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Today’s farcicalness, combined with my rare, so precious moments of ‘Sod-It-All’ moments…– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
oozed a warning to me. Not a precise indication of things to come, as they would have been from the voice in the head. Vague in details, other than I will not like of cope very well with problems, whatever they may be. But positive that things will take a turn for the worse in the morning, certain of the timing.
I think that my absolute, assured definiteness that they will arrive as the occupant of my cerebrum (Premorbid Cognitive Impairment Inchy), as revealed and kept reminding me throughout the day, grounded the possibility that whatever these events might actually be, they will happen. Thus encouraging short, frequent visitations from . Which were great, though it was confusing why I should appreciate the change in outlook and, somehow, guilt-making.
Which may have prompted me to do nothing else for the day, other than updating and renewing from scratch Word-Lists that this new computer keeps finding impossible to reach to use! Then, minutes later, it finds them, then, as another of the multiple Virgin Internet failures, they are unfindable again.
I realised after hours of catching up on them, I’d saved them to the same location, ARRGH!
At the very moment I recognised this and swore and cursed a few times, the virgin Internet connection failed for what must have been the 20th time… and I had to start all over again. By the time I’d got 20% of one ending completed, early evening, it had stopped visiting me altogether.
Adding the fact that the hot water tap had stopped heating around 17:00hrs, when it should have started to heat. I had to use the kettle and the slow cooker for hot water. again. I decided not to bother shaving, too risky for spilt or fropped hot water – But I found that the cooker had not been checked, and when I moved it to clean it, I burnt my finger ends. No problem, I had plenty of cold water to use, which prevented blisters from coming up.
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By then, I was not interested in making a meal, as I was more concerned about what   or I would be expected to face in the morning.
I’ll feel like a fool if nothing happens. Hehe!
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I mustered up a rather sad meal. Pickled vegetable salad from a jar, three bags of crisps, and a one-day-out-of-use-by-date chicken pieces. Threw them in a dish and added some Teriyaki sauce. Fell asleep, woke up with the television still on, and the dish on the floor with scattered bits on me, the chair and the carpet. When I got up to clear and clean things, the right leg gave way, and I tumbled back into the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. I gave up and stayed there.
Surrounded by vegetables and the smell of the pickle, squashing the spilt food from earlier on the cushions, arms, and picking bits off of the dressing gown.
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Zzzz!
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Ideas mused over, of what to tell the Doctor about.
Seek knowledge of the new bent-end Catheter. District Nurses can’t touch it. I was told to get a taxi to the A&E at the QMC. No other advice.
But how often are they to be changed? Been having flowback &/or blockage every two weeks of two months now. I dread it happening again, especially given that I need £30 each time to travel to the A&E and back. Incidentally, on this visit, the ring road was blocked and not moving; the Fare Clock kept ticking, though. So paid not £15 for this trip, but £25.40, leaving me short of cash to get a taxi back. Thankfully, a lift home was provided.
Treated badly at the A&E when the spraying shot out of the penis down legs and on clothes – had to ask for the WC to try and stop the flood and clean myself up. I was sent through the passageways back to the WC at the door that I’d come in from hours earlier. No toilet paper or towels available ans it was flooded. Luckily, I had taken a roll of kitchen towels with me in the walker trolley.
Got back to the unit eventually, feeling a bit better. But had missed my turn. So, another wet-wait. Finally, a Doctor called my name; it was getting late, and he looked very tired. He went to get the new Catheter tube in twice, and rang someone, whom he then took me to see as he was getting his coat on to go home. I don’t think he was too happy to see me.
He looked agog when he saw the state of the bloodied and unclean on the PPs and clothes. He hastened to insert the tube but failed. A low growl escaped him, and on his second try, he gave it some stick, which went in. He spoke coherently for the first time, telling me not to touch the holding patch on the containment array that was stuck on my thigh, very important, he said. No reason given why, but still.
I sat in the corridor, wondering how I was going to get home. Thankfully, a lady came and told me to stay where I was, and someone would collect me and drive me home. The highlight of the day.
Naturally, I was the last one to be dropped off.
Desperate for a wash and clean-up, I found that the hot water tap was running cold water!
At 03:00hrs, I got the computer on (on the fifth attempt), and the pain from the Catheter tube got seriously painful. The appointment with the Doctor took ages. Today, being 16th June, the earliest appointment I could get was for 10th July. Not sure I can last that long with how things are going, or rather, not going, and getting done; and new problems keep introducing themselves.
And, I’ve been told I have to supply a taxi both ways if I want a Carer to go with me. So, that’s £30 worth of taxi every two weeks, whatever it costs to do the shopping, and Escort Carers, whom the NHS insist I take with me. Especially since this seizure and my straying into Mansfield Road in front of a bus. Now the new coudé tipped Catheter fears. The financial, British Gas, Virgin Media signing in, and the Bank problems. On and on they arrive, unsolved.
I can’t carry on like this.
I shall beg to go into a home. Where positive, knowledgeable help might be available.
Cause it ain’t getting none here. Bar, the great advice, help and understanding from Jen. 💗
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Found it impossible to get back to sleep.
Feeling niggly, I got up, knee still dodgy, and painfully tried to clean up the mess.
Didn’t do a good job.
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TTFNski, Each!
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