Omnibus in Ode of Oddities Encountered

Up and at it blogging,
Feeling much better, astonishing!
Went to do the Glengettie brewing,
Notice outside was suitable for viewing…
With the morning sun encroaching!

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End Car Park was in use, staggering!

End Car Park was in use, staggering!
Leaves falling down from trees overhanging,
Resistance to use this car park is flagging,
Three vehicles today; is this a new beginning?
Oh, where’s my tea… I’m gagging!

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Carer Carole Came…

And seconds later, the Sainsbury order came in,
Carole to do tablets, the ulcer machine-gunning,
Confused with so much to do at the same time…
But Carole took charge, with a drink of lime…
So I did, took the sorted tablets in no time…
She put the items of food in the kitchen, all in…
Shot off, she was in a rush, but she still cleared the waste bin!

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Suddenly alone again and sulking…
I got the food away, rushing…
Six items short delivered… it’s a sin!
Needed food, I was again burping…
Got a banana and to take off the skin…
Guess what crawled out of it?
A beetle, it was gigantic!

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Guess Who Ordered Wrong Milk, then?
My Accifauxpas in ordering online food…
Continues, with such unimpeachability!
I’d ordered the extra-cream full milk, dude!
One can’t beat vascular dementia, well, not me!
I assure you I ordered it accidentally!
I was not too bothered, well, not overly…
Cause the Grahams full cream milk tastes lovely!
The guilt is now fading… Lip smackingly!


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Back onto the computer again,
The urge for a biscuit or two came…
As I stood up, Dizzy Dennis attacked the brain…
I ended up on the floor yet again…
My language, I admit, was a little profane…
Then I had to struggle back upright again,
T’would have been comical, if not for the pain!
I knocked off the coat… But that is nongermane,
Stuff fell out of the pockets again!…

Getting down and back up to retrieve things was a strain,
I carried on fed-up, biscuitless, now with terrible back pain!
I went for a wee-wee and found a bloodstain!
In agony now… should I try cocaine?

Part of the Inchcock Make Them Laugh, In Ode Series

I’d shoot missen, but I’d only miss!

13 thoughts on “Omnibus in Ode of Oddities Encountered

  1. A proper omnibus on oddities encountered, as faithfully presented to a worldwide audience. That photograph taken from yer windowage does appear to show a giant falls of Glengettie-golden shades of tea. Hard to mistake, it is right there in the upper righthand corner. Is it something new? Is it commanding the attention of Oxford, Cambridge, and the University of Nottingham? Astonishing. Fortunately, the sun shone on the waters to give it a yellow hue, hue know? This should also bring down the price of Glengettie to a few fake farthings. Whateth thinkage yer?
    The parking spaces of note seem to be allowing a record number of automobiles to park for free and to have ready access to the Woodthorpe Obelix. Only one red car, but it is located at a strategic location. Do you think that tourists who want a good view of the great falls of Nottingham might be taking advantage of such convenient parkage? No doubt in my mind.
    Hello Carole sayeth Billum. Clearing the waste bin amidst an onslaught of patients to visit. Now there is the mark of a diligent medical helper/carer.
    That banana beetle is most enormous, Sir. Perhaps you are eager to be a rescue house for banana beetles who have no home.
    Sainsbury seems also to be having some problemos with the logisticos, we are also having acertain amount of trouble obtaining certain common items, such as cotton pads. Perhaps it is a late result of the South having lost the American Civil War. It could also be a result of the onslaught of COVID and all its nasty relatives here, there, and most everywhere. Wot gives?
    Extra cream whole milk is also a favorite of HRH Lisa. Perhaps HRH could contact an HRH in the UK to give you priority treatment.
    Good to see yer ID for both Anticoagulation matters and for your election to City Council. Maybe yer could do something about the Sherrifs in town?
    Wishing you good luckage in the upcoming week, the one that begins on this coming Monday. Well…now…hold on… It is already Monday in the Ham of Notting. I think that Cincinnati and Nottingham should be in the same time zone. Perhaps a time zone in the middle of the Atlantic Pond. I shall call Joe fortwith. It shouldn’t present any problemos?

    • Dang well spotted and pointed out, the Glengettie connection there Billum!
      I had to Google Obelix, which seemed a good idea as I no idea what it meant… I do now.
      ‘Banana Beetle Rescue & Rest Home’, I like it!
      I’ll be seeing Carole on Wednesday, and will pass on your message. I’ve bought a pot of Duck Pate with Orange as a means of thanks, which she will collect on Mittenwoch, bless her.
      I loved the South being blamed befor Covid – yet another out loud laughter making scripting from you good self!
      I shall thinketh of HRH when I put the milk in my next mug of Glengettie, Sir!
      A new Time Zone, great idea! Hehehe!
      The BZGC zone?

      • The world-famous Glengettie falls, spectacularly rare and worth the journey to view this absolutely astonishing spectacle. Some people will try to say that these are deciduous leaves, what do they know?
        At first, I was thinking about the Thorpe of Wood as a giant spectacle like the one at the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Then I realised it was my old friend Obelix from the Asterix and Obelix French comics. Either way, it works, and that is the main objective, innit?
        Banana Beetles make the very best pets and they need a nice home. They don’t eat too much of any banana, so be generous to them and they will appreciate you.
        HRH Lisa enjoyed that explanation for the current cotton pad shortage. I simply call it as I see it — an answer to a question. Give me an answer and I shall construct a question that fits. It is what words are for, of course.
        HRH is a friend of the creamiest whole milks, the ones that remind me of the milkman who would leave the bottles on the porch and take the empties to their truck. Simpler times are still my favorites.
        Why shouldn’t we be given the opportunity of picking yer own time zone? There are 24 to go around and I say that the choice should be in the domain of each time-zone afficianado. Much as the way I feel about whole, creamy milk. It’s the voice of wisdom on a crazy planet.
        BZGC has a proper ring to it, a potential ODE?

      • Well, they know these leaves are deciduous, Billum – even if they be not so, they believe it so. I think?
        I think I’ve worked it out why there was a previously not recognised banana-beetle in the giant ones delivered, Bill – Cocaine… The came from Columbia?
        BZGC I hoped, would be found in one of your future blogs.
        HRH would have loved this sinful, scorned on, but gelightfully tasting full cream milk. I’m definitely drinking more Glengettie, 99, and Thomsons Punjana while the milk lasts.
        Dentist and Cardiolgist to be visited in the morning (Wednesday), Sir, first one at fearsome dentist 09:00hrs.
        Thursday, the Doctors at 10:00hrs… I hope I can remember what she looks like, its been that long. Hehe!
        Then Saturday, to the Overnight Chemist, for the Covid Booster. 12:15hrs.
        By the way, not that want to brag, but yesterdayus shave produced… wait for it… Only Two nicks! Smug-Mode-Engaged.
        May Humira Huey continue good to do, for you!

  2. Glengettie is brewed from leaves and some people see their future by reading tea leaves, so it seems to me that you could place a pot of hot water under that Glengettie falls and have enough tea for a couple hours?
    Hope yer doctors recognize you.
    Good to get that booster, cocker. I still fail to understand what the antivaxxers believe so fiercely to avoid the Angel of Death. Some over here refer to Dr Fauci as Dr Fascii. It takes all kinds.
    Only two nicks is worth reporting. Good on ya, mate! Smug for all it’s worth.
    Humira Huey, I like that one. I get to inject myself this Freitag. Next year I can order 90-day supplies. Convenient for all involved.
    Cheers at yer, kind Sir!

    • You sre s larf with yer whimsickles, Sir. Much appreciated. I hopeth me INR is not low again, the enoxaprin injecctions are harder to do nowadays with the shaking, and usually four injections a day is needed, not done it for a while, just checked the date on the stock to hand… okay January 2nd 2022.
      Excellent news on Huey Humira supplies!
      TTFN and love to all – furres included. ♥

      • I likes to fashion larfables, a worthy habit in my way of opinaging. Huey Humira is easy with me, I just remove a protective shell found on one side of the jabber (marked with a number 1), then the protective shell on ‘tother side (marked with a number 2 for some uknowable reason). Next step: grab a bit of tummy flab and wipe it with an alcohol pad and hold the side marked with that number 2 perpendicularly to said flab tab. Then, push the button at the side marked 1 and watch a white guage move from the 1 side to the 2 side. When you have watched this guage for 10 seconds, you will have noticed that the white segment has stopped moving. Pull apparatus out and pop it into a container labelled “SHARPS”. At this point I get to wait for two weeks before repeating these instructions.
        All and each of us — including furries — send much love. ♥

      • Just two (2) days before I self-inject Humira into some fatty tissue. Good to heareth that Enoxaparin and Humira are following a familiar technique, Yer just get more practice than meself.

      • Hahaha! I’m just greedy, Billum. Currently doing the blog fer today… interesting Doctors phone call, and amazed at the dentist visit, Sir. Again along the lines of… ”What the ‘eck is going on!” Nowt serious. Hope all doing okay your end Sire. ♥

      • Reminds me of that famous Chinese curse — living in interesting times. I shall let yer know “What the ‘eck is going on!” as soon as that information becomes available.
        Nowt serious on this side of the Atlantic waters, and that is a very good thing, me thunks.
        All well here, including furries. Sweet Morpheus has visited twice in the last 24 hours. Now t h a t is good news most certain.

  3. That jolly decent of you Sire Billum. You recognising my plight of oersistent confusion is much appreciated.
    Well thunk of the inactivities of mother nature and the Government over there, not too far away from Ohio.
    Great news on the Sweet Morpheus frontage, Sire!
    Msy fings continue being kinderer to you all!

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