The Injuries, Frustrations and Farcial damage caused by my checking out the Amazon Delivery of Hearing-Amplifiers and a Lid-Removal tool!

The Amazon Delivery Man Cometh

He rang the intercom phone, he was at the door very soon,

And, it was only late in the afternoon,

For me, this arrival was of great fortune,

The Hearing Aids and lid opener would surely be a boon!

Yet it later proved me to be an utter paltroon?

– – – – – – – – – – –

He was off in seconds, his signature obtained from me,

I had to open the packet, to view, check and to see,

Would the lid opener, set me free?

Permit me to get at the mushrooms, that were pricey,

Opened the packet, would the lid work for this consignee?

Nope, it didn’t budge, I slipped and broke the mirror though,

Is that another seven years bad luck, oh-oh!

Now I have another bruise on my little toe,

But I would not give up and let this failure go!

So I stabbed the lid with a knife, the blood did flow!

Good job I store antiseptic cream, pads and bandages, don’t you know,

And some plasters with the medicines in the Bureau,

Anyway, afterwards, off the lid did go,

How to keep the Chinese Mushroom fresh though?

An empty beetroot jar saved the day, although,

 I wasn’t big enough, so some I had dish and to go!

– – – – – – – – – – –

I opened the hearing-amplifiers, excited, I thought I’d explode!

Things started well, batteries were the same, well I’ll be blowed!

Fitted inserts that best-fitted volume to a minimum, it was intolerable!

All I could hear was the blood rushing in my head, it was horrible!

I took the thing to pieces, and a battery shot from my Arthritic hands,

It flew all over, bouncing, it reminded me of a bumble bee,

Or maybe a miniature well thrown, Frisbee

Where did go to? I was fed-up with myself,

Searched finding it under and at the back of the corner shelf.


Painfully got down to retrieve this battery, to the dismay of Anne Gyna,

Duodenal Donald, and Arthur Itis too,

The knees that I had bruised were going blue,

Getting back up, and I swear this to you,

I grabbed the door handle, and slipped off of it,

Banging my knee of the wall opposite,

Dragging myself up a message from Haemorrhoid Harold did chant,

Told me I’d need to put on a Comfort Pant!

Thus, I end this little rant!

And to think that Dad used to call me Lucky!

Inchcock Today – Saturday 8th July 2017

Politically Unacceptable Nowadays?

Saturday 8th July 2017

Macedonian: Сабота 8 јули 2017 година

0450hrs: Stirred with the DVD still playing. How does it do that? I thought it turned off automatically at the end? Then realised that the remote control thingy was stuck down the side between me and the £300 second-hand recliner. So maybe I kept pressing buttons as I tossed and turned? I certainly feel like I had been doing so.

I felt I’d done a lot of waking up throughout the evening and morning. Found some pencilled notes on the pad about some dream.No memories at all lingered, just the scribbled note. No memories at all lingered, just the scribbled notes, oddly written in caps and script format?

Off for a wee-wee, found a bit of mess I’d left from last night’s altercation with the big toe. Cleaned it up, by then I needed to make use of the Porcelain Throne. Much internal bleeding from Haemorrhoid Harold, sorted things out and into the kitchen.

Oh dear, more mess, the cleaning up I did last night after the Accifauxpa was not very good. Cleaned the floor and the sink again to get rid of the bits I’d missed. Tsk!

Carried out the Health Checks. Sys 147, Dia 76, Pulse 98, Temperature 34.5 and the weight the same as the previous time. 14.65.

The big toe was still giving me some bother, so I took an extra Codeine Phosphate with the morning medications. But it was not bleeding very much, only the tiniest bit.

By the time I’d got these few tasks done, Anne Gyna and Duodenal Donald had stirred into like. Humph! Hehe!

Got the computer on and updated and finished yesterday’s Friday post.  Many Emails and WordPress reading arrived, so I got on with them.

Soon be time to catch the bus into Arnold to go and see the ducks and birds, so no point to do any Facebooking yet, I’ll see if I’m awake enough when I get back.

Got the ablutions tended to without any problems. Changed and I was all prepared and then departed.

As I struggled out the door with the bag and the waste bags to take to the rubbish chute, empty bottles in the bag for the recycling bins – Josie came out of her door opposite at the same time to take her bag to the chute. She insisted on taking my bags with her… now that was very kind indeed! Bless her little heart and cotton socks! (Thank you kindly: A common catch phrase dating from c. 1905 and becoming, by 1960, mostly archaic. The elaboration “bless your little heart and cotton socks!” arose c. 1910)

Got down in the lift and out again, into glorious sunshine. Dropped the bottles off at the bank and made my way to the bus stop and got seated on the bench and the crossword book out.

Had a nice chinwag with one of the tenants from my flats, she was unhappy with the extra walk to the bus stop, and let it be known. Hehe! I like her style!

Then I realised that I’d got the buses wrong again. The one on the way is to town, and the next one to Arnold is in two hours. So I got the city bound one, replanning for me to get some Dettol Lavender Antiseptic Disinfectant and some Wilko Citrus Men’s body spray.

Did rather well with the crosswords en route.

Noticed this Estate Company on Carlton Road, with all of its self-praising notices… and the woodwork above their door collapsing! Tsk!

Dropped off the bus and called in the Wilko Store. I inquired after failing to find the two things I wanted of a young assistant where I could find them. He told me he didn’t think they were stocking either the Dettol or Citrus sprays anymore now. Humph!

Popped into the Poundland Store and had a wander around. I ended up with a bag full of stuff that I didn’t intend to get. I’d loaded up with duck and bird food ready for the next time I get to visit them at the Arboretum or Arnot Hill Park. Best seed mix, Suet pellets, Sunflower Hearts and some mealworms. Mint chocolate biscuits for me and me only (Well. I like them! Hehehe!) Some retractable pencils, different colour highlighters and some spiral mini-notepads and departed.

Across the road and through the Victoria Centre ground floor to the other end and the Tesco Store.

I had better luck there with the things I was after. I got some own-label Potato Cakes, sourdough bread and wholemeal bread thins.Just hope there is room in the freezer!

I just hope there is room in the freezer for them!

I hobbled out of the Victoria Centre (Mall) and over towards the Trinity Square area, and along Clinton Street.

I could clearly hear someone talking on a microphone in child fashion well before I got to the corner.

I turned the corner but could not see the man with the voice, however: Noticed the chap in the door recess having a fag and on his phone…

A couple in the eating area of the coffee shop stood up and went to him giving him some verbals about something or other. I moved in the opposite direction. As I turned left two CPSO’s (Community Protection Officers) were running towards where I had just left?

I found the mystery voice. A bloke and two others dressed as pigs were reading from a book into the microphone. I assumed the pig things are from some TV show because a large crowd had gathered to watch and listen, all with kids in tow. Many were filming and photographing the entertainers.

I hobbled down into the City Centre Slab Square. Some stilted ladies were collecting for something.

Had a totter around.

They Nottingham City Council were in the early stages of erecting the Nottingham Beach, soon to be open again.

The kids were making the most of the showers, despite the signs telling them not to bath in the big one at the far end away from the Council House, due to the base being slippery.

Still, they all had adults with them nearby and seemed to be really enjoying themselves without causing any bother to anyone.

I noticed as I took this last picturization of the Slab Square, that only one person in the shot is using a mobile phone?

A rarity that nowadays, I thought.

I made my way limpingly along to Queen Street and the bus stop to catch the L9 bus back to the flats. Then realised that being Saturday, the last L9 wasn’t due for an hour and a half. Tsk! I checked the times of the 40 bus, and it was due in ten minutes. So I waited for it. Unfortunately, it drops me off a decent walk from the flats, but never mind, it will do me.

The gorgeous smell that emanated from Big Reds BBQ restaurant was making me feel so hungry. Seeing the posters of the fodder in the windows as well didn’t help much.


The bus was on time, and I was soon travelling back to Sherwood and the apartments. Had a go on the cross wording and did well again?

The bus driver nearly had me through the front window when he jammed the anchors on at the bus stop on Winchester Street Hill. The bus stop is to the left of this photograph, I took this one as got to the other side of the road after alighting the vehicle.

This one from a little further down the road, I zoomed in for to show some of the houses that are actually opposite me kitchen window. The chap in the car wash belting it a bit up the hill too.6Sat17

The bus stop is always a bit risky getting off of the bus there. It is situated on a double bend and the steepest part of the hill, so one can only expect a bit of discomfort when alighting.

Limped down and right then left onto Chestnut Grove.

The welcoming site of both blocks of dwellings came into view.

Soon had to make my way through the poles and tackle spread about.

At the Woodthorpe Courts end, there seemed far more obstacles to get through.

Perhaps they will be doing our block first?

6Sat15The plate of meat was stinging something awful now, and I needed a wee-wee desperately.

Got in the flat and the wee-wee was completed in time.

Got the fodder and things away, just enough room to get the bread in the freezer.

Pondered on what to have for the meal. Got some pod peas on the boil and reheated the potatoes on a little light. Might have some cheese on bread with the peas and potatoes done to crisp them in the oven. Oh, I don’t know.

Got on with updating today’s diary. Took a good while to get done. Because this update came through.

Epsom Printer. No idea what to do now?

The sky looked beautiful when I made a mug of tea.

Had a wee-wee. Serves me right?

Decided perhaps to have the potatoes and cheese and use the Sourdough bread to make some belly pork sarnies with it?

Not sure.

6Sat22Got on with catching up on Facebooking, then.

An hour or so later I went to check on the potatoes and cheese in the oven.

Decided it would be best for me to turn the oven on, so I did. What a Plonka!

Emails were checked again. Got some advice on getting stuff from Amazon from Tim Price. I ordered a hearing horn and a lid opener. Something else as well, but the brain has died on me.

Checked the fodder, be ready soon I think.

Getting late now, and I’m feeling weary.

Off to the Porcelain Throne. Blood from Haemorrhoid Harold and things seemed worryingly ‘loose’.

The meal was okay, not one of my best, but nice. I spoilt it with overdoing the cheese, and it ended up a bit of a battle to chew it… Hehe!

Got the DVD on to watch and within minutes I had drifted off onto the land of nod.