Inchcock’s thoughts on George Gideon Oliver Osborne

Ode01George Gideon Oliver Osborne born 23 May 1971. 

Sir Richard Osborne, founder of the Osborne dynasty, was an MP and a high-ranking official in Ireland, and was made a hereditary baronet by King Charles I in 1629, in recognition of his public service. The seventh baronet, Sir John Osborne, great-great-great-great-great-grandfather of today’s Chancellor, was also an MP. So was Sir William, the eighth baronet, and Sir Henry, the 11th baronet. But the real glamour in Osborne’s ancestry is on his mother’s side. His maternal grandmother was the Hungarian-born painter Clarisse Loxton Peacock, who married an Englishman, Grantley Loxton Peacock. There is politics also in his wife Frances’s family. She is the daughter of David Howell, now Lord Howell of Guildford, a minister of Margaret Thatcher’s original Cabinet in 1979.

He was educated at St Paul’s School, London, and at Magdalen College , Oxford , where he read modern history. At Oxford he was a demy (scholar) and joint editor of the University magazine Isis . After a short spell as a freelance journalist, George joined the Conservative Research Department in 1994 and became Head of the Political Section. From 1995-7 he was the Special Adviser at the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food and worked in the Political Office at 10 Downing Street. From 1997-2001 George was Political Secretary to the Leader of the Opposition and Secretary to the Shadow Cabinet.

He has never held a proper job in his life.

Osborne married The Hon Frances Victoria Howell (b. 18 February 1969), author and elder daughter of the Conservative politician and Government Minister Lord Howell of Guildford, on 4 April 1998. The couple have two children, Luke Benedict, born at Westminster on 15 June 2001, and Liberty Kate, born at Westminster, London, on 27 June 2003. He has an estimated personal fortune of around £4 million, as the beneficiary of a trust fund that owns a 15 per cent stake in Osborne & Little, the wallpaper-and-fabrics company co-founded by his father, Sir Peter Osborne.

Ode02Chancellor makes £450,000 profit selling his taxpayer-funded second home

Included the mortgage for a paddock on his taxpayer-funded expenses, Land Registry documents disclose.

The chancellor and his wife Frances bought a Cheshire farmhouse and the neighbouring land in his constituency for £455,000 in 2000, before he became an MP.

Between 2003 and 2009, he claimed up to £100,000 in expenses to cover mortgage interest payments on both the land and the property at Harrop Fold farm near Macclesfield.

The chancellor’s farmhouse featured in the MPs’ expenses scandal of 2009. It emerged that he had “flipped” his second home allowance on to the property and increased the mortgage. Throughout the lengthy parliamentary inquiry into Osborne’s expense claims that followed, there was no mention of the separate land.

But it has emerged that the expenses payments were not only for a house but also for the neighbouring paddock, which is registered separately with the Land Registry.

HMRC boss admits to more data losses Author: Andrew Porter

Summary: HMRC has admitted there have been seven other significant data losses in recent years. … Last night shadow Chancellor George Osborne said: “These admissions blow a hole in Alistair Darling’s defence. As the acting head of HMRC admits, far from being a mistake by a single junior official, the data security breaches at HMRC are the result of serious systemic failures.” “The public will now expect the Chancellor to come clean and explain exactly when and how these previous losses of personal information took place. Alistair Darling’s credibility is hanging by a thread. He is running out of time to reassure the British public that he’s capable of getting a grip.”

Osb01

Chancellor George Osborne blew nearly £1,000 of taxpayers’ cash on a trip to Germany that let him watch his team win the ­Champions League.

The multi-millionaire Chelsea fan held brief talks on the eurozone crisis with his German counterpart Wolfgang Schaeuble, which meant the jaunt was classed as an official visit.

But he later grinned and clapped wildly as Chelsea won 4-3 against Bayern Munich after a penalty shoot-out.

According to figures slipped out on the Treasury website, the trip cost taxpayers £949.

But the total bill will have been higher because officials travelled with him to attend the formal talks.

The revelation comes just weeks after the wallpaper heir, who has a £4million trust fund, claimed “we are all in this together” as the Tory axeman hammered millions of hard-up families in his recent mini-budget.Chancellor George Osborne blew nearly £1,000 of taxpayers’ cash on a trip to Germany that let him watch his team win the ­Champions League.

The multi-millionaire Chelsea fan held brief talks on the eurozone crisis with his German counterpart Wolfgang Schaeuble, which meant the jaunt was classed as an official visit.

Osb03But he later grinned and clapped wildly as Chelsea won 4-3 against Bayern Munich after a penalty shoot-out.

According to figures slipped out on the Treasury website, the trip cost taxpayers £949.

But the total bill will have been higher because officials travelled with him to attend the formal talks.

George Osborne accused of breaking his promise not to fiddle figures

George Osborne has been accused of wasting public money by “massaging” spending plans to avoid the embarrassment of a rising deficit.

The Institute for Fiscal Studies, an independent think tank, suggested that the Chancellor had engaged in the same sort of economic manipulation he criticised Gordon Brown for.

Budget figures showed the Government borrowed £121 billion last year. This year borrowing will be £120.9 billion.

Ministers have admitted that the tiny fall was only possible because of emergency cuts in departmental budgets this year, and delaying payments to bodies like the European Union and World Bank.

The Treasury has described that process as sensible use of public money, saying it would prevent wasteful spending at the end of the financial year.

Osb04Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander claims Mr Osborne has a family-sized fridge at work full of snacks, treats and milk – but doesn’t share

But he said the multi-millionaire Tory refuses to share the contents with loyal staff.

George Osborne attends as the Dallas Cowboys play the Jacksonville Jaguars in an NFL match at Wembley Stadium Snack Time: George Osborne reportedly padlocked the treasury fridge so he didn’t have to share  However, tonight Mr Osborne’s aides hit back – saying the fridge is communal and his comments show how rarely Mr Alexander makes a tea round.

Speaking to Westminster journalists about working with Mr Osborne, Lib Dem axe-man Mr Alexander said first: “We do share things – but not the milk.

“To my amusement, he still keeps it under lock and key. His fridge in the Treasury kitchen is replete with a padlock.”

George Osborne was embarrassed by a SEVEN-YEAR-OLD today when he failed to answer a basic maths question.

pcs-Raddings-chanc-23q.jpgThe Chancellor was being interviewed by a panel of children on Sky News about the economy.

But he was left flummoxed when seven-year-old Sam Raddings asked him what seven times eight is.

Flustered, Mr Osborne eventually replied: “I’ve made it a rule in life not to answer a whole load of maths questions.”

Many were quick to ridicule the Chancellor for dodging the question.

“It’s a little worrying that the Chancellor George Osborne doesn’t seem to know simple maths,” wrote one.

It isn’t the first time Osborne has been lampooned on social media recently.

He also found himself at the figure of fun after trying to take credit for the next Star Wars movie being filmed in UK.

Earlier, Mr Osborne admitted he wishes he had done more to help Britain’s economy when the coalition first came to power.

Osb05George Osborne parks in disabled bay: Tory Chancellor causes outrage by ignoring restrictions

He’s snatched millions of pounds in benefits from those in most need – and it seems that George Osborne could not care less about anyone else.

Tonight he was branded selfish and arrogant after allowing his chauffeur to park his £50,000 Land Rover in a space reserved for the disabled.

There were plenty of other places available just a few yards away as the Tory Chancellor was dropped off for a burger at an M4 service station.

But Mr Osborne was obviously far too important to waste valuable seconds – and the bright-yellow markings on the restricted bay were brazenly ignored.

Richard Hawkes, chief executive of the disability charity Scope claimed the incident “shows how wildly out of touch the Chancellor is with disabled people in the UK”.

He said: “They will see this as rubbing salt in their wounds.

“Many are already struggling to make ends meet, yet the Chancellor’s response has been to cut vital financial support and squeeze local care budgets.”

Ten things you might not know about Osborne

There are a few things you may not know about the man with his hands on the nation’s purse-strings.

  1. He was originally called “Gideon Oliver Osborne” (nicknamed “Giddy” by schoolmates), before changing his first name to George by deed poll at the age of 13.
  2. While working for John Major, Osborne was “perky” in his delight about Tony Blair’s election as Prime Minister – dubbing him “The Master”. Meanwhile, when Iain Duncan Smith was leader of the Tory party, Osborne used to refer to Blair as “our real leader”.
  3. Before the 2010 election, Osborne used to be “dismissive” of LibDem leader Nick Clegg – partly as Clegg refused a dinner invitation from him and David Cameron. He also thought Clegg was “politically clueless”, but would later “have to revise this view during the general election campaign”.
  4. He loathed Gordon Brown. In his office, he would refer to Brown as a “bast**d” and delighted in impersonating him as a lurching monster. Brown’s impact on Osborne left him behaving like an “abused puppy” according to an adviser, who was “mentally trapped” by a man he professed to hate.
  5. Osborne was “far from distraught” when David Willetts, as Tory education spokesman, was embroiled in a controversial debate over grammar schools. After Willetts’ demotion, Osborne was said to have laughed that “he’ll never have my job then!”
  6. Despite ruling it out at Tory conference last week, Osborne agreed with Nick Clegg last year to bring in a mansion tax in exchange for slashing the 50p tax rate for top earners. However, it was vetoed by David Cameron.
  7. Osborne “fell into” the Conservative Party, with his biographer remarking that “had he been born a decade later and grown up in the mid-1990s, he might be a Blairite Labour MP striving to catch Ed Miliband’s eye for a frontbench promotion”.
  8. He was a “fervent fan” of Madonna.
  9. George Osborne once challenged a fellow student at Oxford to a wasabi eating contest and won, but he was left “doubled over in agony”.
  10. That our chancellor played a naughty “pass the ice cube” game with Spice Girl Geri Halliwell in 2009 while at a wedding.

It’d seem there is more to Giddy than meets the eye…

Osb06a“Pasty tax” was a popular phrase used by the British press to describe a proposal made by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Conservative MP George Osborne, in the 2012 United Kingdom budget to simplify the tax treatment of “hot takeaway food” so that Value Added Tax (VAT) would be charged at 20% in all cases. The change would have increased the sale price of hot snacks such as sausage rolls and Cornish pasties sold on the premises where they were baked.

The issue became a political controversy, described by at least one newspaper as a political scandal, dubbed Pastygate in March 2012.

The outcome: After the public opposition, Osborne significantly altered the plans in late May, which was characterised as a “U-turn”.

Personally I love this entry on: Uncyclopedia 

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Gideon “Slash’n’Burn” Osborne (born 23 May 1971), better known as Boy George, Bum Nose or Georgie Porgie, is a British aristocrat, Conservative Party politician, ponce, forthcoming baronet, prospective inheritor a vast fortune and, as of May 2010, Chief Lord Chancer of the Exchequer. He is all of these things and more; but more than anything, however, he is a Monumentally Colossal Twat. Indeed, being a twat has proved his lifelong vocation – an occupation which he self-avowedly places above all others in terms of the time, care and devotion he applies to it. He has spoke of his vast fortune in being able to combine his occupation as full-time twat with that of Chancellor to an incredible degree.

On a personal level, Osborne is a self-obsessed, smarmy, stuck-up, arse-faced country gentleman whose sickening, unappealing demeanour encapsulated in his voice, appearance, personality – and indeed his entire life story – is completely uninspiring to the vast majority in British society. Call him ignorant if you want, but he won’t be listening; call him an arse if you like, but for him the arse is just that bit at the bottom of your body that you spend most of your life sitting on, and which other people wipe for you. Dark clouds gather around his person, causing dismay to all who surround him – until he pays them to go and hover over a poorer person.

It has been noted by many that his nose bears an uncanny resemblance to a posterior, which is interesting because he is also noted for talking out of his arse and he does have something of a nasal twang, sometimes referred to as a posh speech impediment.

Osborne at Eton and Oxford

Osb06bThe boy, George, was sent away to Eton College when he was small. When he was bigger he left. Well actually, he didn’t go to Eton at all, but everyone thinks he did because it’s just such a bloody juicy story. He rose to the top of the all-male, white, upper class culture of this grand public school until a pauper actually had to build an extension so he could rise even higher. Osborne imposed his dominant personality on the school. He did gain a respectable 9 A*-C GCSE grades, but he only managed an F in Economics – a fact which the country now feels the bane of.

His school report noted that he did not pass with many flying colours, but rather, only one flying colour – and needless to say, it was white and always flew first class. Nevertheless, his father secured an excellent place at Oxford for his dear boy, mostly through intense fellatio, in a course other than economics. Before sending him to his top university, his father had told George to get high grades, though he also warned him not to trip over the balls at the Croquet game. Certainly some words in that sentence proved more influential than the general premise of the sentence itself.

George’s first course choice upon arrival at Oxford, was the legendary Politics, Philosophy & Economics (more commonly known as PPE). PPE, is a course designed to allow anybody and his dog to gain a first (similarly President of the Oxford Union) and present themselves as clever bugger, when fact getting a first in PPE is akin to getting clap. However George mistook the common element of PPE, as meaning or referring to common people. Exclaiming that he don’t do common and signed up instead to do modern history. George struggled at his chosen degree, until he realised that essays could be purchased from the web, thus blowing his entire trust fund in one term, as he struggled to understand that Modern, as in modern history did not refer to the Victorian period.

At Oxford University he was a member of the Bullingdon Club with ‘Call Me Dave’ Cameron and Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, where they engaged in drunken debauchery, criminal vandalism, up-it-to-the-oiks-snobbery, capers and sodomy (Osborne being the ‘bottom’). These initial rumours were confirmed the week before the 2010 UK general election when footage of Osborne exhibiting considerable gastrointestinal capacity surfaced online. The two-hour-long viral video, entitled ‘Of Os-Borne’, which circulated through sneezing and nurses not washing their hands, was credited with swinging the polls 946mV in the Conservative party’s favour. It is perhaps testament to the sheer failure and ineptitude of the shitty conservative campaign that even despite all this, they failed to win the bloody election…

Inchcock: there is much much more at this link, satire par de excellence!

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/George_Osborne

Osb08Osborne gave me my biggest none-satirical political laugh in years!

The Olympic Stadium has been filled with the cheers and applause of 80,000 people.

But for a few moments last night boos rang out from the arena in East London.

The boos were for government minister George Osborne, who was there to present a gold medal to Tunisia’s T38 400m champion Mohamed Farhat Chida.

He seemed to handle the occasion OK though, laughing when his face was shown on the big screen.

The prime minister, David Cameron, was made to feel more welcome when presenting swimming star Ellie Simmonds with her second swimming gold medal of the Games.

While there was some booing, the cheers from the crowd were reported to have drowned them out.