Good morning Mr Inchcock, take a seat…

GCInt

Inchcock went to an arranged meeting with someone from the Nottingham Homes Counter in the Central Library building to inquire if he actually had any chance of being housed in a what they call ‘Independent Living’ – which used to be called Warden Aided Flats within the surrounding area of Carrington.

It went something like this:

Homelink lady: “Good morning Mr Inchcock, please take a seat.”

Inchcock: “Thank you.”

Homelink lady: “Now what is your problem?”

Inchcock: “You assume I have a problem very readily – why can’t I be just making inquiries?”

Homelink lady: “You can be making inquiries…”

Inchcock: “Can I appeal against your placing me in the waiting band category D housing applicants? The lowest one which your staff informs me no one on this list has ever been housed?” 

Homelink lady: Muses over Inchcocks paperwork…”They are right, but they shouldn’t have told you that – do you know the name of the assistant who told you this?”

Inchcock: “No! – Did you not receive the letters in support of my application from my doctor, the hospital and the local police?”

Homelink lady“Oh yes, but they are worth nothing as long as you own your own home – we must look after those with children and families…”

Inchcock: “So I’m being victimised for living on my own then, let’s sue the wife for dying eh ?”

Homelink lady: “Let me finish please… where was I? They are worth nothing as long as you own your own home – we must look after those with children and families… the homeless, poor asylum seeking immigrants and the mentally challenged.”

Inchcock: “Oh, so if I had several kids with various partners, was an immigrant or had a mental illness this would qualify me then? Being harassed mugged and attacked by the local yobbery, having a dodgy ticker arthritis angina duodenal ulcer, hernia and early onset of memory losses being unable to clean the house and not knowing any councillors personally goes against me then?

Homelink lady: “I didn’t say that!”

Inchcock: “I know you didn’t – I just said that!”

Homelink lady“Said what?”

Inchcock: “So if I had several kids with various partners, was an immigrant or had a mental illness this would qualify me then? Being harassed mugged and attacked by the local yobbery, having a dodgy ticker arthritis angina duodenal ulcer, hernia and early onset of memory losses being unable to clean the house and not knowing any councillors personally goes against me then?

Homelink lady“It’s a simple fact that you cannot be considered for… hang on! Not knowing any Councillors personally you said goes against you?”

Inchcock: “I did!”

Homelink lady: “Why?”

Inchcock: “It’s true innit?”

Homelink lady: “Are you suggesting that we here at Nottingham City Homes are being intimidated, bribed or are in an allegiance of some sort with Nottingham City Councillors Mr Inchcock?”

Inchcock: “Glad you admit it gal…”

Homelink lady“I admit nothing… there is nothing to admit to, I think you must be mad to make such allegations – this interview is being recorded you know…”

Inchcock: “Mad? Me? Do you really think so midduck?”

Homelink lady: “I am not your duck! And yes I do think you must be crazy to come here throwing such intimations around – this interview is terminated Mr Inchcock!”

Inchcock: “Thank you petal – before I go will you sign this statement I prepared earlier to the fact that you consider me to be mentally ill? – Then you can move me up to band C and I just might get #’@~$ing 10% chance of being rehoused…Hehehe!

She carried a good left hook…

This bit of nonsense was inspired by a dream that Inchcock had.

Inchcock Today 31/3/15: Feeling a tad perantique today

Tuesday 31th March 2015

Woke up and failed to remember me dreams… remembered BJ was coming though, so got up (forced missen like) and got the laundry stuff ready, nibbles for the gals.

Surprising myself I also remembered I had to go to the GP to make an appointment – And – to go to the chemist to see when me medications needed collecting.

Made a note of these and put it in me pocket.

0201skyIt was very windy, the rain was falling, the morning dank – I passed wind that stan… never mind…

BJ arrived and lifted me to the launderette bless him. He seemed okay this morning glad to say.

Mandie was on duty at the launderette, always does me good to see her – mind you I don’t think it does a lot for her seeing me, but hey-ho!

Got the machine going and thought I’d nip to the chemist then to the GP to book me appointment then to the newspaper shop to see if I’d won the lottery… Note: Extreme Optimism Mode Adopted & Engaged here!

0203chemistSo off to the Chemist who informed me the next carrier bags full of medications is due in a two weeks time – Tuesday after next.

So off up the hill to the GP surgery to book an appointment as the rain joined the wind in making it an unpleasant day all in all.

0202rainI approached the surgery entrance way and realised as it was closed and locked as soon as I read the opening times on the door like (I’m quick yer know!) that it didn’t open until 0840hrs.

As I left the rain persisted down with a vengeance and I rushed (Well I say rushed… hobbled a bit more rapidly would be a better description) to the bus-shelter and stayed beneath the awnings until the rain abated.

0830hrs came, then went in and booked me appointment – that being next Tuesday at 1330hrs with the locum.

Out again, the rain had eased but not the wind and then to the newspaper shop. No winning on the lottery, Ah-well!

0204AsdaAll done, BJ ran us to Asda, where I got some bits including a large tray of small seasoned potatoes to try for nosh tonight.

The giant Gnomes were still on sale at Asda’s entrance.

We soon got finished and BJ offered to run me to the disability shop in Sherwood as I’m mentioned I was looking for a cushion that would protect me coccyx and help me ease the pain of me piles – polo mint shaped like.

Bit of a surprise finding they had a choice of them in stock – a bigger one when I saw the prices £20 – £23 and £30 each.

I took the £20 one cause it was the best looking and most suitable design for me personally like… FibMode

0206cushThe Pressure Relief Cushion that cost me more than the first bed and clothing I ever bought!

Fair enough that was a few years ago, I use the word ‘few’ in it’s loosest sense of course.

 BJ ran me back to the hoppit and dropped me off.

0207noshWC’d then started to cook the gorgeous looking potatoes to have with some beetroot and franks, along with the cheese & onion cobs that I’d treated myself to from Asda.

They were horrendous, appalling, rancid, and fowl!

They may have looked nice but once 0205Asdacooked… eurgh! Spit!

Even the cheddar with cheese cobs were pretty uneatable – bland, no taste insipid!

The beetroot was nice…

I’ll have a bag of Marmite crisps later to get the none-taste of these out of me mouth! Hehehe!

Did this diary after forcing myself to nearly eat the meal, then some Facebooking.

Took me medications with some water – and they had more taste than the crap potatoes and cobs.

Feeling well tired and depressed again now and had a bit of a dizzy but nowt bad… hello, the eyelids are getting heavy again… Sweet dreams!