Day: 21 May 2026

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Today consisted of various upsets, problems, bothers, frustrations, periods of depression, moments of pathetic, and self-annoying self-pity. A couple of moments, mainly when the damned new Windows 11 was confusing, or the new CorelDraw 26 play-ups and anti-Inchie activities took so long to work out how to proceed, and in some cases were skirted around, without the slightest hope of my remembering how I got through that particular problem. Of course, each and every one would return later.
I was regularly self-distracted, not coping, confused, panicky, incapable, unlucky; even bewildered at times.
There were a few times that I felt almost blas’e, as I decided there was no point in going on. Convinced things are getting worse, harder, more difficult each and every day.
All I did for the majority of the day was struggle with the computer and clear accidental wet-room problems.
I think I just moaned about my problems to each Carer, and felt guilty after each grumble about my miserable, ever-failing, mental and physical lifestyle. 
I just read the above. I felt bad for writing it. Sorry!
But I’m sure I’m getting rather pitiable. I wish the Doctor would recognise my problems.
Then again, if she were to, it would mean being referred to the suitable department in the NHS. Wait for an appointment, as with the neurologist who took six months. Then I was assured a lift had been arranged back, but told to cancel the appointment as they cannot do a lift there. So if I were to live long enough to get help, I’d have to sort help from the Carers to arrange a lift, get the money to hand to pay for it there and back, then get me dressed on the morning of the day.
No, sod-it, not worth the bother & hassle.
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I’d shout for help. Is there any point in going on about my deteriorating confidence, interest, and increasing depression, frustration and increasing ailments? I believe things started affecting me mentally after the fall revealed the TBI. Two of my Carers have kept me going, and a feeling of concern has been shown. But they are coming less often now. So many people are far worse off than I. Hence, the guilt returns. I’ve not been this low before. By this afternoon or tomorrow, things may perk up? 😂
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Just thought I’d mention them. Hehe!
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FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD
A FEAST OF FODDER IN STOCK NOW!
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WATER AS WELL
AND THE OVERUSED TOILET PAPER
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