Inchcock’s Wet Walk in Nottingham!

Inchies wet wander to Nottingham City Centre,

The rain would not relenter!

He got soaked, cold, and this he does lamenter! (Oh, dear!)

I started with my viewing the floods on the park,

I went out to picture it and fell over a lump of bark,

The flood was big enough to float the Bismarck,

Time to catch my bus, the flats I did disembark!

I got roughed up getting off of my bus,

Cursed getting soaking wet, Oh, I’m a right wuss,

But I pressed on to the Poundland shop,

My first port of call stop,

In search of some pfeffernuss!

.

For a Police car, that’s dodgy parking,

No blue lights were flashing?

No Ossifers were in sight,

Should I investigate, make sure all’s alright?

But I didn’t, there might have been a fight!

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Shopping all done, I came out of the Poundland shop,

T’was all dark, it reminded me of Betty Wainthrope,

Made my way to the Bargain Shop, for some codswallop!

It was still cold and rainy, though,

I found a nice thick big throw,

At £19.99, I bought it, so…

In guilt, I found myself basking,

At the price that they were asking,

My mind needed an MOT and debunking!

I paid and left… Sulking!

I hid under a bus stop,

And emptied the rain-filled trolley-top tray,

From my shoes, I tipped the water away,

Then to Trinity Square, I made my way.

T’was abandoned by the Nottinghamian folk,

Was it the cold and rain that kept them away?

No man nor woman in view, not even a beggar bloke!

If they had come, they’d have just got a good soak!

Same at the top end, the populace had gone astray,

Might keep the muggers away, I pray,

And the shoplifters, where were they?

What happened to the 45,500 students in Nottingham today?

Down to Parliament Street on my way,

No people in Frankie & Benny’s,

Spending their pennies,

The few folks around, don’t look too happy or gay!

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In Slab Square there were a few more Pavement Cyclists about,

Some, were delivering food, Mange Tout, or maybe fried trout?

A couple on Long Row were close enough to give me a clout,

But, I was too cold and soaked to give them a shout,

And, I’d got a runny snout!

To the bus stop, to go home again,

Arthur Itis giving me pain,

I think the rain had affected my brain,

For I was contented, why? I can’t explain?

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