07:00hrs: I forced myself to evacuate the bed. Parting was such sweet sorrow. And an Accifauxpas as well! I knocked all the pairs of sorted socks off the rack as I felt my way around in the dark. About 15 pairs fell and got mixed up. I worked through them, unmixing them. Huh! I turned on the light and started sorting them back into pairs. In doing so, I felt the catheter’s weight and realised I had not detached the night bag. Further realisations followed… I’d not put the night bag on. The pouch emptied very phooy and was a deep, unhealthy-looking colour. Tsk! Emptied the bag and carried on with the sock sorting.
The need-entry call came from the intercom panel. It was Carer Ejaz arriving. He got the medications sorted, checked the urine colour, and collated the bags for the waste chute. Then, as I did my back no good with stupidly bending to retrieve the fallen socks from the floor. Ejaz Phorpain-Gelled my hurting lower back, checked and barrier-creamed my acned areas.
I took some snaps from the balcony, then the kitchen. Very foggy, and it got worse as the day went on. Not that it bothered me, all snug in my prison cell… Flat! In the end, the car park area, the fog was seeping into the balcony between the window frames, and the wooden floor panels were soaked through. In this shot, through a window, the mist seemed to roll, yet there was no wind. Reminded me of the old black-and-white films.
Got the computer on, and CorelDraw to put last night’s and this morning’s photos on. Had to postpone this to go to the . What a great evacuation! The easiest one for many a month! No squirties, not too solid, flowed… wait for this, it’s true… Painlessly! No bleeding either.
Back to the computer, and got as far as getting the snaps into the file; and a series, maybe 5-6 min-seizures, that were so fast and tiny of seizures hit me. Coming out of the last one, I could not do anything but sit and wait for the after-effects to clear. At first, I dared not even stand, sure I would fall or topple from the seat. Never had such a violent recovery before. It took me ages to feel confident enough to get up and wander around, using both sticks. By the time I got along the mini hallway to the door, my balance had improved, even the dizziness. The only thing I was concerned about had nothing to do with seizures; it was my vision. Floaters galore in the cataracted, blurred left eye. And that feeling like you’ve got grit in your eye, causing much blinking. I made a note to be careful. When I returned to the computer, I was so happy with the recovery that I was singing to myself. Not that it matters in the slightest, but I was singing ‘The Young Ones’ song by Cliff Richard. 1961, I think. The Shadows, who did background music, were fantastic. However, at this point, Cataract Katie made doing anything on the computer such hard work; so I assume there will be many mistakes in this blog that took 22 hours to complete. It almost hurts sometimes when zooming in on anything. I couldn’t even see the cursor sometimes when typing in Word, CorelDraw, or WordPress. I continued, but as I mentioned, it was hard work. But in the morning, after clearing the brain to get this updated, things did improve. It’s the end of the day when gets worse.
10:00hrs, I went to get some spuds cooking and make a brew of tea… a comical side to this, although it wasn’t all that funny. I boiled the water, and teabagged a mug. Filled a mug with boiling water and left the teabag to brew. Tittivated the oven a little, dropped the scourer, got the picker-upperer to retrieve it, lost my grip on the picker-upperer, tried to catch it, and hit my hand on the counter, and the knife shot up in the air and down on the floor. I then went into the wetroom to get the small picker-upperer that I keep in there to help get the protection pants on, and picked up the scourer and the long picker-upperer. Taking the short one back to the wet room for later use. Back to the kitchenette, and realised I’d filled the other mug with boiling water, and put the teabag into that too! So, I washed the mugs and started brewing again. Third time getting it right. A drop of milk in after it had brewed, and feeling rather contented at my not getting all uptight about things, I picked up the mug of tea… and lost my grip. This most annoyed and a slightly more violent reaction to this Accifauxpa! Self-lambasting, etc., Huh!
The intercom sounded, but stopped before I could get there. I waited a few minutes, but they did not try again. Then, I realised they (Amazon) might have left the parcel down in the foyer. So I hobbled out of the flat to the lift; neither was coming up, so it looked more likely that the Amazon driver had phoned; it would have been dropped down there in the foyer. Sure enough, I found two parcels on the table. One for me with the torch, and one for number 53, I gathered them both and dropped 53’s at her flat. No response to knocking, so I left it near, but not in front of, the door for her. I like to be a help when possible. Back in the lift and pressed the floor 12 button. The lift stopped, and I got off – but it was on the ground floor! How was that? What did I do wrong? Ah, well, back in the lift and up to my floor, back in the door, with my stability poor. Oh, that rhymed. Hahaha! Opened the box and hand-cranked the torch, and got an intense beam. The crank felt stable, but with no sunshine around, I don’t think the mini solar panel will charge the torch up at all. Then, I left the torch on the kitchen window to see if the solar panel on it worked. I think not today (@ fog) with the fog seemingly getting thicker out there.
Back on the blog to work out where I was up to, and what I was possibly doing before the delivery was made. It took me a while.
Carer Mizra called. He gelled my lower back, and gave me some painkillers, and Peptac, took of the socks and foamed legs, and put fresh socks on me.
I blogged for a couple of hours, not very productively. Then off to make another brew. It seemed to me that the fog was finally getting a little lighter.
Made a brew, belatedly changed the calendar clock. I started the Ode-writing. This was, for some reason, actually hard work, which is a rarity. I imagine the reason is that it’s getting blurrier again, it’s later, and I’m getting tired.
Ejaz teatime call. Medications, and a short, quick natter. He seemed tired himself. His cough is still with him, as well.
I could not manage any more time on blogging; my eyes were so much worse.
I started prepping the meal, taking two shots of the view from the kitchen windows. I put them on, out of order. I’m very good at doing this. The bottom one was the first taken, which came out a little like crazy art. Is that the word? The top one was much improved.
I got the nosh finished and served up. A very nice one. Tomatoes, potatoes, some tasty, but sticky, Danish Blue cheese, and pieces of pork pie. Delightful caramelised red onion pickle, all went down well!
Back to my usual cock-ups with the late evening photograph taking of the dark night.
I’d set Kodak Tim 2 to Night-Landscape and did my best to keep the camera steady as I snapped away, hoping for decent photos. I don’t think I succeeded.
======================= =======================
TTFNski Have a wonderful day, I’m sending best wishes your way! ======================= Hehehehe!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 07:00hrs: I was woken and cheered up when my Carer, Ejaz, arrived. I’m well back in my state of depression, and still feeling irritable. I did not get up. Ejaz saw how I felt, as I must have appeared to him. He gave the medications as I forced myself out of bed. At least I stayed up… but for an unnice reason. I had to go to the wet room, so I did. Constipation Conrad was in charge this time. Made a change. Washed my hands and gingerly returned to the front room. Ejaz went to remove Four-Wheeled-Walker-Wally and called out, “Oh… Gerry!” In a voice told me of, “Another Whoopsiedangleplop!”
The bathroom was again flooded! Ejaz quickly sorted the flood for me, but he had to go; his 15 minutes with me were up. Thanks again to Ejaz for rescuing me! Not that I can remember it, but I climbed into the hospital bed and fell into a blissful, deep sleep Zzz! It must have happened, ’cause I woke up when Carer Ejaz called, and for the life of me, I felt so sure I was certain it was morning. (Drugs wearing off?) Weary, still feeling tired, and an irritability like never before at being woken up.
I started the blog work. For about three hours, thinking it was morning again, I thought I was doing well. Got some potatoes in the crock-pot. Back to the blog.
Rang Sister Jane & Hubby Pete, to see how they were going. Her sore throat was getting better. I learnt no more, as someone called on her while she was speaking.
I’ll try to remember to ring her back later.
I sat down in the £300 second-hand shop, bought in 1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. Waking up five hours later!
The day was done, and night had fallen. Things had changed a lot in the room. I had moved from the recliner onto the bed. What’s been going on? How, when did, what did I do? I found these two evening shots on the SD card of Kodak Tim 2’s SD card in the morning. Confusion reigned. Where are all the photos I took during the day? For sure, Carer Ejaz had been. I found that he had written down the urine grade and time on the notepad near the computer. I knew he had issued the medications, and not long ago, either, I could taste the distinct flavour of the Peptac in my throat. I couldn’t have been asleep for five hours then? Confounded and bemused, I went into the kitchen to find I’d had a meal; the cutlery, plate, and tray were in the sink, soaking, and the water felt tepid. A visit from ? Belatedly back on the computer @ could I remember where I was? No! Finally climbed into the hospital bed at 0105hrs.
Neurology meeting looked forward to. Must find out if they received the video we sent, that Carer Nimra took of me in a seizure or not.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Hope that you can all enjoy a Christmas break, Dang, to the diet, eat some cake…
Turkey, Chicken, vegetarian or steak, But try to get in a little break,
Although the state of Earth is bleak,
Humankind’s resistance to sin is so weak,
To counter war, we can only speak…
Pray to a God or someone mystique,
I hope to write again next week! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – TTFNski! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I was up all day yesterday and all night last night! I put this down to whatever it was they injected and gave me to drink at the hospital. Whatever they were, I liked ’em! Now if only High-Mood-Horis can join me, I’ll be okey-dokey! Hahaha! I’ll probably suddenly sink and fall asleep soon. I got a lot done in catching up on the blogs for once. I loved it. I was washing the pots when Carer Ejaz arrived – at last the medication looked right. More than I have been given over the Last few mornings. Great! He did the first full-body check since his previous visit. Told Ejaz about the hospital hiccup yesterday. He listens and remembers to remind me about things, bless him. Then I was off to the Porcelain Throne… Oh, dearie me… # I did it again! I didn’t make it in time. I’ve had worse scenarios than this one, but not for a while. The cleaning and freshening up took me ages. And yet, as these Throne failures usually have me cursing, self-lambasting, and feeling sorry for myself all at once, this morning I felt only a few mild curses, a flutter of frustration, and a little guilt! The floor, pants, furniture, and my legs were all affected by the sudden, early burst out, spraying all over. It took a snap from the kitchen window. I still think whatever they did in the QMC has calmed me down considerably. I wish I could find out what they were and buy some for myself. I imagine they had a stronger effect on me than cannibals would. Ah, no, that should have been cannabis, I think. Then found these on the right on Kodak Tim 2’s card. That may have been from another day, maybe? Or have I already put them on another blog? Or did I take them later tonight and forget I’d done so?
I turned on the news and the computer to finish the last of Thursday’s blog.
Birmingham rubbish collections still suffer from their problems. I haven’t posted it yet, but I thought I’d get this started now, just in case I forget anything. (As if I would…Hehehe!) Then I got back on the computer.
My favourite nurse called to check on my arm and leg. The leg is fine, no need for any patches, and the arm is itching, so I knew it was improving. She put an unmedicated plaster on, cause there were a few congealed bits that, if I caught, might bother. 💖
caught me out. I looked at the Ocado order, thinking it was due at the usual time of 8>9. But after a little worrying, this being 09:35hrs, I realised the order was for 20:00> 21:00hrs. But I still took this all calmly. How have I been going without sleep for so long without feeling tired? (What the heck did they give me yesterday [thankfully]. I want some more… I’ll be having withdrawal symptoms when they wear off.) I anticipate a lowering of resistance and falling asleep when the effects wear off! Back to posting the blog.
Carer Ejaz looked after me today with three calls. Always gives me confidence when he visits.
The nail-cutting gal arrived. Took the payment from my coat pocket as I asked the gal to. As she was about to put the leg strappings and undersocks back on my feet, she realised that the left leg strappings had wee-wee on them, and the slipper as well. Christ-In-Heaven-Help-Me, I’d somehow failed to close the release valve when I emptied it. I was self-angry, but still not as much as I would have been if I’d not been given whatever it was at the hospital… but the calmness was fading, and fast. I knew I was on my way back to getting annoyed with all the things going wrong again. (And progressively did!) A damned shame! Turned off the computer.
I made an earlier-than-usual meal of sorts. Ready-made roast potato skins with cheese, adding a dollop of Leicester cheese on top of each potato. Ate it, and was overcome with instant tiredness.
The Ocado delivery arrived. I sorted out the comestibles, which took me a surprisingly long time. Not that it mattered. I’m so far behind. I don’t think it will save me any time not doing it. Is that right? The selection of foods gathered for a fashion parade photo. Smoked streaky bacon. No-butter butter. A Pork Farms Pork Pie. The Apache potatoes. And a pineapple-flavoured soda water (one of 12 purchased)
Another farce! I got a text from someone with no information about what it was, other than “MMS”. A link, which I cannot use on my prehistoric mobile phone for old folk. Wonder what it was?
I took the growths off of some red spuds I had, and got them in the oven to cook slowly. This makes the skins/jackets of red potatoes seem thicker, and when I dollop on the gorgeous-tasting no-butter butter when serving up, it does not run away; the skins contain it and thus taste extra special. The blue Stilton cheese, although like many things has lost much of its taste, was compensated for with the addition of some mushroom ketchup with a drop of good-quality light soy sauce. These two ingredients go very well together and add flavour to Irish and/or vegetable Stews, even soups. (No charge for these culinary tips, by the way… Hehehe).
A photograph found on the old SD card. I used this once in the last few days. Sorry if I’ve already used it. Looks like the sun is shining toward the end of the car park.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Horis returned towards the end of the day, just as the effects of whatever drugs I’d had were sadly wearing off. One high was replaced with another, but a guiltier one that brings him on his visits, with the uncomfortable-making.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – He used to be known as Inchie, not Unchie- – Spelling mistakes now come guaranteedly-
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Ah, here’s what I recall… Much as I wanted to get up, I couldn’t. I stirred at whatever time it was, but as much as I tried to get up, I couldn’t. The body insisted I nod off again. This happened thrice more, and on the fourth waking, and I was just nodding off again, the intercom door chime rang, and in came the Carer. (Deva vu?). The body insisted I nod off again. This happened thrice more, and on the fourth waking, and I was just nodding off again, the intercom door chime rang, and in came the Carer. No Health Checks were done, the catheter wasn’t changed, and he couldn’t find the Bisoprolol tablets. I was more helpful on this. Even though I’m a one-eyed Inchie, I found them in the drawer, but I had to confirm with him that they really were the beta-blockers. Dilon not understanding me, me not him, it gets a bit farcical at times. Partially deaf, one-eyed, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Dementia Doreen, Memory Mandling Malcolm, Sandra’s Seizures… and now I was gambling with the morning medications.
I took a snap of the wonderfully hued view from the kitchen window. Nice. Made a brew and got the computer on. Carer 2nd call. He put a soluble paracetomal in my bottle of water, Hey, Presto; a shower from the bottle to outmatch Rome’s fountains! Well, it shot up about five feet in the air. Wot a mess! I had to hand-wash the wet down. Put the dressing gown in the laundry bag. The one remaining clean dressing gown was put on. Still no time for the blog or ablutions, yet.
Carer3, Ejaz – laundry down -back up tried Esay Link for a lift to the Doctor, No go! Ordered some catheters with the T-valve, but it took four phone calls, costing half an hour. Tried EE to sort out the new contract – 25 minutes on the phone to be told, a problem; they will ring back in 15 minutes. They haven’t yet (90 minutes). Ejaz ordered some day catheters with the T-valve, but it took four phone calls and another half-hour. Now I have to go down to collect the laundry. Ejaz had run out of time. Of course, I kept dropping things and bending down, which was enough to trigger Back-Pain-Brenda and Dizzy Dennis’s pain to come on.
On the way back up to my cell, I had such anger it hurt physically. The utter frustration of things NEVER going right, but Depression Darius had not appeared! And neither had High-Mood-Morris either. I can’t describe how I felt… I’ll try though. Best I can come up with was dysthymia, but I’m not sure what that is; but it sounds depressing in itself.
I made sure the copy of the letter was sent to my Doctor at Sherrington Park Medical Practice. That’s the one with ‘Customer Assessment Nazi’ who interrogates you on why you want to see your Doctor. Recommendations for anything less than you are dying: go to A&E, see your chemist, phone 111, or 999. 111 usually tells you to see your medical practitioner. His superior tone of voice reminds me of Joseph Gorbels… but Joe was friendlier. I always get the sensation after he has refused me an appointment, that he is ticking each rejection on the wall, while saying with great joy, ‘Yes, yes…Yes!’ The Iceland delivery arrived. The driver took the bags to the hallway, and I moved them into the kitchen. Then got them sorted out as best I could, I was rushing a bit, not wanting to make a mess and lose more time, and still had to get the ablutionalisationings done and get dressed. I still had to get the Khagoule and dressing gowns hand-washed. I did the dressing gowns first, they are harder to hand-wash and took me yonks to get done and hung. But it had to be done.
Carer Dilan arrived, and I mentioned I had called his company to let them know I may not need a call in the morning, as the ambulance will be collecting me and others from 07:00hrs. His boss said she could send someone before seven to help you prepare and make sure you’re alright. Thank you I replied. Next, in the morning, I asked him, assuming he would be coming, to remind me to put the NHS paperwork in the walker basket, help get it in from the balcony, and get me dressed. He then issued the medications. And asked me if I’ll be in tomorrow morning. Do I have a lack of confidence?
Got on with this blog. I might ask on his last five-minute call to get the trolley-walker in tonight, since it might freeze on the balcony overnight. Busy-Busy!
WOT A PLONKER: IDIOT, TWIT! I’ve just (Thursday night, late after getting back from the hospital) semi-realised that I might possibly have mixed up Wednesdays and Thursdays in my blog posts! I’ll carry on and hope for the best; hopefully, it makes a modicum of sense, time-wise. I’ve got to carry on, I think. The day’s events get vaguer. No written reminder notes were taken. I may be feeling a little forsaken.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = I rose from the bed at 04:30ish. A definite zobbie-like, half-asleep, fighting to activate concentration and to keep it working. This was a partial success! Catheter emptied. I recall opening the computer to check on dates, times, and a list of things needed to take with me to the Hospital EENT.
I checked the hand-washed clothes hanging all over the flat and turned on the heater in the wet room. To help finish drying the clothes hanging on the shower rail, and to warm it ready for ablutionalisationing. Then moved the four-wheeled walker into the hallway and made sure I’d got nibbles, a bottle of water, and the paperwork needed in the bag.
Then got the stand-up wash, teggies and shaving sorted. I popped on the
Nothing out of the ordinary… which I suppose makes it extraordinary? Hehehe! Putting on the fresh Protection Pants was excruciating, and the swollen legs made genuflecting even more painful. Obviously, I couldn’t get the catheter bag changed or the socks and straps back on my legs. The urine looks terribly dark in the tube.
Getting lighter now, as I took this snap of the front car park in Citrus Way.
Carer Dilan arrived as promised, early, to help me get ready in case the lift arrived early. I’d forgotten he did not know how to change the catheter bag, so I had to leave it on. It’s four days past the changing date, but what can I do? The Carers who know how to do it are not calling on me now. Hence the dark brown wee-wee. He’s not very good at putting on the leg straps. But he’s still learning the job, and he’s a nice enough bloke. HE got them on, but they were lumpy. He got them on so quickly I couldn’t follow what he was doing. I paid for this with more pain later in the day. He helped me get the trousers and oversocks on. Issued the medications and asked if I wanted anything else. I replied negatively and thanked him as he shot off.
I was fully dressed, with all items either in the walker or in the coat pockets. I thought! I didn’t realise at the time, but I’d forgotten to put the hearing aids in and wore the reading glasses.
I didn’t know the time, but the ambulance came nice and early to pick me up. They were patient with me when I asked if I could just check the lights and electrics, and insisted I go down in a wheelchair, one of them taking Four-Wheeled-Walker-Wally with us down to the ambulance. And off we went.
They had no other patients to collect, so they took me straight to the hospital. One went inside with me to show me where to go and booked me in. Then I sat on the walker, waiting for them to call my name.
It didn’t take long, and a lovely young lady tapped me on the shoulder to wake me up… Yes, I’d nodded off. I’ve always been a dynamic person. Hahaha!
The lady went through a few questions and began the eye test. I felt a bit awkward as I struggled to get into the positions properly, but she was patient with me.
I seemed to lose what the lady was saying towards the end, she put some of the deep yellow eye drops in…
I’ve no idea what happened for a while then…
I came back from what I knew must have been a seizure, because of the acidic tastes coming up into my throat, mouth and nose.
The Emergency Cardiac Assessment Team (CATS) flooded the room and were checking blood and ECG on my ticker, while questioning me. I had not recovered from the Seizure properly, but did pick up someone telling the team that I was clutching my chest.
That I believe, I do regularly after a seizure in response to the acid reflux that comes up from my innards.
I was taken to a cubicle in the A&E. By the time I’d got there, I was back to normal… well, my version of normal. That’s too strong a word, really. Hehe!
The CATS team did more tests, the whole kit & Kaboodle. Capillary blood glucose (CBG) test and a urinalysis or blood ketone test.
As I awaited the results, I thought they would likely be good. A cardiac Doctor carried out a question-and-answer interview with me.
I sneaked some Kodak Tim 2 photos in. Nurses came regularly to do blood tests and BP. I felt as if I caused them a lot of bother, and I was a bit embarrassed. This, on the left, was taken clandestinely from the first cubicle I was in.
They moved me to another area, and more questions followed; they seemed worried about the size of my right leg. Saying the left one was bloated, but the right one was dangerously so. An appointment will be made with a Diabetologist.
I had to look that one up when I got home.
Then they moved me to the main EENT waiting-and-booking area, where the ambulance woman had taken me when we arrived at the hospital, which seemed a long time ago. A nurse came to me and asked if I’d like something to eat. ‘Yes, please!’ I answered. She kindly brought me a plastic cup of water and an egg sandwich.
I’d been there a while and sat on a chair with my legs resting upon Four-Wheeled-Walker-Willy. Best I can make out on the photograph, this was about half-past two. Another nurse came to me an hour or so later. Saying I look uncomfortable. I was blissful and kept nodding off. She moved me into another chair, and this is when I took the photo. Throughout the day, I’d been getting texts and calls. But most said, ‘This Call/Text failed. I got calls from the Carers’ office.
At half-past five, the ambulance arrived. When I got in the ambulance, I rang the number, and it was Carer Dilon. I told him I was on my way home and would be there in 20-30 minutes. What a mistake to make! When I got in the ambulance, I was the only passenger. ‘Soon be home’, I thought…
WE went to the Neurologist’s place to pick up a patient and his Carer, the man being on a stretcher.
Then went to the main entrance, where they brought someone else out and into the ambulance. Then to I know not where, to drop one off. I took some photos inside the ambulance on of dark night. This one on the left was at the front entrance to the QMC, Derby Road end.
I’ve no idea where we were, but it was about half an hour later, as the rain came on heavier, almost musically playing a tune on top of the ambulance. When I took this snap, I didn’t expect it to turn out like this. I’m not sure where this one was taken either.
But it wasn’t far from the prison… no, flat. Haha!
I was ravished! But too tired to risk cooking. So, I made a cold nosh. Marmite sandwiches and some cheese curls. Enough to satiate my hunger.
Carer arrived, unsure, both of us, whether to take medications as I’d missed two rounds while at the hospital. I just had a Dose of Codeine and one of Warfarin. Whether I did right or wrong may never be reasoned. I got the computer on and made a right mess, as described earlier!
I worked through until now – 04:42hrs – honestly!
I made a brew of extra-strong tea. While doing so, I took a snap of the view from the kitchen window. A bit of a failure, wasn’t it? So, I tried again. I had another go at getting a decent one this time. Ah, this was a much better effort.
Blimey, the Carer is due in 2 hours, and an hour later, the final food delivery of the year, I hope. I think maybe the blood drink and injection they gave me at the hospital temporarily perked me up, cause I don’t honestly feel all that weary or tired. Brain-fogged? Yes!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Been up for 23 hours now!
Why? How?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – WELL, I’VE COCKED-UP AGAIN The Blog, I mean. I spent ages getting a new template and trying to reduce the space between lines, not paragraphs. Finally achieving this by such a long-winded route. Instead of writing in the notepad, I filled in events in MS Word. Got mixed up with notepad and erased the entire kit and kaboodle, done!
I’ll do my best, but things don’t look good for having time to write a blog on Wednesday. I’ll try to find time for an Ode, if you don’t mind.
Woke at 06:50hrs. Fought a battle with my reluctance and unwillingness to get up. Won it at 07:00hrs, and removed the catheter night bag. Balance exercises, and into the kitchen to take a snap of the view on offer. It looked a little dank in the kitchen on this snap. It seemed a smidge depressing outside, too. The intercom buzzed, and I let in my Carer, Ejaz. Who arrived, gave me my medications, and emptied the nocturnal catheter bag… I heard him calling me, and hobbling to the wet room… ARRGH! FLOODS in the wetroom. Thank heavens it was Ejaz who came; he turned on the shower, and the drain cleared the deep water. A right mess. I pressed the alert button, and Ejaz went into the room and took over the call; I was already panicking. They do not handle floods; we have to ring 0115 2222. So, Ejaz did. They were not open. We tried, but there was no answer on the General Inquiries number. Tried the Repairs number: 0115 9555. AI message: We are open between 8:30hrs and 17:00hrs. I got the computer on and around 09:30hrs, I rang the Repairs number, but stopped, it may be better to ring ILC (Independent Living Coordinator). Oberstgrüppenführeress, Warden and Primo Ballerina, Deana first. On answerphone. Updated some numbers in MS Word. Tried the 5555 number and got AI. Pressed this for, that for, and 3 for, but couldn’t tell which was which. Then I rang the 2222 number. And got AI, with press this fir, and that for, and 3 for, but could not hear which was for which. I gave up and tried ringing Warden Deana again. Got through. Busy but will pop up to take a look. Got the floor mats out and covered them with towels to help them dry. Went back and mopped up some water; it seems to be coming from the drain hole. Wardens Deana & Julie arrived to investigate the leak problem. They will call the Maintenance for me and let me know the result. The dressing dropped off the arm wound, and I replaced it with a Heath Robison affair. Which fell off ten minutes later. Determined to get it covered, I tried again. Wound cover, with tape at the top and bottom of the patch. On the computer. For 14 minutes, the dressing dropped off again. This time I was getting short of plasters, gauze and tape. So, I used several small plasters to put on top… We’ll see how that goes. Made a brew, and back on the computer. I’m so far behind now, I feel self-annoyed…. if that’s the correct terminology? Carer called, and I told him the tale of the flood. Painkillers, nobody checks for yet another day. I’m hoping to get a shower and shave, which would wash off the creams, lotions, and foams. But only if the flooding doesn’t start again. If that starts, I’ll be in danger of slipping and taking a tumble. I bade my bad English understanding, but okay, Carer, a good day.
Back to updating yesterday’s blog – at long last, and it is already nearly 13:0hrs. Getting today started is questionable. However! I believe that waking up to the floods, then the arm wound kerfuffle getting it redressed, then so soon the leak was fixed, then I managed to get a dressing to stay on the arm; Small gains to some, a miracle to me. Thus, I am now even further behind than ever, but am singing away and seeing the funny side of everything… Why? High-Mood-Horis has been activated! Fanbloodytastic!
No info about the leak has arrived, 6 hours later. But I keep checking to see if it has started again. I’ll do it now… all clear, looking okay.
Back to the blogging. Got yesterdays done and sent… talking about scent, I will be so glad to get a wash & shave, it’s been that long I might not be able to find the wetroom. Hehehe! Phew, or rather phoo!
I’ve lost the EE word list I had been working on & off! AGAIN! High-Mood-Horis hastily departed, and Dark, Dank Depressing Darius returned, and I was a completely different character from the last few hours. Now, I swear I’m thinking of other failures as I search the computer for the missing file. I’d probably miss it with this nasty habit of wanting to find something else to blame myself for, taking priority in my changed state of mind. Getting help with this is a no-go. As with the other things, the plumbers haven’t checked yet. My left eye is making things hard on the computer. I’m sinking here. (16:15hrs). That’ll help the coroner work out the timeline. Should I do what I momentarily thought of while writing this? I perhaps had a mini-seizure just now. The acid reflux I just smelt and tasted is an indication. No memory, of course, but I see that I conveniently wrote the time on this blog. It is now, as I sit here waiting for the after effects to die down, 16:50hrs. A Carer might be calling soon; I don’t want to be out of sync when they do. I’m not going to move until I am sure the balance is okay. It should only take a few minutes max. I’m waffling again. And at the same time, I was talking to myself, non-stop. Didn’t like the answers I got.
The dressing fell of the arm again. I’ll leave it off now, it looks like it’s getting a lot better. I’d put some peas in the slow cooker many hours ago, and after tasting some, I got the potatoes in the oven, and went to close the computer; I might as well, not getting much done.
Back to save the stuff on the computer for closing down, and the mobile flashed once and beeped once. A text had arrived. It was from the NCC Maintenance department. It left me semi-confused; it said the electrician I had requested will be calling this evening, between 18:30 & 22:30hrs. This will be classed as an emergency repair. Baffled, I wondered why they had called an electrician and not a plumber. I assumed this was an error, and any minute now a plumber would arrive. I smelt the aroma of the singed to death potatoes I’d left cooking. Threw them away, and made a substitute meal with some of the remaining roast potatoes in the freezer, peas and three Silesian sausages… not hostages, just in case Starmer is reading this blog – Hahaha!). There were not many left, and even fewer after I’d picked out the bad ones from the Asda bag. I removed the black-spotted spuds and binned them.
I’m certain this time that I had a seizure, and damned lucky over it too! I came round with the usual acidity on its way up into my mouth and nose, and realised I was bent forward, with a terrible back-ache and on the very edge of the chair. I don’t know why I hadn’t fallen off of it! But, give me time!
A last effort with the now-working-again Kodak Tim 2.
I vaguely recall a few moments of, erm, er… reflection… no. Remeniscing? No. I feel like a fool again here. When I started this passage, I knew how I felt: I was moved by something this view inspired. I’ve been looking at the photo, hoping to recall, but no. This has happened, or things like it, on and off all day, very self-anger-making. Spit!… and SPIT again! Haha!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Hard to believe, I know. But I rose at about 07:00hrs, and had no accifauxpas, tumbles, bleeds, or tumbles. Even the morning dizzies and loss of balance, Brenda, were far milder than those of the last. 👌🏻 Within minutes, the intercom sounded as I snapped a photo of the unchanged yet calendar clock. It was Carer Ejaz. He issued the medications, hoovered up the carpet and picked up some dropped overnight items. He checked the medication drawer while I took the first shot of the late-morning view from the kitchen. After Ejaz departed, I noticed the sun breaking through behind the two buildings. So I took two more photos to see the difference within a few minutes. I got on the computer to do the Ode, and got carried away, yet again, with the word-list recovery… then, the computer froze on me. Should I risk unplugging everything and try starting again, or give it a while to see if it starts on its own? I can’t honestly say if I did or didn’t shut it down or wait… sounds complicated, doesn’t it, well, to me. I’ll tell yers why… I went into another seizure (I’ve been having a few more this last week), and I think it was a long one. Cause when I came out of it, firstly, the acid reflux was very mild; as the longer ones seem to be. Secondly, as my grip on reality – well, as much as I’ll ever get, returned, I realised the computer was working again! It took me a while to absorb what had taken place, but I do think I’d moved some graphics around on the page… But there’s no certainty in my state of mental health. (Sympathy-Seeking again? Hahaha! I went to the kitchen for a safety check and spotted a rainbow. Not a string one, but beautiful all the same, and I took a snap of part of it. Then noticed how much higher the rainbow went, and I could not get all of it by a long way into the frame. I turned the Kodak to take a portrait instead of a landscape, hoping for a sharper result. It wasn’t as good as I wanted. A gentle rainbow is what I called it.
I found another Furry for the day. I may have used it earlier, but I don’t think I did. What an absolutely fascinating expression on Silver’s face! The cool, laid-back casuak lolling. The warning from the eyes… posing with an almost threatening look at the camera operator, Tim, but no fear shown. Bootifull!
Oh, I missed this snap of sky that I took earlier, glad I realised I’d missed it, cause I think this one was one of my better efforts. Well, not really, just that the sky cloud colouring was so different and almost artistic. Still see some sun over the horison, and the various shades it casts actually took me back to my early 20s. And a buxon lass, name of Mavis, a bit of a brilliant artist; water painting was her forte; amongst other activities we shared. She had thick thighs, a willingness and liking for… But never mind that, my mind strayed offline then at the thought of her. I’d love to tell you more, but it might depress me, at the fact that she is now only a much-missed memory. Hehe!
Derious moment here for a few seconds. I’d not made many memory notes on the pad, spending too much time trying to catch up. But when I consulted them, it was impossible to read them with both eyes, obviously with the left cataracted eye, but even when I blocked the left eye, I had trouble seeing with the so-called right eye. Did you follow that? I didn’t.
I put the potatoes and peas in the oven and took two snaps of the evening view to the right, then to the left of the kitchenette window. They came out surprisingly decent for me, and I think I went into a relatively superior . Hehehe!
I baked some mini-potatoes and added cheese on top of each half of a spud. On the tray, I added some vinegar and fried onions. With three tasty Solowka bestsilesia sausages. Plus a pot of lemon meringue dessert. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I sense that tomorrow will start off badly, Much self-flagellating, from gaiety to negativity, Not that I’ve got insight or sapiency, But I know it’s true, believe me… It’s Monday night, as I write this, you see? And still in need of logicality & sentiency!
And I write Odes, anacoluthically,
I must face reality even if hypothetically!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – It is now Sunday night. Today’s events did me no good, and I’ve been drifting off from anything I started. Often, I don’t get back to finish them. So much happened today. If you don’t mind, I’ll just mention the important stuff and anything prompted by the photos taken. Sunday was worse for the mind-wandering; I thought today was bad enough. I’ll try to get it done & posted before midnight. If I don’t leave reality again. I hope to get it done, then decide whether I have time to start on Sunday’s blank blog. Ho, better get some sleep, this is getting ridiculous. Tsk! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Morning snap – I got up late, and this is the major Whoopsie of the day coming up… I’d been asleep when the Carer rang the intercom. I admitted him on the panel, and went to get the kettle on. I was a smidge off balance and confused with waking and getting u[ far yoo soon, before getting my balance. But thought I’d cope, I’ve had it worse than this… The next thing I remember… Carer Ejaz was lugging me into the front room and the aged, grotty-looking, c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. A mild taste of the acrid stink coming up into my mouth was not at first realised, and I wondered what the heck had happened. Ejaz explained it to me graphically. Then wrote some notes for me to use, realising I may not recall what he’s told me. Ejaz was standing behind me as I went to put the used teabags in the waste bin on the door handle. He saw me going down and fitting my head on the door. Said I just went down rather slowly, and he, like a shot, got me into the other room and the recliner. He’s Saved The Day Again! I’d be lost without Ejaz, no doubt. But the rest of the day was iffy, I think. Good job, I took a few snaps, even if only from the windows.
Balcony in the drizzle & mist
Not sure why I took this one of the open fridge?
Wandered off the blog and onto the word listing again!
My Glaucoma-affected eye started doing some visual gynastics, and I could not use the computer, RV or read for two hours or so. During this period, I tried to make a mug of tea… Yes, I dropped the just-filled mug on me and the floor. I’ll beg whoever calls next to help me clean it up. I forgot, and the stains are still there in the kitchen now (Sunday night). Humph! Then I went to the Porcelain Throne and walloped my shoulder on the wdgw of the door. I’ll try to explain quickly what my vision was like in the bad eye. It was mostly the same of before, but then I started getting ghostly, big floaters, joined by the regular black, spidery ones, with moments of no vision at all. I had a couple of times when everything seemed to have a runny custard going or coming down. I’m so glad I’ve got a lift to the EENT appointment on Thursday. This is due to Carer Ejaz again, and they have reduced his calls dramatically during the week. Spit!
4-Plumbers arrived to search for the cause of the leak that was flooding the flats below. I was not up to much yet after the near tumble-seizure. I left them looking at the kitchen, the airing cupboard and the wet room. A bit of banging and drilling was heard, and I thought this did not bode well. Eventually they showed up in the room, told me I had the all-clear, and shot off. Or was this yesterday? Anyway, I went into the bathroom and… All my things on the sink had been either knocked off or moved… I found some of the items on the floor at the side and back of the WC. No way could I risk bending down again, so I left them there. Then I realised I had been bending when I collapsed, putting the teabags in the bin bag. Not sure what that indicates.
The peas had been in the slow cooker for about eight hours now, on the lowest setting. I heated some faggots up in onion gravy and added the peas. A crusty baguette… Let the feast begin!
Number Two Whoopsie, in order of severity I got the night catheter on and was planning on getting in bed… but a summoning from the innards indicated I’d be best getting to the Porcelain Throne with a degree of urgency… the innards were right! I didn’t get there in time! But the good news is that Trotsky Terence was less acute than usual, thus the mess was far less messy! Unfortunately, as I bent down to retrieve the escaped-of-its-own-accord little semi-soft torpedo, my spectacles dropped of my head, and I got the dizzies, and sat down on the seat hastily… I felt and heard the glasses and frame cracking as I trod on them!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Each day brings new challenges: Accifauxpas, Whoopsiedangleplops, Seizures, Errors, Mistakes, and of course, Failures and Depression. This has to be coped with, I know this. It’s possible to accept these daily trials, because I also know there is no way of changing things. Docile-Subserviency is my only defence, well, it’s not even that really. There is no protection, no shield from lousy luck. One option, I suppose, is to go crazy… mind you, I’m on my way there now. You could not write a fictional diary with so much bad luck as I suffer diurnally in real life. There’s an element of humour within this tale of woe. I can’t find it yet, thought. But it’s there, maybe conjured from within my watered brain, Dementia Doreen, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, or my previously famed resistance to depression. But of course, I can ask them for guidance, but getting a reply is a bit hopeful. Hehe! However, silly as it may sound, I think there is a better chance of getting an answer from these ailments than from Social Services. I was going to get help with the wheelchair problems, my computer problems, my financial problems, water on the brain problems and Neurological assessment and treatments… none have arrived yet. Still, I may live long enough for just the odd one to come? Which one would I like it to be? Erm… well, perhaps, or not, maybe… anyone would be of help. Chances of getting any? Zilch comes to mind. But, you never know, I might get surprised? On the other hand, my recent medical history says none, with a loud inner voice. Shame! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Woke at 04:55hrs. Night bag removed, and into the wetroom for a stand-up body scrum, teggies, a shave, this did not take place, then some medicationalisationing of my inner and outer extremities. Totally, at that time, I got dressed and went into the kitchen to take some shots of the view on offer from the kitchenette window. Again, hoping to take a decent one at least. The second was better. Got on the computer, but ran into complications again. From MS Word, CorelDraw and Google. No idea why things were acting up like they were. So many aspects were misfiring. Space bar not working, then came on again. CorelDraw froze. I got a message from MS re: Excel, but could not grasp the technicalities, so closed the window and then all the others and left it for a while before trying to boot again. Went to make a brew, returned and reset the calendar clock, and gingerly, but hopefully, turned the computer on. Nothing happened? The lights were lit? I meandered back to the kitchen in the full grip of . I took this snap of the slowly lightening sky. It was not a bad one this time. Compared to what my one eye saw and how the picture turned out. To say I was feeling so low and in a fair degree of depression, I noted this. I reckon I was convinced the computer had thrown in the towel, angry at all the failed promises of help that never arrived, and had resigned myself to it. Back to the computer and turned it on. This time, noticing the external drive thingamajig was flashing away at a fair pace. Took a snap of it, I’ve not got the foggiest idea why. The computer booted up, and the working light continued. I think it might be MS Excel and Word updating something? I waited 30 minutes for the flashing to stop, then opened Google and CorelDRAW. Ah, that’s better, things seem to be working correctly, well, as near to properly as one can expect from bug-ridden, overcharging CorelDraw. My attention was interrupted by a text message on my mobile phone. Ah, hopefully that will be the night catheters ordered by my Carer last Wednesday. (It was). I was tickled pink when the computer came on again and had a visit from . Which proved enjoyable and rid me of worry. But also this rare but welcome ‘Sod-Em-All’ sensation that comes with Horis’s attendance, caused me to wander off the plot, and I spent over three hours plus, working on the much missed ‘lost-but-no-idea-how’ word-list recreating. Was I bothered at the time? Nope! I regretted it in the morning when I realised I had done absolutely nothing on this blog and had to start from scratch. Yet I thought I had made a start? I suppose I can blame .
Then, I had the longest-ever seizure that I can remember. I estimate that it was for three hours, and the day had gone! The Carer was ringing as I was recovering from the effects of the visit into the unknown. My part-drunk mug of tea was stone cold, my body half hanging out of the chair; I reckon I was lucky not to fall off it. Yet the after effects, compared to a mini-seizure, were piffle; I was back near normal, within seconds, and the acrid taste coming up from the innards was barely noticeable. Carer gave me my medications, rubbed some pain gel in the right knee and was off, bless him.
The District Nurse arrived. I’m always glad when this happens. She’d come to check on my right leg and but saw the state of my left arm, and proceeded in a no-nonsense manner to pick out the dried blood and lymph blobules, clean it and put a plaster on. Telling me (with a smile), she had not come to do this, just your leg. Then she moved onto the leg; whipped off the diabetic strapping, pulled down the under-sock, and removed the blood-soaked plaster, cleaned it and put a new plaster over it. I thanked her and off she went on her rounds. I bade her farewell. This is when abandoned me, and . And stayed for the rest of the night.
This Is Spunk A New Mexico resident who dwells with a large clowder of cats. Don’t let the cute expression fool you. He is the leader of the group and his paperatzzi owner, Tim. No doubting it, he’s a handsome one. Although please don’t tell other furries that I said so. Hehe! 😹🤎
I overcooked my oven chips a little (a little? Hehehe!) That was after going through the whole packet of chips, especially selecting the small ones that would cook faster, as hunger was starting to get the best of me. I knew I’d just got to run a sweep of the computer with CCleaner and thought they would be nearly ready by the time I finished, about 12 minutes. But no, of course not. Had me deciding to do a few minutes of the word-listings. Eventually, an hour later, the door chime chimed, and I smelt the burning! I took the tray of, shall we say, singed chips out and photographed it. The Carer didn’t notice the smell, which amazed me. Medications were issued. Then I made up a meal of crisps and opened a can of pork hock. It had a ring pull, which I pulled. The result was a cut finger, well, a cut thumb. I got a packet of Cheesy Curls, some cheese, and put the meat on a tray. I missed the chips naturally, but was pleased that the makeshift meal tasted good.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 04:40hrs: Awoke with a jump. Thanks mainly to my ailment , having a go at me. However, this was a good thing! It ensured that I could get up in time to have a good scrub-up in the wet room before a Carer called, without rushing. Good idea? It did not work out. I got to the wet room, carrying out the traditional clouting ly my shoulder on the door frame, setting off . The need to utilise the arose, and I got settled on the porcelain to urge the motion along. A hard one this morning. And boy did it flow once it started! It filled the basin more than ever before. I might have a salad for nosh tonight, avoiding the spicy foods. I cleaned things up and got the brush & toothpaste ready. I dropped them both, and both bounced about, ending up underneath the outflow pipe behind the Throne! I grabbed the wetroom picker-upperer and bent down to retrieve the absonded items… ! I got the left arm caught on the lid, and it bled, but not a lot. It hurt, though. Hehe! Having failed in my rescue operation, I tried again. And scratched my right knee on the same bit of the lid. Naturally, I laughed it all off, of course.
Made me forget to shave, brush my teeth, take my meds, freshen up, etc. I hobbled into the kitchen, oblivious to my memory loss, to take a couple of Kodak Tim2 photos of the dark morning view from the window. Determined this time to get some better results than of late. Ah, well, you can’t win them all. I’ve done better. Then again, I’ve also done much worse efforts. Haha!
Carer arrived, and I think I had a seizure, but did not record it cause I’m not certain. For some reason, I can’t recall much of this visit, which is why I assume I might have had a mini seizure, but no acid tastes were coming up from the guts into my mouth.
I really got carried away with the wordlist reclamationing. That’s the wrong word, innit? Made a brew, and got back onto building of the new replacement word list.
The second Carer call of the day, painkillers only taken, as this was when I realised that I’d not yet washed & shaved. Tsk!
Something seemed either missing or different on this snap taken from the balcony of the end car park. But, what? Got back to the word listings.
Afternoon sky photographicalisations taken from the kitchenette windows. The first is to the left, toward the city. Then wider and a little higher, and the fire alarm went off! (I thought) But it was the television that had either been left on or it came on of its own accord. I do feel such a fool! One more effort, with the small cloud above seemingly bombing those below with little puffy clouds. Haha!
I Don’t Recall This Happening Before… But, knowing me, it may have. The innards summoned me back to the Procelain Throne, compliantly responded. Settled as comfortably as I could on the plastic seat lid and waited for the contents to start their evacuation. The last thing I recall was feeling the slow buildup as it made its way out of my rear end… Zzz! As I woke up, It was a Carer, I’d fallen asleep on the toilet seat for three hours! Don’t laugh! Oh, go on then. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
