Medical Terminology Explained:
Anally: Occurring yearly
Antepartum : When your father’s sister goes home
Anti-Body: Against everyone
Artery: Study of paintings.
Aspirin: Snake up your leg.
Atonic: Goes with your gin
Bacteria: Back door of the cafeteria.
Bandages: – The Rolling Stones.
Barium: What doctors do when treatment fails.
Benign: What you are after you are eight.
Bowel: Letter like A.E.I.O.U.
Caesarean section: District in Rome.
Carpal: Someone with whom you drive to work.
Cat Scan: Searching for kitty.
Cauterise: Made eye contact with her.
Chiropractor: An Egyptian doctor.
Codeine: Number you use at ATM.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Domperidone: Toilet session finished.
Cardiology: Advanced study of poker playing.
Castrate: Market price for setting a fracture.
Coronary: Domesticated yellow bird.
Cortisone: The local courthouse.
Cystogram: A cable sent to your sister.
Diarrhoea: Journal of daily events.
Dilate: To live long.
Ear: Where you are now.
Elixir: What a dog gives to his owner when she gives him a bone.
Enema: Not a friend.
Fibrillate: To tell a small lie.
Fibula: A small lie.
Gallstones: What the Gauls threw at the Romans.
Humerus: Funny, tell us what we want to hear.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
Inbred: The best way to eat peanut butter.
Inguinal: A new type of Italian noodle.
Intense Pain: Torture in a tepee.
Kidney: Part of a child’s leg.
Labour pain: Conservative victory.
Medical staff: A doctor’s cane.
Migraine: What a Russian farmer now says about his harvest.
Minor operation: Coal mining.
Morbid: A higher offer.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: Was aware of.
Organic: Church musician.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Paralyse: Two far-fetched stories.
Pathological: A reasonable way to go.
Pelvis: Cousin of Elvis.
Penis: Someone who plays the piano.
Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture.
Postoperative: A letter carrier.
Protein: In favour of young people.
Quackery: Politicians core training module.
Recovery room: A place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Dang near killed ‘em.
Saline: Where you go on your boyfriend’s boat
Scab: Blackleg in Union strike.
Scar: Rolled tobacco leaf.
Secretion: Hiding anything.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Serology: A study of English knighthood.
Serum: What you do when you barbecue steaks.
Sterile solution: Not using the elevator during a fire.
Surgery: A reason to get an uninterruptible power supply.
Sperm: To reject.
Tablet: Small table.
Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tibia: Country in North Africa.
Tumour: An extra pair.
Urine: Opposite of you’re out.
Vitamin: What you do when friends stop by for a visit.
Warfarin: Rat killer.
Wart: Mr Disney.
X-Ray: Man, who changed his name.
Yersinia: Have you seen her?
Zinc: Where you wash the pots.