Inchcock Today Thr 22 Jan 15

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

Up at 0400hrs, WC’d and tried to remember dreams but no luck.

Started laptop and made a cuppa and took my medications.

The arthritis and angina were no worse this morning, thankfully, but the haemorrhoids had been bleeding again. Tsk!

Finished off yesterdays diary and posted it, then the innards started again a-rumbling – oh dear please not again! Oh yes indeed – four visits in three hours… Tsk!

Started working on an idea that Mike Steeden gave me for a post – but could not concentrate enough to get it right and gave up.

Then the sneezing and coughing started. That reminded me of Sister Jane being poorly so phoned her to see how she was – a little better gladly. Her hubby Pete has done me a wide photograph from Trent Bridge to use as a header later bless him.

Forced missen to gerrup and have me ablutions and got ready to take a walk with me stuff to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop in Sherwood and then bus to town, tram out to Bulwell and see if any of the shops has me blackcurrant ice-cream lollies in stock.

0401More than ever I appreciate me pensioners free bus-pass.

I set off and as  turned the corner of the street on me walk to Sherwood the sky looked threatening a tad – it was gone 1200hrs and still dark?

Onward to the Hospice shop, and dropped me bits off for em.

Then out to the bus-stop (Even had a look to see if I might find me zip end that flew off there yesterday – no) Not that I could have done owt with it if I had…

0402

The Nottingham Hospice shop is next to the one on the corner with the scaffolding, and my Detention centre… sorry, I mean Dentists is to the immediate left.

As I was taking the picture the bus in it gave me a fright as it belted passed. Hehe. I’m amazed the photo wasn’t blurred?

When my bus came it wasn’t anywhere near as full as the one yesterday thankfully. Mind you two teachers with about 15 ankle snappers got on at the next bus-stop and all piled upstairs.

0403I got off at Victoria Centre and had a poddle to take some photographs of the ‘Bling’ in the Jewellery shop window in Trinity Square for the TFZ gals.

Then walked down to the Slab Square to catch a Tram to Bulwell on my mission to find me favourite iced lollies.

The lady with the white hair in the photo conducted a short confab with me, she turned to me as the camera flashed and said: “Why did you take that?”

“For my cyber-friends to show them the new trams” I answered.

“Huh!” she quipped and that was the end of that conversation?

0405I arrived at Bulwell station and alighted avoiding the mobility scooter, two prams, 4-wheeled shopping trolley and step-ladder bearing geezer with the painful adoption of agility on my part I thought.

Walked to the bridge over the Leen and took a photo of the only few Mallards there were at the shallow end, there was a Coot with them today. Not too good a photo cause they were far away and I had to use full zoom on the new camera.

0406I poddled through where the non-working wishing well was (Say that when you’ve had a few – hehe) in a little patch sectioned off in  memory of some councillor or other and at first was amazed to the flowers in full bloom in it?

As I took the photograph I realised they were artificial ones – Tsk!

Had a walk around the shops, Fulton’s, Heron, Iceland and Farm Foods but none of them had any of me lollies in stock. Huh!

0407Got the bus back to Carrington and WC’d, laptop on and made a cuppa and took me medications.

Surprisingly few people on the bus?

The cough still there and the gurgling from me innards seemed to have returned for another bout of ‘Let’s Annoy Inchcock Againism’. The piles have stopped bleeding but are a tad painful – but the arthritis was fair, angina bothersome.

Had a bacon cob (Microwaveable of course) cuppa and yoghurt for nosh – but couldn’t find the appetite to eat it all – and that ain’t me…

Did some facebooking between passings of wind, visitations to the porcelain, coughing and gasping for breath with chest pains and the occasional sneeze thrown in here and there.

In the event of me not posting owt fer a while you can take it I’ve kicked-the-bucket – but I’m in no rush like… blimey coughing agen now. Double Tsk!

Inchcock Interview planned by Radio Nottingham’s Shirley Blamey!

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

Nottingham pensioner Juan Inchcock (69) retired Sanitary Towel machine oiler and filler-upperer , well known locally for his hatred and ridiculing of cyclist on pavements, mad mobility scooter drivers and soggy chips has been invited by Radio Nottingham to be interviewed and have a chance to answer questions phoned in directly from Nottingham cyclists and mobility scooter drivers on the air.

Station Obergruppenfurher Mike Steeden had originally objected to the BBC management at having to include Inchcock on the show.

BBC0001

Marissa Bergen (Left) interviews studio Obergruppenfurher Mike Steeden. 

Mr Steeden explained when our reporter Marissa Bergen interviewed him: “Due to the well known flatulence problems the old chap suffers with, his temperamental bladder, his uncouth appearance and lack of social skills, his falling asleep when one is talking to him, I can’t understand a word of his thick Nottingham accent…”

He paused to get his breath a moment and continued “If he falls down he can’t get up again – and he does a lot of that… falling down. A health and safety risk he is… He can’t hear what one is saying even with his hearing-aids in, he’s blind as a bat, wonders off at a whim, if he sees a pigeon we’ve lost him…”

Marissa squirmed and said: “You don’t like him do you?”

“Not a lot” Mike replied “He’s as thick as two-planks, uneducated and limps about Nottingham taking photos of pigeons, mallard ducks on the canal, cyclists on the pavement, what he thinks are dangerous mobility scooter drivers… in fact the twit is trying to get up a movement to get Government to bring in driving tests, insurance requirements, alcohol content tests for the drivers and is currently designing a ‘Stinger’ for them that he can and says he will use? He’s potty…”

At this point an assistant came into the room and handed Mr Steeden a note, which he read and pondered on for a short while, then told the assistant: “Tell the boss I agree.”

He turned to face Marissa and quipped: “Of course it takes all sort to make a rich colourful mix of citizens in Nottingham and I have to show a magnanimous side in the job – so I’ve decided to allow Shirley to do the interview with Inchcock, but we must get Inchcock in for a ‘Set-the-rules’ meeting. Any other questions Ms Bergen?

“Er… no.. I…” Mike left the room rapidly calling for his assistant as he left?

BBC02aA confused Marissa put her things back in her bag and noticed Mike had left the note brought in my his assistant on the table, so took a BBC001peep at it.

It seemed that Inchcock had promised goodies for Mr Steeden if he did the interview, including his collection of ‘Parade Magazines’ 1958 > 1962.

BBC02Mr Steeden and Ms Blamey arranged to meet Inchcock for the ‘set-the-rules-meeting and they took publicity photographs outside a strangers house for the press, because they didn’t want to show Inchcock’s house and him getting letters of sympathy from the public.

The discussion didn’t go well at all – Inchcock was so besotted with Shirley and passing wind continuously his concentration was non-existent. They has to hope for the best and arranged for Inchy to come to the Nottingham Radio station at a BBC01specific time for the interview.

Plans had to be made protect the staff there during the interview and they all met to agree on the best defence and Shirley came with a mock-up of a Swedish Anit-Germ Containment unit with a cardboard cut out of Inchcock in it to show her idea off.

They all willingly agreed to hire one on the day, nervously…

BBC03On the morning of the interview Inchcock arrived in plenty of time, but was unfortunately still wearing his pyjamas when he came into the office.

Much to the horror of Shirley and started his hands wandering where they should not be wandering, being unable to control his passion and desire for her.

Being the ultimate professional Ms Blamey belted him on the back of his head and threw him out, telling him to get back home and change into some normal day wear clothes. She arranged transport for him there and back to the studios. Kindly making sure he had his bus-pass with him first.

BBC04Inchcock looked a little hurt and sad as he wiped the blood from his wounds and left the building, head down to catch a bus home to his flea-pit.

As he alighted from his bus a mobility scooter very nearly had him over and an uncontrollable hatred raged as he dragged the driver from the scooter to give him a jolly good belting around his head and admonish him for his careless driving…

BBC05The man head-butted Inchcock, threw him over his shoulder onto the pavement and kicked him in the head a few times then hit him on his forehead with one of the two dozen bottles of 8.4 proof Apple cider from his mobility scooter shopping basket while cursing loudly.

The paramedics attending Inchy told the press that Inchcock would not be in any fit state to do any radio interviews for quite a while yet.

Shirley and Mike were cheered-up no end when they heard.

Inchcock Today: Wed 21st Jan 15 – Declorication and dentist concerns

/ Inchie / Leave a comment

Up at 0400hrs – WC, cleaned up the blood.

Damned annoyed at not remembering any of me dreams again this morning.

Angina and arthritis both playing up big time, went down to make a cuppa to have with me medications and found that a bit of snow had fallen overnight and had turned to nasty dangerous black-ice!

0302outsideI took a photo from the front door that creaked as the frost broke around it when I opened it!

I hope no more falls with temperatures this low it shouldn’t, but if it warms up a tad later I can see more snow descending. Tsk!

Not looking forward to the walk to the dentist at all this morning… but got to go.

Weather like this is Whoopsidangleplops inviting. Especially with Arthur Itis limiting my movements like wot he is today.

Trouble with Coreldraw9 this morning, freezing, crashing and importing work I’d done warped? Eventually after many restarts it  seems slow but working again – lost hours there. Tsk!

Looking out the upstairs window I saw many flashing blue lights of emergency vehicles in the distance on Hucknall Road I think. I’d bet the black ice had caught some poor sod out?

Finished off yesterdays diary and got it posted, then had the urge to write a ditty about the weather so I did and posted that. I lost the original plot in no time, but it seemed fairly funnyish all the same.

Must get the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop because it’s only a few doors down from the dentist. Two jobs in one like – as the missus used to say.

Got missen cleaned up and set off for the walk to Sherwood and the Dentists.

It wor miserable out there, but the snow had all but melted by the pouring rain. Not cold at all now.

I pressed on keeping an eye on the time ’cause they don’t like it if yer late you know like. Got there in time and climbed up the high steps into the passage and down to the reception. A few questions answered and I took a seat and waited until she called me name in her Concentration Guard voice (Wrongly but no problem there); “Go up to treatment room one now!”

0300aSo I did – with difficulty as the stairs are a bit steep, so much so I took a sneaky photo of them – just glad I didn’t have to go up another flight to treatment room three.

I sat patiently waiting looking around and noticed a photo on the wall, just above the signs that told us we would be charged extra if we were late for appointments, and taken off their records if we missed an appointment – oh and if we want none grey fillings we must ask them and they will tell us if they can provide them (White ones) and how much they will cost to be done privately.

0300bI thought that the portraits of the Lions was most suitable for this camp… er, surgery.

Eventually the Obergruppenführer came in… I mean Dentist came in and ran through checking me teeth and commanded me to make an appointment with the receptionist for a half-hour treatment session on me two lower front teggies to try and save them, and shoved me record card into me hand..

I mumbled a few words in thanks and painfully nervously got up to go down to the receptionist, by which time she and her assistant had rushed off to treatment room two to see someone else… then I limped gently down the stairs. talking myself into being brave as I did so… to tackle the receptionist to get an appointment.

I handed her the card:

She demanded the payment for the checks just done and I paid her.

Inchy: “Thank you, the dentist said to make a half-hour appointment”

Grissly: “I am knowing this…”

I heroically interrupted her: “Any day but a Monday or Tuesday at any time will do, they are my hospital and clinic days…” I followed it up with a weak twitchy smile…

Grissly: “Humpf… let me to look, wait!”

I whispered back “Yes no problem.”

I sat down.

After a couple of minutes of her belting hell out of the computer keyboard keys she pointed her finger at me and bent the index one inward – this I took as a summoning and went back to the desk…

“You will be coming for treatment on Wednesday 4th February… Yes! This is alright with you yes?” It was an order more than a question.

“Fine yes thank you very much indeed”.

I got sympathetic looks from the other poor sods whose turn it would be later… I mean patients waiting her attentions as I limped out into the rain and sleet.

A bag of nerves by now I forgot completely about the bag of stuff I’d got to hand to the Nottingham Hospice shop a few doors away – such was my determination to escape Frau Goebbels. Actually I think they were Polish. Thus had to carry it around with me all day.

0303carringWhen I got to the bus stop to catch a one into town and take some photographs I adjusted me clothing and a zip came of me nice warm jumper. I tried to reconnect it and a bit flew off into the road never to be seen again.

“Ah well” I thought “I’ll call in Primark see if they have any in the sale still.”

The bus came and it was a case of standing for the journey into town so many people on it.

0304town1As it came towards the City Centre stop, I was caught up in a sort of stampede to get off the bus along with the polite mild mannered Nottingham people nudging and grappling to get off first. I wondered what was happening.

When I got to the pavement I thought my big coat had come undone in the mini-melee – but found that that zip was also broken beyond repair. Huh… what a day I was having and getting soaked in the rain to boot!

Hey-ho, onward down Clumber Street across the lights and right into the Primark store – now I was seeking a jumper and a coat. Tsk!

0W03Took me time and pottered around, took some photographs for the TFZ gals and eventually came across a jumper that looked nice and warm and was reasonably priced – but none of the coats were anything like what I was looking for even though they were cheap enough.

Not enough pockets yer see.

So I left and had a walk through the slab 0304town3square to M&S to cheer myself up with buying one of there admittedly expensive, but deletable braised beef with roasted parsnips that can be cooked in the microwave meals for one.

I foolishly thought before going to the food hall, I’ll pop up the escalators to the third floor and have a look at their coats on sale.

I fell in love with one that had plenty of pockets and looked nice and warm – but dare not tell anyone how much it cost… What a fool!

Now me bags were getting heavy, and me feet stinging as bit.

0304town2I poddled down to the food hall and got me meal for one, then limped back up and out of the store. I held the door open for a lady as we left and found the rain was even more heavy than it was before.

I couldn’t manage me brolly up and cope with me two bags at the same time. What a day!

0304town4I made me way back through the City Centre and up King Street.

Then round to the bus stop via Trinity Square, but no photographicalistioning of shop windows today, it was too wet you see.

A Nottingham Pavement Cycling nearly caught me off guard while I was concentrating on avoiding the worst of the rain but somehow he missed me by inches. I Christened him as loud as I could manage by 0304town5questioning his parentage with the use of one word.

He didn’t seem to notice and was off out of view within seconds… bless him.

I really must look into getting a clandestine camera to catch the pavement cyclists and send the photographs to someone who might be able to do something to bring this problem to the attention of the authorities who don’t seem interested at all in Nottingham, but find the time to prosecute people for throwing away a nub-end or feeding the birds?

0304town6The rain kept alternating with snow/sleet as I made my way to the bus stop and got on one without any delay.

I took a photograph through the bus front window as we moved up Mansfield Road. do you see the lighted little box on the right of the picture?

A God-send that is – it’s where we old-uns swipe of free bus-pass on entry to the bus.

I was soon back in Carrington alighting the bus and  popped into the Co-op because I’d forgotten to get any bread when in town.

I’d also forgot to get some hearing aid batteries from the Ropewalk clinic. Tsk!

0305carrAs I left the Co-op shop, the heavens really opened up and made me way as quickly as me knees back and feet would let, back to the hovel.

WC’d, put the kettle on, started the laptop then made a cuppa and put me things I’d bought away.

Certainly nothing to make me ecstasiate today!

Overall a day of frustrations, pain, embarrassments and failed good intentions – a normal day for Inchcock then!

Hey-ho!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 20th Jan 2015 – Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna in attendance

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

Up at 0400hrs – recalled bits of my dreams:

0201carTwo women in Victorian clothes smoking pipes were shouting at me at a desk with an ink well and quill on it… – In a ditch full of fast moving water, trying to catch a plastic duck with a toasting fork? – Trying to climb into an Austin A40 car 1950’s model, but kept falling out onto a zebra crossing that smelt of soap powder, I had a Davey Crockett hat on… but why?

0201medsI prepared the creams in readiness for the bleeding from the rear end and checked while I was at it on me stocks of medications just in case the lousy weather continues like yer know worra mean?

The cough was persisting still this morning… afternoon and night! Tsketh!

WC’d and applied the creams, had a scrub-up and shave then did some Facebooking.

After a while I thought about going out and decided to have a little walk to Asda on Hyson 0202skyGreen for some bits, but I’d call in the launderette to see Big John on the way.

The sky might have looked nice and pretty but it were damnably cold as I turned towards the cut-through to Mansfield Road.!

As I arrived at the launderette Big John was coming out for a fag.

We had a natter and he asked if I wanted to get a lift with him to Asda. I said thanks I’ll meet him at Asda if that’s alright and scrounge a lift home with the heavy bags? No problem. I needed to keep the knees and ankles going to keep Arthur Itis at bay, so had a slow hobble to Asda.

0203bikeSaid cheerio see you later to Big John and having gone about twenty yards down the road the first Nottingham Pavement Cyclist of the day nearly got me.

I tooketh a photo of her but I don’t think was even aware that I was there at all.

Onward I plodded and when I reached the college fencing on Mansfield Road I could not help but admire the shoots coming through on the bushes and trees as they fought their 0204budway through the bars into the sunlight.

This despite their being cut back drastically by the council a few weeks ago – they were now ready for any pavement cyclist or inattentive walker with a fair chance of poking them in the eyes. Hehehe!

It’s not a good photo, but many of the buds were already through with some of them starting to open?

And here we are with -5c temperatures… amazing.

The sun kept coming out and in strongly – I think that might have been why the gentleman in BMW didn’t see me at the pedestrian crossing on Sherwood Rise, and was most likely not even aware that he’d nearly clobbered me? Huh!

0205forestOver the road and around the corner onto Gregory Boulevard and another cyclist nearly got me – to quick for me to get me camera out in time, so I took photograph of the Forest Recreation Ground while I had the camera out.

I’ve just noticed there are no travelling cars in this photograph and pleased with how it came out, anyone would think the place of idylic peaceful pleasant and a desirable place to live in – Mmmm?

I pressed to the end of the road and turned right towards the Asda outlet – where another cyclist did his best to get me. Gits!

I had a good slow amble around the store starting with the non-foods section to look at the shoes they were offering for sale – Crap is the description that came to mind.

I poddled up and down every aisle in the place – and the trolley was getting slowly filled with stuff I did not really need, more just sort of fancied. At least if the weather does o bad now I’ll survive a while without going out. Hehe!

A good 40 minutes later I was at the checkout. And boy had I spent? Yes… indeed I had: £51.86 that’s USD $78.74 – AUD $96.10 – CAD $95.10 – JPY ¥9319.64!

Big John loaded the three bags into the boot of his car for me and gave me a lift home.

0205MartinAs we came out of the car park I saw something I’ve never seen before in real life anyway only in DVDs and photographs like – an Aston Martin car.

Shame about it being on bricks and the wheels having been nicked – Nottingham eh! Huh!

0207BigJAs we drove down Gregory Boulevard i took a picture through the windscreen of Big John’s car.

Hardly anyone around I noticed odd that.

The area was about two hundred yards from the wheel-less Aston Martin car, and the school on the left was fire-bombed during the last riots.

Just thought I’d mention it like.

John dropped me off at home bless his cotton socks, thanked him and gave him a few nibbles to eat and off he went.

0208foodI got in and spent a good while encouraging things at the porcelain.

Then started to put away the stuff wot I’d bought – good heavens I thought why did I get all this? Bitter orange drinks, cooked beetroot, bleach, BBQ sauce, deodorant, cheese sauce, washing-up liquid, antiseptic disinfectant, cocktail sausages, min franks, microwaveable Ribs, Gotowana, yoghurt, 0209dvdnibbles for the nurses, bacon cobs, mousse, cheapo cakes, biscuits, Scott’s porridge oats just to mention some – and even a DVD Liam Neelson in ‘A walk among the Tombstones’! Well it was on offer.

I saw they had Nicolas Cage’s latest DVD ‘Left Behind’ – but David Saxon told me he fell asleep watching it, so I opted for Liam’s Tombstones instead like.

I had the last piece of me pork pie with some bread and started this diary.

Passed wind a few seconds ago – involuntary like wot we older folk do now and then… Phwoar blimey!!!

Inchcock Today: Mon 19th Jan 15

/ Inchie / 5 Comments

Up about 0345hrs… WC.

No recollections of me dreams again.

WC.

Had a shave and started the laptop. Did some Facebooking and posted to LOMM site.

Had a wash and brush up (they can’t touch me for it!) and assembled the laundry in two great bagfuls ready to take to the laundry.

Then got the bits ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop and the nibbles for the gals at the launderette and the nurses at the QMC. Hard work all this effort to try and be liked innit? Hehe!

0101When I carried the bags of laundry down the stairs One at a time mind I didn’t like the loud creaking noises emanating from the third and second runs from the bottom of the stairs. More to worry about… Tsk!

I got them out of the door and took a photo just in case I pass-out or kick me clogs carrying them, so the police can identify them when they get nicked! Haha!

0102It was even colder than I thought earlier as I plodded on down to the launderette.

The cut-through to Mansfield Road had no yobs lurking and drinking this time – but it was iced over and dangerous. I walked along the edges so I could drop the bags and grab the railings if I did a whoopsidangleplop.

As I got onto Mansfield Road and turned right towards the launderette I thought “It’s awfully quiet here today.” Then it dawned I hadn’t got me hearing-aids in. But I had the right glasses on so not all was gloom. Hehe!

Got in the launderette and had to use two machines to accommodate the washing – two weeks worth including many of the thick long sleeve warm t-shirts that I got from Primark and they would need extra drying time.

0104Mandy gave me a smile and look that said “Oh, the old idiot is back”.

We had a little natter and she changed some notes into coins for me (Not magically).

I got the machines going £6.80 it cost, and there would be £2.60 needed for the drier afterwards.

0103I told Mandy I was off to get me hearing-aids from the hovel.

As I walked up to the cut-through the traffic was building up on Mansfield Road.

Then I had a bit of cheering up granted me.

As I entered the passage a lad on a push-bike came tearing through from the other end and did a whoopsidangleplop off his bike on the ice.

I don’t think he noticed my wide grin and contented look when I asked him if he was alright though… he was. I suggested: “You keep to the road on your bike in future that’s been gritted. If your too scared to go on the road you shouldn’t really have a bike at all should you?”

The look he gave me encouraged me to move on.

Got me hearing-aids and returned to the launderette.

Those thick t-shirts I got are really warm and comfy but it took £2.80 in the drier before they were dry enough to take out. Tsk, hey-ho.

Said farewell to Mandy and struggled back with the bags to the flea-pit.

Put the Hospice stuff and nibbles in me bag and set off on a little walk into Sherwood. As I departed I realised I had to return quickly to the porcelain…

The rumbling innards were giving up and a solid achievement was passed – now me haemorrhoids are bleeding something rotten! Treble Tsk!.

Got myself cleaned up and creamed then set-off again.

0105As I was walking up Mansfield Road I thought how much brighter the sky was today – pound to a penny some snow will descend soon.

Not much traffic now.

Got to the Hospice shop and left the bag of stuff for them and came out and caught a bus into town.

I popped into Tesco and got some bread then as I passed the Greggs shop I espied they were selling bags of Mint Doughnuts at 6 for a quid – so I got one to add to the nurses nibbles at the Queens medical Centre haematology.

0107As I was going into the site I spotted in one of the giant plant pots that the flowers Whatever they were) were forcing their way through.

Always amazes me this every year… nature eh? Here we are minus whatever degrees and these beauties battling away…

The rumbling from me innards was far less now, but the involuntary escapages of wind from the rear end continue – embarrassing at times this.

Got in and got seen to after an hour or so wait. The nurses seemed to welcome me a bit more enthusiastically this week? – Then I realised they were gathering around me to get a pick of the goodies from the carrier bag. Hehe! I told them they had a bag of Mint doughnuts cause I thought how original they were when I saw them in the shop. One of then had a look at the label, put her head to one side, smiled understandingly and pointed out that it said Mini – not Mint Doughnuts! “That’s the first laugh we’ve had all day” another one said. Tsk, I felt such a fool… again!

0106Said me cheerios and as I was walking to the main road noticed a bike locked onto the railings.

The sign at the side of it read: ‘Please do not attach your bike to the railings. ‘Well that sign didn’t have a lot of effect eh?’

I caught the bus back to the City Centre and had a walk around and tool some photos of Bling for the TFZ facebook site girls.

bling1The rings in this photograph are very old, 1960 and 1910?

Don’t know what the stones are, red rubies I suppose guessingly.

I thought the bottom one meant c7th October at first glance?

Pottered around a while then caught the bus back to Carrington. I know I keep saying this – but my pensioners free bus-pass is so appreciated! I don’t suppose David (Snot-bag) Cameron will read this would he?

Slipped a few seeds to the pigeons on me walk back to the flea-pit.

0108I was just thinking I’d seen no Nottingham Street Art to report today – and there it was. Worthy of any Contemporary Art gallery I thought.

The exquisite spacing between the works of art, and how cleverly the artist has chosen to place them on different levels and resisted using house bricks and black bags… Hehehe!

Got in and did not need the WC! Hurrah!. Mind you I had to clean up the leaking rear-end again. Tsk!

Made some microwave sausage sarnies and a cuppa.

Started laptop and updated this ‘ere diary like.

Well now it seems the innards movements are going in the other direction so to speak – solid and stubbornly not wanting to evacuate! Tsk!.

Inchcock Today: Sunday 18th January 2015

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

How I wish I could remember the dreams I’d had during the night –  reckon I must have had many because each time (And there were plenty of them) I got up or woke up I seemed to recall a different dream and swore to myself I’d remember each one to record here.

Now no memories remain. I must force myself to write them down on me notepad at the time in future – mind you…

Stirred and got up an WC’d then made a cuppa. Started laptop and did some graphicationalisationing.

Blooming cold this morning -5c… Brrr!

Vehicles outside were well frosted.

The coughing and rumbling and a-grumbling from the innards is still rampant I’m afraid – oh dear…

Med01Finished and posted yesterdays Diary then did some Facebooking and made a humerous graphic and posted it to Facebook.

I’ve got a double load (two weeks) laundry to do tomorrow and me INR (Warfarin) level tests too.

Just hope things settle sooner rather than later.

I’m occupying the bathroom today and going nowhere. No desire for food really either at the moment… well I did manage a Lion bar earlier in between painful and unpleasant responses to the calls to the porcelain from me innards. Tsk!

I tried to read me book afterwards, but no concentration at all.

Double Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Saturday 17th January 2015

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

Oh dear… woke up several times during the night with the rumbling innards and rear passage giving me bother. Huh!

L Aldi

Jill from Troll Free Zone – A Pearl!

DST

A funny wot I dun and captioned: “Someone really ought to wake him up know!”

Arose (yet again) to visit the porcelain around 0315hrs and decided to give up and started the laptop to finish and post yesterday’s Dairy and begin this one.

The dreams I’d had couldn’t be recalled at all this morning but  know I’d had them and they were frustrating in nature.

WC.

The innards are rumbling and bubbling still – took some bi-carb with me usual medications. Still, the arthritis and angina are not being too awkward anyway… yet. Hehe! What I’m laughing at I’m not sure?

Did some graphicalistioning on Coreldraw while it let me.

Many visits to the porcelain today, the innards are churning and a tad uncomfortable, two really close shaves up to now – not sure whether to risk going out or not yet… might just have a wander around locally if the yobs ain’t around. Or not?

Carried on with me graphicalisationing, dun some funny ones for Facebook Troll Free Zone gals and lad’s in mind.

HOP

Sandra – Packers fan?

Oh dear… just got back from another urgently needing attention message wot I got from me rumbling grumbling stabbing innards – no faux-pars though.

Still not sure if I should risk a poddle out?

I can hear emergency vehicle klaxons nearby – but I’m not going out to have a nosey this time.

At least the BT internet seems to be going alright, although I may regret saying that now that I’ve said that?

Bloomin’ ‘eck, another visit to the bog! Not good this.

Had an email from Nottingham City Council warning me of bad weather coming.

0609snow

The cough now returned and stayed with me all day – Tsk!

After an hour or so the burbling and gurgling seemed to be settling, so I decided a walk into town might be okay. (What a plonker!)

0602roadGot a wash up and set off on me walk.

The traffic at the lights on Hucknall Road was at a standstill.

Horns a peeping and hooting as they jockeyed for position.

It freed up a lot further on near the traffic island and I took a photo 0603roadbecause the sky looked very clear compared with the last few days.

I suppose it’s the wintry weather on its way that I was warned about?

A little bit further up the road, I espied my first piece of Nottingham Street Art on the pavement yet again. I wondered if it was the same culprit 0604artas the other day as it was spotted roughly in the same area as was that dog poo?

I pressed on over the hill on Mansfield Road and down the other side towards the City Centre.

A block of six retail outlets on the other side of the road near the 0605roadHuntingdon Street junction traffic lights I saw had only one business open, the other had closed down.

It was an Art Gallery outlet.

Of all the things I thought.

There has been take-away food, Book shops, Butchers, Estate Agents, Hair dressers, Adult entertainment suppliers and Ladies nail shop but all have failed and gone broke or got out quickly in that row of shops over the last year or so. How can an Art Gallery expect to make it pay?

0606cycleA few hundred yards further down the road the first pavement cyclist came passed me. Again I only just caught him with me camera.

Then I turned to continue on me walk and nearly tripped and did a ‘Whoopsidangleplop’ over one of the uneven pavement slabs.

Undaunted, after using a few well chosen descriptive words I limped into the Victoria bus station and through into the Victoria Shopping Centre (Mall).

A gurgling from within and severe involuntary passing of wind encouraged me to get to the public toilets ASAP!

0610fishPhew… made it in time.

I came out and looked for some ‘Bing’ ‘Pearls’ and ladies fashion items, anything that might interest the girls from Canada, America and Australia on Facebook to take photographs of.

I got six that might interest them. The one of the fish here I put in the diary because I couldn’t believe the prices of the 2.5″ glass fish on sale. £60 (AUD $110.44 – USD $90.86 – CAD $ 108.92) each! Mind you they were probably not glass, something else more expensive?

I poddled down the ground floor and popped into Tesco Metro and got some Cox’s apples, Cooked crispy bacon and bread.

0607artWhen I departed onto Milton Street, between the Poundland and Waitrose shops I espied another piece of Nottingham Street Art.

It doesn’t show very well in the photo, but it was semi-liquid and smelled of curry to me.

Not bad for early afternoon.

0608pigeonI took some photo’s of a jewellery shop window for the girls and went down to the bus-stop and caught one back to the flea-pit.

I sneaked some seed to the pigeons and tool a photo of em.

Walked home and rushed to the WC.

The top of the tap on the sink has split open.

No idea how to mend it. Tsk!

Put me bits away and depression overcame me.

Later I started this diary after having to restart the laptop to get Coreldraw to work.

Coughing painfully well as I pass wind, I did some graphics.

Tonight I plan to have me microwaveable Potato Gratin, bacon and some bread. Or bearing mind me innards… should I?

I did, and it wer lovely.

Paid the price with the usual painful getting up and down to tend to the calls to the porcelain throughout the night. Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Friday 16th January 2015

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

Up at 0245hrs.

Set about making notes of the last dreams I’d had that I could remember and from the scribbled notes on me pad that I must have made during the night?

Bits of last night’s dreams I can recall:

1)

Running about on gangways high above and hanging in the air over fields of coffins growing with people, thousands of people, running between the neat rows of coffins to find their own and standing next to them with arms outstretched and singing  Frankie Vaughan’s ‘Don’t Stop Twist’… while a giant Stalin, pipe in mouth picked the people who had found their coffin up with a giant hooked-toothpick and ate them, then squashed that persons coffin and sprinkled the crushed remains of the coffin into his pipe… somewhere in the background was G W Bush laughing and clapping and giving Stalin some money and a medal each time a coffin was crushed?

2)

I was falling down through the sky towards a river… Some people were in rowing boats and lifeboats with little fishing nets on bamboo canes to apparently catch me in their net and from somewhere anti-aircraft flak was bursting all around me. The bullets/shells seemed to turn into Polo peppermints and I wanted spearmints and was upset about this… never seemed to land anywhere?

3)

I think I was being interviewed for something in a gigantic room with only the interviewer wearing a bowler hat and a pink jump suit, me, a desk and two chairs in the room and nothing else. All brilliant white walls, I could see out of the only window that the world was aflame – no idea who the interviewer was or why I was being interviewed…

Got the laptop on and started this diary.

Did some graphics and posts for Facebook.

WC. Took my medications with a drink of spring water, and made sure I was up in time for the Iceland delivery chappie twit 0900 > 1100hrs.

Took some bags out to the bins and moved them along with me neighbours to the side of the road for collection.

Sorted the long-life nibbles that I like giving to the hospice, haematology, GP and Chemist staff, all in date and okay now. Put some of ’em in a bag and added it to the bits for donating this morning.

0501maggieCame across an old squeaky toy that I haven’t seen for years in the falling to bit writing bureau – anyone remember it? Or should I say her?

I’ve not been in there for years, she looks all grimy and dirty now – No don’t say it! Hehehe!

The bandage at the back had a sell-by-date of Nov 2006!

The Pan Book of Crosswords almost crumbled when I opened it.

After searching for where I’d left me newly bought yesterday super-warm Andy Cap that actually fitted me, I Got me things together and poddled out to walk to the Nottingham Hospice shop.

0502UkraineAs I was on Mansfield Road I noticed the Ukrainian Cultural Centre had put up new security cameras and added the European flag to the Ukrainian one outside. Tried to photo the billboard but the sun was too strong on that side of the building.

They’ve done a nice job of doing the curtains in their flag colours.

As I walked away on up the road, the sun disappeared and it became gloomy, then five minutes along the road and it came out again?

0503SherwoodA bit like it was yesterday, but without the rain I’m glad to say… well we did get a bit.

  Then the first cyclist on the pavement of the day shot passed me and sped off.

I only just caught him in the photo before he turned right off the road – and I was using my old camera which is simpler and quicker to use. If I’d been using the new one I would not have had time to catch him at all.

When I got into Sherwood another git on a bike on the pavement drove at me! No chance to photograph the twerp – off he sped as well. Tsk!

Got to the Hospice shop and gave em me stuff with a few nibbles for them.

Came out and went over the pelican-crossing and down to the bus-stop to catch a bus to Arnold, where I hoped I might find Fultons Food shop had some of me favourite blackcurrant iced-lollies in stock. (They didn’t) Where a lady waiting in the queue informed me that my newly bought yesterday super-warm Andy Cap that actually fitted me had a label and price tag hanging from the back of it!

I did feel a fool, but couldn’t help laughing and telling her about Primark selling them at only £3. (Not that I needed to tell her, the £3 price ticker was huge!)

Ah-well…

0504SherMobilSo I had a walk around for a bit then caught a bus back into Nottingham City Centre.

As we drove through Sherwood I noticed the two regular every-day mobility scooters parked outside the Samuel Hall boozer.

One day they will have an accident coming out of there tipsy like I’m sure!

Dropped off the bus at Victoria shopping centre and crossed over to catch a Bulwell bus, again in hopes that I might find Fultons Food shop in Bulwell Market had some of me favourite blackcurrant iced-lollies in stock. (They didn’t either)

0505cityThe old Victoria Train Station clock nice and regal in the sunshine and I took a photograph of it from the bus.

The passengers were of the shouting variety and one woman who was sat in the ‘Less-mobile-passengers seat was sat on the seat in the aisle side as opposed to the window seat and despite the bus being full with 5 passengers 3 of them elderly having to stand she would not move – totally ignoring their plight! On her mobile for the whole of her trip. Bitch!.

I hate that! I got quiet provoked and bothered. But it was as if we didn’t exist when we spoke to her? Drugs?

0507ArnFulton

When I arrived in Bulwell I mad straight to the Fultons Food store, but as I’ve already said and just remembered saying so said it again, they had no lollies for me! Sob!

I took a good walk around the Bulwell Market that seemed better attended today than of late on my visits.

0508BulM

A stall immediately outside the Fultons store had some really cheapo ladies clothes at £5 a bash! ( $1.52 – AUD $1.84 – CAD $1.81) But not many of the locals were showing any interest – mind you there was a keerfuffle going on at Icelands store with the police removing with difficulty what I assumed was two shoplifters.

0509BulMI had a walk in the Bulwell Market proper and the first stall I came to was selling what looked like specialist toys? Some old, all different especially the ‘Naughty’ dolls that I do not think ought to have been on sale for kids – mind you who his target demographic was I don’t know – but he didn’t like me taking the photograph I can tell yer!

0511BulMobilThere were no prices on any of the items on this stall?

I noticed there were a few mobility scooters lurking around again. One chap who had secreted himself behind the mobile doughnut van was having a crafty can of ale with his mate – but I saw him.

0512BulMobilHow, if you can’t drink and drive a road vehicle with too much alcohol in your bloodstream – is there no law about mobility scooter drivers drinking to excess?

And they do not have to have insurance by law – and they do not have to prove their ability by taking any tests at all before driving, not pavement tax either for them… Shut-up Inchcock! Okay.

0513BulcycliOne driver parked outside the Pound Shop while  was watching and nipped into the shop at a rate of knots I wish I had the ability to copy.

As I turned to move back to the market for a final photograph how the cyclist on the pavement didn’t hit me I still can’t work out. Only just got the git in the photo I hurriedly took of the nasty unthinking selfish ignorant… of dear I’m getting all het-up again.

0510BulMThere is a stall on the market selling crap jewellery that now advertises ‘Cash for you Gold’, as if we don’t have enough shops doing that nowadays Tsk!.

I wandered down near the river Leen, but again the mallard ducks were absent?

Still the pigeons enjoyed their seeds.

I hobbled to the bus-station and caught one back to Carrington, I do love me free pensioners bus-pass yer know!

0514BulbusEn-route the police were blues and twoing it towards the massive Tesco store. I thought I’d get a shot of them, but no they were long gone by the time I’d got me camera out and ready, so I just took a random shot form the bus window – then apologised for making the lady in front jump was the flash went off…

I must say the angina and Arthur Itis have behaved reasonably today up til now. Only the rumbling innards and cough bothering me at the moment. Well, the haemorrhoids too I suppose. but not complaining.

0506BtreeI noticed how the trees were bare as I passed them, but nature wins in the end, soon they will be spouting leaves and seeds to drop off and allow me to slip on them in the rain… only joking!

I noted that the cafe near the bus stop were advertising a Sausage Cob and a cup of tea or coffee for only £4.99.

£4.99! ($7.56) Blimey a bit steep that innit?

As I got off the bus in Carrington the sky suddenly brightened to the North so I took a photograph.

By the time I’d walked the few hundred yards to the end of my street – the gloom had returned. Tsk!

I got in attended the WC.

Had a gargle with TCP – gawd the smell of that annoys some people dunnit – hehehe!

Laptop on and a cuppa made. Of course the BT Internet was playing up – but I fooled into letting me get on the web.

0501aSuzieI realised as I got ready to settle before eating and abluting I’d put on me old slippers that were too tight. The pain was the firs thing I noticed.

Then as I looked down I also realised both the slippers (I must take them to the charity shop ASAP) and the jammy bottoms were tartan.

Just thought I’d mention this – no idea why mind…

Notice the length of the trews? And that was with the top waistband pulled up to about 2 inches bellow me nipples!

Yes, I bought the wrong size.

The innards started rumbling again. Unpleasant.

Took my medications and tried to get to sleep.