Day: 6 November 2025

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First, the Dandylion & Burdock error…
We had no fridge, but a larder,
Built under the stairs, to keep food cooler,
To get the milk, I saw something higher…
Dandelion & burdock, not the usual ginger beer,  
Took a swig, and dropped the bottle, oh, dear…
And the mess would make Mum even angrier!
But the taste! It was double-strength vinegar!

Mum gambled, wanting to win using an accumulator,
She sent me to a house on Derwent St, Mrs Moore, 
An illegal bookie, used by many a local gambler… 
To put her bet on, of 1/3d that’s now 17½p,
That night, Mother, we didn’t see…
She’d gone to Bingo on another gambling spree.

She took me to the washhouse, laundry,
I waited in my pushchair agreeably,
For two hours, Mother had absconded…
I felt sure that she would return to collect me,
Waited until the washhouse was closed,
A lady then approached me…
Have you been abandoned?
“I think so” – “Did you come with Frannie?”
“Is that Francis, my mummy?”
Yes, Gerrinto yer pushchair she ordered! 
So I did, why had mam left me, all bewildered?
“Fancy leaving you, yer cheeky, but only a toddler!”
Well, I was known as a little troublemaker,
We got home, unfortunately, no mother.
The lady spoke with the nextdoor neighour,
Mum had gone to visit the bookmaker,
Why she left me was never answered,
But a few days later, it transpired,
Mother returned, said sorry, I’ll tell you later,
All a part of my lucky life – Zipperdeedoda!
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Real problems again with the computer. Not yet resolved…. but that goes without saying.
I was struggling and getting deeper into another mess as I tried to grasp what I’d done when I lost my entire word-list file. I spent practically the whole day on it. My stupidity cost me so much time and gave me so much internal anger and frustration.
Depression Darius was a 100% attendee. No, I tell a lie: High Mood Horis did visit late in the evening for a short while… when I reached the stage of realising my problems and my inability to solve them, and decided to give up. This encouraged me to have another go at them on Wednesday morning.

I did take these early-day snaps, but I can’t recall why or when for certain. So much of the depressing day was spent on trying to access the Word files that I’d stupidly somehow sent to either the MS Cloud or Dropbox… There was an empty reminder pad when I got around to this on Wednesday morning.
Ah, yes, the progress and vandalism of the tarmacing of the fences and equipment on the path that goes from the flats up to the Woodthorpe Grane Park. Yobboes had tipped over about 50% or more of the green plastic fences. Some equipment was kicked or pushed over on its side. Then the best shot, well, saddest really. My beloved tree copse. The changing colours brought on by the arrival of autumn looked so beautiful. If anyone is thinking of visiting Nottingham, I suggest they bring some drugs to bribe the knife-wielding muggers and a few cans of pepper-spray. It goes without saying that a stab vest would be advisable as well.

Despite being so busy, it seemed to be crawling with failures, impossibilities, frustrations and bouts of Depression Darius that were long, wearying and really deep. I was amazed when Carer Ejaz called for the first evening medication call. I had no memory of his lunchtime visit whatsoever. Just a headful of so many problems that had disoriented me for the entire day, well, from when I cocked up the Word files saving. But that was in the morning.
Ejaz showed me an email he’d sent to his office about the chemist refusing to issue the Phorpain gel and something else. But we can’t find out why. Another problem to add to the list in my head.

After Ejaz departed, I got a visit from
I could see no reason for this. I’ve failed totally to work out what I’d done with the cloud issue; I was in more pain with the left knee than I have been for months. But could not work out where from. The fractures? Cartilage Chloe? or Arthur Itis. The type of pain seemed different to usual. So, I assume it was from the fractures, and maybe Chloe as well. Because walking and lifting the left leg caused pain. And of course, I am taking extra painkillers to counter this, because of the refusal to issue Phorpain gel from the pharmacist. I’ve no idea why. The Carer deals with the medications nowadays, but poor Ejaz can’t seem to find out why either. Which is possibly getting to me more, I suppose. There may be some logical reason. But no one is telling me why? But I’ve always tried to keep the painkiller taking to a minimum. Not now, though. Could this have affected my high BP?
Another mystery from Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Sandra’s Seizures, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Dank Depressing Darius, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhoea Leslie, or the Fata Morgana. With Cathies Catheter Contraption, computer cock-ups, Cartilage Chloe, Arthur Itis, Blood Pressure exploding, Mangling Memory Malcolm, Twiching Neck Nigel, the Neurologist appointment to organise, transport to arrange and money to pay for it (got to be cash), Accifaupas, Whoopsiedangleplops, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. So, the unexpected arrival of Horis was most welcome, but didn’t solve any of my problems. But did ensure for 20 blessed minutes or so, this alien to me, but not Horis, ‘Sod-em-All’ attitude prevailed. Horis evaporated, and that sinking down into the claws and grasp of its undescribable. Bringing different responses each time. None of them was nice, but this time it was horrendous.
I just thought I’d mention it.

Horis was present as I started eating my daily meal. Smoked mackerel fillets in BBQ sauce, with some more sauce added from a bottle. Chip Shop Style Chips, a bread roll, and some absolutely horrid, tasteless petits pois. The brand, which I thoroughly recommend that you avoid, is ‘Duacy’.

Took the dishy to the kitchenette to be washed.
I did my bestest to try and get a couple of night views from the open window.
Took a shot to the left of the first one, eyeballing a lot of red lights on the horison. Or it could have been caused by my unsteady shaking hands. I dropped a tray while washing them up. Was playing up tonight. When I got settled to watch some TV, I dropped the remote control twice, and a bag of crisps I was eating. Humph!

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TTFNski, thanks to you all!
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GOOD MORNING!
05:10hrs: Guess who came to me this morning when I stirred back into imitation mock-life, and I was removing the nocturnal catheter pouch from the day bag? Realising I’d had another nocturnal seizure, when the sour, caustic, acidic-tasting upsurge of gas from the innards reached my throat, mouth and nose, the moment I bent down to the bag valve.  
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This time, I was totally uninterested, unconcerned, couldn’t care less, I was well laid-back about it, Horis had installed his ‘Sod-em-all’ attitude firmly in my brain! This lasted for about 30 seconds! Huh!
But it was good timing, as I was still standing right next to the hospital bed. I logged this incident after doing my ablutions. (Used an old photograph). A gentler fall would not have been possible. What’s more, and not withstanding, besides that, it may have stung a smidgeon, certainly not a lot, but there was no bleeding! I almost enjoyed it!

, bless him, returned when I started doing the ablutions. Which didn’t go too well, but I couldn’t have given a Monkey’s Chuff. 
A couple of cuts shaving, I dropped a razor and nicked the end of a finger —recovering it… the razor, not the finger. Then I dropped the same one again, and it bounced about and hid right behind the toilet! The teeth and gums bled a little too profusely. And I gave my head a little clout against the sink edge as I bent to pick up the dropped plug.

Then made a start on yesterday’s blog, without any notes scribbled during yesterday’s horrible day, not knowing that today was going to be worse.

As I took this snap of the morning view, who had been previously known only to come to life overnight or on waking, kicked off as I was going through the door to put the kettle on. And, joined in and shoulder-charged into the door frame.  

Carer Nirma arrived & checked that my BP results had been recorded correctly—they hadn’t, but she spotted my error and I corrected it. Then, the prescription medications were issued. Barely any Photpain left in the last tube, we’ve been having to cut back, which means me taking more painkillers, which I didn’t want to do. The mystery of why they had been taken off of the prescription list remains a mystery to me and Carer Nimra. She applied a little gel to the knee. Bless her. I said I’ll ask Ejaz to phone the chemist to find out why they rejected the order for Phorpain & Peptac for me. A food order from Ocado arrived.

Nimra took the bags into the kitchen for me; there were a lot of them!
This photo shows Marmite popcorn, tomatoes, chicken sausages, wholemeal rolls, and some Polish cooked sausages. The second one, cheese puffs, Marmite puffs, Marmite cheese blown-balls, and Flora no-butter, all vegetable butter, with a fantastic taste, too! It tasted better than any butter. And nurses’ coffee drinks. Beefy Drink.
Vegetable puffs, a sliced Milk Roll loaf, tasteless Daucy peas, pickled mushrooms, and shortbread bikkies, other biscuits out of view. This Jason’s sourdough ciabatta sliced loaf was on offer. It felt like a housebrick… Hope it tastes nice, even at a special offer price.

I got the computer on and had a mind-blank —a total one! I just could not remember how I got into the cloud to open it yesterday! The difficulties and problems were brewing up. And…He stayed unrelenting for about five hours!

I lost hours trying to recall, and during that time, Depression Darius deepened, as I failed to work out what I did yesterday. It was suddenly time for Ejaz to come on his longer call — laundry, phone calls, letters, etc. — so the computer was used to find telephone numbers, contacts, etc.

So this blog sort of went out of the running, to be replaced by mega frustrations.

I asked if he could ring to find out why the medications had been denied. He called in, and I got the message that the lift they had kindly arranged for me to the Neurology appointment had to be cancelled, and they told him to tell me to cancel the appointment. I mused over this.
Firstly, I am not confident walking around in fear of the seizure coming on. Especially getting a tram to town and back to the flats on my own.
But I didn’t want to miss this appointment I’d been waiting months for since being notified of it, and cancelling with one day’s notice seemed wrong. Also, cancelling the Easy Link bus at short notice would mean I would still have to pay. And next time I needed them, I would not be in their good books to get a lift again. Ejaz took the laundry down for washing. And, bless him, rang the chemist about the medications. He told Ejaz I had to ring the Doctor. Ejaz then rang the Doctor’s for me. He told Ejaz to tell me to email them my DOB, Email, & Medications needed. I got an email back, saying it will take up to 48 hours for them to issue a prescription to the chemist. Life has become so complicated!
Ejaz and I tried to find a 40 bus timetable; well, we did. But couldn’t find a way to get tomorrow’s timetable up without including many bus numbers we’d never heard of. I’ll just have to come back on the tram to town from the hospital. (I think I know how to get up to the tram station above, there is a tiny lift I can use), Then, in town, get a 40 bus back to the flats. Wish I had my own pepper spray to take with me as I walk through the City Centre. I bet you it’ll be during the rush hour as well. I’m a little nervous of having a seizure and walking into traffic, on the bus or falling over, on my own. My mind is so muddled with everything happening.

I’ll try to update this in the morning.

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I’M NERVOUS FOR TOMORROW
Only for the getting home
part of the day. Hope I do
not have a seizure. Or a leak
in the catheter, or take a much
dreaded tumble en route.
Travelling on trams, and then
a bus, which will mean waiting
in the dark at transport stops.
And hobbling through some  
dangerous areas of town.
Hoping that I can laugh over
writing this when I get home
safely. Crossed fingers.
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