INCHCOCK TODAY
Morning Thoughts – In Ode
Tips & Advice for Whippersnappers
It’s not always good to be counterrevolutionary,
Or eat too many cakes, biscuits and confectionary,
Even when they are freebies, stolen or complimentary,
You can get CBD from an apothecary, but not for free!
Boots sell sugar-free cakes, chewing gum and toffee!
Don’t skimp on your health, even on dentistry…
It will hurt and cost, don’t be disillusionary…
You can get pain-killers, co-codamol from a dispensary,
You must obtain a job; this is elementary…
To avoid ending up broke and eleemosynary!
Avoid gangs, violence, and drugs, which seem customary…
For youths who end up injured or dead, sanguinarily…
Not that all young men think this is statutory…
Many, well, a few, the odd one, will live crime-free…
Sixty-five per cent or so will go to prison, you see!
This advice-ode is not meant to be a shockumentary,
Its advice is to avoid overuse of your Rosary…
Luckily for you, we have a cost-counting judiciary…
So drug-taking, muggings, don’t mean putting you away,
It costs too much to lock you up for more than a day!
The exception is murdering someone, to prison, you go away,
You’ll not worry about the cost of living, which is so inflationary…
A free Doctor inside, should you go into insanity!
Takes me weeks to get an appointment for the surgery!
A 20-year sentence, even if you’re a murdering mercenary!
You can get by the parole board with lies and trickery,
Being free within 6 years is not so extraordinary,
They’ll pay your rent, you’ll be probationary…
You can kill again, perhaps a mother and baby?
Get out again, sell your story for a documentary?
But let’s not be gloomy; think of the non-offenders,
Who cannot afford to go out on benders…
And don’t attack customers or bartenders,
They may be unemployed, clerks or builders…
Struggling to live and pay their bills, the poor bleeders!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Wednesday 6th April 2020
04:00hrs: I stirred to life without any jumping or jerking. Most importantly, mental-healthwise, not a sign of the Thought-Storms! I made my way to the wet room for ablutions and an urgent feeling for a wee-wee.
I took the half-full NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) with me for emptying, cleaning and disinfecting. Not an easy job, but I’m using Metal Mickey to get there. But no problems were encountered! Tipped out the contents, rinsed and washed the bucket, and put some Dettol disinfectant in it.
I started to get the nasal cleaning done and had to make a slight change of plans…
It was a close call! Despite there being no rumblings or squelching from the innards to warn me, the movement began before I’d got my bottom on the plastic! Messy! Watery, splashed all over me and the WC! Start to a sudden finish in less than 30-seconds, I reckon! The cleaning up afterwards took a lot longer. Tsk!.
Back to the wash and brush up sessioning. The teeth cleaning went okay. Then that danger zone, shaving, was started. I thought it had gone well. But when I was starting on Little Inchie and Harold’s Haemorrhoids, I caught a reflection in the shaving mirror. I wished I’d taken the camera in now. Tiny trickles of blood down from the neck and chin area, onto my chest and man-breasts. Hehehe!
I got the lesion, piles and neck sorted out rather quickly too! It took ages, and I had pieces of paper towel all over me, but they eventually stopped leaking. These tiny shaving cuts don’t seem to respond to the aftershave as much as the larger ones.
I got the day clothes on, and feeling refreshed, I hobbled back to the kitchen to get the kettle on…
Humph! I had to hasten back to the wet room to utilise the Throne again! This evacuation was, what’s the word? A sort of follow-through; far less content and almost entirely liquid. More cleaning up was required.
Trotsky Terence was now in complete charge of any rear-end passings from the innards. This called for a dose of the Galpharm to be taken with the brew of Glengettie! Which I took the next thing.
Another flipping wee-wee, short and sharp again. These came all day long, so much so that Little Inchies Fungal Lesion started bleeding later on. I don’t think I’ve wee-weed so much before. Bladder and Bowels have been upset somehow?
☑ I got the Sphygmomanometer out and took the Blood Pressure readings. Sys 144, DIA 71, which was in the High Blood Pressure red, only just. It was lower than it’s been for a few days now.
☑ The body temperature was so close to target again. It has been so good for the last 3-4 days. Why? Not complaining. I just wish I knew what I’d done right, so next time it drops, I can do it again.
I got the Tuesday blog updated and sent it off to WordPress. Emailed the link. Then, I Pinterested some photographs. Just starting the WP comments, and Carer Richard arrived. He was looking a bit better than yesterday. He gave me a few minutes of chinwagging, which I appreciated. Especially as I could see how tired the lad was.
After Richard had departed, I went back to the WP Comments. Next, onto Facebooking. Then…
Dizzy Dennis arrived, and so much so, my mind got fogged. I worked (I think), on this blog for several hours, having great difficulty getting the photos to upload again.
Concentrating was hard enough as it was, but the wee-wees increased in frequency in the afternoon, and this really got to me. I was struggling with all the breaks I had to take. Things were taking ages as I had at times to work out where I was before the weeing! Grrr!
I went through to get the oven on in readiness for the meal making, and the view was staggering. I do love those puffer clouds!
Night Carer. Food. Horrible sleep.
Can’t get photos to load at all.
Fed-Up!
A thorough list of advisories for IT readers of all ages and criminal histories, the stuff that they do not teach you in school. They do not even teach you about odes, not to even mention the vast power that a wielder and welder of poatomicpoetics may achieve with an ode or nine. Make good choices, youngsters. Else you find yourself in a world of dearth before death. Instead, bludgeon yourselves with this morning ode. Then repeat tomorrow morning if needed. Good luck, apocryphal youth reading these words!
Good that Richard is more himself, I also worry about such a lad with a good head and a gift for wagging the chin.
Hard to concentrate when Dizzy Dennis is around, and he certainly gets additional help from the ailments with names, do he not? Ain’t it the bane?
A fashionable Friday to yer, kind Sir!
Poatomicpoetics? That needed looking up, Sir.
Loved yer quote.
I’ve found of why Richard was down, Billum, he lost his daughter in a fire on that day, many years ago. Poor Richard, grand bloke.
Being it a fashionable day, I shall wear the bamboo diabetic socks in celebration later. Hehehe!
Poatomicpoetics is a word I am waiting for inclusion in the OED, it deals with the study of a poem’s meter, melody, and rhyme at the atomic level. A definition that I have just now made out of the thinnest and most delicate gossamer. Just waiting to hear from the OED folks now.
My condolences to that fine and gentle fellow, Richard. Those anniversaries never disappear.
I wonder how they make socks out of bamboo, it seems counterintuitive somehow. Hope the celebration went well, Sir!
When I Googled it, I started to read the meaning… but the head and brain froze. Haha!
The OED refused my Whoopsiedangleplop.
Daned good stuff them bamboo socks (Amazon), when the legs are swollen. Naturally for me, after buying them the legs stopped swelling up. Hahaha!
Love to all. 💕 😸
The OED has not approved any of my wordages yet.
I think I have some bamboo underwear, they fit well, just the right size. No Glenda equipment necessary.
Much loves from us guys and the furries
If only there was a CCTV in the wet room this morning, Billum! Getting the trousers on routine was on a par with Buster Keaton at his best! How I didn’t go over, beats me… but I did bounce off of two walls and clouted an elbow on the door. Unexpected energetic dancing, and blood splattering wet room and myself at the same time (multiple shaving cuts this morning). I had to smile afterwards.
Cheers… Oh, I got some pod peas delivered too! Italiano. But please don’t tell the bak manager.
CCTVs do appear with much humorousity on the Tube of You, featuring much Buster Keaton style. A shame that none were in the wet room at that hour. Perhaps you could install one and make some coin on YouTube. Perhaps with running commentary from you as the mishaps occur.
Good olde pod peas from Italiano.I shall keep it a secret from the bank manager who has fifteen plugs going into a single power strip.
Ah, that branch closes next month. The only other TSB left in Nottingham, will be in West Bridgford… two buses each way. In the last year, Mapperley, Clifton, Meadows, Basford, Bulwell, Highbury Vale, St Anns, City Centre and Long Eaton branches have gone! I knew we’d be in trouble when we sold TSB to a Spanish bank.
OMG, a Spanish bank that might be managed by Manuel of Fawlty Towers fame. Que? We have banks on every corner in the Fort of Thomas. They pop up all the time, just change their names every year. Four buses away (my math skills at work) is an outrage. I suppose they expect former customers to return to placing their funds in a mattress.
Haha! Money mad bankers!
Grubber gits!
Turds!
Rat turds!
Bluder kerle?
Beides.
Fair genug, hahaha!