Inchcock Today: Thursday 2nd October 14

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04Thurs01

And he thought things were getting better? Read on!

 Thursday 2nd October 14

Up at 0410hrs:  Tended to the ‘Inch’ and what a mess – blood all over me my clothing and the bathroom. Bit of a job to stop it, but managed I think.

WC.

Feeling disappointed at yesterday’s wasted time waiting for the Meals at Home calling to see me and didn’t (I may mention this again, sorry.)

Problems have been caused through their non-attendance:

1) Not getting me walk in, the arthritis is worse this morning

2) My BP must have gone up even further with the angry frustrations.

3) The angina is going again this morning.

4) For some reason I feel more tired this morning than for a while?

5) Stomach ache nasty.

WC.

Went down and started the laptop, made a cuppa and tool me medications.

Anticoagulation level and dosage record had come in the post. I’m on 4.6 INR level, still way too high? Doses reduced for this week again.

WC.

Oh dear, the ‘Inch’ is bleeding again. Went up and treated the little mite again – More painful now. WC while I was up there.

The stomach is grinding and painful. Probably due to holding things in yesterday so as not to miss the Meals at Home personage/s who were supposed to come and didn’t!

Feeling bitter about it now, and uncomfortable with the extra pangs I’m suffering. (Poor old devil!)

Did some Facebooking, and WordPress, Inchcock post creating…

WC.

… Then some graphics to use later.

Did me ablutions and prettifying and got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop, Paperwork for the Nottingham City Council Contact Point and off I wobbled to Sherwood, Not much traffic about there at the moment.

Left me donations and caught the bus into town.

Flippin’ sneezing now.

Walked to the Nottingham Council Contact Point in the main library, took a photo of the slab square.

Talked with the helpful chappie who arranged for the Meals at Home peoples to call and see me yesterday.

Explained to him how I’d waited in for eleven hours but nobody came to see me… adding about the ailments that this failure had caused me. But i kept meself calm throughout.

“What else can I do?” he asked.

“Forget it!” I replied.

“What are you going to do then?” He inquired.

“Drop dead through starvation I suppose!” I quipped with a smile on me face. Adding “I cannot go through that again waiting, holding my water and back passage movements, the Angina starting, the high-blood pressure… never mind, thank’s for your help anyway Sir!”

04Thurs02I poddled to the Chinese shop and got some seaweed sheets, then walked to the tram-stop intending to catch a tram to Bulwell to see if Fulton’s had any microwave sausages in.

However… still being uptight (That’s my excuse) I got on the wrong Tram!  But I did remember to get me travel-pass validated before I got on, because 04Thurs03nowadays everyone has to pay or validate before they get on a tram.

I got off at Cinderhill, which is only ¾ mile from Bulwell, not too bad.

I realised as I got off the tram and started to limp up the long stairs to the road, when this site was being built, I did the night security there, 04Thurs04and got nobbled with a great thick plank of wood that someone dropped over the bridge wall onto me head.

That made think about doing an Inchcock’s True Tales of Woe about it later.

I took a photo of how it looks now. Then it was all mud, yobs and building plant and stuff.

04Thurs05At the top of the steps I noticed the Pub where the gypsies (travellers) and the Jamaican lads had a fight (That I witnesses, I’ll yers all about it in me Tale of Woe when I get it done), one death and seven hospitalised.

I limped along into Bulwell, fed the ducks and pigeons and investigated 04Thurs06the two freezer shops next to each other. Fulton’s first, then Iceland. Bit of luck at Fulton’s, they had some Microwavable Cocktail sausages at a decent price 800g for £1.69 and got some lollies too.

Then into Iceland, got some wholemeal bread thins at £1 each and a ready meal, Potatoes baked beans and sausage for 89p! Only got one though, cause I don’t know if there are any good yet do I. (Been caught out before yer know)

Then up the road a bit to Heron freezer shop, got what I thought was a bargain, ice-cream lollies 6 for a quid. Until I got em home a saw how tiny they were that is.

04Thurs07Walked to bus station and caught a number 17 bus back to Carrington. The road works caused much delay and tested the poor old bus-driver to his limits. I must say he had varied vocabulary of curse words, very impressed I was.

Dropped off and walked to the flea-pit, as I turned the corner I knew something was different – took a few second to think about it then realised: No yobs, Nobody rooting through any bins either!

Got in WC and guess what? A note on the floor from Angela. Whoever she is from the Meals at Home Service. It read; Dear Mr Inchcock, we called to see you today. As you were not home we will call again on Monday between 11am – 1pm. Thank you. Angela.

I put the laptop on, made a cuppa took me afternoon medications then called the Meals on Wheels…no, the Meals at Home Service.

Bit of a farce really, the first woman I spoke to and tried to explain things too did not speak very clearly and she put me onto another gal, who had a better for me to hear voice; Took a while to explain about how I’d called in the Contact Centre and a chap had called you on my behalf telling you that Monday and/or Tuesdays was my hospital visit days and you said you’d call to see me Wednesday.

I stayed in making myself poorly holding my natural actions in for 13 hours and nobody came Wednesday.

I went toady and explained things to the gentleman at the Contact Centre.

I then went on and bought much food to go in my freezer, so no room to have anything anyway now.

I was then put through to another woman, and explained all this again.

After listening politely, she said, well we can come next Tuesday then!

I reiterated that Monday and or Tuesday are my hospital days!

Oh all right, let’s make it Wednesday 8th.

I agreed.

04Thurs08I thought I ought to put this on my online Google diary to be safe; When I did, I realised I’d got a Doctor’s appointment on that Wednesday. But not until 1500 hrs.

I considered crying, but decided against it.

I had to ring them back, and tell the first woman all about it again…

She put me through to a new woman this time, and I explained it all again (Talk about War and Peace), and she said they would be arriving between 1300 and 1400 hrs.

I’ve no confidence in this at all yer know!

I got me purchases out, going soft by now and took a photo of em, no idea why, suppose after the last two days I’m losing it a bit quicker than normal?

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 1st October 2014

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03W01
So much for taking their word they would call to see me!

Wednesday 1st October

Woke up around 0400hrs, cramps gone, but leaving aching bones. (Even typing is a tad painful)

Remembered I’d got the ‘Meals at Home’ person calling today, so I have to remain in all day so as not to miss he/her/them.

WC.

Tackled the Inch with the Clotromozole cream while it was still proud, less bleeding this morning, that was good.

Got downstairs and laptop started, made a cuppa and took medications.

Checked on Facebook and replied to some nice comments. Updated the diary. Then started on a graphic for TFZ.

WC.

WC.

Managed to get two posts and some graphic done.

03W02

13hrs of expecting the Nottingham City Council Meals at Home to arrive – I am a fool or what?

1450hrs: Making myself poorly with holding in me urge to go to the toilet in case I miss the ‘Meals at Home’ person/s who are supposed to be calling today. Determined not to miss them/him/her and give em a reason not to serve me.

Bit frustrating this waiting and not knowing lark.

1510hrs: Still waiting…

WC.

03W03GC blipj152ohrs: Still waiting…

WC.

1555hrs: Still waiting…

1615hrs: Still waiting…

aaaa2WC. Had to relieve myself at the sink. I have gone through two rolls of kitchen towels, a bottle of bleach and a bottle of disinfectant! 

1700hrs: Still waiting…

Called them on the mobile – No answer!

Wonder if I have a valid claim against them?

Bladder bad now.

1712hrs: Still waiting…

1730hrs: No signs of em yet!

1755hrs: No signs of em yet!

1808hrs: No signs of em yet!

To tired to wait any more now.

I’ll just have to call at the Council Contact point tomorrow. Huh!

Nottingham Traffic Collision

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Unpaid WordPress reporter Juan Inchcock Chambers (68) reports that his morning, on Parliament Street in Nottingham, outside the Job Centre Plus offices, a nasty traffic collision took place.

CC02

There was the Lord Mayors Jaguar overtaking a bus parked, as he was on his way to visit the Left handed users Gay Ukrainian Support Centre next door to the Job-centre Plus offices, and this blocked the view of a drunken driver and benefit seeker of an Audi 8, Agnieszka Lukaku (21) who was turning into the premises.

He collided with the Job-centre Plus manager Sheridan Cuthbertson [54] in his Skoda Estelle.

CC03The police and traffic wardens were on the scene within seconds, and Police Constable Mike Steeden, commented: “The Lord Mayors Jaguar has damage to the bumper. The Audi is also damaged, and the Skoda a write off. Charges will follow. Luckily the Lord Mayor was not injured in the collision, although the paramedics insisted in pumping out his stomach contents for some reason? It’s a good thing that the Council no longer use the Bentley nowadays. I believe they sold it cheaply to save on petrol in 2009 to a nephew of the City Treasurer.

The benefit claimant was taken to hospital with a suspected pricking of his conscience.

The Job-centre Plus manager Sheridan Cuthbertson, is suing the Nottingham Council.

The traffic wardens later had their picture taken next to the Lord Mayors Jaguar.

The JCP Manager’s Skoda Estelle was destroyed in the collision. He commented: “At last!”

Late News:

It appears that a mobility scooter may have had some influence on the accident.

Police are looking for a Mr Danny Soz, possibly originating from South London of indeterminate age. The disability Scooter had been stolen from Nottingham’s Midland Railway Station, and later found abandoned outside the notorious Binaround Brenda’s brothel.

Inchcock Today: Tue 30th Sept 2014

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02T01

Wide awake at 0400hrs.

02T02WC.

Remembered bits of a dream; Working at big factory. Management brought a packet of Piccadilly cigarettes to the canteen full of men… asked who they belonged to, I went forward to admit they were mine along with four other workers?

Then I was running around a factory that had bit of many components of places I’d actually worked at.

Then a big interview to sack us all – gets a bit confused here; I’m climbing catwalks above the factory and someone is chasing me with an axe… then leaving the premises being newly sacked, to the applause of the workers? That’s all I recall.

As I stirred to get up, I noticed the blood on me pyjama bottoms. Investigated the ‘Inch’, the blood on it had dried. Until that is when I had to pull back to apply the new cream on. Free flowing now, good job I have plenty of kitchen towels at hand.

Very tender but not so bloated as it has been, I gently massaged the cream in. Talk about Sting! Eventually it stopped bleeding.

Then I had the job of cleaning up the mess. Looks like I might have to try and get some cheapo pyjamas to cover for those that will be going to the launderette?

WC.

Eventually I got down and started laptop, made a cuppa and took me medications. Can’t find me grabber/picker that I bought last week? Mind you, the house is in a bit of a Steptoe & Son state.

The pain in my Inch has now turned into a hot tingling sensation, but still sore.

Assembled my now bigger laundry in two big bags, and set off for the laundry. Mandie in the laundry was looking very tasty again today – and she laughed at me recent medical exploits and that cheered me up no end – for a while.

02T03When I’d got the driers going, I realised I’d forgot to put me rubber balls what Big John bought me. Also I’d forgotten to take Mandies nibbles. Tsk!

I departed and went back to the dump and got her nibbles, and returned to the launderette with em for her.

I set off on me walk into town to the Council Contact point to check on the meals at home system and to have a look at cheapo pyjamas at Primark.

I took the long route into town, passing the alley where the girl got raped earlier this 02T04year, the Arboretum gates and the thousands of student flats. The city was well populated with citizens of the fair Nottingham.

I took  a photo of the alleyway, including as you see in the photo I hope, the condoms, wine bottle, cigarette stubs and food wrappers amongst the leaves.

I limped to the library and spoke with a chappie on the contact point desk. It 02T06Transpired that someone from the Council will be calling to see me tomorrow sometime about it.

I walked through the city centre to the Primark shop and had a look at the pyjamas on offer.

I found a ‘Large’ pair and bought them.

02T09Caught the bus back to Carrington, dropping of early to go see Mandie and show off me pyjamas – only to notice that although the packaging had clearly marked on it ‘Large’, the actual jammies were labelled ‘Medium’ – am I lucky or what? Another job to sort out now!

Got in the hovel and put laptop on, 02T05made a cuppa.

I’ve saved this photo until the last, because I couldn’t help but see the funny side of it.

As I went passed and saw the road sign left at the fencing of the cemetery – pointing upwards! Had to laugh don’t you know.

I take it that only sinners were allowed to be buried in this place?

I did some facebooking which I enjoyed and updated this tripe.

Oh… must remember to put me cream on the ‘Inch’… back in a bit then.

All done – painfully.

0702satbMade me sarnies and ate em.

The cramps started as soon as I hit the linen. Neck fingers and legs affected. Applied lashing of pain gel. Don’t know that I should use so much in one go, but it eased the cramps a bit… or did it go away on its own?

Inchcock Today: Mon 29th Sept 14

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Monday 29th September 2014

01M001

Gorrup at 0430hrs.

WC.

My ‘Inch’ was sore and painful again, took a peep and dried off the blood. Decided I’ll have to go see someone about this and get it sorted one way or the other.

Laptop started, kettle on.

Got going with me LOMM submissions and updates.

It took me until about 0820hrs to get ‘em finished. Which I did despite the old laptop going oh so slowly.

Pottered about on Facebook, some good comments come in on it.

Then posted some photo’s to My Walks of Nottingham and the LOMM albums.

WC.

Another cuppa and a biscuit or two

Then I went upstairs to pretty myself up.

As I was having a good all over wash and a shave, I spotted the blood dribbling down onto me foot!

It took about half an hour to stop it bleeding – so I  decided to go see the GP Dr Vindla to see if I could have a quick word with her for advice.

Got me things ready for the Warfarin tests at the hospital and donating to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, and set off on a hobble to the GP surgery first thing.

The receptionist phoned Dr Vindla, and I was in luck, she saw me straight away.

Anyone not wishing to read of such things please move on to past the Italic writing in red. Thank you.

Embarrassed or what? There she was toying with me Inch, while I silently whistled to meself.

It seems there is a lesion that goes about 2/3rds of the way around me Inch under the foreskin, and it was pouring blood as soon as she touched it.

She gave me a prescription for some cream and told me not to use the bandages for a week. I’ve to go back next Monday to have it looked at again. (She probably wants to take a photo of it for some Fetish site or other?)  Only joking!

She told me to get my INR level checked with the surgery nurse straight away.

I think I heard a chuckle as I left the surgery though…

Booked appointment with the receptionist as I left, for Monday next, and the nurse called me into her room as I did so.

01M04It is a new nurse, not seen her before. I wondered which nurse had left, Nurse Goebbels or Nurse Stalin? At least she had the decency to laugh out loud when I told her of me plight.

Bought a loaf and some cooked meat from the delicatessen shop.

Then I hobbled up into Sherwood to the Charity Shop.

Walked to the chemist and got me new cream for the ‘Inch’

Afterwards I caught a bus into town. Cause I wanted to take the QMC nurses their treats as wot I would have if the surgery nurse had not took me blood instead of them who I would have gone to first anyway… I’m losing this…

01M01Got to town and caught a bus out to the Queens Medical Centre, and gave the haematology nurses their nibbles, and gave em a laugh telling em about what had happened.

The journey was horrendous, I think the driver must have been a keen stock car racer. People were swaying all over the place – in fact one bloke 01M02fell on me! This is a picture I took when I got off the bus, if anyone recognises the driver, best not get on his bus on a Monday morning!

Caught a bus back to town, and went to the library to see if the nice lady who said she would help sort me out with the meals-at-home thingy was on duty. But she was not there, so I left it 01M03until tomorrow after I get me laundry done.

Had a little limp around the slab square then up to the bus-stop back to the hoppit.

I observed a new pay-day-loan type outlet had opened; Just what Nottingham needs that is!

Dropped off and walked to the flea-pit.

Made a cuppa, put me nosh away and updated this tosh.

01M05

The cream is called Clotromozole. The leaflet says it works by destroying the fungus and yeast which has caused the infection.

It is used to treat: Ringworm infections, Skin infections, Thrush and Nappy Rash: I’m not sure which I have got though?

Possible Side Effect: Irritation or a burning sensation – Itching and redness… hmm!

Well, time to get me nosh ready now, pork sarnies with Irish tomato sauce followed by an ice-cream filled lolly.

Must wash me hands well after applying me pain gel, dermatological creams and the Clotromozole cream three times a day.

Hey-ho…

Inchcock Today: Sat 27th Sept 14

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05F001

Saturday 20th September 2014

Up at 0430hrs, WC, tended to the sore bulbous red Inch. No blood this morning thank heavens.

While doing so I remembered some of a dream I’d had, so wrote bits of the memory down to put on here, cause it was an odd one. (Aren’t they all though?)

I was in command of the German Kriegsmarine, and I realised that Germany would not win this war, so I hid U-boats under seashore locations, to use later, and stocked up with ammunition food, and Nazi Youth members.

It became the current time, and our unterseeboots were sinking all the ferries travelling from Europe to the UK.

Then we blew up France’s part of the channel tunnel.

I think we shot down some planes on their way to England as well.

That’s about all I can recall though.

After I get me food delivery, I’ll have to think about going into town and checking out the prices and availability of cameras I suppose. Might try Jessops methinks.

Food delivery arrived an hour late, 3 substitutes and two items missing. Tsk!

0602WC.

Went up to beautified myself; managing to acquire another nick on me mush.

Used me Colgate ‘Herbal’ toothpaste today, if you were considering using it, be warned it tastes horrible!

Set off on me hobble into Sherwood.

It’s getting harder and more painful by the day this walking lark!

Dropped me stuff off at the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop.

Then I went out and to the bus-stop to catch bus into City.

It was an all-around the place bus, so I managed to get some reading on me football book done.

0603Dropped off in the city on Parliament Street.

Very busy today, that was when I realised it was a Saturday.

Took a walk around, and dropped into Jessops photography shop. A bloke talked me into buying a Sony DSC HX50 Camera, with a free carrying 0604case, an Intergral Multi-Card reader, and a Sandisk Extreme HD SDHC 8GB 705268387.

I managed to resist his attempts at selling me a 3 year extended warranty, pointing out I expect not being here in three years according to the doctors.

0605I’d sooner not think about how much I had spent.

Un-bemused at how I got conned into spending so much, I waddled through the crowds to the County Contact Point in the library.

Where I asked about the Meals at Home delivery day, because I thought it might on me hospital days, Monday or a Tuesday. The kind lady said they were closed there at the weekends. But if I could call on Tuesday as I go through to the Queens medical centre, she would call them for me. That was nice of her.

What are the odds that something will happen that causes me forget to do just that?

I hobbled up the arcade stairs to see if the second hand record man has had any luck with finding me ‘Acker Bilks Gotta see mama tonight’ recording on CD. He was closed. Huh!

0606I wandered painfully to Victoria Market for a look around. I asked at two book stall if they had any memories of Stalingrad book, no luck.

The market was almost abandoned, very sad.

I limped along and down the escalator, and out into the streets of my beloved Nottingham. (Cough cough!)

I popped into Waitrose to have a look around, but decided against it when I saw the queue winding down the shop.

I started walking towards Kings Walk that led to me bus-stop home, but ended up taking the long route to it after seeing a fight starting near the cafe there.

I got back to the dumping ground (house) and made a cuppa.

0607Updated this diary – then somehow managed to put the new camera on charge – I hope I did at least. I can’t find anything that tells me it is actually charging. The manual tell me it need a 24hr charge for the first one, so I can check in the morning I suppose?

I took a photo of the new camera on charge with me old faithful but dying a death old camera.

0608Back to the laptop, with another cuppa wot I made.

WC.

Remembered I’d forgotten to get some spread. So no sarnies tonight for me. Good job I’ve got some microwave sausages left to nosh.

I’ll watch New Tricks DVD later tonight methinks.

Take care all!

Inchcock’s Diary: Friday 26th September 2014

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05F01

Friday 26th September 2014

What a mess this morning.

Following a bad night, dreams, waking ups and pain in the chest – I attended the WC around about 0430hrs to find; Blood and tender swelling from the Inch, blood from the haemorrhoids and new blood welt spots on my hands.

I must get to see the GP again.

I should get me letter with details of the Nottingham Meals at Home system today.

o535hrs: I cleaned myself up and came downstairs, wearily I might add, Put the medical stuff in a bag, took it out to the dustbin and moved it ready for collection.

Started laptop and put the kettle on.

WC both ends attended to.

Came down gingerly and made cuppa, then waited for the laptop to finish loading to update this diary.

Medications taken with me cuppa tea, then I sorted out the things for the Nottingham Hospice Shop.

05F02Titivated meself, managing to end up with a shaving cut under each eye, then got ready and set off on me walk into Sherwood to the Hospice shop.

Bit of traffic about today.

The left knee being so bad might not be such a 05F05bad thing yer know; because it takes away yer concentration on the pain from the right knee?

I dropped off the things at the shop and crossed the road to catch a bus to Mansfield. When it arrived, it was nearly full and I had to sit on one of the pull-down seats. I spent the whole journey hanging on for dear life… 05F04hehehe!

I arrived at Mansfield bus station and poddled down to investigate B&M and Pound Stretcher shops for any bargains they might have on offer. Got some cheapo little tins of ham and some nice looking honeyed ham slices from B&M, then got some biscuits from the Stretcher shop.

05F03Took a walk through the shopping centre, and boy was there some mobility scooters about or what! Still, I have to say, although nervous of ‘em, none actually attacked or blitzkrieged me.

I came out the other end, and waddled me way down to open market for a while… this is where I noticed the fine 0506array of mobility scooters on sale.

I ambled my way back up to the bus station, and caught the bus back to Nottingham, dropping off at Carrington. I walked past the car I often looked at as I did so, a Bedford CA van… it’s burnt out now, and the wheels have gone?

Tried to take a photo of it, but the camera would not work, it just took blank shots? Oh ‘eck. Summat else dying? Tsk!

Got into the flea-pit, well tired again and made a cuppa, some ham sandwiches and took me evening medications – then head down and hopefully some decent sleep.

Inchcock Today: Thurs 25th September 2014

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04Thur01

04Thur01a

Up at 0545hrs.

All through the night the porcelain was visited for both activations, bit worrying that.

Bit of blood from the ‘Inch’.

Down and started laptop, kettle on, did the pots, back up to the WC.

I am feeling nervous for some reason this morning, left knee giving gip again.

Updated this diary, then spent 4 hours finishing graphics for the ‘Inchy causes Nottingham Job Centre Disruption – by smiling’ post and posted it. Reacting to four calls to the porcelain during its creation.

Went (slowly) up the stairs, and did me ablutions…

At this point, I was weary of stubbing me toes like wot I‘ve been doing recently. Shame I hit me head of the cupboard door.

Everything assembled (I hope) I set off on me limp into Sherwood, to the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop first.

Then I caught the bus into town. Called into Tesco and got a Cornish pasty and some bread for the ducks in Derby.

04Thur03Then caught bus into Derby. Had a walk along the Riverside, fed the ducks and dicky-birds.

Suddenly feeling drained again, I caught the bus back into Nottingham. Took the scenic routed bus.

04Thur02

A few lurking in Derby

Once the bus got into Beeston, it slowed to a crawl due to the Tram works, which let me have a good read of me book, and nibble me nosh.

In town, the place seemed busy, but I could not see any mobility scooters; skateboarders and cyclist on the pavements yes.

Walked up passing Brain Clough’s statue, where some yobs were fighting with each other, no signs of the constabulary about.

Caught bus back to Carrington, limped back to the flea-pit, just made the WC in time again.

Started laptop, made cuppa and updated this tosh.

Yobboes lurking on the street…

Inchy Causes Nottingham Job Centre Disruption (From 2010)

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Riot001

Riot0001Chaos erupted earlier today at the Nottingham Job Centre on Upper Parliament Street, reports coming in from Nottingham Evening Liar Gazette correspondent Mike Steeden. Now released from prison on a the technicality that he was fitted-up.

Riot04

Juan Inchcock. claimed he was not smiling at all!

Juan Inchcock, a plain living but highly confused 65 year old (then) claimant, made redundant through no fault of his own, was spotted on the CCTV smiling while waiting for his JCP investigators interrogation.

Emergency action was taken, and the JCP management placed the entire office immediately into Defcon-One status.

This involved:

An emergency call made to the local investigative unit.

Who responded with great alacrity arriving on site within 6 minutes of the call.

The local constabulary were informed but took a while to arrive due to lack of officers available.

Group4 security asked their control room to increase the number of officers without delay.

The centre was evacuated, and staff removed to the safe room.

This left the 65 year claimant alone in the offices, apart from two armed police officers with their dogs and a supply of tear-gas and two members of the investigative team.

Both sets of officers were being given cover by Police snipers from across the road at the Chinese restaurant.

Riot03

Artists impression of the kerfuffle when Juan Inchcock was arrested

Unfortunately the simple and indeed non-aggressive natured duck feeding 65 year old claimant was unaware of what was going on, as he had removed his hearing aids in an effort not to look so unemployable at his interview.

The investigators, covered by the armed police officers, approached the 65 year old, and the officers spread eagled the short portly-built Juan Inchcock on the floor – causing him much consternation and fear for his angina, stomach ulcer, and arthritic knees… Juan became confused his biggest mistake was greeting them with a Nazi salute that he thought they Riot02would appreciate.

They searched his carrier bag and person for any offensive weapons, they were suspicious of his ear-wax-remover-spray and his tube of full-strength painkiller gel, and both were taken away for forensic testing.

Riot01They confiscated his walking stick, and removed his packet of seaweed.

They interrogated him about his reason for the unacceptable actions of appearing happy within the confines of a job-centre-plus establishment… and demanded to know why he had carried out this sacrilege.

He explained that he was not actually smiling, but he was suffering from tooth-ache, and this might have distorted his face somewhat.

He accepted a verbal warning from the authorities, passed wind and was allowed home. But it being so late, he could not use his bus-pass so had to walk all the way.

Riot04The alert status was returned to Defcon 3, and the emergency services retired, leaving a warning that the 65 year old if the ear-wax-remover-spray or pain gel turned out to be anything dodgy, they would return.

The 65 year old, now a 69 year old is no longer looking for work today in 2014, but still develops a nervous tic when he hobbles passed the Job Centre Plus, and thinks he can still see Firearm officers in the Chinese Restaurant across the road when he hobbled by?

Inchcock Today; Tue/Wed 23/4th Sept 2014

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03TW01

Tuesday 23rd September 2014

Awake at 0410hrs, chest pains rampant.

WC.

Down at 0505hrs. Laptop went through same procedure as yesterday; When it was supposed to have been loaded fully, a blank white screen. I cried a bit. Then ran the mouse over the screen, and as I did, the stuff came back on as I ran it over where the icons should be?

I fear I’m going to lose everything soon.

I must remember to put the camera batteries on charge.

Made a cuppa and took medications.

I wrote down some notes for an idea I had for a humorous post – but was not so sure it would work. I’ll take another gander after I get back from the launderette this morning.

Did me ablutions, and set off with me bag of washing. (With me knees twinging rather persistently).

Bought a very interesting ‘Nottingham Bygones’ paper to read on the way. There was many articles worthy of a good read in it.

The big Polish gal was on duty at the launderette, I can’t pronounce her name, so I’ve Christened her Bertha.

Big John arrived to do his laundry. Had a good natter about his holiday in Cornwall.

I departed with me now clean laundry back to the flea-pit.

WC.

Laptop started, kettle on, up and put the togs away, WC again, came down and made a cuppa, took me midday medications… then the laptop had loaded itself at last.

Had a look at the notes wot I made earlier about a post idea, and decided to work on it, then create some graphics to support it.

03W01

Wednesday 24th September 2014

WC visits more regular overnight, and have continued this morning.

Inch bleeding again. Tended to, sorry I forgot to mention this to Dr Vindla yesterday now.

Left ear-hole blocked, I must have slept a bit on it. Dropped some olive oil in both lug-holes as usual and pain-gel applied to knees and hands.

19 8 001aDown at 0525hrs. Took rubbish out to bins, checking for any yobs about first.

Laptop on, and made cuppa and porridge with added honey. (By gum I live well!) Took me morning medications.

WC.

Updated this diary.

Received my Anticoagulation Therapy Record dosage from the hospital.

03W02

Apparently my target is NRI 3.5 but I’ve never got that yet. I’m on 5.0 this time. So that explains why I’ve been feeling so cold lately? Or does it? I think the higher the IHR is, the thinner the blood is.

Better try not to cut myself! I might bleed to death, but at least I shouldn’t get a blood clot taking me out. Hehehe, you’ve got to laugh yer know.

03W03

Remembered to take me card today

I must get me things ready to take to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop later. I’ll do it now; back in a bit…

I’m back… oh dear, WC beckons, I’m off again…

Must get myself beautified for me walk, and hope it isn’t too painful today.

0840hrs: Back later folks…

03W041205hrs: I’m back, and it was painful; but not too bad it would stop me hobbling about today.

Walked into Sherwood and dropped me stuff off at the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop. I asked the lay there if 03W03ashe knew where I could get a “Reacher/picker” from. She told me to try the Mobility Scooter shop about half a mile up the road. So I did.

As I approached the shop, I was nervous in case any of the deadly mobility scooter drivers appeared out of nowhere… as they do tend to do to me yer know.

03W04bNone about so I went in. They only had short ones in, so I got one for £10.

Walked back into Sherwood and caught a bus to town.

Limped to the second hand music shop to see if he had managed to get me Acker Bilk’s ‘Gotta see mama tonight’, but he hadn’t.

Walked down through the arcade and went into the Library Contact point and asked them if they knew where I could get details of the Meals at home service. A very nice lady called them for me, and handed me the phone. They are going to send me details through the post.

03W05I wondered through the Slab Square, where I noted, that they had now got G4 security doing the mobile cameras.

I saw two people of the many people sat around the square, were not using a mobile or ipod thingamajig.

Took a picture of the Council house.

Hobbled up and through Victoria, and came out the other end and went into PC World/Curry’s to have a look at their portable DVD players, but they have stopped selling them?

Took an extra painkiller with me midday medications, cause the left knee had started to get worse again.

Staggered to the bus stop and caught bus back to Carrington.

Called in the local Co-op to get some of their special prices Warburton Thins, but the queue was so long, I decided not to bother.

I painfully limped the last leg of the journey home.

Got in, and rushed to the WC. (Just in time) Unfortunately in the rush, I banged me knee on the side of the bath… I believe I said something like; “Well fancy that!”

It’s still stinging now. (Tsk!)

Got the laptop going and updated this tosh.

Aye up… WC.

Started work on graphics for the posts.