November 2021: Local News Snippets

Comments from the Nottingham Proletariats, Photographs, bad grammar and punctuation, and other sundry rubbish!

Starting with the serious stuff. I’ve placed a picture, with the report of the Doctor who is responsible for so many deaths. Hopefully, if anyone is going in for surgery, and recognize the Doctor, can refuse to be treated by him.

Mr X, Nottingham resident (84), suggested that the return of hanging would be more of a deterrent.

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Mr X, Nottingham resident (84), quoted; Most likely a drugs gang killing. See the watch the youth has on? And the tattoos, are they a gang thing or what? Bring back hanging, and they won’t do it again, now will they?

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Mrs Y (82), a sweet-natured local resident, is all for starting a Nottingham Mafia, to control the crime waves that the non-existent police force can’t cope with. Adding; It’s the judges and the legal system I blame as much as the crude scum we’ve let into the country. A well-armed Nottingham Mafia can keep an eye on the rare odd police officer when they see them, and noble the offenders on the spot. Scumbags!

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Wilberforce Hutherswaite (73), a local resident, commented on the rising prices that are getting out of hand. It’s the bloody Tories again! They are the buggers that own or have shares in the rob-dogging, European owned greedy companies, purrin’ the prices up agen! It’s the Chinese who started off the Coronavirus, but yer cun rest assured that the other crooked politicians and shareholders have played a part in it… all designed to put prices and profit up! I towed ’em thurrit’d happen! Farsounds of illegals to feed too!

Still, yer doesn’t like to complain does yer. ‘ave yer gorrany weed on yer to spare, Inchcock?

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Wilhelmina Thunderthighs (77), a retired RMN nurse from Huddersfield originally, a Nottingham Resident since she got out of prison in 1975, offered her views on the Coronavirus situation, with figures spiking again:  “I blame the anti-masker shitheads. Likely unemployed benefit-claiming morons. You know, those with several different fathered ankle-snappers, and on their fifth live-in partner! One living rent-free in Sherwood, I read it in the Evening Post, so it has to be true… claiming child benefit of £690 a week, get their electricity and gas paid for. They’ve just had their Universal Credit reduced to £650 a week, so they will not be happy… But will they wear a facemask? No! Erm… what was the question?

The new Coronavirus variant found in Nottingham is of concern.

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Comment from Ecclisiastclese Edwards (67). That’s the fourth fire this year on the industrial park in Lenton. Obviously, brought Abarght by the illegal immigrants they employ. I don’t blame the incomers, who can blame ’em for gerrin’ away from Lithuania, Poland etc., not me! If any other country would house and feed me if I got away, I’d take it too! Them who are escaping wars who I feel sorry for. Cause, there are bound to be some murderers, paedophiles and terrorists among ’em, that’s to be expected. I reckon some arsonists have sneaked and got underpaid jobs ‘ere?

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Comment from Blanche Bloomerworthy (78), an ex Prison Warden, living in Sherwood, Nottingham. I’ve been watching this happen every day for months. It dawned on this morning, can you eat these ducks? They could be a solution to the food shortages?

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Not a made-up name! All true!

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Unfortunately, Inchcock got his walker-guide wheels stuck in the snow this morning. Over he went, landing in a blubbery mass of flesh onto the wet grass and gravel. He’d like to thank the youth passing by for not stopping to help, and calling  Inchy a f___cking old idiot, as he carried on his way on his Escooter!

I’m losing faith in humanity!

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Part of the ‘Inchcock’s Local News Series’

12 thoughts on “November 2021: Local News Snippets

  1. Timothy Price – I specialize in daily art, documentary and promotional photography. If you have a special event such as a musical production, play, concert, etc. or have a product or fashion that you need photographed, or you are a performer, musician and artist in need of promotional photos please email me or call.
    Timothy Price

    Lovely news. Sound a lot like here.

    • Inchcock – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock

      Haha! I’m certain the end is near, Tim. Hehehe!

  2. Wot a long list of ne’er-do-wells yer have there, mate. I have had a tube run down into the digestive tract more than several times. If I get another one, I shall check to see if this cretin of a surgeon has snuck into these hereabouts. HRH Lisa has also been left to fend for herself on a number of occasions. One time we shared a stretcher that they pushed up against a wall. Worra bad time that was.
    We are fortunate to live in a town with very little crime and with the best schools in the state. It has been that way pretty much all my life, my grandparents lived about a mile down the pike (US 27, a highway that runs from Northern Michigan to Southern Florida).
    I might have to head over the pond and shake the place up. That should do it, of course.
    We’re also on an Omicron lookout. Just wot we are all needing, innit?
    When I head over there, wearing my superhero outfit, should I ask to see the Sherrif of Nottingham? Just have to put my outfit in the clothes dryer. Have to find my archery set, almost fogot that little detail.

    Signing off under my superhero moniker — WAZ: Wizard of Waz

    • Inchcock – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock

      Sorry to bring back such terrible times to mind, Billum. 😢 Two great spirits got through it, thank heavens for your resilience!
      Bestest not visit the little island at the moment, fings are not good. Our Furher is red listing again with the new virus attacking us. Nasty little things these Coronvirus’s! But it would be lovely to meet up, all the same.
      I love the superhero outfit idea, mate!
      WAS and HRH? So glad I found you both!
      TTFNski.

      • Fings are funny all over. Ain’t they or ain’t they not? That omicron beastie seems to be holding its cards close so far, I keep reading the same conjectures broadcast 24/7. So far, it appears that the actual facts have not yet arrived. That could be a good thing if the paucity of data indicates that its bark is bigger than its bite. What kind of a bark does a Covid make? That sounds like the beginning of a joke. Here is another possibility: A delta variant, an omicron variant, and a flu virus walk into a bar…
        I shall wait at least a couple weeks before asking our secretary to book a room on your tiny island just now. Rather a better idea to make my way to that magical and apocryphal laboratory of mine, might just be able to concoct a vaccination that addresses incensate brutality, Mike-Fries syndrome, and common criminality.

      • Inchcock – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
        Inchcock

        That comment gave me few laughs and wry smiles, mate… I fang you!
        A delta variant, an omicron variant, and a flu virus walk into a bar… “We’d better get on with the tellurian terminations lads… I hear that Bubonic Plague Pete is on his way back to take the credit…”
        I often picture your laboratory, Bill, in my mind, it changes each time. Hahaha!
        Cheers, sleep for HRH ♥

      • There must be some good jokes waiting for omicron to show up in “pub”lic. Bubonic Plague Pete got the job done. Was it not 1/3 of Europeans that died from it?
        Thank you for picturing me lab, I likes to change its appearance as often as possible. I am wanting to buy some flasks, beakers, and glass tubing specifically designed for the omicroners. Variant-friendly equipments the difference.

      • Inchcock – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
        Inchcock

        I does believe it was about that many snufties from BP Pete’s intervention, Sir.
        This mornings figures for UK Omnicromers:
        London borough of Barnet – 2
        Brentwood, Essex – 1
        London borough of Camden – 2
        London borough of Haringey – 1
        Liverpool – 1
        North Norfolk – 1
        Nottingham – 2
        London borough of Sutton – 1
        London borough of Wandsworth – 1
        London borough of Westminster – 2
        Cunning little Omicroners, all in three days!
        I shall be masking up well for the dentist, bladder examination, booster jab and opticians visits to make… Mind you, Shirley has had her booster cancelled???
        TTFNski, fare thee well!

      • Inchcock – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
        Inchcock

        Ah, and they the benefit of pipe baccy, too, Bill. Hahaha!

    • Inchcock – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock

      Hahaha! I thought the same thing when I read that there were no injuries in any of the fires, Paul. Suspicious to me.

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