Records wot Inchcock has set

IR02Record 1: Birth

Inchcock was probably the first just under 3lb baby to have his mother tell the mid-wife to “Throw it in the Trent!”

Record 2: Absconding

He ran away from home at six years of age – gone for six hours, got scared and returned to a good belting. Not for running away that was encouraged, but for getting caught and the police bringing him back and waking up all the neighbours.

IR01Not that the belting upset him, it was the fact that no one had missed him that hurt.

Record 3: Being forgotten by his Mother

He’s been told of, and some he can remember. The wash-house, the Bingo stalls, the Cinema, the Chip shop, and the relatives houses are just some of the places she left him to return later to collect him, or usuallt someone would take him back home.

The one he remembers with clarity was a day trip to Mablethorpe and she left him in an arcade and caught the train home. Give her credit though, she did remember when the train got into Lincoln and she informed the police. Who sent a PC to collect him and scare him to death giving him a lift in a black maria to Lincoln to be rejoined with his mother who wanted to know immediately if he’s won anything on the machines.

Record 4: Boxing

Young Inchcock believes he still holds the record for any boxer at the Meadows Old Boys Club – he lost every bout and never got beyond the second round.

Record 5: Football

He definitely holds the record as their goalkeeper, albeit as stand in when they played Corpus Christie School in a cup match. He still insists that the third of the thirteen goals they scored was not his fault.

IR05Record 6: Go-Karting

He was the first person to tip over a Go-Kart at the new amenity in Skegness.

Record 7: Falling asleep

Perhaps one of his best records and least challenged by others was his trip to Mansfield for a job interview by bus.

IR04aHe fell asleep and woke up at Chesterfield, where he had to pay the extra fare of course.

He got soaked in the rain waiting for a bus back to Mansfield.

He then fell asleep on that one and got off at Sutton in Ashfield.

Again he got soaked waiting for a bus to Mansfield.

When he arrived at the interview they told him he’s got the wrong day it should have been the day before!

Record 8: Shot

He was the only Security Guard in 1988 to get shot by an intruder.

IR03Record 9: Hernia repair

When he went into hospital to have his hernia tended to, they found he had bladder cancer, haemorrhoids and a prostate growth.

He still wonders how they found the haemorrhoids problem?

Record 10: In and out of hospital

IR04When he went in to have his new mechanical ticker valve done, they told him he’s be in for three to four nights.

After two nights they told him the bed was needed for an emergency and sent him home. He had to ring his sister and brother in law to give him a lift. Agony!

 

There are probably many more records that he holds, but he only got as far as this when he had to run to the WC and fell up the stairs.

The paramedic is with him now.

5 thoughts on “Records wot Inchcock has set

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.