Inchie: Wed I0 Dec 2025: If it could go wrong, it usually did today!

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I hate every bloody Wednesday!

Often no time to do the laundry,

Nurses call, each one is in a hurry,

But they keep their appealing attractancy,

Concentration gone, Inchy reacts abstractedly,

Getting the cleaning done? It’s chancy,

High-Mood-Horis is an absentee,

Doctor’s appointment is set for next Tuesday.

And the hospital, EENT, for the 6th of January,

Nowt heard from neurology, it’s all a mystery,

Text from Doctor, I’m to visit the surgery…

Date given? 10th December, that’s today!

No wonder Darius had such an extended stay!

I wanted help, felt the need to pray…

Phoned Virgin about the remote for the TV,

Well, Carer Ejaz did, it wasn’t me…

He’s a gift, an Angel, a treasure to Inchie,

Carer rang off, spitting blood, aggravatedly,

At customer service, they lack any ability,

They wanted me to send a photographic ID!

My bank number, why, I couldn’t see…

They’d my number, password and word in memory,

We both felt we’d floated into an ethereality,

The man on the line showed aduncity…

Uncaringness, superiority, and asperity,

No affinity or affability, he oozed adversity,

Why did he want my card number? Baloney!

I related this to Trustpilot immediately,

Virgins’ Trust Rating was just 1.3…

Tried again to phone the Doctor in Neurology,

To tell him I’d got Peripheral Neuropathy,

“We only work Monday, Tuesday & Thursday,

That’s what the AI thingy told me today,

I mopped the kitchen while Ejaz did the laundry,

The bending made me go off balance & dizzy,

Had to order Catheters to catch my pee,

Tried to ring the Cardiac Surgery,

In an effort to be sure and guarantee…

My next appointment was on the 1st of January,

Depressed, miserable, and feeling poorly,

I need a miracle, or even a hopeful epiphany,

I’m moaning; Heaven may hear my plea…

Whatever will they put in my elegy?

I ask this cause I’m running out of energy,

“He came, He failed, then left feeling empty,

He was in agony, and also self-angry,

Confused, and rightly felt ashamedly,

Aged, now considered to be curmudgeonly…

Self-fault-finding, grumpy & grouchy…

Cantankerous, querulous, and crotchety,

 Only Carers & Nurses visit Inchie…

Ambulances take him away occasionally,

Iceland, Asda, Ocado, with a food delivery,

He’s never been accused of being unfriendly…

Although he has been a détraquée.
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Nearly all of the day is in the Ode.
Hectic, without my Carer I’d have lost in a mind of confusion and uncompleted tasks.

In the morning, I deleted all of the photos on Kodak Tim 2, thinking I’d already put them in the WordPress gallery – I hadn’t!

Not a lot then…
What a clot!

By Inchie

78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!

6 comments

  1. pvcann – Augusta, Western Australia – I'm Paul a writer based in Augusta, Western Australia. My main passion is writing poetry.
    pvcann says:

    Thank goodness for carers then!

    1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchie says:

      Ah, Ejaz, saves me so often. Thank heavens, bless him.
      Cheers, Paul, keep well and safe. 👍🏼

  2. The carers are sure helpful for you, Gerry. I hope all your appointments go well and have good results. 😍🙏

    1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchie says:

      Cheers, Tim.
      Today, plumbers checking for a leak. I burnt my dinner. The nurse de-scabbed, cleaned and redressed the arm wound, then the leg wound. Then I cut my finger opening a food can. And a few minutes ago, I had my first known seizure of the day. Coming out of it to find I’d knocked over the cookie-jars onto the floor, and found the picker-upperer on the hospital bed, and the TV was switched on. Now I can get the cleaning up done. Hehehe!

      1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
        Inchie says:

        Do you think I’ve got inbuilt Whoopsiedangleplopits. Tim? Hehe!

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