Eccentric Duncan helps, trains, and supports Inchcock

Charity Worker Duncan Robertson Trains Inchcock

Duncan, being the charitable caring person he is, soon picked up on, as he read the pathetic blog diary Inchcock Today the obvious problems that Inchy was having and his failings causing them.


He had a talk with three woof-woofs, Old Rab, Susie and Spice and they all agreed that the decrepit Inchy really needed help and guidance and thought Duncan was the man to give this support and encouragement.

To prove his benevolent humanitarian nature, he even decided not to charge any VAT on his bill for the service, and thought it best not to mention the charge to Inchy until after the treatment was over, so as not to worry him like.

He’d already told Inchy on his previous visit to him, about his Schizophrenia and to expect him to appear wearing different clothing. Inchy just said he’s read about the Amsterdam airport and could see no problem, but looked a little confused.

Ode01As Duncan set off, he thought it best if he removed his L plates so as not to worry Inchy.

He set his Sat-Nav up for Nottingham and within an hour found himself approaching Alton Towers and knew something had gone wrong with the Sat-Nav possibly?

Q02He pulled up and took off his jumper as he was sweating a bit about getting lost

After an hour or so he woke up.

The Sat-Nav got him into Nottingham and to Inchcock’s block of flats without further bother.

He found Inchy outside his flats Q03making a phone call as his mobile came to life.

Dunc changed into his Batman outfit and met with Inchy and they went to his flat and had a natter and a cup of char.

He asked Inchy if he’d mind wearing an outfit that he’s hired for him and he agreed.

Duncan mentioned that he’d been to the Woodthorpe Park many any years ago and remembered it well, because he had dropped and lost a threepenny bit there in a croft in 1968 and would he mind going out with him to see if they could find it?

NP01bSo when Inchy agreed, Dunc got his sign that he’d made out of one of his bags, and they set off into the woods.

Where Duncan said a few words in remembrance of the threepenny bit and laid a plaque.

Inchy liked the outfit that Dunc had supplied for him and was a tad peeved when Dunc told him he had another one for him to change into.

OAP01They went back to the flat and Duncan started his training session with Inchy.

Soon Inchy had learned how to visit the porcelain without giving himself shower at the same time and learnt what the roll of paper in there was for.

NP01bMarissaThey changed outfits again and set off on a walk so Inchy could get some tips about walking without talking – because this has been a problem for others as he usually poddles along muttering away to his-self.

He was soon cured of this habit when Dunc clouted him across his head with his Bat-glove each time he started waffling.

Inchy changed clothes and they went to the local supermarket where Duncan hoped to train Inchy not to spend too much money and buy thing he didn’t need!

When Dunc saw him putting two bottles of Virgin Extra oil in his basket he inquired why he had done so.

Q04Inchy replied: “They’re on offer, a pound off if I buy two of em!”

The Bat-glove was utilised again, with a venomous right hook following the initial slap across his mush.

They returned to Inchies flat, and Dunc brought up the matter of his fee, Q07demanding that it is paid straight away or he would take goods to the value from the flat.

Although, if he took everything it wouldn’t add up to total of his bill presented to Inchy!

They tried to work out a weekly payment but Dunc wasn’t happy at that at all.

Inchy got his calculator out and decided it would take him ten years to pay at the weekly rate suggested, taking into account the interest as well like. He pointed out to Dunc that he would probably not live to 81 years of age and he wouldn’t get the dosh then would you?

GCnailsDunc softened a touch, and gave Inchy his last costume to put on while he thought over the proposition for payment.

Duncan enjoyed fitting it for him and asked if he could think of any other way to pay the bill.

“Ah… yes…” cried Inchy, “I have an American friend coming to see me next month, and the friend is a police officer of sorts in the States! Let me show you a photograph and you can meet up and sort out me payment!”

Q06That shook Duncan up!

He wanted no truck nor bother with this gal!

So he decided to leave it up to whatever she decided when she came to visit Inchy and he’s agree to it.

Now, this tale is a load of baloney and just fun, but I’d like to report a serious little item here about Duncan Robertson…

Seren1aHe is now a grandfather again!

How such a beautiful Angel as Seren came from Duncan’s loins is amazing!

Nice one Dunc – well done, gawd yer must be so proud – and rightly so too!

No Politicians, Pavement Cyclists, Traffic Wardens or Jobs-worths were harmed in the creation of is post.


Inchcock Today – Tue 13 Oct 15: Housebound thanks to Wilko – Must remember to thank em!

Tuesday 13th October 2015

Up at 0415 – straight to the porcelain – usual bleeding front the and rear. Cleaned missen up.

Kettle on for a cuppa, took me medications.

Today being the day for me Wilko order to arrive at the flats – and that’s all it is guaranteed to do – as the lady who I spoke with from Wilko said it will be up to the courier driver whether he/she will take the goods upstairs for me or not, as apparently they do no have insurance cover for using the lifts?

01topj6I emailed Deana Walker the Obergruppenfurher for the flats with a request that the caretaker might keep an eye out for the delivery and assist me getting me stuff up to the flat in the event that the driver is unwilling to.

Got an interesting Automatic email in return:

01topj7It informed me that she is on holiday Monday 7th September returning to work on Monday 14th September?

It is October innit?

Confused now.

Twixt 12 > 1400hrs Asda should be delivering.’

So, as I don’t know the number for the shed so can’t ring them, I rang Deana’s mobile – no answer, no voice-mail. Assuming I rang the right number.

Can’t go out to ask anyone to pass on a message or go to the hut in case the delivery should arrive and they call me on the intercom?

In a building with 200 other residents and so alone at the same time. Hehe!

Ah well, I’ll get some graphics done then, oh, I’ll make another cuppa first.

Frustrating day and I’ve only been up for five hours…

Started doing some graphicalisationing.

Email in from Wilko, telling me that Night freight had despatched four parcels, and will update me further if needed?

Asda delivery arrived. Not much in it today, but got some seasoned fries I’m looking forward to later.

Had a Pot Noodle for nosh, added some Marmite to boost it a bit.

Tried to clean the draining board again, but it’s too scratched and not nice to look at. Tried the expensive Fairy Deep cleaner on it, no good.

No signs of the Wilko delivery yet.

Back to creating me graphics.

Got some done ready to use later when I get me Duncan post done.

Made a cuppa nd took me evening medications.

Getting hungry now, but don’t want to waste me food if I cook me chips and the Wilko delivery arrives. But will it? Getting on now, nearly 1700 hours… will it arrive… ♫ Dang dang dang dang! ♫

Well, gone 1800hrs and no Wilko delivery.

I’ve emailed enquiries at Wilko to inform them. Tsk!

Disappointed to say the least, a wasted day!

IMG_0008Got me chips and pork thingies in’t oven cooking.

Took medications.

This nosh was grand.

Rated it 9.2/10.

Head down and so disappointed with the Wilko Non-delivery

TTFN all.