Inchcock Political Party Shadow Ministers rethink their Manifestos!

Cabinet

Rachel Carrera says:

We must fight on and not mewl, it’s the voters that were the fools, following the main party like mules!

Shirley Blamey says:

Extreme policies we must overrule, I’ll do the job just give me the tools!

Angel says:

It’s the greedy politicians we must attack and ridicule!

Marissa Bergen says:

We need Punk-rock, in the home, on public transport and the vestibule!

Mike Steedenski says:

We must legalise hemp, marijuana, and the absinthe soaked toadstool!

Danny Soz says:

Everyone should hire a vehicle from my VAT free car-pool!

Inchcock says:

Bring back hanging for Pavement cyclists should be the rule!

Gazza H says:

Remove Inchcock as our leader and use him as a footstool!

Dunc the Hunk says:

When I went to school, I lived on gruel, Gawd life can be cruel!

* Gazza asked me to point out that no Shoplifters, Pavement Cyclists or Members of UKIP were harmed in the production of this load of rubbish.

Fri 29.5.15: Inchcock Today – Out and About Photographicalisationing in the Rain. The fool!

Friday 29th May 2015

Woke remembering bits of some dreams… chasing people but never getting close to them, down streets, over rooftops and in sewers and caves?

Came down and made a cuppa, fed the pigeons.

IMG_0093Made sure my neighbours and my bins were pulled out for the Refuse Administrator Facilitators (Formerly Bin-men before the European Human Rights shower got involved) arrival later. (0545hrs)

A bit damp this morning, the sun forcing it’s way through though. It went back in as I wrote this.

Took me medications.

The space in the corner of the room, now free of IMG_0094Nottingham Hospice Charity shop donations and rubbish bags took some getting used to. Hehehe!

It’ll soon get filled again once I get me wind and find time to do some more sorting.

Not up to it at the moment, the stomach is churning again – a feeling of comfortableness and expectancy lingers about this – please not the runs again… Please!

Updated me diary with dates of Dentist, Skin-cancer, INR Warfarin level test and Clinic appointments.

At last, a heavy-duty call to the porcelain. Regrettably the anticipated runs turned out the opposite and blood flowed.

Cleaned myself up, made another cuppa and returned to the laptop.

Used Coreldraw X7 to make the header for this post.

Bin men called, pulled bins back off the road afterwards.

Went up to have an abluting session and shave. Bit of a shock when I looked in the mirror – Gawd I look pale, almost ghostly!

IMG_0096Got me things, bus-pass, Pound-shop umbrella (Raining heavy now) nibbles and small shopping list: Curried beans and cooked pork only on it.

I thought twice about going out when I opened the door and saw the rain belting down. Huh!

Got me Pound shop umbrella, bus-pass, nibbles and shopping list only curried beans and cooked pork joint on it – IMG_0097no Heinz curried beans left in Nottingham, Derby or Mansfield! Tsk!

On me walk into town I was weary of the gigantic puddles in the gutters and tried to nip past them between cars to avoid getting soaked when they drive through them – but no, a flaming bus came as I was walking by a big un and soaked me through all down me right side.

I walked on and turned back taking a photo of the next bus to show how the first one got me! Swines!

IMG_0098No rush this morning, cause I couldn’t use me free pensioners bus-pass until 0930hrs so I poddled squelchingly along up the hill.

At the pelican crossing near the entrance to the Forest recreation ground the lights had taken a bashing from some vehicle or other.

I pressed on slowly over the hill and down into the City Centre.

Found myself a little early to use me bus-pass when I got to the Victoria bus-station, so I went in Vic Centre to see if I could find anyone selling curried beans – mission failed, I returned to the Vic bus-IMG_0099station and got on a Red Arrow bus to Derby.

As we stopped on upper Parliament Street I took a photograph through the front windows of the bus.

The rain continued to pelt down.

Despite the weather, that didn’t stop IMG_0100James Hunt the driver from getting us all to Derby in double quick time.

In Derby I went through the back of the bus-station to the river Derwent, the first site was of several poor weather battered pigeons on the posts at the river-side.

IMG_0102I walked back a bit and threw them some seeds and earth-worm sticks.

This attracted the mallards and Canadian geese to approach me demanding more!

It amazes me how great big geese like these can pick up and eat individual seeds from the floor?

I get an odd satisfaction from feeding these wild birds, don’t know why but I just seem to feel better for doing it?

IMG_0101(Made new header later in Coreldraw X7 using one of me photo’s of the pigeons I took in Derby)

I left the birds fighting for the food and walked down and over to the Eagle Centre market – thinking I might find some curried beans at the cheapo stall there.

When I got up to it I found an empty stall – they had closed down! Tsk!

So up and into the centre proper an got missen a pork joint.

IMG_0104Then to the Derby City Council offices and caught a bus to Mansfield.

By gum I value me free bus-pass!

The driver left the engine running, a bit roughly to me mind, and got out to have a fag.

We set off and the journey took about IMG_0105an hour to get to Mansfield.

The scenery along the country lanes was wonderful, even in the rain.

As the bus filled up the buggy-bays did too.

The kids seemed determined to destroy the seats and ring the bell throughout their journey.

The aisle between the seats came in handy for their chasing game as well. The driver knew better than question their antics and disturb the mothers on their mobile phones – sensible bloke!

IMG_0107We arrived at Mansfield Bus station and those left on the bus seemed in an inordinate rush to get off?

I thought there might have been an injury or two as they battled each other to get off the bus first?

Then they seemed to scatter to various exits and disappeared into the ether?

I trudged down the rain soaked under-pass and went to check out the B&M store and Pound IMG_0106Stretcher store in search of Heinz Curried Beans.

None to be had – I know Lynton Cox told me they had stopped making them like.

But if they stopped making em cause they weren’t selling, you’d think there would be some left to be had?

Huh!

I made me way back to the bus-station and caught a Pronto bus back to Nottingham.

The wind is getting up now as well as the constant rain.

IMG_0108The bus stopped at some road-works for ages and this gave me a chance to take a photo of the fields and sky.

I was well pleased with this one.

I’ve made a bit bigger when I put it in. For once it was just how the eye saw it too.

IMG_0110And no reflections either?

We joined a rather long queue as we approached some roadworks using stationery trafficking lights.

We were there for ages, not that it mattered to me like, as I happily failed to finish me crossword again.

As we passed the roadworks the mud splattered onto the windows and that was the end of any IMG_0109good photo taking through the bus window.

I did try to take a photo quickly of a horse on a hill as we sped passed, but didn’t come out well. Hey-ho!

I could claim I was trying to take an atmospheric photo?

But I wasn’t.

IMG_0111Dropped off the bus in Carrington and hobble back to the House of rubbish.

I put the kettle on and as I started the laptop… sorry… Notebook (Can someone tell me the difference please?) there was no fewer than three peoples having a delve into the rubbish skip across the road – I caught the last one on me camera.

IMG_0112This skip certainly has fascinated and attracted much interest of the locals.

Made me pork and beans nosh.

Not made so much today, I’m learning.

AM. Note: Soon nodded off then, well tired I was.

Thurs 28.5.15: Inchcock today – Hectic!

Thursday 28th May 2015 

0401Up at 0450hrs – down to make a cuppa.

I espied after taking this photograph the seagull lurking on the roof. After reading about the Chihuahua pecked to death by seagulls in Devon – I hope they don’t move into Nottingham. Here are some headlines about Seagull attacks in England.

From the BBC News site:

“A pensioner has died after being attacked by seagulls in his garden. As the terror of overprotective gulls returns all round the UK, people are asking what can be done about them.” 

From the Mail:

Five-month-old Bella was killed after she managed to get into the back garden and was attacked by seagullsNikki wayne, 57, had previously spotted he birds diving for her five-month-old Chihuahua Bella. The seagulls swooped and pecked the dog to death before she could get back inside. Read more: 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3070426/Chihuahua-owner-horrified-beloved-puppy-pecked-death-gang-angry-SEAGULLS.html#ixzz3bQ1R4S4A 

From the Guardian:

0403Small dogs have bled to death, children’s lips been sliced open, and an elderly man died of a heart attack following a particularly vicious assault in his back garden (3). News that the Royal Mail has temporarily halted deliveries to an otherwise peaceful Cornish cul-de-sac because of the danger should come as no big surprise; it’s happened before.

A diving herring gull is a missile: special attack talon on the heel, razor-sharp two-inch beak, 1.4-metre wingspan, more than a kilo of angry bird travelling at 65kph. No wonder there’s blood. And there are more and more of them, at least in built-up areas: Britain’s urban gull population – thriving on takeaway scraps, open-topped litter bins and landfill sites to scavenge from, and wide ledges and flat rooftops to nest on – is growing by 20% a year. Seagulls can live for up to 40 years, and their survival rate in cities is 95%.

From the London Standard: Pensioner killed by seagulls

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/pensioner-killed-by-seagulls-6327549.html

Neighbours told how former ambulance driver Wilfred Roby disturbed a nest of chicks as he tried to clean bird droppings from the roof of his garage in Anglesey, north Wales.

The parent birds, joined by other gulls, swooped on the 80-year-old, knocking him off the wall on which he was standing and on to the ground, where they continued to peck at him as he lay unconscious.

Worrying innit?

I went into the charms section on Windows and found how to find and open the clipping option – then spent a good while finding out how to exit from it (Exit from the new green windows on Windows 8, I tried so many things that when I did get back into the internet I’d forgotten how I did it! Huh!.

I noticed in the email from the Housing place a little spelling mistake or two in it – or was it with the ‘Looing’?

0401

Was it an indication of the gentleman’s intentions to inform me that my bladder control would be examined? Hehehe! Not that I could move in there even if there was any vacancies with it not being assisted housing.

Today Steve from Age UK is coming at 1400hrs to see me to offer advice and discuss how I can advance in my clearing out and assisted living home search.

PPSBJBJ called last night just after I’d nodded off to kip, to tell me he’s coming today to take some stuff for me to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop bless him.

BJ looking distinguished in this photo of him at the Pumping Station.

Did some Facebooking and took me 0402medications, passed wind and started me piles bleeding.

The flock of pigeons came down for their breakfast as I took some stuff out to the bin. 

I managed to download and install some fonts to the new laptop/notebook – I still don’t know the difference between them or why the old machine was called a laptop and this one is called a Notebook? This is one job that is actually easier in the new windows, once you’ve worked out how to do it of course.

Opened Coreldraw x7 and made the header for today’s dairy.

Popped up to use the porcelain and me rear end was bleeding… Fancy that!

 The pain from me Whoopsiedangleplop at the Lidl check-out yesterday afternoon is less than I thought it might have, but still stinging a bit. No idea if any bruises have appeared I imagine they must have. I’ll get BJ to have a look when he arrives, because I’m supposed to log any new bruising on me Warfarin record card.

BJ rang I missed it and rang him back – he’ll be here at 1100hrs. (Somehow with his timekeeping record I doubt this – but would be pleased to be proved wrong).

Went up and got missen cleansed and polished in readiness for the day ahead.

Down at 1050hrs awaiting BJ’s arrival.

1120hrs, Still awaiting BJ’s arrival.

1140hrs BJ arrived. Quick natter and we were off to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop with the many bags of gear for them.

When we left I called into the dentists just up the road to confirm my next appointment.

When I came out of there I couldn’t find BJ, he was not in the car?

He appeared a few minutes later, he’s been to the greengrocers and scrounged two empty potato bags for me to use for me shredded paper bless him.

IMG_0087He ran me home and I picked up me Warfarin Record & dosage sheet and had a walk to the GP surgery and booked my next INR level tests for next Tuesday @ 1045hrs.

Then back to the flea-pit to await the arrival of Stephen from the Age UK group.

0403He arrived at the stated time and we had a chin-wag about the assisted flat hunting, and looked at some on the internet.

Favourites at the moment seems to to be Colville Court near the cemetery – handy that, it’ll save on expenses when I croak-out.

Steve is going to have a word with City Homes to see if he can get them to raise my standing from the the bottom one of Group 4 in the waiting list for Independent Living accommodation.

And he also said he will also contact Metropolitan Housing who own Colville Court to see if we can go take a look at them first before applying to go on the waiting list.

The area is all prostitutes and students BJ tells me… Mmmm?

Wonder how he knows? Hehehe!

Steve was very understanding of me problems with me health I must say, grand chap.

I thanked him and Steve departed.

I then set off for me bus-ride into the City Centre to try and get some curried beans.

At the end of the street, I turned, and went back to the dump, and  collected me bus-pass.

The bus was full of mobile-phoners and kids in prams.

IMG_0089Got off and went into Tesco and spent too much again, Sopocka, Marmite Crisps, Tesco brand curried beans (Not good, but fair like), err… cream cake, radishes and other bits.

Within minutes of leaving Tesco I nearly had a collision with two daft Pavement Cyclists who crossed, against the lights like the pedestrians, they nearly clobbered into me and some other folk… Tsk!

IMG_0090At the next crossing lights, the Nottingham Pedestrians confirmed their intention not to reform their habit of crossing the road against the Red Lights!

In fact this mother was actually dragging her daughter by the arm while pushing a baby in a push-chair with the other arm! Amazing or what?

IMG_0091I noted they were getting on with the new Victoria Shopping Centre (Mall) main entrance as I walked to the bus-stop to catch a bus home.

Feeling tired now, another hectic day for the Young Nottingham Lad eh?

I called in the Co-op when I dropped off the bus. The reason being that when I was doing me paper shredding I came across a Dividend Card statement and thought I could supply them with the number of the card and see if I could get any ‘Divi’ back?

At first the woman just said “You’ll have to phone our customer services people and ask them”. I explained about me frequent problems using the phone, pointing to me hearing aids as I said this. She kindly offered to ring them for me with me confirming who I was like. It turned out the statement I’d found was from 1989 – Oooer!

She said I’ve to fill in a form and send it off – then kindly said if she could have the statement she’d do it for me – I went all coy and thanked her.

IMG_0092Back to the dump, no WC visit yet.

Laptop on and loaded me photographs from the day to use on here later, then got me nosh ready.

It was nice, but it was far too much for me to eat, got carried away a bit methinks?

Baked potatoes with olive oil spread and caramelised red onion relish, beetroots (Ruddy hard beetroots), Danish blue cheese, radishes, tomatoes, Silesian sausages, mixed leaves and bread thins.

I’ve bringing wind up now!

I had me Fresh Cream French Horn later on.

I got the diary dine up to this point and fell a-kip!

I just nodded off and brother-in-law Pete rang to see how I was – and tell me that the skin cancer growth they taken from his shoulder was found to be malignant. They are going to take some more tests and remove a greater area. I said I’d go with him if I was not in hospital myself. He’s had bad luck there the lad has.

The chap only had one patch of skin cancer growth and it turns out to be malignant. Hope all goes well for him.

Made me wonder about the eight patches of growth I am going to have removed on June 12th.

Hey-ho!

Wed 27.5.15 Inchcock Today – Carrying on Regardless…

Wednesday 27th May 2015

Woke remembering bits of some dreams at 0610hrs.

I’d made notes during the night, but they were unreadable.

I recall being in a cellar with shop accoutrements and equipment all over the place, not unlike the cellar at the old Co-operative House on Parliament Street in Nottingham was in the 60’s.

The old wooden cash drawer from No3 store on Carlton Road I recognised, with its divisions and round wooden pots for the cash, it even had the old dividend pad we had to fill in for each customer sale.

Scattered around were bacon slicing machines of various types, rusty delivery bikes with their baskets corroded, boning knives, saws, white staff and grey managers coats, the old wooden tubs of 60lb of Danish butter were even there.

Old counters and wooden floorboards and in the middle, many of the people I knew form those days were sat apparently playing cards?

I’m sure there was much more in the dreams because the notes I made were large – even if as I say, unreadable.

Down and started lap and Woes! When I tried to load Google Chrome I was informed that changes to the internet supplier has caused problems? I had the choice of reloading or resetting all attachments?

I reloaded but nowt happened. Then I rebooted the modem – and phew… all came back on. I hope this doesn’t happen again – the very thought of losing me internet connection makes me suicidal and panic in fear of doing something wrong and losing it altogether.

I wondered if it was because I was using the old laptop last night?

I IMG_0082nipped up to the WC and noticed me can of shaving cream was on the stairs with blood on it?

Had I been sleep-walking? I checked missen over but could not find any bleeding – even the little Inch and haemorrhoids were clear of blood this morning – but why the shaving foam should have blood on it beats me?

I had a rinse and noticed blood on the toothbrush? Weird!

What the flipping heck had I been doing in me sleep? (Hehehe – had to laugh to myself though).

Finishing this diary update now, and I’m going to do some Facebooking then get the shredder set-up and clear some of the mountain of paperwork… I hope!

Hello, I’ve just looked a piccy I posted in yesterdays diary, and the bloodied shaving foam is in that??? I’m losing it here…

IMG_0083On with the paper shredding for two hours.

Filled up a small paper bag and giant box’s with the shredded documents, nowhere left to store them for now.

I decided I’d get me laundrette duties done today, and I can get some nosh in at the same time.

So I got myself spruced up, fed the pigeons and set of to the launderette.

Many was on duty today, but she was busy.

Got the machine going and nipped to Lidl to see what they had for me nosh.

I got some New Zealand apples, jacket potatoes Silesian sausages and two cheese rolls.

When I got to join the queue at the checkout…

CityRain

The chap behind me in the line swung up a pack of 6 large cola bottles onto the conveyor and the pack split as he did, hitting me on the shoulder and sliding down clouting me hip then thigh and knee.

The skin cancer growth took the worst of the blow.Tsk!

Shook me up a bit but I soon came round.

The security guard disappeared and a couple of youths from the staff came and asked me “Are you alright” “Yes” I foolishly said. And they disappeared too.

The young man that hit me was full of apologies and offered to help me home with the food. One of those things really.

I limped back to the launderette ad got me washing in the drier.

Mandy said I looked pale, what’s happened? I told her, she said Why is always that these things happen to you? I said: I was thinking the same. Hehehe!

Steve from Age UK rang me, I missed the call and rang him back. He’s going to call and see me tomorrow at 1400hrs.

Packed up me finished washing and trudged home.

The shoulder painful and the hip a bit so.

IMG_0084Put me stuff away and updated this diary.

Got me nosh prepared. Last of the Polish belly pork, Silesian sausages, me last can of curried beans (Sob!) cheese cobs, tomatoes, baked potatoes and tomatoes.

Very filling, nice.

Took me medications as I got up to visit the porcelain the stiffening of me shoulder was painful. Bet I’ve got some bruises, but can’t see the area of me anatomy to check.

Did some Facebooking but felt so tired.

Finished off this diary.

Must remember Steve from a

Age UK is coming tomorrow… please let me remember!

26.5.15: Inchcock Today – What a Palava!

Tuesday 26th May 2015

Up at 0525hrs. Down and started laptop

IMG_0057Back up to the porcelain. Back down and kettle on (realising I’d forgot to get me milk yesterday – Tsk!) and took me medications.

Photo’d the sky on the way down.

Thought through the days designs.

I’ll skip the launderette today, because yesterday being a Bank Holiday I couldn’t get an appointment at the GP to have me INR Warfarin level checks done, so will have to go to the Queens Medical Centre haematology department today to have it done.

I wanted to set up the shredder and get sorting some paperwork out today, also to get some stuff off to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop.

Missed call from BJ on mobile last night – but with me collapsing and falling asleep? I’ll call him back later at a reasonable time. He was probably calling to see if I was still going to the launderette?

 I rang BJ back and explained thing and he said he could not get to take any bags for me until Thursday, and then not for certain. Told him I appreciate his circumstances and thanked him for his help.

I tried to learn about adding deleting fonts on W8… huh! gave up and loaded IMG_0058my old MS Office onto the new laptop – what a performance, I lost two hours getting it on right… damned new technology!

Set off on me walk into town with me bus-pass and list of things to do and get.

I called in the launderette and had a natter with BJ as he did his washing.

Then set off on me walk into Nottingham City Centre.

IMG_0059I’d not gone more than just over the side road in this picture above and one of the famous Pavement Cyclists made an appearance – with one in the distance too!

I plodded on, feeling a bit better thinking it’s about time I had a decent walk.

As I started down the hill the traffic lights at the junction of Mansfield Road and Huntingdon Street were IMG_0060blocked, traffic at a standstill.

Soon as I got me camera out they started to move a bit.

I called in the Victoria bus-station and got a time-table for the 141 service to Mansfield – hoping I can find time to use it soon.

IMG_0061Went into Tesco and got some bread but forgot to look for me curried beans.

As I came out of the centre the two old Post-boxes caught me eye and I wondered how long it would be before they are replaced.

A bit of Olde England there I thought.

I caught a bus to the Queens Medical Centre, the Y36 ran by a private company. They have bought all Mercedes Benz buses.

IMG_0063I was a tad concerned when I saw the drivers left leg shaking like wot teenagers and druggies do like.

IMG_0064We were soon at the Queens Medical Centre.

There was a good sized queue for the haematology department, so I took a ticket and sat down and got me IMG_0062Dunkirk book out to read. Then changed to reading the free Metro newspaper, where I came across an interesting article about City Cycling… It seems they are to spend £6m on widening the cycling lanes and introducing more of them!

Seems to me the Pavement Cyclists of Nottingham would prefer to use the side-walks and pedestrian areas as it is! IMG_0065The dangerous gits!.

Got seen to by the nice new nurse in the blood room and gave her their nibbles and said me cheerios – no time for a natter as they were busy.

Caught a bus to Bulwell in search of me curried beans.

IMG_0071Amazingly and unintentionally as I took a photo en route – I caught yet another Nottingham Pavement Cyclist through the bus window on the left!

Got into Bulwell and called at the Fulton’s store, but they had no curried beans or microwave sausages either Huh!

So I caught a bus to Arnold… well Arnold eventually that was. It went all over the place – not that it mattered apart from I was not going to get me shredding done later, but it was a nice ride.

IMG_0067Spotted more Nottingham Pavement Cyclist en route. Tsk!

Got to Arnold and went in the Fultons Store there.

They didn’t have any curried beans or microwave sausages either.

I got some milk and cheese though – but after standing at the checkout for ages with no staff appearing I dropped the basket where I as and left.

I went over to Iceland and guess what?… They didn’t have any curried beans or microwave sausages either.

I did get a couple of bits, milk, tomatoes and Bertolli Original Olive oil spread – but no curried beans or microwave sausages.

IMG_0068IMG_0072Caught a bus back to town, believe it or not when I saw it I thought ‘Hello, this bus is in a state. When it moved off the engine didn’t sound very good to me, and it was loaded with Nottinghamians with mobiles and ankle-snappers.

First time on that bus for me – What a route it took as well: Arnold, Oxclose Lane through the Bestwood Estate, Chippenham across to Beckhampton through Rise Park to the shopping centre – and that’s where it IMG_0073happened… the smoke from the engine accompanied by the fumes and the driver had us abandoned the bus and wait for the next one in 15 minutes.

The woman next to me got my sympathy cause it was a cold wind blowing and we were at the top of a hill while we waited for the bus to arrive.

From there we piled onto the new bus and it continued on it’s circuitous route into the City IMG_0074Centre.

We passed the shop I used to manage for the NCS years ago, sadly all closed up and for sale now (Right).

My mind went back to the good and bad times I had there.

IMG_0075Then we travelled up Alfreton Road into town and we passed what was the first ever Marsdens shop I worked at – more memories evoked.

There I was, a 14 year old ankle-snapper full of hopes aspirations and good intentions starting off on me chosen career… and I loved the job as well!

Into town and down Derby Road, I dropped off at the top of Friar lane and walked down and IMG_0076across the Slab Square. 

Odd, but I felt I didn’t belong or fit-in the photograph I took?

Funny that.

The blue blow-up things you can see in the slab square are mini-tennis areas using soft balls.

IMG_0077On the left were mini-tennis courts set-up, and very popular they were too!

I knew they were not using proper tennis balls as soon as I put me camera back in me pocket and one of the balls clouted me on the back of me head. Hehehe, could this only happen to me?

IMG_0066Waiting for the bus to Carrington to arrive (Gawd I love my pensioners free bus-pass to bits!) I had a read of the Post Light.

The letters page had this on the right in it.

So glad to see others want the death penalty bringing back for Pavement Cycling!

Only joking!

Arrived in Carrington and nipped into the Co-op to find that they didn’t have any curried beans or microwave sausages either.

IMG_0078Out and through the twitchell, and got a shock as this twit of a Pavement Cyclist came passed me from behind making jump – the Gerplonkergit him!

Fed the pigeons en route to back to the asylum.

WC’s and cleaned up my bleeding Inch and rear-end piles.

Had  wash and put me shopping such as it was away IMG_0079and got me nosh prepared for later.

Found a letter ont floor – the clinic were not happy with missing last weeks visit – I sent them an email apologising and explaining the reason I missed the  appointment.

I feel such a fool now!

Not that I wasn’t one before like…

IMG_0080The loaded cheese and onion tattie-skins were nice, the English tomatoes very nice.

Used up the last of me Polish belly-pork with garden peas along with some of the tomatoes and gorgeous caramelised red onion relish with some bread thins.

Oh and me last Cox’s apple too. 

I’m getting leg cramps now. Tsk!

Well tired but I did some Facebooking before I tried to get me head down – could I sleep?

Huh!

Mon 25th May 15: Inchcock Today – Confused

Monday 25th May 2015

Awoke with remnants of a dream in me head – wrote em down. Seems I was trying to clean everyone’s shoes as they passed, I had a sink strapped to me shoulder and washed them, then spray painted them, ending up handing them back to the wrong person and then I was up in court being sued for something by a solicitor lady looking down her nose at me, a bit like Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances?

Got up, put the water heater on IMG_0043washed me dishes, took me medications (Forgot the BP again!).

Fed the pigeons and thought what I had on me agenda for today.

Take bag for Nottingham Hospice shop out with me, call in the GP to make an appointment for me INR Warfarin tests for tomorrow, walk up to Sherwood to the hospice shop, then catch bus into town to try and get some milk and curried beans and check out Fultons Foods to see if they had any microwave sausages back in stock, then return to the flea-pit and get some shredding done.

Thought I’d have a quick stab at the new laptop/notebook (What’s the difference?) first, to check if I could get a newer Coreldraw to download. Well, that took care of the next four hours… after much struggling I got one downloaded.

Got the lightest (Although it wasn’t light really) of the bags already made up for the Hospice along with me regular one and set off on walk to the GP surgery, full of plans like.

As I got to the entrance to Sherringham Medical Park and saw it all locked up – I realised it was Bank Holiday Monday… Wotta Plonker!

That means of course the Hospice Charity Shop will not be open. So I trudged back home with the bag, then back to Mansfield Road and caught a bus into the City Centre. The shops there all seemed to be open and I called in Tesco 

IMG_0052Got some bits from Tesco, nice tomatoes, leaves and bread, but they had no Curried Beans in?

Walked through the centre and out the other end, catching a good photo of the famous Nottinghamians ignoring the ‘Don’t Walk’ lights at the junction of Milton Street and Upper Parliament Street… again!

IMG_0053I decided to go to the Pound shop to see if they had any in like.

But no.

Walked down a crowded Clinton Street, back of the Council House, crossed over and down Bridlesmith Gate and into Broad Marsh Mall and the 99p store.

They didn’t have any curried beans in either.

Down the escalator and through and out on Wheeler Gate and called in the Poundland shop.

They didn’t have any curried beans in either.

Limping now, I walked through town calling at the Opticians on me way through, but as I expected they were closed, across the slab square and up King Street, where a bloke without any badging or licence showing stopped me to see if I wanted to donate to some Cub’s company. A bit farcical really, I couldn’t understand every thing he was saying and he gave me a scowl when I declined ant the same time he looked hurt?

IMG_0054On up to the bus-stop, bit of record while i was waiting in the queue I took photograph of the queue in the next stop down.

Best I could make out, everyone in the queue was on a mobile phone!

Note that when I took this photographicalisation the vehicular traffic was at stop – the pedestrians were on green – and true to the obstinacy of Nottinghamians none of the were crossing – they must have been waiting for the red don’t walk light to come on.

IMG_0055As the bus drove up Mansfield road from the City centre I couldn’t help but feel sad as the Rose Of England pub looked barren of customers. Years ago when there was plenty of on-street parking and dozens of little streets all around the building it did a good trade.

I dropped off the bus and called in the Co-op to see if they had any Curried Beans in stock.

They didn’t have any curried beans in either.

Wandered down to Lidl to check there.

They didn’t have any curried beans in either.

‘What’s going on?’ I asked missen?

Back to the bomb-site and a quick blast on the new laptop to keep me eye in on it like. Coreldraw didn’t freeze, but then again I was not doing anything heavy on it yet.

IMG_0056Made me nosh… me best one for ages. It should be mind, bearing in mind what it cost me for the Boczku like.

Up the apples and on the old laptop to finalise this diary and took me medications and goobled up the nosh of the day.

Soon nodded off for an hour.

Watched a DVD…

Sun24.5.15 Inchcock Today – Huh!

Sunday 24th May 2015

Huh!

Despite being so tired, had a job getting off to kip last night – managed around 0300hrs. Woke, springing awake at 0545hrs.

Dreamt something about being in a cave, rope ladders kept falling at the bottom were my old teachers with canes ready to clout me as I landed. The massive high caves had candles on the walls?.

Wondered about whether the deliveries would be coming today and what time – then thought about what I could be sorting while waiting.

Took me morning medications.

The little Inch lesion was bleeding again.

IMG_0043Made a cuppa and laptop on.

Fed the pigeons, all young ones today, I could tell by their feet being a deeper red coloured yer know.

Then I sorted some old paperwork into the bag with the mountain of paperwork in it, in readiness for when the shredder arrives (?) today, to get ‘shreddeded’.

l can feel the stomach brewing up for an evacuation (I hope).

Forgot me BP thingies again this morning – Tsk! Mind on other things methinks.

 IMG_0042I mused for a while over the painting that Patti Berkert did for me when I came out of hospital after me ticker operation – and realised I have many kind understanding friends on the internet who do wish me well without finding faults in me. (That would be oh so easy too – hehe)

I think it was one of Patti’s early attempts at painting and it means so much to IMG_0044me.

Got some more paperwork sorted to shred later… I hoped.

Made a cuppa and read me book for a bit.

The pulled me back again bending to get stuff out of the bottom cabinet to sort out some for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop others in the black rubbish bags.

I think I swore again?

IMG_0045Cleaned around a bit and then on laptop to start this dairy off. As I did I noticed that the skip across the road had been raided and white paint scattered on the road – Tsk!

Waiting for me things to be delivered for hours and hours.

When I gave up doing any more IMG_0046painful sorting out, another cuppa and back to the laptop – when I espied the culprit (Well one if them) that had been doing the antisocial activities at the waste skip across the road.

He’s returned to make more mess again!

Totally care free and apparently IMG_0048without any concern too.

I decided against saying anything or going out to him as he looked like the younger brother of the leader of the gang that mugged me last year – and I did not want to get involved with them again.

Under any circumstances.

A few hours later I got a call from the PC World chap to say he was outside the house trying to deliver me goods.

I opened the door and saw him at the other end of the road outside someones house with a barrow of goods at his feet. I called him back told him to look behind him and see me waving at him!

He put the stuff back in his van and moved down to the flea-pit and handed them to me. The man in the shop when I bought them said they’d set it all up for me, notebook and scanner, he said like the man who phoned yesterday did: “All set-up, ready to go!” I thought the driver had gone to get some paperwork from his van, but he disappeared. Humpf!

I got the laptop going and set up the scanner. The instruction manual for the scanner installation said to put in the CD that came with it and follow instructions… if only life was so easy eh? After moving half way in the the installation window it went no further. After 5 minutes I got messages telling me if I wished to continue with this installation I needed to install an update – so I clicked Yes. It froze. Then tried afresh and got the same message again? Unsure whether to click yes or no again I gave up. Help needed here then!

Not confident using this new Windows and  I didn’t like the gaudy background picture on it.

It was getting late now and I was well tired, so decided to switch of the notebook to clear the frozen messages, restart and put a plain colour on as background… Hehehe! I didn’t know how to turn it off, to sleep or restart it did I!

I went ont web and found out. It said slide pointer inwards from the top or bottom of the right side of the screen to get these Charm Bars up – it didn’t work and I delved into the help files ont web again. Transpired that loads of people have had the same problem. Press Windows button + C and they come up.

Grand I thought so I did, and clicked Restart – that was the start of a marathon wait while it downloaded 87 updates!

IMG_0049I made and ate me nosh while waiting, it were beginning to get dark now!

I have to say, despite me annoyance at having to wait over 2.5 hours for the updated to install, I really really enjoyed me nosh today. Well smoked Kippers in tomato sauce and vegetables, new potatoes and nice sweet canned Petit Pois! Even the tatties were excellent!

As the notebook told me it had completed the downloads I nearly cried out with joy – then it started Configuring the 87 uploads – oh dear…

Managed to get me blue background on the screen then: W+C, Settings, Power, then selected Turn off – seems a bit convoluted to me for the new windows 8.1?

Fancy figures on a sticker on the notebook: Aspire E 17 ESI-711-P3LV Fancy name that?.

A bit not fully comprehending these figures though, I know it is a powerful machine the man at PC World said it was: HDMI port? 100GBHDD? 6GBDD23 LM? With Pentium 90 Core Proc 83540 I know this one I think, it’s the processor innit?

I wrote these figures down on the back of some letter I was going to  scrap, so as to remember em and put em on here like.

IMG_0050

Realised when I did, it was a letter from the Manchester Council in reply to my appeal against a parking ticket. An interesting incident this was, a few years ago mind:

I got this fine through the post about me leaving me vehicle on Granby Row in Manchester on a day I was at work in Nottingham with me car on CCTV for 15 hours naturally including the time they said I was in Manchester illegally parking!

Well I was in fine form and returned the summons with words to the effect of: I was in Nottingham with my vehicle from 1500hrs to 0600hrs on the sad day, the vehicle was parked in the car park on the premises and I had the CCTV recording to prove this. (I also gave names and contact numbers of several officers I was working with on the night shift.)

If your Parking Warden would like, I can send him the address of several excellent opticians in Nottingham that might help him? I’m afraid we have no Jobsworth or Stiff-upper-lip shops, so I’m afraid I cannot help you Sir!

By gum I felt good when I sent that…

This letter was the reply Michael Herbert sent me, a right Herbert as me Dad would have said – no sense of humour at all some folks Tsk!

Must try to some sleep in now, don’t want to get up late in the morning cause I must go book an appointment with the GP for me next INR Warfarin level test. And I want to take some bags to the Hospice shop, and I’m short on nosh too.

Really want to get some shredding done, and learn about the new notebook, but we’ll see how things go – chaotically perhaps? Hahaha!

Huh! me piles are bleedin’ again now…

TTFN all.

Sat 23.5.15 Inchcock Today: Waiting indoors fer his equipment to arrive?

Saturday 23rd May 2015

I had surprisingly good kip last night, over 6 hours and that’s rare fer me. Off course it was dream filled, but blown if I remember any details this time. Funny that, sometimes remembering so much of them and others nowt much at all. Wonder if anyone else is like this?

No WCing this morning yet?

Had a good scrub-up and limped down stairs (The angina a bit nasty, arthritis in knees not too bad but the hands are, bleeding from me piles cleaned up, reflux valve sticking a bit, the blind boil and skin cancer patch tender and the dizzies have started early – Tsk!).

I gathered me things to do a search of the City Homes site, made a cuppa and laptop on.

Logging on took about six attempts, why I don’t know.

Realised I’d forgotten to do me BP tests, hey-ho too late now.

Made another cuppa and started to search the Independent Living (Seniors Aided Homes) section.

The first one on the list was ‘High Cross Leys’ on Woodborough Road near the City Centre. Not a Council one, a private one that the council advertised. I then did a search for the complex on the web and got this up:

Man Dies in Flat Fire

HighCross1 

A man’s body was discovered after a fire at Highcross Leys warden-aided complex in St Ann’s.

Police and firefighters were called to Highcross Leys, Woodborough Road, at 10.20am.

The body of a man, yet to be formally identified, was found in one of the flats.

Firefighters from Central, Carlton and Arnold stations put the fire out by 11.10am.

A number of other people were treated after breathing in smoke.

A forensic examination was carried out involving the East Midlands fire dog investigation unit.

Police are working with the fire service to establish the cause of the blaze, numerous suspicious circumstances are being investigated.

Well that gave me encouragement and cheered me up no-end!

HighCross1I continued searching for any properties that I could qualify for and wanted to look at one in a high rise block in Sherwood.

The system then told me ‘Page unavailable’ and the Council’s site froze. Huh!

I got back on the page and it would not let me in to bid or view properties. But I did read some of the ‘Rules’ for Independent Living Accommodation.

There are Four bands. Band 1: The one most likely to be granted a place – down to Band 4: Those with their own home the least likely.

As I say, I’m cheering missen up no-end today… being classed in Band 4 like…

Tried again on the City Homes site to find Sunridge Courts, which is the one nearest to me and most suitable because I could keep my own GP if I could get in there. Nothing available to Band 4 folk like wot I am though!

While searching for Sheltered housing I came across Miss Cullen’s Almshouses in Sherwood that have been converted into flats (Built 1882). There was no costs displayed but I sent them an email asking for details and showing my interest and reasons. Now I must not get excited about this, just hopeful.

Did a bit of cleaning, I’m expecting the hoover and shredder to arrive with the laptop and scanner late afternoon – but not sure of course – can’t concentrate very well. As the day goes on I’m worried if I have to visit the WC and miss them?

I’ve got that many papers to sort and shred, I’ll start sorting them now.

Got a call from PC World who told me my laptop is ready to be collected? I informed him I was told it would be delivered along with me hoover scanner, inks, Iron and shredder today or tomorrow. Oh dear dear dear… not another ‘Whoppsiedangleplop’ surely? I wouldn’t be surprised though.

After a couple of hours bending and sorting and packing stuff fer the bins, recycling and Nottingham Hospice shop – I’m tuckered! Me backs well painful now.

Made a cuppa and took a break on Facebook for a bit.

Well done that… but don’t feel up to much still – Tsk!

IMG_0037Tried to do some more sorting out, and came across an old Orlando Sentinel newspaper! I posted it on the TFZ to see if anyone could guess the date of it – after going on Coreldraw9 and blocking it showing.

Got some paperwork sorted out that needs shredding when the machine arrives – and a lot more to get ready too. That is if I’m up to it by the time it comes, very tired now. Poor old scrote!

IMG_0038Make another cuppa strong tea and gave up doing any more sorting. Made up a good few bags to go to the Hospice shop, now I just need time to take them there.

I was musing over the receipts from PC World, and it dawned on me how much I’d actually spent – it frit me a bit – but I do or will need everything I bought. Whether it comes today or tomorrow I must get some sleep on to go with the good one I had last night.

The receipt read:

Brother Bro LC227 XL VAL £59.99 That was the ink I think

Brother MFC J4625 DW £99.99 The printer copier

Philips GC2040/20 X00000060618 £19.99 The iron?

Hoover Blaze BLD 3001 X000011123 £64.99 The vacuum cleaner

Fellows 60CS Shredder Xoooo114709 Paper shredder

Acer Aspire ES 1-711 £379.99 Laptop

MCA LS 0000 + CLD WBW 0000112088 £39.00 No idea what this is?

KNH Set up & P 32GB 1X0000075499 – Knowhow Report Setup – In store USB set £45.00???

Confusing innit?

IMG_0040Got even more paperwork sorted ready fer shredding.

No delivery by 1845hrs, so made me nosh and got  on with this diary.

The pod peas were uneatable eurgh!

Hope the delivery comes early in the morning so I can get some shredding done… perhaps… possibly… maybe…

Why Did the Inchcock Party get No Votes?

Statements from Inchock Party Members in their failure to get any votes in the May General Elections.

Raving reporter Dunc the Hunk interviewed some of the remaining members of the party to get their views on the abject failure.

IPgcInchcock:

Following the highly surprising result in the May General Elections – the fact that our Inchcock Party got no, nil, keine, nema, acune votes at all, may have electors perceiving the wrong message. It does concern me that our standing members failed to vote for themselves somewhat.

I think the supply of Rumanian lager and Irish Vodka I’ve obtained should encourage members to stick with the party and try again perhaps?

IPdannysozDanny Soz:

Wot? We ain’t failed mush! I’m drawing up a new manifesto now.

We is going to bounce back with a vengeance.

Unlimited immigration, free lager for the under 18’s, close all the prisons down, make smoking Golden Virginia compulsory and ban UKIP.

IPRachelRachel Headturner:

The elementary and fundamental causes of the Inchcock Party’s failure in this election can be attributed to the nepheliad-like leadership from Inchcock himself.

He set out to vote and ended up at the hospital haematology department, caught a bus to go back to the election booth and realised he had got on the wrong bus. Got off of it and caught another into Nottingham City centre.

Where as he approached the bus-stop to get to his election ward to vote he was arrested for feeding the pigeons in the city centre.

By the time he was released on bail the voting booths had closed down!

I ask you, how did we stand a chance with that ‘Whoopsiedangleplop’ prone pillock in charge.

I will be making a challenge for the leadership of the party in readiness for the next elections.

IPshirleyShirley Shazaam:

Unfortunately I was decorating the new house when voting day arrived.

I was getting on tremendously well until I came across Mike Steedenski in his chair watching the TV and having a drinkie-phoo, and had the devils own job of moving him so I could get to the fish aquarium to paint it.

He slid into a stupor and slid off the chair you see… this enabled me to get some of the emulsioning done on one end of the fish tank, but as I was just finishing that, he stirred and tripped me up causing the paint to go all over the new carpet and he was sick on it.

The ambulance arrived and managed to remove the paint-roller from his rear end, and by then it was… oh… sorry, what was the question?

MikeReadMike Steedenski:

One election day, there I was deep in concentrating on the election results on the Adult Channel when the missus foolishly came near me with the Chinese produced Ukrainian emulsion paint we got from Lidl. She knew I wus allergic to the fumes and I passed out, spilling me Absinthe and cherryade drink.

Despite it being her foolish actions that made me topple over and the wench she seemed annoyed with me – and attacked me with the paint-roller as I was coming round. Women eh?

Still it’s a shame about us missing voting cause I was in the A&E having a certain cavity checked for any damage caused like.

Still I can go back to me Traffic Warden job.

IPAlienoraAlienora Funbutt:

The intricateness of analysing the cause of the Inchcock Party failure lies within the confusion brewed within the politically accepted pedegorisation of acceptable failures as opposed to the correctionalisation of tactical preparation and responses as one would expect.

The exoticness is plain to see, and further development of positionally adopted autonomous actions would not necessarily tremefy the party’s leadership, but rather encourage a new more agreeable standard and a much more acceptableness and understanding of the needs of both electors without grandiloquence. And then we could start having raves on a regular basis to replace party seminars. We still might not win – but it would be fun!

Big Gazza:GazLogo

I think that we were perhaps always never not going to get any votes yer know. Hic!

The sooner they bring back the cat and genuine pork scratching the sooner things will not get no better if not worse!