Formulated by Inchcock, while he was medicationalising Little Inchies Fungal Lesion
Thought of the Day
Disclaimers:
No animal life was harmed in the production of these odes.
Allergies: They do contain a nut, & can cause laughter (Maybe)
These thoughts have been veganistically prepared.
The contents of this blog discourage suicidal tendencies.
Remainers & Leavers are encouraged to enjoy.
Coffee Storage Area Queen Street, Nottingham
Swann’s Yard, off Long Row,
Has it been cleaned, if so, long ago,
The rats were running, to and fro,
The smell meant I soon had to go!
Queen Street, near the L9 bus stop,
Rubbish, waste, decaying food,
Wrappers from Bird’s cake shop,
Not really art, dirty and so crude!
Use it as a ‘Don’t Litter sign’ backdrop?
Ah, low windows on which to rest your weary bum?
Street-sleepers can watch the diners eat and suck a thumb?
Artistically, it has little worth,
It’s not worth a lot, but down to earth,
The Tate might buy it, they show other scum!
The famous rock hardened Nottingham chewing gum on show,
The Council can’t get it off of the floor you know,
People are still dropping it, though!
It won’t come off, I’ve had a go!
Petrol, bleach, I even tried a Brillo,
Chewing gum and a proper fork too!
Likely stolen from a restaurant,
Perhaps the Foo Man Choo?
They’ll take anything they want,
These Nottingham Street Artists do!
This is a waste bin on the pavement edge,
Around on the floor, a pastie, nub-ends, and a potato wedge,
A bit of onion, and some phlegm and spit,
I don’t like this one a little bit,
I suppose it’s been done by kids at the college?
The entrance to a Long Row store,
The artwork here is pretty poor,
I see there is no chewing gum on the floor?
But below, you’ll see some more!
Roll-up nubs, chewing gum and escaping fluid,
Simple, neat, by a King Street Druid?
Or a drunken phone addicted kid?
Columbidae Columbiformes Columbimorphae Aves, made?
Pigeons, it’s not, though their phoo is the same shade!
Back to Queen Street, where there’s real Street Art again,
My enthusiasm is beginning to wain,
Cleaning this up is such a pain,
The culprits should be slain!
Mind you, Brexit is a bigger problem and stain!
Got off the bus with some help from a stranger, walked down to town,
Galloping Horses were swirling or spinning around,
But no one riding on them, I found,
Damned shakes, I dropped the flipping camera on the ground,
Retrieved it painfully, and took some more shots from around.
The overcharging food stalls, cooking their repast,
As Nottinghamian’s, just strolled past.
The Nottingham Slab Square, It’s always there, It looked a right mess, to be fair!
Off I plodded, to the Poundland Shop,
T’was only a short little hop,
In search of drain unblocker and other codswallop!
I entered the premises, soaking wet,
I bought too much stuff again, not to fret,
I still had a little money left yet,
I gave the helpful lady, a thank you, she is a pet,
And gave her a can of Gin & Tonic!
Paid-up, and out into the rain again,
Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna were giving me a little pain,
Determined, to resist depression,
Mind you, I had indigestion,
And a slightly confused brain!
On to South Parade,
Dizzy Dennis visited, unwanted,
So, progress was delayed,
He soon dissipated,
I was glad but amazed!
I took a photo, down Exchange Walk,
Not many folks having a talk on their phone?
People all around, yet I felt so alone,
Chewing gum littered where the folks walked.
I hobbled, struggling with the three-wheeled trolly-guide,
Through the Exchange arcade,
And out the other side,
For these stallholders, I’m afraid,
Not much money will be made!
King Street in the rain, showed another Council pain,
Yes, chewing gum on the pavement again!
I bet they don’t have this trouble in Bahrain,
I view ditching gum on the floor, with disdain!
I crossed to the other side of Long Row,
Got under alcove-cover to take these, don’t you know,
The only permanent retailer was busy serving, on the go,
The folks in the rain, well, it’s better than snow!
I was well wet, and a little cold,
Not good for me, now I’m getting old,
Good job I’d had my flu jab, the anticold,
Despite the rain, I had to be bold,
So I dashed, wobblingly, to the bus stop, wet and cold!
T’was bleak on Queen Street, waiting for the L9,
And the hands didn’t look very fine!
It didn’t look like it was mine,
But I mustn’t whine,
I mused of things like Mnemosyne,
Then took a moody picture, it came out fine!
The bus arrived, and it brought on a smile,
It’s coming eased my cold and chagrin,
I went to get on, missed the step by a mile,
A bloke picked me and the trolley up, and helped us in,
I was alright after a while,
But this trip out, left me needing Codeine and Amoxicillin!
Thrown together in a fit of frustration
at the election result!
I think that should be Milliganesqueness?
No animal (Apart from Inchcock of course) were harmed in this production
This blog is lactose-free & suitable for vegetarians and vegans
No artificial colouring or flavourings were used
Inchcock is a semi-free-range production
Organically reclaimed wording used
In bad, nae, terrible rhyme!
It’s the day of the criminal, there is no more law,
Empathy, understanding have become just folklore,
I don’t see Police officers in Nottingham, anymore,
Pavement Cyclists, beggars and shoplifters galore,
Street sleepers, who survive with skills of a detrivore,
Druggies, alcoholics, muggers, both old and mature,
While families dine, smoke cigars and drink their liquor,
All the time, making the poor, feel even sicker!
Disabled with Fit for Work Assessments, have to fight and bicker,
A blind chap got told he can work on a cherry-picker!
Jobseekers told to do psychometric tests, Glory Be!
But if you’re lucky, you’ll live to retire just like me,
But it isn’t what you thought, no rest and freedom, see,
Heart attack, Duodenal Ulcer, and I live on the twelfth-floor,
Peripheral Neuralgia, then a stroke and Arthritis, core!
What next I thought, and the lock broke on the door,
It was mended within three weeks, no need to be sore,
My hot water system went down, so I called help once more,
After nine days of being lied to, ‘We are coming today for sure,
Staying in and awake eight-until-ten, no chance of a bedsore!
But they mended it! It leaked, my clothes wet, the water did pour!
I slipped on the liquid, ending up injured on the floor,
Luckily, the stroke nurse called, so help came to the fore,
Depression and self-hating I began to explore,
I complained at the lack of help, this just caused a furore!
Now the haemorrhoids have returned, bloody and sore!
I fank You!