Inchcock Today: Tuesday 15th February 2022: Farcicalisationing again!

Vascular-Dementia-Doreen Strikes Again!

Tuesday 15th February 2022

Another slightly better night, at least once I got off to sleep. Over the past couple of weeks now, I’d been jumping awake, nervously, anything from 5-minutes to half an hour after nodding off, but I’ve always been able, once I’ve fought off the Thought-Storms, that is; to get back into the land of nod swiftly again. Last night it was getting to sleep in the first place that was the problem. I even turned on the TV cause that usually helps me fall out of consciousness. But not last night, it was ‘orrible! Once did, the waking ups started, of course, but no more often than average. Hey-Ho! I’m losing faith in the Hemp capsules already.

So, it was later than usual when I did stir back into imitation life. Not that I noticed at the time, cause the need to utilise the Porcelain Throne was soon on me. Off to the wet room, and Gawd Blimey! Another wet but willing evacuation! I got things cleaned up… and the wet room was washed and changed into day clobber, teeth, eye drops, ear drops, Germolened Little Inchies final lesion, and Germoloided Harolds Haemorrhoids. It’s a job every morning and night this is! 

Made a brew of the J Sainsbury’s Extra Strong tea; this is not bad at all, but not up to the standards of Thompsons Punjana or Glengettie. Got on the computer to start updating yesterdays blog!

A flipping hard slog with the Shaking Shaun interference… I like that word, but why?

The intercom sounded and lit up. Hello, Sainsbury are good and early this morning! 

I gave the deliveryman two boxes and a carrier bag. He filled with the delivered items for me, and he put them through the door in the hallway for me. I slipped him a choice of drinkies in thanks, and off he trudged.

I’d not seemed to get much this time? Before sorting them out, I had a look on the web to see the order. A good few items are unavailable, and I’d ticked the no substitutes on them. Very risky letting Sainsbury’s make substitutes, I can tell yer! Still, some of luxury, spoil-the-old man foods had arrived, Hehehe!

How the fresh cream French Horns got requested is beyond my imagination… me? Buying fresh cream French Horns? Ahem! With whole cream milk? Lemon cream desserts, too? I also tried some JS own label Extra Strong Teabags. (Not bad at all!) The cheesy twist pastries looked good. I’ll have them later on tonight. Worra feast in store!

A few minutes after getting fodder stored away, ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chirped up from the doorbell, and in walked Carer Cassie. She’s brought with her the monthly prescriptions. While she was putting them away, I nattered away.

During which something came up in the one-way conversation. And as we went into the main room, I said I’d make a note to remind myself to phone the Doctor…

It then dawned on me… I could not find the Nokia! I always leave it to the computer’s right, as a rule. Where the charging cable can reach the phone from the socket?

Later, I felt an Ode coming on…

That if I could not find it this morning!
When Carer Cassandra came calling…
She set off, with me, both searching…
My hopes were not worth a farthing,
Of me discovering, finding…
My beloved mobile, a precious thing…
It was most irritating and frustrating…
Irking and embarrassing!
Cassie looked in every nook was persisting…
Every room searched, drawer-jostling…
Finding it? My hopes were now fading…
Vascular Dementia Doreen, it was very degrading,
We investigated under the chairs, it was so rilling,
Cassie carried on, with no getting ruffling…
Where can it be? Then I needed a wee-weeing…
Off to the wet room, not easy peeing and thinking…
Wondering where I’d put the danged thing!

I got back to the main room – & Cassie was smiling! ♥
With eyes that were brighter and twinkling…
She pointed out where she found the phone hiding…
Yes, Cassie found it, I gave her a kiss, but I was infringing,
But she gave me no whinging; I started singing!

We both began grinning and laughing!
I was so happy, I could have wet my underclothing!
It’s lovely to find a little joy in something…
Although later, I was scathing, scything, and seething…
At getting in such a mess… things I’m constantly losing,
I’m an expert on having things go vanishing!

With my telling her of my funny turn yesterday, I was unsure if cleaner Esther had called on me or not. Cassie pointed out that she could have moved the mobile; because the computer desk looked like it had been dusted. (which means it is usually dirty? Haha!)

Oh, I’ve not said have I, where the phone was found? It was moved a few inches from its usual position, but out of sight, underneath the keyboard! I feel a greater fool than ever now!

The blooming day was nearly gone by the time I started on this post! Getting the Monday blog finished after all the time spent searching for Nokia-Nigel, meant it cost me a total of over five hours before I got it finished and posted off. Adding the fact that Peripheral Neuropathy Pete had joined with Shaking Shaun in making things nigh on impossible to type without so many errors… I should have been angry, but no… I was grateful that Cassie helped me find the mobile to use…

Then a Mega Mess! Could I  remember who I was going to call in the first place? Could I ‘eck as! Now, this is just how life is going for me at the moment…

I had the oddest thoughts and confusions. I was still grateful for Cassie finding errant mobile for me, and at the same time, felt worthless and full of self-loathing for not being able to recall who I needed to call!

There are people like lovely Lisa and Sister Jane, who I want to converse with. But no time left again! The evening carer is nearly due! And I’ve not had anything to eat yet! Ah, well, no wonder I’m not sleeping well.

I did a little Facebooking answered some comments. Then had a look at the WordPress reader. I just made the WP comments; now I shall have to give up blogging and prepare some fodder prepared… I imagine I will not be back until the morning.

Really weary now, just about done in, and the fodder had to be prepared, cause sometimes even hunger can survive the onslaught of weariness. (Ah, a touch of cleverness there, I thought?)

Bean and cheese and beef pasties, naughty cheese curls, slow-cooker destroyed potatoes by doing them for eleven hours! Tsk! Roast chestnuts and, sadly, the last of the black tomatoes. However, I did make too much of a plateful, and I was running out of eating-steam and considering abandoning the by now gruelling task of shoving any more food into my gullet, and…

♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chimed out from the doorbell. I instantly morphed into a smiling, happy, hopeful and cheerful chap; the moment that I saw it was Carer Julie coming into the room!

I asked her if she had enjoyed her holiday, as the others told me she was on. But she had been poorly, not on holiday. After giving me the medications, we had a too long chinwag and laugh. I mentioned that I had not paid her yet for posting the package to Lisa and Bill for me. And forwarded the thanks of Billum for her help. Showed her some photo’s graphics I’d done of Lisa and Bill, and she showed interest. ♥

But she really had to go; I had delayed her a long enough. I insisted she tool some treats and nibbles if only to help cover the cost of her doing the mailing for me. The last two little Natoora tomatoes from the fridge were taken. I do hope she and her partner enjoy them. ♥ Said my sad farewells to Carer Julie.

Washed, got down in the awesomely uncomfortable recliner, and prepared for the arrival of Sweet Morpheus

A mention of Sweet Morpheus, or sleep…
Sometimes he won’t let me get a peep…
This makes me tired, and I want to weep,
I’ve tried, it doesn’t work, counting sheep,
Nightly the wakings up rerepeat,
Insomnolence, can it be beaten?

Tonight, I gorrof to sleep really quickly…
Woke; pains from Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley,
I thought I’d been a kip for hours… ghastly…
I’d slept for ten minutes at most, eerie?
God of Sleep & Dreams, ignoring my sleep-deficiency?
Nodding back, and again started dreaming…
About ‘Man from Uncle’ Mr Waverley?

My shooting awakes, giving me hypertension…
Spent a while, in fretting and procrastination,
Back in the land of nod, minutes later, depression!
This time shaking from failed neurotransmissions,
Like a shot, back and deeply sleeping…
Why and how is beyond my comprehension…
Seems I’ve got a staying-asleep suppression?

Is it possible to get a sleep transfusion?
Will Sweet Morpheus be open to persuasion?
Can I bribe him or offer complete adulation?
Every time I nod off, I awake in absquatulation…
Can one invent a sleep button? Press for activation?
Or will I continue suffering mental altercation?

The Pure Hemp is bringing no sleep satisfaction…
I can see no improvement in my nocturnal hibernation,
I suppose I’ll be left with new mental disorientation,
I crave rest at times; there’s no commiseration,
I’d see the Doctor, but that’s another complication,
Hearing on the phone, she bounces back my email communication,

I see no way to make things better, somnambulatorily,
Fact is, today, I feel pretty poorly…
Awaiting the next Whoopsie…
Willing life to be hassle-free…
Asking profound questions of me…
Getting self-answers, of fiddledeedee!

Sad, innit?

34 thoughts on “Inchcock Today: Tuesday 15th February 2022: Farcicalisationing again!

  1. Finger failure on the keyboard is the bane of my existence. I’m not a touch typist, just a self-taught hunt-and-pecker. I can recommend Grammarly, however, for the cleanup. It lets you find the weak links and typos and gives you a huge Hossanah (“Nice job! You made that look easy!”) when you straighten out the underlines messes. Best of all, it is a free download. It just gave me a “Nice job!” Thank you, Grammarly. I love you, too!

    • Haha, I’ve been with Grammarly a few years now, Doug. The computer sor some reason, occasionally stops it loading. Cant find out why. Tsk!
      Same with your site, Doug. sometimes it wil let me comment, ohter like but not comment… it’s all getting to much. Haha!

      • Cheers, Doug. I pray the cataracts will be done soon. They say it will have to be one eye at a time, or I’d be blind for some weeks after if they did both together. So, a messy time waiting, Three different consultants (Ophthalmologists) to decide if it can be donw, if two of thethree agree, I can go on the waiting list. Tsk!
        They sent this message to me in the event that it goes ahead: The ophthalmologist will make a tiny cut in your eye in order to remove the cataract and insert a plastic replacement lens. You will not normally need stitches, but your eye will be covered to protect it from knocks after the operation.
        You will be allowed to go home the same day, but should have someone to go with you and to look after you for 24 hours after surgery, Oh dear, twice as well.
        Then the glaucoma will have to be addressed in both eyes – I’m hoping that will just be eye drops?
        Then Saccades in the right eye.
        When I get over all of them and it looks good, I’ve got to get the eyes retested again, and spent a bit more. Hehehe!
        Soryr mate, but I’m a little down at the moment, I need something to cheer me up. So frustrating, each say the eyes are a little worse, Please will they get a move on.

  2. Yet, even for a Grammar Nazi, Grammarly missed one in the penultimate sentence. (How often does one get to use that word, eh!? And I am pleased I got to used it here since you are a wordsmith who enjoys the language!)

    • Does yer know, Doug, rudely canging the subject, I am. 80 years old, and I can recall learning that word penulitimate, from a friend. We were on the banks of the river Trent, angling. And Bill Bates (even remember his name) told me what it meant. Must have been in the late 50’s I imagine, when I thought back when reading your blog comment, I felt I could smell the maggot factory nearby again… Ah!

  3. Dearest Inchie!! I am going to advise you since you are using HEMP! Well, the thing that will really help you sleep is Melatonin. Usually comes in minty chewable little pills. You can order them online. Usually 3mg tablets. Be sure to buy a good brand like Nature Made. Two of these at bedtime will give you a slight woozy feeling and then sleep. You need to make sure you have darkness too. One reason for the abrupt awakenings suggests sleep apnea. Have you had a sleep study? It happens when our breath stops for a bit, and in order to aid the autonomic nervous system, you are jolted awake to use your conscious system for a big breath. Try to whine the health care into giving you a sleep study at home. If not, you go somewhere to sleep while they have lots of electrodes on your head and body. Then it can be diagnosed and you will be put on Ambien or something similar. When I was in my early 30s I had a few sleep studies. First one I took Bill and young teen Alan. We brought a bucket of chicken from Kentucky Fried Chicken (aka KFC) and ate it on my bed! We had to come at 6pm and it is a good memory!
    I was prescribed a BIPAP mask which blows air into your mouth and nose in sleep. It’s like white noise and can help. When you do see a doctor regularly? When I was in a nursing home, the doctor came once a day. I was kind of different being so young and my wound care being such a unique and super star sort of status to use the most up to date equipment to manage it. That could by why I had he best of care and attention. Julie came to visit me in the home and she said she witnessed an old lady(not so far off now!) asking over and over at the desk to get her diaper changed. It made Julie say she never wanted to end up in such a place. At that visit and two following I found the residents to be welcoming and nice. I taught them how to crochet!! I made a bunch of animals at the request of some nurses for Christmas. Walk down memory lane. Dearest, I get frazzled over the loss of the remote because I LOVE MY STREAMING TV!! Like today for instance I am watcihng a compilation of Queen ballads. It’s one of those things I love! Billums is pressure cooking the swiss steak with onions I made yesterday. It still had a bit of bite in it, and since I cannot bite yet, Bill makes it SOFT! yay! He is my favorite Carer.
    I noticed our little friends in your heading! I must send you a few more little ones. Lisa

    • Memory Lane is more valuable than Downing Street or the White House, Lisa.
      Thanks for sharinmg.
      Bilum is precious!
      Melatonin, I’ve written it doen, Lisa, Amazon perhaps?
      With the eyes being so much worse now, I’ll not tell you what I thought you wrote with Queen ballads. Haha! (Mens lower region accoutrements)
      Rent going up, pension not going up, Healt Care costs and food prices rising, but Hey-ho! I’ve friends in Bill and yo! ♥

  4. The Case of the Missing Nokia, by Earl Stanley the Gardener

    We have a striking similarity in our respective abilities to lose something faster and longer than anyone within a ten-mile circumference. What is more, once something gets lost by Billum stays lost forever or for ten years — whichever comes first. And, if someone enlists their detection skills to the end of finding a thing lost by an Inchy or a Billum, well, the non-Inchy and/or the non-Billum will be the one to find it right where we left it and in clear view. Of course, Cassie found it with remarkable facility.
    Glengettie remains the world standard for best tea ever brewed. Good thing yer did not allow Sainsbury’s to make a lousy substitution, a substitution that bears no resemblance to the inventory-less product — such as substituting 10 bananas for a small jar of mustard (see the Parable of the Mustard Seed for more details regarding Mustard seeds but not regarding a bevy of bananas.
    One-way conversations are better than zero-way chin wagging. Your ode on missing matters is a classic of its kind, Sir. A few inches from the expected location is as good as a mile away. Just how big is your desk for it to supply an amazing hiding place? Is it as big as that table that separated Olaf Scholz from Vladimir the :Putin?
    Another thing you are very good at losing is sleep. Finding a Nokia would be achieved much fasterer, thinketh ye no?
    Julie is another generous soul, good of her to accept a small token of appreciation for supplying HRH and meself with interesting items from the past in Merry olde Englande.
    Hoping that that git, Morpheus does not play games with losing sleeping time, and probably laughing about it.

    • I enjoyed reading that Billum. A mastepiece of commentating! I f I could put both arms out stretched, that would me the length of my second-hand shop bought, 1966, E-plan sideboard which hides things when the cleaner offers assistance! Hehe!
      The difference in the Carers willingness for catting, is atronomical… I thnk that’s the right word.
      Bloody Herbert is at it again today.

  5. Parsing grandiloquent language into unexpected discreet phonemes is more fun than a drum roll of funky donkeys.

    Google Translate puts it this way:

    Großspurige Sprache in unerwartet diskrete Phoneme zu zerlegen, macht mehr Spaß als ein Trommelwirbel funky Esel.

    Which then translates into English as follows:

    Breaking down swagger into unexpectedly discrete phonemes is more fun than a drum roll of funky donkeys.

    Hands outstretched contain enough tiny spaces to hide many things:

    shoes, ships, sealing wax, cabbages and kings.

    Most Carers are not conversationalists…this reminds me of the carer who talks constantly, even calling you from another room 🙂

    Adios, Muchacho!

    • You should offer your opening paragraphski to a politician, sell it to hime use as a slogan – bet your get an offer! Hehe!
      A diffeent Carer came last night, Billum, you must take a look at the photograph of her in the blog I’ve just posted… I assume there is some in there, I heard her voice. Matter of fact gal, until it came to choosing her frink and nibbles. Haha! ♥

      • I need to quit my day job and start selling copy to politicians of any kind, preferably paid in cash or Bitcoin. No counterfeit farthings accepted.
        Shall be looking for the new Carer photo. Wasting no time in choosing their drink and nibble. Hoho!

      • I was let down yesterday by Meridian. The Carer forgot to return my laundry last night. EQ knew when my response was a little dour towards the Carer, that she’d fetch it up to me later, so did not get my head down. Sure enough she came in with laundry bag and put it on the other room? Half-asleep, think I thanked her, off she shot – the clothing was not folded, creased and crammed in the bag. The freshener I supplied had not been used.
        Not the end of the earth (I think), but it got to me.

  6. Unfolded, creased and crammed, freshener supplied and then not used. You might see this with a juvenile twit, but not a service that charges you much for less than minimal work.
    As you can see, it also got to me.

    • The feeliong that no one cares comes to mind – which is disappointing cause its Carers that don’t care. Humph!
      Sorry mate, a little low now. However, love to all, along with my thanks for caring! ♥

      • You can sometimes find that a complete stranger cares more about you than a card-carrying Carer.
        One of the important reasons I show up here every day is that I actually do care, and in knowing that you care for us as well. Getting down is a normal reaction to the everyday absurdities that arrive every day.
        Much love from us, from the incomparable Alan, and each furry — including a kitty that shows up when the world is dark to obtain a tasty nosh. ♥

      • Merci mon amis, one and all and everyone, furries included. You did it again, you brought back a happy memory or two… About by beloved furry rugby-ball shaped bundle of joy, Cyril. Always the gentlecat. Often he’s bring in a ladfriend with him, and he always let her have first dabs of fodder supplied… it’s true. Then he’s did into his bowl – whoosh, all gone! Nice thinking back to better times, cause as of this morning, I’m not much interested in things now, a lopsy depression has dawned on me, and its not easy.

      • I try to evoke memories in my writing. Memories are as close to everlasting as anything I believe exists. Those who thump their respective religious tracts and speak of eternal damnation in terms of an jealous God who likes disciplined adherents. Seems a God like that has some worship issues.
        On the other hand, I like the gentle reassurance that an old friend such as Cyril brings to us.
        A god who says ‘Love me or suffer Hell for eternity’ is a tad creepy in my estimation. Cyril and a memory of Cyril are solid and comforting.

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