Inchie: Saturday 25th April 2026

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WHAT AN ODD NIGHT
It started when I settled in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, rusty, flea-bitten catheter-tube-trapping recliner, to eat my creative evening meal. Whatever made me try this mixture, I’m not sure. I found a long-life ready meal fallen at the back of the cupboard. Sweet & Sour Vegetables. I tipped that into a microwave dish earlier in the day, and got some peas and a potato cooking in the slow cooker to add to it later. I got the idea to add some Bombay potatoes to it. Mixed it in and left it all to marinate for a few hours. It was delicious! 
Spilling it on my dressing gown was not in the plan! Got cleaned up; the swollen feet were giving me some grief. Got back to finish the feast, and took the tray & dishes to the kitchen to soak overnight. 
Turned the lights out when I put the TV on and started watching some recorded episodes of Heartbeat. Perfectly naturally for me, I fell asleep and realised the volume was a little high… Could I find the remote control? No! Well, it took me ages. Got up, searched for the torch, and hunted around. On the verge of deciding I’d have to turn the TV off at the power switch, I found it wrapped in the dressing gown I had to take off that I’d dirtied.
Turned down the sound and turned on a Boon recording. Perfectly naturally for me, I fell asleep.
Could I find the remote control to change the channel? This time, I was certain it had dissolved into the ether. I was on the arm of the £300 second-hand shop purchase in 1966, which was a well-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspiring, and crumb-containing recliner. Now the batteries had gone flat on the torch. I went into the kitchen to get the solar-powered battery, but that had gone AWOL. Back to the main room, for another search, no luck. Then I decided to get the pots washed. During which I knocked a bottle of washing-up liquid off the drainer, it was more lethal than ice skating! An hour later, I’d cleaned up the floor, in a fashion.
Put the light on in the front room for another hunt for the remote control. I found it! I’d put it on the Carers table, that’s within arm’s reach.
TV back on, to see a recorded Heartbeat episode.
Perfectly naturally for me, I fell asleep. Woke with the intentions of switching off the TV… a problem; I could not find the remote control! Never have yet. Turned the TV off at the plug. I realised what time it was in the morning, with all my faffling about. I did a safety check of the flat, taps, lights, stove, cookers, etc., and got my head down.

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Heavenly sleep, I can’t recall waking up at all. But, at 06:25hrs, I burst awake and instantly knew I had to hobble hastily to the Porcelain Throne. As you can see, a bad start to the day. Not the first time, nor, I expect, will it be the last occasion. Humph!

I had a stand-up wash and shave, and did the teggies, then checked on the wetroom cleaning had been done safely.
I got my fresh Kagoule and dressing gown on. Then I Hoovered the hallway. I could wear neither socks, shoes, nor slippers again. This is due to the swollen feet. This also prevented me from going with the Carer to do some shopping. I was looking forward to that, I really was. Tsk!

I got the computer on and found the missing shades and TV remote. Both partway under the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner. Got them out using the long picker-upperer. But, it set off Back-Pain-Brenda.

I was so pleased to see Carer Elaz arrive, an excellent Carer whom I trust, as with Mizra. 
Ejaz gave me the medications, reminded me to take the K & B Vitamins, and carried out a full body check on me. No one has done that since the last time Ejaz did, Monday, I think. It helped me, having just cleared and washed the infected areas. He checked meticulously and barrier-creamed Phorpain Gelled Back-Pain-Brenda, Swollen-Feet-Francis, Factured-Knee-Frank, Lymphorrhea-Leslies-Legs, Swollen-Toes-Titianna, Shoulder-Shaking-Shirley, and all those in need. Made me a mug of tea, and brought me a few bikkies to dunk. Thanks, Ejaz.

I took two photographs from the kitchenette window. The sunshine was getting hotter and brighter as I pictured these scenes.

I got on the computer, and CorelDraw caused some… er… unknown, unexplained faults for me. Had to save, close, and reopen it. Then it wouldn’t let me delete photographs. And Asif’s man has missed the last three times he said he’d call.
He must just be extremely busy, I suppose.

Ejaz returned for the longer shopping call. I felt horrible not being able to go with him and pick out what I fancy from the shops. Huh!
I blame the medical people. Not really! But they knew I had to drink tons, gallons of water to ease the pain from the Catheter flowback, for four days. Now I have water retention in both legs, feet, and all toes!
The agony was getting too much. Then, fortunately, the lesion in my penis started squirting out urine all over me, the carpet and even the computer!
I had to sit here as the urine suddenly flowed, the bag ever filling up, and the squirty leak from the finger lesion spraying everything, with a large mixing bowl between my legs to try to catch little Inchy’s contribution, for hours until a nurse arrived to save the day. Bless her Cotton-Socks. 💟 I know I may have said all this earlier, but what a thing to go through! Gawd knows how I got through it.
Self-Pity now… Sorry. I went off track there, sorry again, back to blessed Ejaz. Painkillers issued. And gave him the shopping list that I wanted him to get for me, handed him some money & off he shot.

Back on the computer and started the Ode of the day. This time, I think I must have hit the wrong keys. I got up a graph of choices to make, each with a warning that this or that will not work if you accept/take this action. Or, you will not be able to edit after taking this option… Not the foggiest idea what it all meant, but there was no close option on the window. Baffled again. I clicked close on the big window and gave it a minute or two, then opened it again. Phew! Back to normal. This prompted thoughts of the Oligarchs to go on the Ode.

Blimus, it’s getting hot here now. Back into the kitchen to take more sky shots.
When I’m sitting down, there is no pain from the swollen feet whatsoever. The moment I move to stand up, or hobble about, they work overtime on their pain onslaught. Hehe!

Ejaz returned with the shopping. The lad was wringing with sweat. 

He had taken the following snaps while out.
To show me what I’d missed. Haha!

Front of Woodthorpe Flats, end of the car park.
On is way out.
Not sure when; Windwood & Winchestrt Courts.
Centre Winwood Court.
Winchester Street Hill.
Up the hill.
Cutting through to the car park, Sherwood.
Mansfield Road
Mansfield Road the other way.
Forists near the Ozan store.
Outside Ozans.
Back at the flats.
Traffic island on Chestnut Way.
Where I am imprisoned,
Voodthorpe Court.
Towards the end of the car park.
The new footpath up the hill.
Wasn’t that kind of him, Ejaz?
Ejaz came up and gave me the nosh he’s bought for me. Three bottles of Soda water, Schweppes.
A classy, grand, costly brand, for me.
Lemon wafers, green tomatoes,
& gigantic potatoes. Hehe!

As Ejaz was ready to go, I felt a sharp pain in my right foot from water retention swelling.
Ejaz had a look and took a photo.
Doesn’t look good at all now.
Not been as painful as this
all day. Mmm?

I got the meal prepped and ready to serve with some beef later tonight.

Carer Ejaz did the late call. Phorpained the right Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, issued medications, and issued a mug of tea and bikkies for me. 👍🏻

A First-Time Long, Active Seizure.
I had a second seizure, that I know of; the first was a mini seizure, the second I believe was a very rare Long Active one. When I came out-of-it to the usual upflux of acid into the throat, mouth, and nose, I was in the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner. My last memory before coming out-of-it was of swearing at CorelDraw as it froze on me… Then, I find myself half-in, half-out of the recliner. I’d taken the bottle of springwater from under the computer with me, and after waiting for my senses to return and getting up on my feet, I spotted that I’d closed down the computer. Why? Had I solved the problem? Had I given up? It really was a blank. I tried to keep calm and even considered calling for help. But it was already too late, gone 22:00 hours. I’d lost two hrs, I reckon.  
Then my swollen feet felt the wet on the carpet!
I tried to recall things, water. But I got no help from Memory Mangling Malcolm in response. I felt that we were both puzzled, bemused. I didn’t panic, but a determination arose witin me to find out what I’d been doing. Apart from hobbling around and spilling water everywhere. 
I got to the computer chair, to find I’d not only torn the last page from the memory pad, but torn it into tiny pieces and thrown them into the waste bin! Next, I saw that the landline phone was out of its cradle, and the ear drops and diabetes pep drink had been knocked over on the desk. 
I then went into the kitchen and found the cold water tap running. Then the bladder backflow hit me from the Catheter tube. Arrgh! seems the most suitable word to use. I guzzled a litre of spring water and part of a litre of soda water straight away. Desperate to avoid the super-agony that I had gone through for the previous days.
Luckily, the pain eased within a minute of drinking the liquids, and the pouch filled rapidly.
Despite still having worries about what else I might have been doing during the seizure. I just had to get back on the computer and check if I’d done something silly, or even fatal, on the machine. Everything was working, but I had not closed down properly. Lost some work on WordPress, but could find nowt else terribly wrong. I closed the computer down, stripped and climbed carefully into bed.

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