Category: Non-Epileptic Seizures

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Today was bad enough, gut-wrenching, piteous, and wretched. By the time I got around to starting this blog on Saturday morning, up until about 03:00hrs, hope had returned, and it seemed I was at last going to make some progress with it. But No!
CorelDraw, MS Word, and the computer’s shortage of memory ensured that Monday was going to be the worst day of the month. Sunday was bad enough. So, I’m putting both days of the same blog in hopes of getting at least some catching up done. Sunday’s memories faded as I tackled Monday’s surge of dingbats, computer cock-ups, Seizures, insanity and failures. Sunday’s tales are going to be in short-form, detail-wise. Monday’s events took over my poor, demented brain. 
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Finally got to bed.

Waking up views…
A little misty out there.

Ejaz found the ‘missing’, much-searched-for Cancer Phoo Test thing I’d lost.

Did a body check, foamed the feet, and changed the socks… well, no, he didn’t come thinkl if it… or was that on Sunday. Confused again. It would help a lot if I could read my own writing on the memory pad. Then, as I was telling Ejaz about me losing the kit, he smiled a sarcastic, sympathetic smile, shook his head, and picked it up from between the pillow and cover. I felt such a fool!
My balance seemed a lot better today, despite my lack of sleep. And as Ejaz left, I found myself singing to myself. Cliff Richards’ The Young Ones’,  humming to the Shadows’ Stars Fell on Stockton’, and moved on to a quick Yodelling song, Frank Ifields’ She Taught Me To Yodel’.
Then I grabbed the phoo-test equipment and off to the Porcelain Throne to catch a torpeo in the bucket for sample taking? But could I get anything to flow? No! I waited and waited, hoped and prayed.
Nothing, not a sausage! I crossed my fingers I would remember where I left the taking- kit. On top of the toilet roll.

I hadn’t felt this good for ages; I was almost perky! I got on the computer and made great progress on Friday’s blog. I reckon I started singing again, as I opened Excel to make the graph. To add a column for the weight of the passed urine to be recorded in.  
I didn’t, and still don’t know what I did wrong!
But after two hours altering things, Excel froze!
I contained mt self-anger well if I recall rightly. I just closed it and left it for a while. Then reopened it.
I’ve never seen many messages come up on the screen one after the other! I checked on Google, asking their robot what I need to do.
That just confused me more. So, I did the usual and turned everything off, then started again…
Stupidly not saving the CorelDraw and WP work I’d just done, in my desire to get the Excel book back.

Booted up, pressed the Excel start button, and it did so. I chose the file to open, and it opened… but it was the same as when I first started it, hours earlier. I’d lost all that work! It was a struggle to sort it out because relearning how to use and manipulate the programme was so difficult to remember, and I thought I’d done a good job… but not now.
Another hour lost, then I had to start over.
Gasps of frustration!

Ejaz rushed to clean, dry, and medicate my feet and ankles. There was no body check this time.
He was so busy.

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Who is it? Does it matter?
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No doubt about it, no question.
This must be the worst snap
than I’ve ever taken.
The envelope for the phoo sample.

End car park, it looks a
little different to me?

Sheer frustration made me take this shot.
Three wheelchairs bought, and I can’t
use a single one of them! Humph!

I turned on the TV to watch some Heartbeat.

A new world record… for me anyway.
I felt like I’d blinked, and nearly nodded of and shot awake instead. Carer came in… I then felt the upsurge of acidity into the mouth, nose, and throat, so there was no guesswork needed.
This, I believe, was my longest ever seizure. 
I turned on the TV minutes after he left on his previous visit. Seems that I’d been off into cuckoo-land for around three hours or more. With the recovery taking very little time, it adds value to my estimate. In the past, all short mini seizures had taken much longer to come out of. The longer ones seem so much easier. There’s a reason for this, but nobody told me what it was.

A snap here, of my right leg.
Pretty little thing, innit?
Hahehe! Seriously, though, it is far better today, clearing up nicely, now; thank you very muchly.
A bit dodgy when taking the bowl back to the kitchen sink. Can’t carry that and a walking stick, but my balance has much improved over the last two days. I’d like to say the same about Back-Pain-Brenda and Right-Shoulder-Sharia. But you can’t win them all. The odd one would be nice.

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Fings ain’t wot they used to be,
That no longer bovvers me,
I don’t say it antagonistically,
I ain’t talkin aggravatedly,
So good luck is an absentee,
I’ve got peripheral neuropathy,
Can’t see, cataract, you see,
TBI, and a fractured knee,
Catheter. no manual pee,
Bad back, deaf, Tothache Tiffany,
So many worse of than Inchie…
Arithmophobia, littlest ever willy,
But I get understanding from Jenny, 
How did I get into this state? A mystery…
Please accept my apology.
Hehehe!
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All The Best, TTFNski!

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The Porcelain Throne usage…
Produced not a sausage!
Constipation, in my dotage…
Went to do the check for the clinic,
But I could not find it,
I felt a right idiot,
My belly had grown more pudge,
My brain worked like a kludge,
While I was using Paintbrush…
My computer chose to crash,
I seemed to be gruff, habitually,
I could muster little advertency,
Got the computer going… Ah, Merci!
An hour later, it went down on me,
Hope I can get finished & posted,
Before Monday, a nurse expected,
Depression doesn’t need to be detected,
Darius all day, as I expected…
Seizures? Their number increased,
Thoughts, conclusions, indeterminacy,
Confusion Konrad at full capacity,
Self-lamasting, involuntarily,
I laughed aloud at about 17:30,
Changing intentions, ambiguity,
Hot tap left on, self-bellicosity,
Computer problems, self-loquacity…
Pathetic self-pity, close to lachrymosity,
KLife’s salaciously, a natural propensity,
I didn’t believe in serendipity,
On Ejaz’s last call on Saturday,
I went from the depths to feeling happy!
Ejaz found the Phooi-test kit, you see.
Then face a sigmoidoscopy!
Keep safe, go carefully…
💚 With bestwishes from Inchie 💚
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Morning view of the end carpark.

The knee & legs look better than yesterday.

Late morning, mist lingering late today.

This is a log of Goat’s cheese, delivered tonight, and I could not recall ordering anything at all.
Especially not for so late in the night.
Going bonkers here.

Evening view.
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TTFN
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I’m so peeved off with not having good news.
I’m fed up with all the hassle I’m going through every single day this week; for more demands for the needed validations, confirmations, and various details I need to supply about my pensions, and bank details, just to get my application for a little more help started. But I’m not moaning, as such.
I should feel over the moon after Jenny 🧡, who set the ball rolling in the first place. And her kind attention given to me, and understanding of my problems. She’s been an Angel to me. 🧡
The precious help both of the Wardens had given me today. But, shamefully, I am more uptight than ever. Taps running, peeing on leg, foot, sock & slipper, going through the agony of having to take of the socks, fetch a bowl of Dettol water, wash the feet. Spill the water, carrying the bowl back to the sink. Going without socks or slippers on (pathetically, I can’t get these on without help) until the next Carer arrived. Totally confused about the paperwork and details needed for the NCC. Thankfully, as I said, Deana & Julie arrived and went through everything, a long, awkward job that I would never have got done on my own, and got me into my bank app, then sorted new passwords, favourite thing, memorable word, etc. for me to use later. That sorted, and they went to the bank’s site and provided the required details. Thank you, gals. Saved the day for me. 🤎

Ejaz arrived along with a trainee Carer. 

I managed to make a cock-up with the follow-on Poo-test. I thought I’d taken the envelope and swab thingy into the wet room with me. Constipation Conrad was in full control today. I made three attempts to force things along, but on the second fail, I could not find the swab pot thingy. I searched all over, but failed to find it. All these worries add up. affecting my outlook and mood. Just when I had cause to cheer up, something went wrong again. Like me, leaving the hot water tap running to go cold, AGAIN. Luckily, after I’d washed and shaved. I was washing the socks when the nurse arrived. Broke my concentration; it takes very little to do that nowadays. Humph!
But, I’m just saying, not moaning. (Much!)

Nurse Rebecca arrived. Nice to see her again. She asked if I would like to be added to the MDT listing. She was not keen on the state of my right leg, where the Catheter had been removed from… yesterday, I think. I mentioned how I struggle and fail to get my socks on and off. Explaining the procedure I have to go through, after each of many failures to close the valve, and get soaked in pee. After Rebecca left, I looked up Nottingham MDT on Google. “The purpose of the Wrap Around MDT (WAMDT) is to ensure that people experiencing a high level of unmet need receive integrated health, care, and support”. Glad I said yes to Rebecca’s question now. This may help me get assistance with things? Whatever it is.

Carer Dilan. Told me, “Buy some small pots to take the Peptac in, and this will eliminate you from getting the dizzies when you put your head back to drink it.” Good idea. Not that I wanted to spend any more of my dwindling bank balance, but I ordered some plastic pots from Amazon after he left. He rang the pharmacy for more medication, primarily Bisoprolol Fumarate. (Beta-Blockers)

Deana & Julie did a great job sorting the details for the NCC assessor. And me, of course. 🤎

I let the hot water tap run cold again. Grumph & Spit!

A very interesting snippet here on the memory pad. As I see it with my catracted eyes, it read; 
Poice fhomed wice, ap offer fire, twoce. 
Any guesses, please?

Late Night Nosh – Nice!
No butter-buttered bread with cheese spread.
Imitation fish sticks (Nice taste).
Dried fried onions, I could not eat these, I’m afraid, they were too hard on Toothache Tiffany.
Beetroot. And surprisingly tasty tomatoes for the time of the year. Seaweed crisps, but light ones, thinner, so I managed to devour them. The crustless soft wholemeal bread was okay (But costly). 
The mix of mature cheese spread and no-butter butter went down nicely. Finally, the lemon curd yoghourt finished it all off superbly!

Late Night View
Not very good, the best I could do.

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Nightie-Night – Or, Good Morning!
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I first stirred at around 0300hrs and swiftly nodded off again when I saw the time. 0740hrs, I woke up with a bit of a jerky neck and could feel the pain from . So, felt I’d had a nocturnal seizure, and seconds later the upflux of an acidic flavour confirmed my suspicions. So I gave it a few minutes before attempting to scrabble out of the bed, to recover sufficiently. When I did get myself out of the warm, comfy bed and stood up with the stick nearby, I did the gentle balance exercises with no bother at all.
I felt uncomfortable, with achy knees, but none of the other ailments seemed interested in giving me the usual painful morning greetings.
Give them time, Hehehe!

As I was collecting the bins to sort into one bag, boy, did I get annoyed with myself. I hastened to get the toothache spray from the computer desk, to find it empty. No worries, I knew I had two more sprays in the medical drawer. I got them out and opened the first one, to find that it was empty as well! I’d only just opened the box as well. A little miffed, especially at the price they cost me. The second one, and now only one left, worked okay. But now, I do not have the money in mt account to buy anything until my pension goes into the account. So I did a silent prayer  asking her to be kind until next Monday, so this spray should last me until then. I used a fair bit of it as several teeth were playing up at the same time, which is unusual. Of course, with so few scattered about, it takes time to find the offenders, given the many gaps in my mouth where the molars used to be.
I got the bin bags into one large one,  then nipped to the wet room Porcelain Throne. Aha, Constipation Konrad was losing his dominance at last. No bleeding either. I considered using the new razor, but in the end, didn’t have a shave. I’ll wait until Ejaz can find time and make sure I don’t break the razor of cut myself. He knows the quirks of this model and ordered it for me last week.
I got the kettle on around 0730hrs and took three photographs of the morning view on offer from the kitchenette window. 
of to the computer to get it started t osee of ot wpuld work today, taking the mug of Co-op 99 tea with me. But, no pictures were on the SD card again? I checked whether they had gone to the camera’s internal memory. Nope! So, back into the kitchen to try again. Half expecting that the camera had joined the mobile phone, computer and the wind-up torch, all of which had given up the ghost in the last 48-hours. But, no, I took three more snaps of the amazing-looking mini-clouds and made sure they were on the viewer screen after each take. Back to the computer to load them into CorelDraw.
The last picture was taken higher up. I don’t know the name of these types of cloud formations, but the sky looked great.
I uploaded them, and the next thing I remembered was the acidic taste rising from the innards into the nose and throat. I think this seizure could only have lasted for a minute or so, because the computer had not blanked out like it does when unused for a few minutes. Recovery was practically not needed at all, but I still remained in the chair for a few minutes more in case my balance had been affected. Then I got up for a hobble about, without much bother at all. Back in the seat, and got a belated dizzy spell. I really had the feeling that I was going to fall out of the chair. What’s going on here?
Then noticed the untouched mug of tea near the clock-calender was stone cold, and showing 08:00hrs.
This arithmophobia is getting to me.

The intercom rang, and a JS delivery arrived. And I was dead certain that I’d ordered this for next Tuesday, positive, sure, confident I had. It seems I hadn’t. Still, I got some daffodils for Jenny.
And the refrigerator was crammed with things I’d already got it, and next week’s, which turned out to be today’s repetitive items. (I think). I still can’t believe I’d done it again…
What a plonka! They told me in the hospital that I would be getting help with my stupid ordering and remembering problems. That was last November. I anticipate help will arrive any moment now.
Shelled Kenyan garden peas, & shredded Leicester
cheese, along with yoghourts, grapefruit juice and a Sweet & sour chicken ready meal.
I think I’ll have that tonight.

Jenny rang me. She can’t get down in time to do the NCC text queries to ring them. Good as gold, she came in while Ejaz was here and I was in the wetroom trying the new shaver, which will need more concentrated intructionalisastioning from Ejaz.
Jenny & Ejaz were in a deep discussion when I got into the room. I put the hearing aids on, but still could not hear what they were saying. Hehe!
Here is what I think took place. After problems trying access things on my SweetLink mobile. Then, when I get texts, I can click the link? Jenny is going to give me her old iPhone to replace the current old-folks mobile that has never worked right, since I was recommended to purchase one. Jenny is coming to help tomorrow, with the issues and arranged to come while Ejaz is here. Bless her Cotton Socks. A few other things were discussed and arranged, but I can’t reclaim the details at all now, the next morning.

I was recovering from a seizure, sat at the computer, and musing over how bad the NHS is getting. With a smidgeon of self-pity in attendance, about all the failed promises of help with finances, memory, arithmophobia, seizures, cataract, and neurology assessment… Etc. I mused over what my only Political Hero, Nye Bevan, had done and said in creating the NHS in 1948.   
Then, what Herr Starmer said about his destruction of the NHS, England in 2026…
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The meal smelled wonderful; I spent a long time prepping and cooking this one. Confident of creating a feast of sweet & sour chicken, Oh, yes…
BUT, NO!

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TTFN – All the Best
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Today was poddling along without too much bother or hassle. Until I suddenly became tireded and weary to such a degree, I closed the computer and got down to have a kip on the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. And stayed there for the rest of the afternoon into the night. Then the morning. But… not nice, but could I get and stay asleep? No! Apart from the Carers, bless them, waking me up, I must have stirred dozens of times. But couldn’t get up. What a state!
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I was woken up by Carer arriving. Surely he could see the state I was in? But insisted on asking me about the medications. When he handed them to me, the pot seemed a little bare.
But that is ementia for you, or me, or both of us. Hehe! No doubt it was correct & right, but due to my previously called Cognitive impairment, Diabetic Dementia, Vascular dementia, and now newly named Pre-Morbid Icogniscence Impairment, I tend to get things mixed up and wrong, misread, misunderstood, or confused. Especially in the state I was in this morning, well, most mornings.
I spent what seemed like frequent bouts of problem viewing in my mind. British Gas, Carers’ hours, the computer, Virgin Media, EE mobile bills, food ordering, Arithmaphobia & seizure recovery problems, and unsolved queries. An out-of-it-day.

Morning photos
The end car park mudslide!

Rainy day.

Much-loved by WordPress readers and bloggers is getting-on-a-bit (Doug’s) Andy. Full of character. He’s had a lot of medical treatments, some that scared us, but the lad came through again. Bless Him!

Morning brew.

One cloud in this photo looks almost ghostly to me. Is it an alien cloud containing the next universe’s seek & destroy vessels? Hehehe!

Ayup, the sunshines out!

Sun on its way now…
A closer shot…

Out a bit…

A final twinkle, as she does fade

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Looking suspiciously young and thin in this snap of his head? Wonder when it was taken? Ah, 2002!

TTFN

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Rainy Morning…
Later, a rainy morning…
Food Delivery
More sauces?
Did I say it was a rainy morning?
Rainy evening.
Not a good day, but I’m sick of moaning.
Realised I had not got help with filling in the NCC form online. Ejaz, I think he’s not coming this Saturday. I can’t ask Dilon, the lad can’t cope with many things, and this from would be as baffling to him as it is to me. I’ll ask him to wash the feet in the morning, and cream the toes. He’s doing the weekend, I think. 
Constipation Conrad again, massive torpedo style.
Cock-up, an order arrived. The trays of black bean & beef meals: two had split open, covering the other items in the bag with the sticky black bean sauce. That I just do not need and cannot afford, which, or remember ordering, added to the depth of .
I was pathetic at coping with things today. Self-loathing, frustrated and having silly thoughts.
A greenish raiony shot of the end car park late on.

Ah, a better shot later on.
I’ve just told a Carer about my struggle with ordering food. No reply, but he did tell me he could see a marker pen under the bed. Off he went, as I was saying how low I was feeling, no answer or comments as he disappeared through the doorway. I locked the door and felt worthless.
This black bean meal, yes, I ate the third of the meals; the others went in the bin. Messy, mess.
I thought it tasted nice, but couldn’t get the satisfaction it should have. Moaning again!

TTFNski, each 🤎
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