Sunday 10th November 2019

Zulu: NgeSonto 10th kaNovemba 2019

23:50hrs: I woke up in need of a wee-wee. The sensation was so strong and demanding, so without any other thoughts, I battled-free of the £300, second-hand, near-dilapidated, gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working recliner. The one that my Xyrophobia-suffering, crooked Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-robbing, when I was in the Stroke Ward, and he fitted new CCTC cameras and searched for my valuables, which he found and took, (I still haven’t got them back yet five-months later).

Off to the wet room, and faffled about a bit panicky, to free Little Inchy in time… The trickle was over in seconds! Ah, now I’m back to the INHBT (I-needn’t-have-bothered-trickling) mode! Yet yesterday morning, I had jets oozing out? Ah-well, at least it was blood and pain-free.

No dreaming last night, that I can remember, anyway. The RAI (Rheumatoid Arthritis) in the knees seems to be on strike: I’ve never had them less painful than they are now! A risky, Smug-Mode-Adopted!

Got the kettle on, and off to the Porcelain Throne. A hard slog, this session. A bit of bleeding and a long time spent again awaiting movements to start, then to finish!

Cleaned up and to the kitchen, where the medications were got ready, and the brew made. I tried to take three photographs and joining them together to give an idea of the panoramic view from the building, but it didn’t come out too well.

I got the tea and medications to the computer and started to update the diary.

But soon had to change plans, some bleeding from the Little Inchy area needed checking out, and I did the Ablutions afterwards.

And a highly successful session it was! Not too many dropsies and the sock-glide battle won. The shower head was not dropped once! Mind you, I didn’t have a shower, but a stand-up wash. Hahaha! Go on, have a laugh! The toothpaste and brush were handles with a certain dexterity, that has not been present for a long, long time! (Things changed later, Tsk!)

Back to the computer and cold tea. Took the medications, and pressed on with the Sunday post updating. This cost me four hours, then another hour and a bit, to amend and correct all the mistakes I found! The reason for the delays were not the shakes, or computer playing up, but sheer carelessness, laxity, inattentiveness and barratry on my behalf!

Serious Point, or Fault I’ve found in me after the stroke: When something new arises, that is of concern of any sort, lost item, forgotten arrangement, something breaks down or fails to work, since the stroke, I get fixated on trying to correct, amend or find out why things have happened. Whatever I was doing at the time of realising the worry or problem, fades into oblivion, the new problematical issue, taking over priority in the brain. This often annoys people who are incapable of understanding my situation, as it must seem to them, that I am ignorant! As soon as the new issue is sorted (if it is), I start to panic over the forgotten earlier difficulty or task not being done again. I have mentioned this to the Speech Therapist lady, who said she would try to get me to see someone who might help me. Being aware of this strait causes self-hatred for doing it, but does not offer any solution in itself. Then the depression at my own actions and inabilities arrives.

I got the blog finished and posted off, then went on CorelDraw to make a couple of Thoughts graphics up for later use.

Then, on the advice of my Cyber-Buddy, Tim, I ordered a small rice cooker, from Amazon.

I phoned Sister Jane & Pete, and the battery on the little-used and hated mobile phone was showing critical! Pete is still awaiting his appointment for the hospital to have his brain-cells ‘Stealing-Brother-in-Laws-Valuables’ removed. Haha! No, no, no! His inner growth further inspected. Fingers crossed all goes well. They were happy I think, at Nottingham Forest’s beating of Derby. And their shares and investments rising by 8.4% so far this year. 

I got Josie’s nosh prepared. Smoked haddock, cheesy-potatoes, tuna, gherkins, beetroot, mushy peas, mushrooms and tomatoes, with a gin & tonic and limoncello dessert. Delivered it to her door, had a quick few words and back to make my dinner. Cheesy potatoes, beetroot, gherkins, tomatoes, smoked haddock, mushy peas, mushrooms… Yes, almost a carbon copy of Josie’s. I had some fresh orange juice and an apple for afters though.

The fatigued feeling came after I’d eaten the nosh. But the washing up still had to be done, so off to the kitchen and sorted it out. It took a longish time, and things were dropsied a few times, as the finger-ends started to lose responses to touch. Fact is, it was a nightmare!

I dropped the washing up bottle, that needed the floor cleaning and making safe again. Various pieces of cutlery, some back into the bowl, others on the floor. The washing-up brush made several trips out of the hand!  But I got it done. Then I stripped off, got the jammies and dressing gown on, and did the hand-washing.

No accifauxpas in doing the washing, but the rinsing-out was a challenge, and my losing grip caused water to get on the floor, several times! Good job I have (well, had) a good stock of kitchen towels in. Hehe!  The wringing out after using the fabric softener, again cause problems, the water flowed down the front of the sink and even over me, thus more drying up was needed. And the dressing gown needed drying out then! Grumph! On the bright side, Arthur Itis was not too upset with all the knee-bending, and no Dizzy Dennis visits, surprisingly! A slight Supercilious-Mode-Engaged!

I got the shirt and gown hung up, and the socks and towel on the airer, and was amazed at my ability to cope with the things I’d just done – but the weariness won, and I settled into the £300 second-hand c1968 recliner, in search of rest and peace. Incapacitated!

The Hustle DVD was put on. For which I stayed awake for almost a full episode, before the nodding-off, waking and rewinding, then falling asleep again cycle started.

Too many moments of guilt for me to enjoy today.