Friday 21st April 2017

Javanese: Ana 21 April 2017

0420hrs: No idea at all what the dreams were about, just knew I’d had them.

Awakened to get out of the £300 second-hand recliner and felt the warm wet sensation from the lower regions, saw the blood and made my way to the porcelain thrown. Titivated things up, clothes into a bucket soaking, and plonked me mass back on the throne for a while in a deep nonconforming medley of horrible thoughts and self-recrimination. No answers, no conclusions, I cleaned the room up and went to the kitchen to make a mug of tea and take the medications. I was going to do the Health Checks, but my moroseness made me forget to do them.

Opened the window and made a brew, took the medications and lost myself again in pointless, futile thoughts of improving things in my tumultuous mind.

Put away the flat clothes airer from yesterday, and out the towel on the bendy one in the hallway.

Got the computer on to finish yesterday’s post, very hard to find the words. Started this one off, and remembered to do the Health Checks. So I did.

Made another mug of tea and did some WordPress reading for an hour or two, then posted yesterday’s diary off.

No interest in going out at all seems like I’m content to hibernate… Got to shake this off before Monday when I go for the INR blood test. Good job I’ve opened the windows and used the air spray. Hehe!

Went on Facebook.

Did a graphic for the TFZer gals, with Thomas flying across the room. Hope they like it.

Duodenal Donald has started giving me a lot of pain. Took a painkiller and a swig of antacid – but they are not working yet. Made another mug of tea and started a complicated graphic that will take ages from scratch, in the hopes of entertaining and be making people smile and perhaps just as importantly, try to replace the feeling of recrimination that is so heavy, for a while at least.

Facebook froze on me, had to restart.

Several hours later I’d got them done.

Still feeling so down with myself, Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna playing up and hard to concentrate properly.

Had a look at YouTube for a while, in between drinking tea.

1322hrs: Got a call from someone, couldn’t understand all that they said but wanted me to test the wrist alarm, cause they had a fault come through to their end. I did. All okay.

Feeling so down now, can’t concentrate on anything, Stomach churning, Anne Gyna and Duodenal Donald getting hard to bear. I sent off an email to the surgery to ask for an appointment.

Got a reply withing ten minutes. The first one available is on Thursday 27th April at 0850hrs. Put in on the calendar. Long time to wait, but still, With a Dr De Selver, as Dr Vindla is still off. (Seven weeks now, hope she is alright.)

Threw myself into cleaning up… well a bit anyway, cause the pain was too much, so I settled in the chair and prayed for sleep, but of course, the rambling worried, guilty mind would not let me.

Tried to concentrate on graphicationalisationing again. Gave up.

Took the evening medications and a bit of Facebooking and communicationalisationing with Lynton Cox, bless is cotton socks.

Got the fodder sorted.I did add a few chestnuts after taking the picture, though.

I did add a few chestnuts after taking the picture, though.

Just feeling so depressed and in such pain, I was not hungry much.

Did the last of the today’s BP, pulse, temp Health Checks.

The temp and pulse were a little bit up?

Don’t think anything here to worry about, I’m doing enough of that over the joke cock-up.

TTFN