Ode about my Solicitors. (Using the term loosely!)

Ode about my Solicitors


I had, to sell my house, and was recommended to use FraserBrown,

Which has been as pleasant, as when my heart valve broke down,

They asked for items for proof of ID, so I took them to their offices in Town,

I thought they would get better and took it with a frown,

They called to ask for them again, told them I taken them down.


A letter followed asking for them again, and the next night…

A bloke rang me up; I told him he’s got them at their Nottingham site,

They assured me they now had everything; I was high as a kite,

Until the following weekend, another letter asking again, I was in a plight!


Another call at their offices and everything would be good I was told again,

They were becoming annoying and rather a bane,

Then they sent complicated paperwork for me to sign again,

And yet letter requesting what I’d took in already – now I felt disdain!


Next, a mammoth questionnaire for me to fill out,

Demands for me to mend the boiler, list things I know nowt about,

Where are the underground sewers? Four pages of it to fill out,

Planning permission needed? FENSA certificate? I’m getting the runabout!


Fitted units? Light fittings? Outdoor area? Access? – I cannot cope,

I’ve asked Steve from Age, can he help and give me some hope?

No answer from him yet, I’ll get none or soft soap,

I cannot handle this angst, suppose I’m a bit of a dope,

Rather than deal with these people, I’d prefer a Cystoscope!

The End (Is nigh).

No Solicitors were harmed in any way during the creation of this crap Ode. (Shame!)

2 thoughts on “Ode about my Solicitors. (Using the term loosely!)

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