Inchcock’s Hillarious Dream, In Ode!

With an old girlfriend, Ivy, we were necking in a twin-kayak,

In the University grounds pond, and Ivy gave me a whack!

Being a Gentleman, I didn’t hit her back,

I asked her, why the heck did you attack?

Did you put this in my pocket? (It was a stickleback),

I said, let’s heat it up and have a snack?

Ivy shouted, ‘No, put it back!’

This spaceship came down, as I was tickling a pollack,

Next moment I was in a prison cell? Oh, Gack!

To reality, I could not get back,

Befriended a rat, I called him Mack,

No one about, no food, what’s the crack?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

A voice from nowhere, “Do not get exacerbated!”

You will be investigated and accommodated,

We mean no harm, but stupidity must be eradicated.

With that, my brain was confuscated!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Back to the cell and Mack, for a little while,

I was not sad, but I’d forgotten how to smile!

An alien brought me a cup of tea, camomile,

One said in perfect English, “You seem very vibratile?”

I thought to myself, does he mean versatile?

He called me names, and got very scurrile,

He walloped me and threw me on the shagpile,

The other said I was infantile and unfertile…

We’ll do an autopsy on you in a while!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

“He’s got damage in here that’s been repaired?”

“His vision and hearing are impaired…”

“Yet, he doesn’t seem in the slightest bit scared?”

“Scarred, yes. Just grabbed his todger, and he’s not angered?”

“His brain functions, and thoughts seem so scattered?”

“See the stomach? It seems blocked and matted?”

“He lies there as if it, nothing mattered?”

“Well, I’m really bewildered…”

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Best take him back, put him in the vestibule…

“Gawd!” “Just look at his minuscule mating tool”!

“His brain tells me he’s missed a lot of school…”

“I wouldn’t bother mate”, I screamed, “it’s a dream, you fool!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Part Of Inchcock’s Make ‘Em Laugh Series

10 thoughts on “Inchcock’s Hillarious Dream, In Ode!

  1. Glad you liked it, Doug, thanks for letting me know, mate.
    I really did think it was really happening at first… then while still in the dream, I sort of realised it couldn’t be so… Hehehe!
    Never done that before, after waking yes. TTFN, a bit of fuss for Andy, please.

  2. My Darling YOU are one crazy man! I found Bilium to be similar and chose him for my mate. Loved it! I loved the picture you made! That was so good!

    • Thank you, Lisa, my sweetness.
      We’ve a lot in common. Billum and I.
      The Attendance Allowance Application Form arrived today, and I signed it and returned it. I am really hoping that some financial relief will be coming my way, to help pay for the carers. But, I’m not getting too hopeful.
      Please mention to Bill for me; that Herbert is driving me mad at the moment. Haha!
      ♥ Keep safe

  3. That was a marvelous, enthralling, engaging, and totally believable account of a dreamscape. Of course, I had no idea that it was not an actual account until the final lines. If I am ever again abducted by aliens, I shall ask them about the bodily inch that they seemed so interested in. I would seriously doubt that their mating members are any larger, likely a millimeter or less is what I would imagine. Aliens are known to wipe the memories of their invitees before returning them to their respective c1968 odd-colored recliners. The crumbs yer encounter of a morning are likely of alien manufacture, what else could they possibly be? Many abductees enjoy a meal or two presented by the aliens who abduct them, a sign of common courtesy it appears. I have been unable to find Wagon Wheels in any supermarket, this is irrefutable proof that those wheels are of extra-Tertullian manufacture. The very shape of those WW treats are carefully-constructed miniature reproductions of their flying saucers. Could there ever be a doubt? I doubt it, of course. If I remember it by Monday, I shall request an ambassadorship from Joe Biden to an alien starship, where my investigations into their nature, manner, and ways might prove productive. These matters are important, I am glad you spent a fine night with those curious creatures, Sir!

    • Well, Billum, thank you for that clever, wonderful commenting, which was cleverly wrote, had me laughing to it, and took my mind off of the current (almost none-stop) Herberting. A Triple winner, Sir!
      Loved hoe you linked in the WW.
      I Fank You!

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