But being as I am known as a none-gambler or risk-taker nowadays… Gawd, it’s my first time outdoors for about a month or more… I had no guilt for me to divulge. Jillie returned, and I was told the card had been reactivated… I wanted to say, “I wish you could reactivate me… but thought better of it.

Jillie helped me get some cash from the dispenser, and we nipped to the Ozan continental store, me in search of bread and cooked meat. Jillie found some sweet & sour rye bread! I’ve never seen any before, but I will try some tonight with the unpronounceable name, Polish cooked pork that is delicious, and tomatoes. That’s the plan, anyway.

The bread feels very heavy and solid. I bet it’s going to be delicious, well-best-buttered with the Polish pork… Mmm!

We meandered out and up to Winchester Street and parted company at the bus stop. Jillie has to get back home. She’s a lot of work waiting for her. Which shows just how kind she is to me, leaving that to help me out, yet again. 💘

I caught the bus up to the flats, and a Carer got on the bus; I think it was Priscilla. But you know me and Carers’ names. Infamously memory-challenged, that’s me! Hehe!

When we got to the Winwood Court, I entered through Winchester Court and Winwood court to Woodthorpe Court. A lot of courts, innit? I met Jenny’s Frank outside the Wardens office, not been seeing him for a while. Splendid chap. Then went in to visit ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenführeress, Warden and Primo Ballerina, Warden Deana. Had little natter, but she was busy, bless her. Got up into the flat, 12:20hrshrs; definitely a happier bunny than yesterday.

I worked on this blog for five hours; the going was so slow.

Getting the photos on the computer had several failed attempts, then on about the fifth, I got some on from last night.

I had several poorly failed photographicalisations that I took around 18:00hrs on Tuesday of the planet. The moon shots, I’d taken many failed efforts, managed to get a few passable ones. Which I placed here on the left.

You Fool Inchcock! I meant Monday, of course, today being Tuesday. I got there in the end.

These two were the least bad of the selection. Obviously affected by either Shaking Shaun or Peripheral Neuropathy Pete. Maybe even Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley? The bottom one, I made the moon look like… well, I don’t know now. I KNEW when I first saw it, but it seems to have escaped me now.

I got a friendly call from Jenny, asking how I went on at the Bank. Nice lady! 💕

Another three hours of slow-going doing this blog. Error-ridden, frustrating… but with Jillie sorting out the bank business, I didn’t seem to mind so much!

Then the ♫ Oh Susan ♫ tune announced the arrival of evening Carer. It was the American gal, Julia. Another sweet, patient, kind, unassuming, gentle gal. So, generous too. After issuing the medications, Julia gave me a little natter and tried to help me sort out the mobile texting. 💗

After she had gone, I tried again to get the missed pictures on the computer. I got the last nights’ meal one on, but the other missing ones would not load at all again. Grumph and Balderdash! Most frustrating! I think I’ll have to leave it here; with no sleep last night, I’ll give up on this blog; I know I have at least two photos more not loaded. I’ll try again in the morning, now I’ll try to catch up with WP Reading and commentating, then get my sarnies made and head down.