Inchy: Sun 29 Oct 23: Marathon Ablutioning Farcicalness!

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After trying to get to sleep for an hour or two last night, I realised the futility and got up to have a walk around the flat. (I may have spat and cursed a little.)
As went to pick up my to carry with me, I found that nothing had gone from the bladder to the bag! The moment I’d heaved my rhinoceros-like, but flabby body from the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy & dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping, recliner
Within seconds the evacuation from my bladder to the night-pouch started. Phew!

Got back to sleep, and four hours or so later, I rose again from the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, cringingly-beige-coloured, grotty, dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. Off to get the kettle on for brew of Glengettie.
On seeing Venus up in the sky, I wobbled back into the living room and got , and took this shot. A much better effort. You can actually see the planet!

I was planning… Yes, I do sometimes! To get the date tabs done on CorelDraw for the blogs, then get the ablutions done… Best laid plans of mice, men and Inchy?
I thought then, “I’m doing well here, really getting a crack on with these tabs”.
I’d done five days worth of them…
Then… I realised I’d put the wrong year on them all!
However, I did have a stroke of good luck as well, though. Oh, Yes! I’d not converted them to Bitmap yet, only grouped each graphic. So, had to go to each page again, ungroup them individually, and correct the dates. This meant I would not have time to spare for the two-hour minimum session, as the carer would arrive as I was abluting. No carer should see me in my naked state! It just wouldn’t be fair, and may even prove fatal to them. Imagine the shock for they would suffer. Hehehe! I pressed on with the blogging and got deeply into it. I then noticed at 10:00hrs, that no Carer had called yet. Hope they are alright.

I’d forgotten about making the brew of tea. So I did!
As I got to drinking it, the need for the utilisationing of the arose. I hobbled to the wet room, and the evacuation soon started… but didn’t seem to want to stop! Several times I thought it was over, but no! More spat out again, spraying liquid poo-poo everywhere it was possible to do so! Took me ages to clean up.

Back to the computer, and the now very-cold mug of Glengettie tea! I gave up trying to get a drink and opened another bottle of tonic water. Tsk! Washed the mug, hung it up, and in walked Carer Selena. I asked her if she was okay. Had she had any bother that had delayed her, with it being well gone 10 o’clock now?
A little smile appeared on her face. You know, one of those “Oh, dear, what a clot” looks. Yes, yet again, I had missed the changing the clocks!
Looking & feeling a fool, comes naturally to me! Selena took the three large but not heavy bags of waste with her from the doorway for me. And,

I made yet another mug of tea. Seeing the beautiful cloud formations, I got from my pocket
I took a photographicalisation of the mornings… well, near lunchtime now, view!
I’m not sure why, the the odd chubby cloud on the top left of this photo, seemed out of place to me, but it did? An alien spacecraft incognito? Haha!

Carer Joe-Anne arrived. We had a netter… or even a natter, while she sorted the meds out for me. A good gal!

WARNING: X-RATED BUT HILARIOUSStarting with a visit to the WC.
Cleaning the teeth, yes, the gums bled!Shaving produced… ready for this?
Not a Single Cut! – .
Showering… Ah, well, that didn’t go too well.
Got the shower chair in position…
Went to close the shower curtain and…

The end loop shot off of the ceiling rail. Then the fun started; I had to fetch the little step ladders from the front room, to reach to replace the ring. against the c1966, £300 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.
I used the flattened step ladder as I would a walking frame to get back to the wet room. Got inside, and tried to make sure the stepladder was as firm as possible before proceeding up to get to the curtain rail… ! I caught the top plaster on the right leg, against a sharp bit of bent metal on the step, and off came the plaster pad, followed by a fair amount of flowing fluid & blood! Argh!
I got some kitchen towelling on the hole in the leg ASAP, and it wasn’t long before I realised that this was not going to work. Being a Sunday, there were no district nurses on duty, so, being a man of the calibre wot I am, I did not panic, and coped calmly, and practically with the situation at hand. I went in the front room to get a pad from the nurse’s dollop of medical stuff…
I found one about the right size and returned with it to the wet room… As I entered, I managed to bang my right shoulder against the door frame. This was already still painful from the Covid jab, and now, it had set off . I wasn’t sure whether to cry, scream or what! I had to stop for a moment or two to collect balance and mind… not that collecting my mind would be of much use. HaHa!
Then, I found I’d left a trail of blood from the front room, and hallway, to the shower! I opted to cry!  Not really!
Dried up the bit of blood still flowing, and decided to get on with the curtain hook, then get the shower and let the leg get plenty of water on it, then dry it, and put the pre-medicated plaster onto the wound.
I shut the door, gingerly got up the ladder, and on the fourth try, got the hook back in the curtain ring.
Got into the shower, settled into the chair as instructed, and pressed the start button…
I’d not turned on the power box!!! That being outside in the hallway, I went out to the hallway and pressed it. Nearly tripping over the slippers I left outside the wet room door to get into in the event that I would ever be able to get through this painful marathon ablution session alive, of course! But it wasn’t over yet…
Back into the shower, settled again in the chair, and pressed the button, and the water flowed.
The nurse told me on Friday that I can shower again, but need to make sure the plasters are kept dry. The actual showering went reasonably well once I started… apart from the customary cracking of my elbow on the grab rail. At least I didn’t head but the power box this time.
Spent a good while having a good scrub-up. I got out, and dried myself off without too much hassle… which now left me with the two most dangerous tasks; personal medicationalisationing areas to be treated, and getting dressed! Fear didn’t come into it… I tackled the jobs as any heroic, brave, disabled nerk would.

The earholes were olive-oiled
Drank milk for
Blepharitis gel was applied to the eyes.
Germolene & Germoloided.
Gelled.
Phorpain Gelled , and
Gengigelled
Both eyes.
Pain Relief Taken.
Peptac for &
Saline Nasal Spray was used.
Medicated plaster was put on the leg wound.

Getting the PPs on…

No injuries! Just painful!

I applied a 20/1 solution of Dettol to the legs.
Which looked better than yesterday.

Stung a bit, but nothing to hero like me.

I’d just got out of the wet room, as was arriving. He’s bought the laundry back up for me. I’m afraid it was more than damp – as I squeezed the dressing gown taking it out of the bag, water escaped and dripped on the already blood-wet carpet!
Medications given. No painkillers cause I’d already had the Codeine. No Peptac was needed cause I hadn’t eaten anything yet, and we had a little natter.

Then I got the cleaning up done from the ablution disasters – this is all a common happening for Inchy.

While events were still in the affected memory, I got writing this piece above.

I was still writing this, many hours later, when Benjamin returned on his last visit.
He helped me get the diabetic socks back on. Emptied the urine jug for me as well.

I was so tired out and still in a little discomfort after the farcical ablutions session.
So turned off the computer.

Took this photograph as I checked on the spuds cooking.
A kitchen view, straight ahead.

Then got the nosh prepared.
A none-meat, meat Soy pie.
Boiled & sliced potatoes,
And rock-hard baby beetroots.
Flavour Rating 6.2/10.

Washed the pots, and got down in the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. In search of some sleep about 03:00hrs. It took a while.

♥ Go Forth, & Find Fun & Festivities! ♥