True Tales of Woe

Records wot Inchcock has set

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IR02Record 1: Birth

Inchcock was probably the first just under 3lb baby to have his mother tell the mid-wife to “Throw it in the Trent!”

Record 2: Absconding

He ran away from home at six years of age – gone for six hours, got scared and returned to a good belting. Not for running away that was encouraged, but for getting caught and the police bringing him back and waking up all the neighbours.

IR01Not that the belting upset him, it was the fact that no one had missed him that hurt.

Record 3: Being forgotten by his Mother

He’s been told of, and some he can remember. The wash-house, the Bingo stalls, the Cinema, the Chip shop, and the relatives houses are just some of the places she left him to return later to collect him, or usuallt someone would take him back home.

The one he remembers with clarity was a day trip to Mablethorpe and she left him in an arcade and caught the train home. Give her credit though, she did remember when the train got into Lincoln and she informed the police. Who sent a PC to collect him and scare him to death giving him a lift in a black maria to Lincoln to be rejoined with his mother who wanted to know immediately if he’s won anything on the machines.

Record 4: Boxing

Young Inchcock believes he still holds the record for any boxer at the Meadows Old Boys Club – he lost every bout and never got beyond the second round.

Record 5: Football

He definitely holds the record as their goalkeeper, albeit as stand in when they played Corpus Christie School in a cup match. He still insists that the third of the thirteen goals they scored was not his fault.

IR05Record 6: Go-Karting

He was the first person to tip over a Go-Kart at the new amenity in Skegness.

Record 7: Falling asleep

Perhaps one of his best records and least challenged by others was his trip to Mansfield for a job interview by bus.

IR04aHe fell asleep and woke up at Chesterfield, where he had to pay the extra fare of course.

He got soaked in the rain waiting for a bus back to Mansfield.

He then fell asleep on that one and got off at Sutton in Ashfield.

Again he got soaked waiting for a bus to Mansfield.

When he arrived at the interview they told him he’s got the wrong day it should have been the day before!

Record 8: Shot

He was the only Security Guard in 1988 to get shot by an intruder.

IR03Record 9: Hernia repair

When he went into hospital to have his hernia tended to, they found he had bladder cancer, haemorrhoids and a prostate growth.

He still wonders how they found the haemorrhoids problem?

Record 10: In and out of hospital

IR04When he went in to have his new mechanical ticker valve done, they told him he’s be in for three to four nights.

After two nights they told him the bed was needed for an emergency and sent him home. He had to ring his sister and brother in law to give him a lift. Agony!

 

There are probably many more records that he holds, but he only got as far as this when he had to run to the WC and fell up the stairs.

The paramedic is with him now.

A Nottingham Lad’s True Tales of Woe: Part 33

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Stanley Matthews, or Jonah?

NCS01

Where I was working at the time

It was on a very heavy muddy wet playing field come pitch, come quagmire on Melbourne Road Park in Nottingham that I made my first (and only) appearance in the Nottingham Thursday Football League, for the Nottingham Co-op Society Butchery Team.

It was not a planned appearance – although I had paid my 3/6d (17½p) annual subscriptions to the Nottingham Co-op Butchers Thursday League Team (in those days most food shops used to close half-day on a Thursday) I never really expected to get chosen for the team, and used to go around with my kit in a carrier bag, just in case of emergencies or injuries to any of the other lads. I used to come in handy for making the half time brew, bucket and sponge stand-in, first aider, and general toss-pot/spare prick.

That was until a Thursday, in 1961, after about two years of following them, in the hope of ever getting a game like a lamb. (By then I’d given up even taking my kit with me).

NCS03When to my astonishment, I was asked to play in a cup match against ‘Wigfall’s First Eleven’. (Wigfall’s Rentals was the forerunner to Curry’s for those who cannot remember) The reason for this request was partly that the horrible weather had deterred many of the regular lads from turning up, and my exceptional footballing skills coming to their attention. (Okay I lied about my exceptional footballing skills coming to their attention!)

I recall going around scrounging bits of tackle from all the lads – and what a sight I must have looked!

The shin pads must have been made for Godzilla, the black shorts dangled below my knees, it took me five minutes to roll up the sleeves of the black & white striped shirt to my fingertips, and the best they could do to get me a pair of size 8 boots, was a size 10 pair – and they were split down the side, the studs came through to the soles of my feet, they hadn’t been worn for so long, the leather didn’t bend anywhere! We found some old rope to use as boot laces.

And there I was, feeling proud and chuffed, but looking stupid, ready for my surprise début in Nottingham’s Thursday League!

Was the world ready for this I thought!

Into the fray!

NCS05

Obviously not the actual bucket. But it did look just like this one here

The bad luck started as I ran out of the locker-room (I say locker room! it was the groundsman’s old tool shed really) I tripped over the step, causing the nails in the studs to dig into me foot – but that pain soon disappeared when I landed face down (I still had to carry the bucket of water and sponge to the touch line you see, they insisted) banging me head on the rusty bucket, then as I was just getting over the embarrassment of my and the opposition’s team’s inane laughter at me, I became aware through the onset of pain in me left leg, that a mongrel dog was chewing on it!

NCS04

Apart from the fact that these boots are softer, cleaner, have laces in and are a different colour, they are like the ones wot I wore!

Back to the changing room (tool shed) to clean myself up a bit, stop the bleeding, and put some cardboard between my feet and the rigid leather stud-nails intruding crippling oversized boots!

Being the little warrior that I was, I soon returned to commence my chance to impress on the field!

This plan somewhat fell down a few minutes after the referee allowed me onto the quagmire of a field – I was to play at left back, and seconds after taking to the field, trudging through the mud, I managed to lose a boot!

NCS02

This picture reminds me of the day.

This did not stop my tackling this 16 stone, shire horse-like hurricane of a Wigfall’s forward who was belting towards goal, with the football looking like a marble at his feet, (God knows how he actually managed to run in that quagmire) from facing one of my best ever crunching tackles.

Not that I remember much about it, until the St Johns ambulance man bought me back to consciousness, and bandaged me broken ankle, and stopped me split eye from bleeding, in readiness to take me the hospital.

Apparently, they tell me, the wondrous Wigfall’s giant centre-forward had just put out his hands out knocking me over into the mud, trampled over me and scored a goal!

The ref didn’t even acknowledge any foul, blew and pointed to the centre circle to restart the match. (He probably thought better of upsetting the man-mountain forward… wise ref that!)

I was never asked to play for them again – the team lost four – nil.

But I was allowed back to carry on (When I got out of hospital) as bucket and sponge man.

I think their writing Jonah on the petrol tank of me motorbike was naughty.

Inchcock’s Depressive Poorly Rhyming Outpourings

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05 01

Here are a few thoughts the idiot has had this morning

When I was told Mother greeted my arrival with “Throw it in the Trent”,

That 3lb bundle of blood covered flesh had started life in torment,

That was the start of my enthusiasm and hopes rapid descent,

She’d keep running away and that cheered me up just a tad,

But I had to do the shopping cleaning and running after our Dad,

 

I didn’t mind because he was a firm but very fair man,

When Mother returned was when the stealing and hassle began.

I was bullied at school and Dad told me I had to fight back,

I lost so many teeth I didn’t have to worry about dental plaque.

 

To those at school education it was a mythical creature,

By those at school, I mean each and every teacher,

At about 6 I got thrown in the canal, always been afraid of water,

I’m sure when eventually rescued I was three inches shorter.

 

Left school at 14 as thick or thicker than a plank,

Met Big Ruth who was built like a pretty tank,

She taught me things that she called a prank,

After that I walked with a bit of a swank.

 

Mother got arrested and Dad moved house, I went into a lodging house,

There was a bloke lived there name of Peter Klaus,

Who introduced me to the local Home Ales House,

Where I would learn to give my liver a regular dowse.

 

Years of alcohol abuse followed, but many a happy time was had,

Eventually I realised that this was expensive and for my liver bad,

Of course I was still a seeking adventure young lad,

So I applied to join the Army and off to Aldershot, was I raving mad?

They threw me out for medically it was me liver, and that was sad.

 

When working in Security, I became their only officer to get shot.

No sick pay with them, I nearly ended up in a squat!

Made redundant years later, working for an employment agency,

They kept underpaying me wages, for the hours that I’d worked,

I left because I was angry annoyed and irked.

 

Haemarroids grew from me bottom end more than a bit,

The ticker-valve packed up, took em months to find it,

Arthritis in the hands and knees and then cancer I could spit,

Duodenal ulcer, hernia, two hearing aids, and high BP hit,

Then came a judicial writ.

 

They replaced me aorta valve with a mechanical one,

Then me reflux valve was sticking, the son of a gun,

My penis became enflamed and apparently rotting it would seem.

But they got it under control with the use of Dakacort cream.

 

No one visits me at home nowadays at all, don’t blame them though,

If you saw my hovel, it’s somewhere you wouldn’t want to go,

Depression is possibly the worst of my ailments you know,

Then the definite worst I suffered a day ago…

My laptop is dying and Coreldraw corrupted,

That is unquestionably the worst you know…

Inchcock Today: Wed 22nd Oct 2014

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02 04

But got a lot happier – Then he sadly and unfortunately became quiet a lot sadder as the day and his Coreldraw programme came to a bitter end!

Warning: Descriptive revelations of medical problems and applications follow in the diary. I Thank you.

Sprang awake at about 0240hrs – this time I realised why from the pain from rear-end haemorrhoids – I think I blew myself awake with a violent emission of wind from me anus and the pain woke me up – the aroma wasn’t very relaxing either?

I was down drinking a cuppa and on the laptop by 0250hrs. Then AVG decided it had to update – at 0400hrs it had finished updating!

Still, it gave me time to concentrate on me ‘Inch’ medicationalising. Hehe! Only the tinniest amount of blood this morning and the swelling has gone down – a pity in some ways I suppose I enjoyed that bit of extra girth while it lasted even if it was so painful.

WC.

0430hrs: Got yesterdays diary finished and posted, took me morning medications, passed wind (I haven’t stopped since I got up – but this was a serious contender for being classifiedas volcanic!) painfully and felt the warm wet sensation within seconds form me rear end. Went up and cleaned myself, applied extra cream.

The doctor did try me on the capsule thingies a while back, but I just could not get em to stay in, so I manage with the PKs and cream.

Blooming cold today.

Waiting in for me food delivery then going to go to town and see if I can get Blood Red Snow from the library or book shop if necessary. I’ll take me camera just in case owt interesting occurs. Mind you, they are pulling down the old BBC building over the next three days, the Vic Centre bus station is closed, might get a photo of that if I can get to see it when I hobble passed. Bet that causing a few frayed tempers and mucho congestion.

Morrison’s van driver just rang – he’s going to be late. Trees blown down on the A453 and an accident. Ah well, not his fault but annoying. I hope I can still get into town cause I need me little walks to encourage the ticket to keep going a bit longer and I really would like to find and read that book.

Hey-ho.

The Mail man commeth.

0303Letter from bank about me insurance – Letter from Inland Revenue with a little cheque returned from me tax overpayment and five leaflets for nothing I’m interested in.

Set off for a walk into town and took some nibbles for Mandy at the launderette and the staff at the chemists, dropping them off as I passed them. Mandy liked her lollies.

0304I noticed how the Nottingham In Bloom display was getting better. Hehehe!

Tiny bit of drizzle and the wind had died down a touch.

When I got to where they are demolishing the old BBC building I remembered to take a couple of photo’s.

0304aI plodded on through a busy city centre in places and seemingly abandoned in others?

Got to the bank where the queues were horrendous. Being late thanks to Morrison’s (Not their fault really though) meant it was lunch time when I arrived.

A very nice lady told me to take a seat and she would be with me shortly as i was at the end of the queue?

I suppose it was me dynamic masculine looks and young body that made her help me. (Cough cough!)

She banked me tax cheque and told me about the insurance and to come back to see them when it was due again.

I like this being been nice to lark I can tell yer!

Then when I mentioned I had a Penny Bank account from 1963 that I could not access, she told she had been trying for her own customers without luck. When I mentioned the thought of appealing to the European Human Rights people – she only went on the interneat and got me the address, then printed out out a complaint form for me to use, then gave me an addressed stamped envelope to use, and then thanked me! Blimey!

Mind you she wasn’t a Nottingham gal, she wus from Manchester and commuted each day to Nottingham as she was relieving someone on holiday! Nice girl too.

Cheered up, I poddled through the town centre and went to the library and limped up to the third floor to ask if they had the Blood Red Snow book in. Another very nice lady had a look on her computer and told me they could get it from another branch for only a 45p charge and they would send me an email when it arrived!

By jimminee what a good day I was having.

I wobbled back through the town, traffic busy mind.

As I was walking down to the town, a youth banged into me as he joined his mates. Never said a word he didn’t, I don’t think he knew what he’s done actually.

And then as I crossed the slab square just in time to take a photo of it: There was a British Gas van parked with signs ‘Can We Help You’ and some tables and chairs at the side of the van, the chap there hiding in the van cause it was sprinkling with rain. I got there just as the traffic warden was giving him a ticket! Made my day British Gas being got at I assure you!

0305a

I plodded up to catch a bus, but unfortunately it started to belt down, so I dived into the Waitrose shop – fatal spending-wise that for me! But I only got some Greek style lemon mousse, so it wasn’t too bad.

Rain stopped as I left and caught the bus back to the demolition area.

Saw a couple of youths idling along looking at each car they passed suspiciously. Both wearing black hoodies.

Got in and started the laptop and made a cuppa, went to the WC put me bags away and returned to the laptop which still hand not loaded, so I waited.

Tried to download me pictures to Coreldraw9 but it froze. So I closed it and tried to open it again – all sorts of warning messages were coming on screen again when it froze again. Oh dear… I knew this was coming, the end of my graphicalistioning!

Luckily I think I can get to picture taken today before Coreldraw9 packed up.

I turned off the laptop and tried again – No!

So I turned it off and restarted again and uninstalled all Coreldraw things. And it told me to complete the uninstall I had to restart the laptop – Again! So I did.

Reinstalled Coreldraw9 again – then it told me it needed a computer restart to complete the DAB whatever that is.

So I restarted it once again.

All this must ahve taken two hours.

When I tried, Coreldraw9 stopped working again.

I tried again to run Coreldraw…

I can no longer do any graphics at all.

I am trying not to swear here.

I am so down now. At least I can get photo’s from me camera onto me blog, of course I can’t create any noe or doctor them… Huh!

Inchcock Today: Tues 21st October 2014

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02 01

Phoaw… he’s not kidding either! Windy wet weather as well!

Last night I had a supper of great proportions – the night was sprinkled with wind of great proportions!

WC.

I sprang awake again, but this time at 0130hrs and laid there until 0430hrs trying to nod off again, listening to the howling winds outside and those from within too.

 I raised myself up and poddled down to put the kettle on, take my medications with a cuppa, WC and tended to the ’Inch’… with no bleeding at all! Nice that, and not so tender either! Things are looking up in that department then.

WC.

Laptop on to start this diary and listening still to the wind outside and inside.

I’d done a post for Inchcock blog – not a good one, indeed probably one of me worst. But I persevered and did some graphics to go with it and posted it, the then did a bit of Facebooking.

WC.

Of upstairs an got the laundry togs ready in bag and went off to the launderette in the wind and drizzle. (There’s stopping me yer know…)

02 02Mandy on duty, Big John already there doing three machines worth of cleaning.

After I’d got the drier going, I nipped up to the GP surgery and asked to book an appointment with the GP.

The receptionist said if I waited she’d (the GP) got a free space in a while.

When I got on to see her about me ribs sticking out and me losing weight, she weighed me and told me I was the same weight as last time they weighed me. I did feel a fool!

Back to the launderette and had a natter with BJ and Mandy… well more BJ and Mandy with me listening in really.

Hobbled back to the dump-site and got the things for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop and set off on a walk into Sherwood with them: I got about quarter of the way there and the heavens opened and the rain lashed down in the high winds and I was soaked within seconds. Tsk!

Turned round back to the flea-pit and took all me togs off and changed into dry ones.

WC.

02 03Started the laptop made a cuppa did this update. 

I peeped out if the door to take photo of the horrendous rain – realising afterwards that I didn’t have the memory card in the phone!

So I took a photo of when the rain had stopped.

Notice no signs of yobs about – I like that!

Waited an hour and the sun has come out now. I’ll risk trying to go to the Nottingham Hospice shop aga… what am I thinking. I’ll stay in.

Did a bit more graphicalisationing to use later.

02 06Feeling guilty now and it’s brightened up a bit so I’ll attempt to go to the Hospice shop again.

WC.

Took a walk into Sherwood to the Hospice Shop with me donations.

I hobbled through a different route to Mansfield Road, taking a picture of an 02 07old Bedford CA van (I think it was the CA model) parked in its usual spot. It looked handsome to me with the leaves scattered all around it, very picturesque I thought.

Traffic in Sherwood was bit heavy. Not that it bothers me so much nowadays since they took away my driving licence. Mind you, the number of times I fall asleep in the most unexpected 02 08times and places, I can’t blame em, safety first eh? The OAP bus-pass is most welcomed used and appreciated by me!

On the walk back the wind was blowing leaves and detritus all over the place and I began to regret going out after all when I got something in me eye that I can still feel now.

02 05I noticed that the boozing mobility scooter drivers at the pub was down to one instead of three today… the weather must be bad to keep those dangerous alcoholics away from the pub.

When I got back to the bomb-site I noticed there were no birds about, another indication of the rotten weather? There were none of the many cats around either.

Well tired when I got in, WC made me nosh and off to kip.

Inchcock Today: Monday 20th October 2014

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01 01

Up wide awake at 0240hrs. WC.

Decided to get up anyway because I wanted to get me LOMM posts done before I go out on me medicalisationing visits.

03W02Laptop and me, still sluggish.

Cuppa and took medications too early really but still I took em.

Did a lot of graphic work and did some posts, despite my shaky fingers this morning.

Good job I did gerrup really early, cause it took me five hours to gerrum done!

I think I remembered to take me medications?

Brother-in-law Pete rang up, said he was sorry he’d not called for ages but had been busy and kept forgetting to.

Well, I can apprehend, sympathise and identify with that, no problem I told him.

Sad innit?

Got myself prettied up and tidy, put the cream on me ‘Inch’, only a tiny spot of blood and I think the redness and swelling is going down too – good stuff. (Many a word eh?)

01 02Set off, deciding to walk to town due to the wind and rain, to the bus stop – got about 300 yards and realised I’d forgotten me Anticoagulant therapy record card, so went back and collected it – just as well really, I’d forgotten to shut down the laptop. Silver lining? Tsk!

Got into town, the rain has lessened a 01 03bit, and caught bus out to the Queens Medical Centre, hobbled up the for flights of stairs as it appeared only one of the lifts were working and the queues for it were enormous!

In and out of the clinic within 15 minutes and back down to the ground floor haematology dept. Hell of a crowd waiting. My own fault for not going earlier really.

Took a ticket and got a free Metro newspaper, filled in me record form in advance and read the paper for the hour or so until my number was called.

Only two nurses working and they looked displeased bless them. Got done and gave 01 05em some nibbles that cheered em up a tad.

Out into the rain and wind once more to catch a bus back into the City.

I called Tesco in Victoria Centre and got some cheesey seaweed, a loaf, and some iced lollies. Well why not.

Came out and walked through Trinity Square’s new Food Plaza – couldn’t see anyone inside any of the expensive fooderies at all. Even the pigeons and the Big Issue seller were missing. I wondered if David Cameron knew about this? (Hehe)

01 06Poodled down to the bus stop and caught the bus back to Carrington dropped off as the rain was easing again.

Got in the hovel and WC, then put the kettle on.

I didn’t know if i should mention this, but decided to: As I went upstairs I felt a tiny ‘Plup’ as a minuscule amount of air was released from my rear end – Cor Blimey! It seemed the fowl aroma filled the entire house! Never had that before, and don’t want it again. Erugh! Nearly gassed missen!

Updated this tripe.

The sudden weariness came over me again, so I thought get some nosh and off to kip Young Inchy. (Young Inchy I ask you Young Inchy… the things I come out with. hehehe!)

Sat/Sun 18th/20th – October 2014

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0701

Gawd knows how he’s still going, it beats me!

Saturday 18th October

Up at 0400hrs, awaking with a start again?

WC.

Cold this morning.

Got down and started laptop, kettle on and got the Daktacort cream out of the fridge and gingerly treated ‘Tender Inch’ – who I think was not so tender as he has been! But then again, this morning I didn’t wake up with the usually excited ‘Inch’. Very little blood at the moment… good eh?

I spent many hours on the Internet: Facebooking, League of Mental Mening, Troll Free Zoning and emailing. And jolly well enjoyed it too.

Also got some graphics done for later and few posted – and Coreldraw9 (up until now anyway) has only crashed once! Brilliant.

Going to have Cottage pie and sausages with bread dipped in for tonight’s nosh. Followed my further nibbles no doubt and Iced lollies? I’ll stop the weight dropping off somehow.

Big John phoned earlier, he can’t get to the World Wars exhibition at the Papplewick Pumping Station today, but might be going tomorrow and will pick me up on the way if he does go. Nice of him I thought, decent chap. I must remember to get me camera ready if we do go. I still find myself wanting to check that I’ve got enough film yer know – sad, but age permits a little eccentricity surely?

I want to get to the Alley shop in Nottingham city centre this week coming to take some photo’s and maybe try the nosh there.

Sandra from Troll Free Zone advised me to clear my cookies to try and cure the slowness of me laptop. Took me ages to fins put how to do it, but I got there in the end.

Of course I could not get into Facebook, WordPress, Google blog or owt else without signing in again… a few hours spent there trying to remember/find me passwords etc. Tsk! Wait till I try to get on the other sites… oh dear!

Bit of a set-back in the ‘Inch’ healing stakes, rather a lot of bleeding when I doctored the little mite tonight. But not so painful though.

07SShead

Well he hope he is anyway – he’s like a little child bless him!

Sunday 19th October 2014

Bad night, kept waking up in semi-panics but have no idea why? Did this about four times I think. Weird and uncomfortable that?

Got up WC’d and came down thinking it was about 0200hrs and realised it was already time for me morning medications 0455hrs!

Maybe it was because I was excited about going out to Papplewick Pumping station exhibition with Big John later? He said he will pick me up around 1200hrs. Must get me things ready soon so I don’t forget later.

Made cuppa and took me medications then set about treating tiddly ‘Inch’. Only a little blood this morning, but the stinging was enough to make me cringe a tad.

Laptop started relatively quickly this morning – but when I tried to open word it took a long time to open and then with a post on it I did months ago? Then Chrome took even longer to open.

The angina is not so bad today at the moment, but I have developed stomach aches of a rather intense nature: I hope this does not stop me going on me trip out?

0703Big John came at 1310hrs to pick me up, then we collected Big David from is flat and we set off to Papplewick.

Apart from the wind and drizzle I had a good time wandering taking piccies and chatting to people.

 

Towards the end I was getting weary aching and tired. But so glad I went.

When BJ dropped me off, I was only capable of tajong me medications and getting my head down. I forgot to treat my ‘Inch’ with the cream!

Inchcock’s Status:

Tired weary but content.

 

Inchcock Today: Friday 17th October 2014

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05f02

Jumped wide awake again around 0420hrs.

WC.

I came down to the fridge to use the deadly Daktacort cream on my poor little tender ‘Inch’. He bled a bit again, but not as bad as last night. Surely it should start soon to bleed much less? If it carries on I might go back to the G.U.M. Clinic on Monday. Mind you, maybe not Monday I’ve got me QMC Warfarin INR level checks and GP appointment. Busy little me. I must point out to my doctor about me ribs seem to be sticking out more and I’m losing meat and weight from around me ribs? Mind you I’ve wanted to lose weight for a while, but now it seems to be dropping off despite my eating more than I have been?

Went back upstairs to find me mobile phone… well a search of all the usual places failed to find it and I was getting annoyed with myself.

I tried the old trick of doing something else to see if it worked.

I took out the rubbish to the bins in readiness for the arrival of the Waste Control Technicians.

Then carried out another search for the mobile – no luck.

Sneezing now! Huh!

Gave up the search and got dressed proper like… the mobile was found in me trouser pocket!

Down again and started the laptop (Still so slow I think the end is nigh?)

Medications and a cuppa taken, then the search for me reading glasses took place…

Found em within 39 minutes, naturally I had left them in my shopping bag???

05f03I did some blogging done and went on Facebook. Meritt Hutton had posted a site that tells you which car you should be driving after a few questions being answered.

I tried it. Mine came up with a Ford Model T!

Did some more Facebooking and blog reading got yesterdays Diary finished and posted off the Inchcock blog.

Closed down the laptop and went up to prettify myself. Not a good session, the ‘Inch’ started bleeding again, I cut missen shaving and banged me head on the sink when I bent down to pick up the razor I’d dropped because me finger were stiffening on their own again. It’s a life innit? Tsk!

I got the things ready to take to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, made sure I’d got me glasses, hearing aids in, mobile phone with me and bus-pass, and set off on me walk into Sherwood.

About half way there, I thought the sky was looking beautiful, dark but beautiful and decided to take a photo of it and got the camera box out of me bag – me Empty camera box out of me bag! Double Tsk!

Ah well… I plodded on and handed in me donations at the Hospice shop then crossed the road to catch an Arnold bus to get some ready meals from Asda.

I got on the bus, and fell asleep, waking up to find the driver informing me “This is as far as we go mate!”

I red facedly got off the bus and wondered where the hell I was!

I walked through the estate hopefully in the right direction and came to a T-junction – left or right I had to decide – why is there never anyone around when you want to ask directions?

The road was almost at the top of the crest of a hill, and I knew Front Street was low in comparison with the surrounding area, so I went left and walked down the hill. Good job it was all downhill too!

After about half a mile or so I recognised the area I was walking into and knew if I kept straight on for a couple of miles I’d come into Arnold Front Street.

Not having been down that road for years, it brought back some memories to me to muse on as I hobbled along. I enjoyed the walk actually.

By the time I got to Asda, me feet were really stinging summat rotten, but the arthritis was amazingly not too bad at all?

I called in Asda and had a poddle round getting a Cumberland pie a Sweet potato and carrot Shepherds pie and a thick-sliced wheatmeal loaf on special offer.

I caught a bus back to Carrington – trying to make sure I didn’t fall asleep again and rang the bell to get off at Church Drive but the driver couldn’t have heard it… or I didn’t press it right? So I pressed it again and he did let me off at the next stop bless him.

I fed the birds en route and got into the dump and put the nosh away (Seeing the Daktacort cream lying there silently mocking me made me cringe a bit. Heh) and I made a cup of char.

Started the laptop to do this rubbish for the blog.

I searched the web to try and find a route map for the 57 bus so I could doctor it and made a graphic of where I had to walk due to me nodding off again.

05f04

I’m struggling with me fingers today, hard to type with accuracy.

I think tonight I’ll have curried beans and sausages with loads of bread – followed by an iced lolly or two!

I bet nihilist Cameron isn’t gonna eat any better?

It was horrible! (The food… well the food and Nepotist Cameron really Hehe)

I took me medications and tended to my ‘Inch’ – less blood tonight.

Noticed bruises all down both my shins?

Inchcock Today: Thursday 16th October 2010

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04Th01

0310hrs: Sprang awake, WC, and tried to get back to sleep – no chance. Tried reading my Brian Clough book.

0415hrs: Descended down to the fridge to get the Daktacort cream, returned upstairs tended a very inflamed and painful ‘Inch’ – by gum that stings yer know. Hehe!

Back down returned the torture cream to the fridge, started laptop, kettle on and tool medications.

The laptop took ages to load and then wouldn’t let me open any programmes like Word. Oh dear…

Pressed restart and it began downloading updates:

Made another cuppa and read a bit of a book while I waited.

0550hrs: Updates finally downloaded and installed!

Laptop running but oh so slowly!

Managed to get me Diary posted on Inchcock for yesterday.

Got the things ready to go to the launderette.

IMG_0143Went up and beautified missen and set off fer launderette.

Mandy was on duty and we managed a few natters and laughs.

The ‘Inch’ felt a bit odd, but no blood. (Yahooo!)

I got the washing done and dried and hobbled back to the dump with it.

IMG_0144Set out on a walk into town.

The rain stopped as I was reaching the cemetery.

Poddled on into town and walked through Vic Centre and out the other end and called into the Pound shop.

Got a microwave dish, cheapo DVD and a bag of bird seed. (By gum I IMG_0146know how to live!)

Took a photo from the walk-over.

Avoided a mobility scooter and then nearly walked into one parked up – Tsk!

Caught the bus back to the flea-pit.

Tiredness and weariness came over me again so I took me medications a little earlier than usual and tended to the ‘Inch’ – boy did he bleed this time! But the cold cream from the fridge applied is making me jump less now I’m getting used to it.

Head down, usual dreams/nightmares and apart from waking up a few times to use the WC, I slept for ages more than usual.

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 15th October 2010

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03W01

Sprang awake around 0230hrs.

WC.

I cleaned up the many screwed up bloodied kitchen towels and packed them safe in their own black bag for disposal at the chemists later.

My ‘Inch’ was so sore painful and inflamed, but not bleeding proper, just a bit of leaking this morning up to now.

0320hrs I came down to the fridge washed and applied Daktacort cream. Only seepage of blood now but the tingling like pain was most unwelcome. It seems like I cannot concentrate on anything else.

Now the angina and a nasty cough have developed. Tsk!

It hurts at the least contact even with the underpants, I dare not remove them for fear of contact with any zips.

Talk about tender! And applying the Daktacort cream straight from the fridge makes yer jump painfully a bit in the morning I can tell yer!

I wus nearly too late to take me morning medications because I’d spent so long sorting the poor little ultra-tender and glowing ‘Inch’ out. Tsk!

Feeling tired drained and lackadaisical. Still interested just enough to like to know how and what brought about this problem with my ‘Inch’ in the first place? 

I searched for me hearing-aids wot I lost again and came across an old written diary for last year, I perused it for last October and the entry was not good then.

I posted it on me status on Facebook for a bit of fun and a warning to other decrepit elderly personages:

“A year ago today, I set out on me walk to the hospital for me INR level tests – Got knocked over by a mobility scooter – lost me bus-pass – one of my hearings-aids batteries packed up – caught the wrong bus to go home – got mugged in the alleyway to my street – got home and found I’d left the cooker on and it was still smouldering from the resultant fire.

The police kindly gave me an incident number.

As I went upstairs to retireand console myself, I fell backwards into a rather unseemly pile at the bottom of the stairs, luckily I had me mobile on me to summon help in getting me up again. I broke me walking stick.

I will not be going out today!

Better safe than sorry I says.

Still sneezing a lot today.

Did some graphics and posts for Inchcock, gorrum posted. Took me ages and of course Coreldraw9 kept crashing.

Bit of Facebooking too.

Feeling hungry now, earlier than usual.

Went up to clean me poorly Inch, but forgot the Daktacort cream was downstairs in the fridge.

Had to use a fair number of kitchen towels before it stipped bleeding, but far less than last night.

Made a cuppa and got back to Facebooking – then of course the ‘Inch’ began dribbling blood again. Not as bad as I thought though, it’s the fact that I’m running out of clean clothes now. Must get meself down tothe launderette in the morning and get a good walk in. 

When I washed ‘Ichy’ it was agony drying him, so tender. Applied the Daktacort cream from the fridge – not so much blood this time. Took evening medications.