Inchcock Today – Friday 25th May 2018: The Terrorising Trotskies Return. Whoopsiedangleplops Galore! Not well at all, poor old ‘Lucky’ Inchcock!

Friday 25th May 2018

French: Vendredi 25 Mai 2018

0400hrs: I stirred into imitation life and awaited the body and mind to loosely link-up together. Things felt a little odd, apart from the little bit of rumbling from the innards, all the other ailments were in an excellent calm mood with me. This can’t last!

I rose out of the £300 second-hand recliner and went to get the Health Checks done.


5Fri001bThe results looked fine to me. With these reasonable readings and the lack of ailments hassling me, I was more worried than ever now. Tsk!

Had a wee-wee.

Made a brew and took this photograph that came out rather poorly, considering I was using the new Lumix camera?

WDP01 Then the view screen disappeared! I’ll have to try to get to town and the Jessop camera store to find out if I’d pressed something wrong or if the camera has gone kaputt.

Popped into the wet room to use the Porcelain Throne. A loose little evacuation, mostly wind.

WDP01 Onto the Computer.  For some unknown reason, using WordPress on Firefox was impossible. So, I tried it on Google and had to sign-in and change username to get the job done? After a while, I attempted to use Firefox again, mostly blank screens? Back to Google Chrome. It was a struggle to get yesterday’s diary updated, as the pictures would not load into WordPress, so I had to keep going back on Firefox to download them, then again to Google to do the written work. Well, pee’d off now!

WDP01 I remembered the MS Windows update that came in yesterday – could it be this that is cocking me up? Had to keep swapping for ages each time I needed to do a different sort of editing?

5Fri002I went to the kitchen for a mental-break and too calm down, I was well uptight.

The weather looked bleak, misty and a little showery.

I took this photograph with the Lumix, and it seemed to be working okay for this poor effort of mine, at a decent picture.

The drilling outside started again around 0840hrs, but it was short-lived and sounded farther away than yesterday.

WDP01 There was I, just pouring the milk into the mug of tea and; What a vexation-ridden embarrassment, frustration and irking distressing thing to happen to me. Feh! The rear-end works decided to operate the evacuation functions of their own accord, and at rapid speed! I did my best to get to the Porcelain Throne on time, but couldn’t make it. I was in a proper shameful, humiliating, and uncomfortable state of agitation over this pickle I found myself in.

I recognised that avoiding this disaster was not my own fault and gornisht helfn. But shame and self-loathing came to the fore.

5Fri005aI had to have a proper clean up afterwards, of me and the wet room. I could, despite there being no one else about, feel my embarrassment coming out and a red face glowing.

After freshening up, I returned to the kitchen to make another small mug of tea. I took a diarrhorea capsule and left the others on the counter to get to later. In case the next 5Fri005Porcelain Throne visit was an urgent one too.

The temperature in the kitchen was a high 69°f. Still looking a little gloomy out there.

My spirits were lower than ever now. Especially when I realised that going out today, to the camera shop or getting some bread and milk in stock, was out of the question. Far too risky, I do not want to risk getting ‘Caught Short’ again by another Diarrhoea David attack.


I thought about just leaving doing this post altogether, such was my melancholia. But my being a graphomaniac, I didn’t.

5Fri006After a while, with no signs of any Diarrhoea David returning, I went into the kitchen to make another brew.

I decided to refill the vinegar bottle. I rinsed it out and went to the window ledge and thought I’d tore off a piece of paper towel to fry the bottle with.

WDP01 But I’d got it wrong and 5Fri007traipst the roll all over the floor. I might have a reasonable bruise coming up on my head where I hit it on my way down to pick up the paper towel!

Back onto the computer, all confused and struggling to gain full control of my faculties, I thought.

WDP01 Another One! Could I find the 32mb SDH card? No! I spent ages searching and exploring every cupboards, carpet, drawer repeatedly! I knew I had it when I used the new Nikon Camera? Eventually, I gave up the hunt, hoping I will ‘come across’ it at a later time or date. What a Nudzh!

I reflected on the Whoopsiedangleplops affecting me so far today:

  1. The new Lumix camera viewer-screen, dying on me.
  2. WordPress, Grammarly, Google Chrome, Firefox and computer problems, apparently having been caused by the MS Windows update?
  3. Diarrhorea David’s Blitzkrieg Attack and the resultant shame and uncertainties.
  4. Liberty-Virgin internet repeatedly losing connections failures.
  5. The paper-towel incident and injuries.
  6. Losing the SDH card? – Then my finding it in the first place that I’d looked for it?

The way this morning has gone, I sort of expected this Whoopsiedangleplop list to have been longer.

No bread, no milk, no hope! Hehehe!

Conceivably, the diarrhorea might ease-off, and the weather is alright in the morning so I can have a walk into Sherwood to get the bread and milk, in.

I’m still puzzled as to why another follow-up attack from the rear-end has not come… Yet awhile anyway! But, I can feel that the churning is still fermenting in the guts.

WDP01 Then, much further chagrin and the lowering of my esteem and worth, I found the missing 32mg card! Worst of all, it was in the first place I had looked for it after thinking it had disappeared! I was keeping the curtains closed in case the Willmott Dixon team might appear at the windows, while I might be suffering the runs etc. And this lack of lighting and my colour blindness on reds, made me think it was another card in the reader. I’m running out of original names to call myself now! Yutz!

WDP01 Great balls of fire, no sooner had I written the paragraph above, Diarrhorea David’s second Blitzkrieg arrived! Far less hassle this time. I made it to the Porcelain Throne in time. Albeit only just! Still runny and messy though. Humph!

The workmen didn’t do their drilling for long this morning. Noisy Herbert above compensated for this, with regular banging about. Then just before noon, what sounded like a door being closed-shut with venom and strength from above. No more sonances then. I’m not complaining. Oh No! Not after being told he is doing nothing wrong in following his hobby and being noisy as long as it is between 0800hrs and 2000hrs, by the Cat-Walk model and Nottingham City Homes Gruppenfurheress Manager. It might yet prove fatal though. One can only take so much while being ignored. I wonder if he is rich, well endowed or has he any influential friends? Hehehe!

I considered going to the shops again, but would I be lucky enough? No, best leave it until tomorrow and see how things are then.

Health Checks were done.

I was unsure of what to have for the nosh, bearing in mind the Diarrhorea Davids attentions, and not wanting to encourage or inspire them.

Got sidetracked, off for another visit to the Porcelain Throne. Again it was close getting there in time, but I managed it.

5Fri008Today, I had got very little done that I had planned. A mishegoss and frustration filled day.

Turned on the TV to watch some episodes of Rumpole of the Baily.

I settled my body down in the £300 second-hand recliner and tucked into the plate of fodder.

I thought that fish might be the safest food, so made a meal of fish fingers in batter, the cod portion I had to throw away, it tasted dodgy to me, so I did not risk eating it.  The Scottish Smoked Mackerel tasted good.

I couldn’t eat all of it.

I feared the Trotskies would return in the night.

But they didn’t. Well, not until the early morning.

I haven’t felt so dismal or such a no-hoper in my life.