Ode about my Solicitors. (Using the term loosely!)

Ode about my Solicitors

01W01

I had, to sell my house, and was recommended to use FraserBrown,

Which has been as pleasant, as when my heart valve broke down,

They asked for items for proof of ID, so I took them to their offices in Town,

I thought they would get better and took it with a frown,

They called to ask for them again, told them I taken them down.

……………………

A letter followed asking for them again, and the next night…

A bloke rang me up; I told him he’s got them at their Nottingham site,

They assured me they now had everything; I was high as a kite,

Until the following weekend, another letter asking again, I was in a plight!

……………………

Another call at their offices and everything would be good I was told again,

They were becoming annoying and rather a bane,

Then they sent complicated paperwork for me to sign again,

And yet letter requesting what I’d took in already – now I felt disdain!

……………………

Next, a mammoth questionnaire for me to fill out,

Demands for me to mend the boiler, list things I know nowt about,

Where are the underground sewers? Four pages of it to fill out,

Planning permission needed? FENSA certificate? I’m getting the runabout!

…………………….

Fitted units? Light fittings? Outdoor area? Access? – I cannot cope,

I’ve asked Steve from Age, can he help and give me some hope?

No answer from him yet, I’ll get none or soft soap,

I cannot handle this angst, suppose I’m a bit of a dope,

Rather than deal with these people, I’d prefer a Cystoscope!

The End (Is nigh).

No Solicitors were harmed in any way during the creation of this crap Ode. (Shame!)

By Inchie

78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!

2 comments

  1. Marissa Bergen – Burbank, Ca – This blog is a semi auto-biographical view of my life, beginning as a rocker chick from Brooklyn, moving on to playing in a punk band on New York's Lower East Side, to my current lot in life as a working mother of two, now living in Los Angeles. I love writing because you can be whoever you want to be when you write. Therefore, I would never want to pigeon-hole myself too much in my blog. However, I don't think I will ever deviate too much from what is innately in my blood, that being humor and sarcasm. Recently I have been turning more and more to poetry. I like poetry because it let's you say so much more with so much less, so much more about so little, and it also distances you from the subject matter, making you much less likely to offend someone, which I would probably otherwise do on a daily basis.
    Marissa Bergen says:

    So then, you wouldn’t recommend them?

    Reply
    1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      I don’t think so Marissa. Hehe! X

      Reply

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