Duodenal Donald – Inchie Today

Inchie: Tuesday 12th May 2026 Carer Missed Call

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I rose singing out loud at 0325hrs. Took off the nocturnal Catheter pouch, got up and ran with it to the wet room, emptied it and returned for my morning exercises. Stripped off the nightwear and naked, I went onto the balcony, where I keep my weights. Grabbed a 240lb barbell and did a hundred waist-lifts. Got on the sit-up machine for 600 tugs, touched my toes 200 times, dived down for 400 press-ups. Then 250 squats, 300 planks & lunges. Opened the windows and yodelled out my greetings to the world, followed by a Tarzan Talk with the crows. A robust “Aah-eeh-ah-eeh-aaaaaah!” Jogging in place, jumping jacks, high knees, splits, then launched into ten minutes of shadow-boxing, with some neat left undercuts thrown in. Knee raises, one-leg stands, and leg extensions.
15-Min Beginner Cardio Circuits, including chair squats and 15 downward squats. Abdominal crunches, bent-over-rows, then nipped out and down in the lift and ran back up the fire-escape stairs, eleven double floors.
Back in the flat, drank a gallon of carrot juice and made a banana-and-garlic puree.
Well, alright, I only did 300 press-ups.
I’ll start again…
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I jumped awake at 0325hrs, this was thanks to who had been having a go at me about so many things I’d done, failed to do, lost, done wrong, forgotten about, or misunderstood. I usually cope alright with these attacks, but today was critically different. He was digging up memories not from years ago, as he usually does, but having a go at me about fresh stuff! The Git!
But as it kicked in, of took away my concentration; heavenly, I nodded off back to the land of nod. Annie was having none of that, and she kept giving me a good twinge of pain to wake me regularly.
At around 0500hrs, I moved to a different position and banged the ingrowing toenail on the bedpost.
Swore and cursed and joined me. I don’t think I did anything for a long time, just lay there, sadly feeling sorry for myself.
Slowly, I came to appreciate that the Catheter Flow back was pain-free, and I almost cheered up.
Freed the night bag, and as I did so, an involuntary escapage of wind from the rear end infused the flat, and probably others as well. It was putrid!
My timing in getting sat on the porcelain this morning was perfect.
Just before I got seated, the evacuation started of its own accord, and kept coming for a good while.
I think I coughed as the aroma filled the wet room. And it did, too. However, I’m a little confused about what happened, for I had a seated seizure mid-flow. When I came out-of-it, the usual acidicness upflowed into the throat and mouth, yet the disorientation seemed so mild compared to normal.
As I rose and started to wipe and wash the rear end, I realised I could no longer smell the pong that had permeated everywhere; it seemed to me to have been there a couple of minutes earlier.
Cleaning up, I knocked the battery clock off of the shelf. It showed 0635hrs? Impossible, I must have caught something when I used the picker-upperer to retrieve the AAA battery clock. Finished cleaning, grabbed 4-legged Wally, the walking stick, and casually made my way to the kitchen to get the kettle and make a brew of Glengettie tea. Spotting the clock on the window ledge, telling me it was 0650hrs. Where did nearly 2 hours in the wetroom disappear to? I had to check I was not going bonkers… well, no more than is usual, and got the mobile phone to check the right time. It was indeed 0655hrs. I think I’d had a second seizure, because there was no acidic taste in my chest, mouth or throat. I returned to the kitchenette and found I had not switched the kettle on. No big issue in itself. But I felt certain, positive that I had done so. Is it going to be another one of those days? My EQ has not mentioned what to expect or given me any warnings.

I made the brew, let it mash for a while, and went to the fridge to get the milk. Flippin’ eck! The fridge had a load of water slopping about at the bottom! Had to take out or move about the stuff and used a whole new roll of kitchen roll to dry it up. I checked the cans and bottles for leaks, but found none. Then found I had a few items out of date. Cheese and yoghourts. Of course, with my eyesight problems, I may well have missed some. Like last week, when I checked a jar of pickled mushrooms, thinking I must eat this soon. I thought it said Use by May 28… well, it did. But when Mizra checked it on Saturday, May 28, it was confirmed, but the year? Well, that was verified as 2025!
The mysteries of Woodthorpe Courts hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, ectoplasms, Whoopsiedangleplops, ailments, extraterrestrials, spirits, Accifauxpas, and the Fata Morganas strike again!
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I got the computer going on the second try and started updating the blog… then the Carer arrived. Hard Work. He cleaned the testicle area, but not as the nurse told him to. Disconcerting.

By the time midday arrived, I’d been to the toilet for a rear-end job four times. Each one was of the same or a similar type. Phooey, yellow and soft, but not liquid.

The extra-Carer call for 1330 > 1430hrs (cleaning) did not happen. No one has contacted me. Which is disappointing to say the least. When I did mention this to Carer Rachid, he offered no advice, help, or even a response, as far as I can tell. No apology (not that it is his fault), no support. No help with letters or emails.
Maybe they want to lose me from their books? They have taken E and M off of my daily rota, which is heartbreaking. The two best, I lose. Two hard-to-work-with replacements. There may be something in the air with this action. That I will not like, just a message from EQ. Could be an ulterior motive, surreptitiousness, clandestine, perhaps.
Or it would just be my usual bad luck.

bleeding & sore. We’ve run out of Anusol Cream yet again. Carer informed, no reply, or signs of interest given. Asked him to order some. No response received.

The INR blood girl called in and out in six minutes.
Oh, yes, she’s quick on her feet. Hehehe!

THE FEW PHOTOS:

The filthy gap between the now non-working cooker and the corner counter. I tried to clean it a bit.
Did my best. When no Cleaner-Carer arrived today.
Beautiful sky
But it wasn’t very warm
The Tree Copse
Closer,
A bit of blood from the piles late on Ran out of Haemorrhoid cream. No idea whether any Anusol has been ordered. Carer E used to handle all prescription ordering, but he no longer comes in during the week. A heartbreaking loss, and no idea, because no communication is coming from the new guys. I don’t even get any information or contacted when a Carer fails to turn up. I know these things happen, sometimes out of the company’s control.

Wobbly night shot
Sad meal.
Worra Day!

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HORRIBLE DAY
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Not feeling up to much, Sorry.
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Inchy: Sun/Mon 10-11th May 2026

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BP AND TEMP UP
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A mixed Sunday. Starting with my inability to move when I woke up. No medical or mental problems as such. I just felt so tired out and drained. I think I’ve worked out what the problem was, but I can’t be certain. But then, whenever could I be? Not for years.
I was dreaming that I was in the porta-cabin where we used to hold the weekly social get-together for the residents. I really did think I was there, and could see and talk to the folks enjoying the meeting that Jenny used to organise. I reckon this caused my reluctance to get up… I must have been trying to nod off again to get back to the enjoyment and fun I was having again. See Gaynor, Cynth, Jenny, Joe, and the others again.
I know it sounds strange, but I was asleep and was knowingly trying to reach for the dream to reappear.
I part-slept for longer than I have since having my 1996 Covid jab, when I slept for 22 hours.
I was eventually forced to get up by a disgusted-looking Carer Dilan. Not amused at all.

, after the Carer departed – I farted, and near as it is possible for me, I darted, well, hobbled swiftly to the wet room and Porcelain Throne… I’m sure my regular readers will know what happened next… but I’ll tell you, I didn’t make it in time! Then into clearing and cleaning-up mode.

Next: After a long battle with the computer, and not knowing what I was doing, I
rather miraculously got it to boot into action.
Then spent hours and hours doing the one-off blog of Mr Starmer’s reaction to the disastrous local election result for Labour. I enjoyed doing that, but did not get it done until very late. And I was so tired again. Possibly, I thought I might get back to the Wednesday Social in the porta-cabin, if I got my head down?
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Snaps of the day
Bootifull!
Amazing skies
Accidental photo, Hehe!

Attempted wide shots, erm, failed.
Plates of meat status
A better effort
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Sorry, no Ode today. Just
A TALE OF WOE… Maybe later?
After removing the night bag, with only 500ml in it, and taking some photos, sorting the wast bins, having a wash, shave and shit, doing my teggies, and getting the dressing gown on… the
Catheter Flowback started again. And this time it was worse than the last two occasions.
Carer Rachid arrived and saw the pain and heard the bad language each time the stabbing, stinging pains hit me. I’ll call the nurses later to see if they can attend, too early in the day yet.

Rashid called again. I was in a lot of pain from the return of the Catheter flowback pains. He said he’ll phone for an ambulance. I explained that I’d called the District Nurses, who will be calling on me, so no need. Adding, if I go by ambulance, I’ll have another nine-hour wait in a corridor to be seen, and I didn’t fancy that again. He picked up the phone to dial 999. I said, “Do not use the landline; if you use your phone, any problems, they will phone you back, and then you’ll keep in touch with what is happening. He carried on using the landline. I made sure what to do when I took the phone, in case of it was not needed. The lady asked me to ring 999 to cancel. Which Rasid later did… on the landline. When he made his next call, the Nurse arrived. She got me on the bed, and he came leaning over me to see things. I asked for a bit of privacy. The procedure took a long time, and the Nurse handled it well. She got the tube out and showed me the black on the inner end of it, with a lot of gunk in it, like last time. Saying this can happen when we get older. So it might not be an infection. She asked Rachid to do a proper job of cleaning the testicle area. She is ordering some foam spray to clean the skin before applying the Barrier Cream. “You’ve made a right mess here.” That didn’t go down well! Inserting the new tube was almost painless; she first used a lot of the pain gel.

The Nurse took a urine sample to test for infection—the new pouch filled in seconds. The Urine was almost red. The only thing was, after she had gone. I found that the new pouch had a butterfly release valve. I’d stopped using them when I kept catching the clip and opening it. Peeing on my legs, slippers and on the carpet. Fingers crossed. Haha!

Photographs of the day
This one was taken when I woke during the night.
Why did I take these?
Anyone’s guess, Tsk!
Ah, the not-working Catheter.
The Catheter started working again seconds after, thanks to the nurses’ skills.
The Sun kept disappearing.
All-Starmer on the News.
The first flow after the initial torrent.
A bit bloody, as was anticipated.
A high shot here.
Seems the Sun was losing
the battle again. Lower down,
it was getting through.
But, another mystery here;
Why did the shot of it
not get on to the SD card?
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Despite being overjoyed at getting the Catheter agony removed, I am now feeling very queasy, and not at all like wanting to eat anything. Another Mystery of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind: which is now losing its few marbles it has left.
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The last late snaps…
Late sundown.
Late sundown, closer
Help was needed from the Carer to
get this one ready.
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All the regular pains returned later on.
The Ingrowing-Toenail-Titus, Back-Pain-Brenda, Lymphorea-Leslie, Colin-Cramps, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley, Kidney-Pains-Kitty, Fractured-Knee-Frank, Duodenal Donald, and even Anne Gyna threw in her pennorth of pain. But, with the memory of today’s chronic Catheter Flowback Pains, I almost welcomed the return of my regular ailment, which had been overshadowed by the more vicious, cruel Bladder-Blockage-Beryl agony that no medication could counter. Thank heavens the Nurse came. 🤎
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Inchie: Sunday 10th May 2026 – Election Reviews

In Memory of Kiers Barrister days
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Starmer’s “Giftgate” Scandals:
Clothing & Personal Support (Waheed Alli): £16,200 for “work clothing” and £2,485 for multiple pairs of glasses.
Accommodation (Waheed Alli): Over £20,000 for use of a London flat during the election campaign.
Football Hospitality:
Over £12,000 from the Premier League and tickets from clubs including Arsenal, Manchester City, and Tottenham.
Concert Tickets:
Four tickets with hospitality to see Taylor Swift at Wembley, valued at £4,000, gifted by the Premier League. But why?
Holidays:
A four-day family holiday to a Welsh beauty spot, valued at £4,500, Crownhawk Properties.
Racecourse & More:
Four box tickets for Epsom Downs racecourse valued at £3,716. Following the controversy, Starmer paid back costs for: Four Taylor Swift tickets (Universal Music Group, £2,800). Two tickets for the Euros Final (FA, £598).Four tickets to Doncaster Races (Arena Racing Corporation, £1,939).
Clothing rental and styling for his wife:
(Edeline Lee, £839). Note: This list is based on declared register of interests and reporting from September/October 2024.
Keir Starmer’s freebies:
Everything you need to know – Sky News Sept 2024 — Football tickets The Premier League is one of the biggest donors of hospitality, and Sir Keir – a renowned Arsenal fan – has received from sky.com. Plus one donation valued at £8,750 per game.
Keir Starmer declares more freebies than any other MP, 18 Sept 2024 — Catherine Neilan. Political Editor. Joe White. Senior Data Scientist. Keir Starmer has declared more than £120,000 worth of freebies: Starmer’s £120,000 in tickets and gifts.
Winter Fuel Payment Cuts:
The government’s decision to restrict the Winter Fuel Allowance for millions of pensioners caused significant backlash.
Policy U-Turns and Broken Pledges:
Critics often highlight his abandonment of earlier leadership pledges, such as the £28bn green investment plan, his reversal on tuition fees, and his support for nationalisation, which has led to multiple claims of dishonesty.
Economic Strategy:
The retention of the two-child benefit cap and accusations of promoting an “austerity” agenda rather than investment were criticised.
Handling of the Gaza Conflict:
His stance on Israel’s rights in the Gaza conflict was criticised as supporting “collective punishment,” sparking party dissent.
Ongoing Controversy:
The issue has been described by critics as a “two-tier” standard, following his past criticism of his predecessors’ expenses and perks.
No Respect:
Under his leadership, Jeremy Corbyn was expelled from the party. Labour made significant gains in the 2023 and 2024 local elections and won a landslide victory in the 2024 general election. After Starmer became Prime Minister, Sunak succeeded him as Leader of the Opposition.
Why is Starmer a millionaire?
Sir Keir Starmer’s wealth stems from a high-earning legal career as a leading human rights barrister and Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP), combined with property investments, capital gains, and parliamentary salaries. While some reports suggest a high net worth through property, he has disclosed that his income is primarily from salary and investments.
Starmer paying back £6,000 of bungs:
Now that he’s been caught out. This man is our Prime Minister? “Certainly not a man of integrity!”
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What took him so long to come out with a new lie?
Nothing new here then?
Not when you consider his past cock-ups from
The Rt Hon Sir Keir Starmer KCB KC MP TIT.
During his speech at the Labour Party conference on September 24, 2024, Prime Minister Keir Starmer mistakenly said he was calling for the “return of the sausages” instead of the “return of the hostages” while discussing the conflict in Gaza. The gaffe occurred during a speech about a ceasefire and the release of Israeli hostages held by Hamas.
Labour ministers, MPs and officials have expressed bafflement at the appearance of two veteran Labour figures. While both are respected by Labour MPs, their appointments have caused confusion about how figures from Labour’s past signify the change the prime minister has promised.
One normally loyal minister told the BBC: “It’s a joke. No question bringing these two old Labourites back is the answer.” A Labour MP said: “Not sure voters in Wigan, Wandsworth, Salford or Sunderland voted for Reform because they thought we needed more advisers from a different era of Labour politics. I think this shows that Keir doesn’t even understand the problem, never mind the solution.” And a former Labour adviser said: “Is his plan to combat the notion that he has no ideas, to just double down on that and bring in a load of other people to come up with ideas?”
Discontent over the election results is also spilling into the open, with up to 30 Labour MPs publicly calling for Sir Keir to resign or to set out the process for an orderly transition to new leadership.
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STARMERish JOKES & ONE-LINERS
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Starmer reads terms and conditions for fun.
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Keir doesn’t wing it. He drafts it.
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He doesn’t gossip. He verifies sources.
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Starmer proofreads text messages.
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Calm voice, strong punchline, lies a lot.
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Any Concerns, and he U-Turns…
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Sir Keir-ious mode activated.
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He edits memes for clarity.
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Calm, clueless & calculating.
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Barrister-like ace liar by omission.
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He’s unawfully, awfully legendary.
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He irons his manifesto & forgets it.
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Calm, commanding, & surreptitious.
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Keir Starmer answers questions so carefully that even Google asks him for clarification.
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When he takes a stance, it comes with a disclaimer.
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He never loses control. But occasionally, the point.
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He debates like he’s billing by the hour.
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His opinions come with footnotes.
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Starmer’s humour? Under investigation.
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His questions come with subpoenas of sarcasm.
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His hairstyle is more stable than the economy.
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Keir Starmer tried his best to write a joke about the law, but it was too binding.
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As of May 2026:
Keir Starmer has faced intense scrutiny and widespread criticism, leading to historically low approval ratings for a UK Prime Minister. Criticisms stem from the political spectrum, including his own party and the public.
Unprecedented Unpopularity:
Starmer’s approval ratings have fallen sharply, with reports in late 2025 showing a net rating of -46%, and comparisons suggesting he is the least popular Prime Minister in modern British history.
U-Turns and Lack of Principle:
A major criticism is his abandonment of pledges made during his leadership campaign, which has led to accusations that of lacks core principles and is untrustworthy.
Economic Policies and Austerity:
Critics argue his government has continued on a path of “economic constraint” and “fiscal responsibility,” including unpopular decisions such as failing to remove the two-child benefit cap and cutting winter fuel payments for pensioners. And tax hikes on all family farmers.
“Starmageddon” and Election Performance:
Following the 2024 election win, his leadership faced a massive backlash during local elections, with critics predicting “disastrous” results and high losses of seats, with some calling for a “reckoning”
Authoritarian Leadership Style:
His leadership has been described as “dictatorial,” with critics highlighting his and his team’s tight control over the party, including the suspension of MPs who voted against him.
“Empty” Vision and Poor Communication:
Critics, including supporters of the left-leaning faction of his party, argue that he has no clear vision for the country, is a “poor communicator,” and lacks charisma.
Donation and Transparency Concerns:
His and his party’s acceptance of significant donations from wealthy donors, such as Lord Waheed Alli, has led to accusations of hypocrisy regarding “sleaze” and corruption, particularly in light of early scandals.
Weak Position and Potential Leadership Challenges: Despite his large parliamentary majority, his position is seen as vulnerable, with speculation about potential challenges to his leadership from within his own party.
Foreign Policy and Diplomatic Stance:
His and his government’s stance on international issues, such as the conflict in Gaza and, in particular, his and his team’s comments about Donald Trump, have been criticised for weakening the UK’s international standing and causing diplomatic issues. Criticisms were highlighted in a variety of sources, including opinion pieces in The Guardian, discussions on Reddit, and The New Statesman.
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Key Aspects of Starmer’s Premiership
Approval Ratings:
By January 2026, Starmer reached a net satisfaction rating of -57, matching previous lows seen in 2024, with only 18% holding a favourable view.
Public Opinion:
He has been described by some critics as “unpopular” and, by focus groups, as a “jellyfish” or “doormat”.
Political Challenges:
His leadership faces pressure from within the Labour Party following poor election performances.
Policy Focus:
Early actions included ending the ban on onshore wind, setting up a National Wealth Fund, and outlining workers’ rights reforms.
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Inchie Today: Friday 8th April 2026

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Sorry, but today things got too much for me.

Topped up the food in the cupboard
In the fridge
Treats included this time
Favourite naughty nibbles

Things got on top of me. I lost or couldn’t find something at least 16 times, as I can recall.
Was with me in varying degrees all day.
Then, mid-morning, the stomach started rumbling; I started coughing and sneezing, and Trotsky Terence activated so often that I considered calling the nurses. The anticoagulatio… no that’s not right. Antidiarrheal capsules were consumed voraciously. Almost like Polo mints, or Rolos, once you open the packet. Haha!
In the morning, now… it starts all over again.

The nurse came to check the leg. I’d taken the strappings off, in hope of getting into my slippers, with the reluctant help of Carer Atilla. Cause I seem to be feeling the cold so much. But the leg was okay, much better. She signed me off, saying, “Call us if… no when it comes back.” I love a good sense of humour.

Actually got a call today from Carer Ejaz. How precious that was. Body checks, Porpain Gelling, Catheter contraption checked for comfort. Help with food preparation. All without having to remember to ask for them. And someone who listens to what I need or ask, not tells me what I want. Thank heavens he is off for two days now. Heavenly!

As the eyes faded in the afternoon, the Trots eased off a little but still kept coming, though nowhere near as often as earlier on. Trotsky Terence is back this morning, sprier than ever. But I’ve not been caught out… Smug-Mode-Adopted.

High white sky,
dark below.

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Ooops, the nosh…

Inchie Today: Thursday 7th May 2026

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Woke at 0635hrs. Took off the night Catheter bag, noting my aches and pains were minimal.
Then the summoning from the innards to get to the wet room and Porcelain Throne with all the alacrity I could muster arrived. So I did!
The first sitting proved to be a total failure; apart from escaping wind with each effort to start the evacuation, nothing else moved. Being as I was in the wetroom, I had a stand-up wash, did the teggies and had a shave. Just the one knick. And was much less painful.

I was certain that Constipation Conrad had me in his grip. I had the same thing three times over the next half-hour. I was telling the Carer about it and decided to take a Senna tablet to help move things along. Another ache in the stomach developed; I was sure it was Constipation Conrad, solidifying my waste in my rectal ampulla. I made my tea & breakfast. Feeling smug at taking the Senna, I bade the Carer farewell.
Minutes later, I felt the same rear-end and stomach feelings that I had before. Knowing full well that Senna tablets could not be affecting things so soon, I ambled to the wet room. Very luckily, I took off my dressing gown first.
But fear not, no floor, wall or furniture splashed!
It was me and the porcelain that coped with the liquid splash-backs. I made a mess on the floor, but that was only from bits of the one-and-a-half toilet rolls I used to clean myself up. I asked the Carer to Hoover the bits from the mats up for me. Found much later on my next trip to the Throne, they were still there. Maybe he didn’t understand my request or thought it wasn’t his job. Not earth-shattering. I managed to do it safely.

The computer had to be restarted twice more today. Restarting it took three tries each time.
Fed-upperness dawned.

I think the flowering shrubs around the flats are so beautiful. The Nurse who came later thought they might be called Spirea? I certainly have no idea. Being born into brickwork, a massive London Line railway viaduct, not a garden in sight. Outside loos and coalhouses. A tin bath hanging on the soot-covered brick viaduct wall didn’t help my education or understanding of plants. But I love these.

Two medics, one a nurse, came in the afternoon to give me my Covid shot. Nice couple.

The clouds looked even prettier to me today.
Now, we did have clouds in my young days in the bricks, railway viaducts and high-rise station. The cobblestoned streets were for the horses’ safety on the ice.
But our views of the sky from Brookfield Place, a terrace of six British Railway 2-up-two down houses, were limited. The height of the viaduct, much higher than the houses, limited the view.
I keep getting flashbacks. I can’t say I was happy back then… but I just accepted that that was how things were. Like scrounging food or 2/- from a neighbour for Mam. Having no TV. I was amazed when I saw that the next-door neighbours had not only a TV but also a gramophone, a telephone, a refrigerator, and a hot-water geyser.
Although I’m certainly not happy with life today.

Catching this snap brought to mind One Man & His Dog, although I had to look up where I’d heard of it before. Oh, yes… It was a BBC programme series about a Shepherd and his dog and Sheepdog trial. 1977, I think.
There goes another flashback!

A fellow blogger told me that Pluto TV were showing the original Mission Impossible series on TV. I looked at the channels available on Virgin, getting all excited about watching them again. But Pluto was not on the list. I almost cried! Hahaha!

I managed a couple of teatime shots of the sky, clouds, and sun. I’ve never known the sun to be hidden so quickly by the clouds. The darkness lightened a little later?
Flashback due…
Reverend Salmon, 1956ish. Telling our Boys’ Brigade Company that when the Lord returns, the world will go dark, yet the sun will shine. Now, did I dream this? Where did it come from? How the Hell could I remember it if it did happen? How come I’ve never thought about it before?
And another thing: I forgot to publish the blog today. I emailed a request for the Doctor and sent it to the District Nurses! I lost my reading glasses, can opener, TV remote and forgot about the Doctor’s appointment. That is, of course, up to now, plenty of time for me to make more .

Then I found I’d made another cock-up. I came across the meal snap from last night and feel I didn’t put it on the blog for yesterday… or did I? I’ll check later.

Waiting for the same last Carer to arrive. Hard work.
Makes me nervous, actually. And the company have made this Carer my regular one.
My bad, someone else’s good.

The meal, prepared before his arrival, was potato and vegetable soup with extra spuds, seasoned with a drop of teriyaki sauce. Two bread rolls for dipping.

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Inchie Today: Wednesday 6th May 2026

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06:25hrs: I clambered out of the second-hand Charity shop and bought a £300 broken-down, tube-crunching, dried blood-covered, grotty, dirty, creaking, not working, falling-to-pieces recliner.
Removed the night pouch, passed an enormously loud and long passage of wind from my rear-end, and made my way to the Porcelain Throne. I had four visits today, all the same Trotsky Terence style.
Sorted the waste bins into one large bag, and hastened back to the Porcelain Throne with a little worrying if I’d make it in time… only just!
Then did my teggies, as the need for a mug of tea arose. Into the kitchenette, got the kettle on the boil, and made a drink. A Glengettie and Tetley half-cup bags. Nice and strong. Just a splash of full cream milk, and I enjoyed drinking it while I sat there, basking in the few lingering thoughts that were available, and took a snap of the balcony. No threatening sunshine this morning, so I could open the curtains a bit.
A third Throne-Calling had me back in the wet-room on the WC. A little messier this time.
The Carer arrived. Issued the medications. Asked if I wanted a drink of anything to eat, I asked for some cornflakes, explaining I now have a morning nibble. Flakes then bikkies alternate days. I would not risk asking him to make a brew after yesterday’s effort. He got on his mobile.
Shown him where the flakes and milk were, asking him not to put too much milk in the bowl. He drowned the few cornflakes completely. Soggy, inedible. I took a snap of underneath the Carer’s desk.
Later, I took snaps of the wonderful-looking clouds.
The sunshine is making its way over the hills behind the flats.

Then, I had two short, I think mini seizures that I was aware of; they seemed very short to me. I was recovering from the first one when a second hit me. I’ve never had that before. Recovering took me yonks.
I reckon it took me a good half-hour before I was prepared to risk standing up again. And then, I very nearly went over. So glad I thought to use two sticks when I first moved.
I’m not certain about the timings. But it seemed to go by in a flash, from Ejaz leaving to his noon return.
Embarrassingly, I got confused about the Carer Rota Jenny prepared for me. I think Tuesday was for laundry when it used to be Wednesday. Mizra said it was not Tuesday. And started cleaning up and doing a good job for me. Naturally, I thought it must be Wednesday. Ejaz said no, not him anyway. Then Jenny called to explain. But I didn’t grasp things for ages. There is another call half an hour later, which must be for the laundry. Ah, well, I did feel a fool.
Well, let’s face it… I am.

A new-to-me Carer arrived. She took the laundry down, and I phoned Jenny to let her know.
Sandithi returned, checked the Catheter, and had a look at the legs.
Then I told her about the brush & dustpan set from Amazon that had been delivered, but the dustpan was broken. Made in China, wished I’d known. She helped me try to reach the Amazon Helpdesk. As with all Oligarch companies, they make it near impossible and keep telling us to go to the supplier. So we tried, and when we got through, a message told us that Amazon had delivered the parcel and that we needed to go to their helpdesk… round and round, not getting anywhere. We were determined not to give up.
We kept trying different routes, but kept ending up at the same place: contact the supplier. Who repeated. Contact the Amazon helpline or customer service about the problem.
Then we gave up!

She then tried to get a slipper on the undbandaged foot, as it looked less swollen. But it wasn’t, it had just lost the bronze colouring of the last week.

I was still not grasping things properly. And went to take some sky photographs through the kitchen windows. Beautiful!
No strong sunshine got through today, not that it bothered me.

I was going into a depression. As Carer Ejaz arrived on his one visit. I tried to explain and apologise for being my usual self. He did his best to cheer me up. Also got me to write an Email and helped me when he saw I was struggling, to Easy Link. To get a list for Friday, the 15th, for the Audio Centre. Bless him. I made a start on a meal and have it early, so the Carer is not here when I’m eating.

What followed is a mystery to me. Why?
I got up in the morning, thinking I’d already done, finished, pasted and emailed the link to this blog.
Now Thursday 7th May, 13:40, and after a morning of smuggly thinking that I was doing so well today, I discovered I had not done this one yet. I think that my verbal denigration, self-loathing, name-calling and naughty language shook the Carer somewhat as he was helping himself to an ice cream cone. But at least he did ask me if I wanted one. Hehe!

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Inchie: Tuesday 5th May 2026

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Carer Mizra called the chemist to cancel the COVID-19 inoculation. Then he called the Audio Centre and made a pro tem appointment for me. I’ll have to pay for the lost hearing aids, naturally. They were only ever on loan from the NHS in the first place (1982). Hoping that it’s not going to be too expensive. Mizra speed-mopped the kitchen for me. Thank you. The INR gal vampire came for the Warfarin & Renal blood taking.

COMPUTER PROBLEMS
I tried twice to get it to load, but nope! Sulked a while and made a brew of tea, and went back to try again. And it got this far…
Thought I’d wait a little longer.
Drank the n made another brew. Emptied and sorted the waste bin bags. Went to the toilet, a long, messy job. Then, I returned to see this screen appear.
Nothing changed, and after half an hour, I started looking for the computer man’s number. I could not find it, but Mizra has it, I’m sure. Turned everything off and got a text message from the bank about an important email they had sent.
Had to try once again to get the computer on.
Luv-a-ducks! It came on!?!?
I got into the email, but could not find any email from the bank, only old ones. The text had a link… part of a scam, mayhaps? I went on the text on the phone to read it again… Mystery! It was not there. Either I had deleted it… or it was a self-destruct con-job? Haha!
Do you remember the TV series?
“This tape will self-destruct in five (ten) seconds.
Good luck, [Dan/Jim].”
I wish they would show them again; they were the epitome of corny, but I liked them.
Love it when the good guys win.
Morning shot.
As the right leg gets better,
the left leg gets worse.
Morning snaps.
Meal. 7¼/10
Evening dawns.
FOOD ADVICE
For anyone purchasing Morrison’s ‘Sweet Vine-ripened Tomatoes’ in May. As long as you appreciate the utter tastelessness and lack of juice, they’re fine.
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Inchie: 16th February, 2016
George Street in Nottingham City Centre. He used to walk to here from his flat in Sherwood and back again after shopping. Of course, you have to remember that back then, he was still alive. Hehehe! He loved a long walk, and hobbled through his beloved Tree Copse on route there and back to his cell (flat).
The persistent rain kept so many others indoors. Now, it is Inchie that is stuck indoors. This year he has left his flat a good many times; Shopping with Carer (2), Computer shop for help with Carer (2), QMC hospital (6), City Hospital (1), Highbury (2) with Carer, Dentist with Carer (2), Opticians with Carer (1), Diabetes Program Meeting (2) 1 (alone), 1 with Carer, Audio (Hearing aid) Centre, with Carer (2), and the Neurologist (1) alone, the Carer nor lift were not available. He was lifted there, for only £9, but no lift available to get back. That was the day of disasters, if you recall. He had a seizure as he left the building, got lost and had to ask the way to the tram station. The tram had people squished like in a can of sardines when it arrived. It was getting dark. He got on the tram with his three-wheeled walker, condensed as far as he could. As the tram pulled away, he lost his balance and fell over.
Luckily, there was not enough room for him to fall flat on the floor. People around him helped him to his feet, and a passenger stood and offered him her seat. That was so kind and will always be remembered.
Got off in the City Centre, and was threatened jbed and tormented by a gang of youths, yobboes, when he asked them to let him through… and they would not, so he had to walk on the tram lines to get over the road.
Up Queen Street to the bus stop, and had another mini-seizure. He was confused to see that 40x buses were all that was on the timetable. Thinking, well, the same number, they must go to the flats. He got on and took a seat. All is going well now. He recalled working out a possible problem that may present itself as the bus turns down to Winchester Street; he could see nothing out of the windows, too dark. So thought as he felt the bus turning right, that would be the vehicle turning into where the flats are. Sure enough, he sensed the right turn motion and pressed the next stop bell.
It was another surprise to the lad when he realised that the bus had not stopped at his flats and had dropped him off in Sherwood, on Mansfield Road.
He crossed over the road with plans to catch another 40x bus up to near the flats and hobble down to them.
But this is Inchie we are talking about. Nothing ever goes right for him since 1966.
He realised he had no money for the bus trip right up the second-steepest hill in Nottingham, to get home.
No option left, he had to walk all the way up, which he did. Stopping at least a dozen times to let the Anne Gyna pains calm down and catch his breath.
Then, as he neared the top of the steep bit, his mobile chirrupped into life. No lights on this stretch of the road, cracked pavements, bits of branches, twigs, browned and green leaves, dog-poo, and even a used Durex. He knows this because it is where he dropped his mobile and had to dig into the ground to find it! Eventually finding it, still ringing. It was Carer Ejaz who was in his flat waiting for him.
This Tale Of Woe is Authentic.
Since moving into the flats, his life has taken a turn for the worse. A selection of new ailments since arriving includes Glaucoma, another cataract, Renal problems not yet clarified. Fractured Knee Frank, Heart Failure Felicity, Sandra’s Seizures, Little Inchies Fungal lesion bleeding, Earache Erasmus Lymphorrea Leslie, Premorbid Cognitive Impairment, Bladder Infection Iris, and Shoulder-Shuddering-Shirely
On the bright side… erm… er…
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Inchie Today: Monday 4th May 2026

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TTFNski!
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Inchie: Sunday 3rd May 2026

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Truth funnelled, forwarded, trajected,
Honesty, metamorphosed, transubstantiated,
Wars… innocents bombed, killed, tribulated,
Innocent victims, civilians mutilated,
Violence, greed, jealousy, all unaborted…
Hatred: unabrogated, but gets repeated,
East, West, Euro… egos inflated,
Untouchable Oligarchs – unintimidated,
Our planet is now less oxygenated,
Dead dying Proletriats go unnoticed,
UK NHS, crumbling, unorchestrated,
Many Middle East canals unnavigated,
Fears mount, Solutions unlocated,
Crooked Politicians, uninvestigated,
Promises are all unimplemented,
No HMG copy books unblotted…
It seems peace is now unpermitted?
Hope? untranslated, untransmitted,
Hope? It’s totally unmerited…
Warmongers go uncensored,
Their killing goes on unobstructed,
Doing what they want, unaborted,
Hopes for peace? Still ungerminated.
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Short one, sorry.

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Inchie Today: Fri/Sat 1st-2nd May 2026

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Woke up feeling fairly good, and got the kitchen floor mopped. Straight after finishing this, I got a stand-up wash, shave, teeth, and medicalised where I could reach. Then into the front room to sort the bins into one bag…
DARNED TROTSKY TORRENTS DIAHORREA
For the whole day & most of the night!
First Call: The torrent came as I was standing up to go to the Porcelain Throne. Mess number one.
Second Call: Five minutes after getting back to the room and taking an antidiarrhea pill.
Mess number Two: At least I didn’t have to hand-wash my clothes this time, but the floor, porcelain legs, foot and lid needed attention.
Third Call, at least I made it in time. More liquid than ever. I thought things might be getting calmer.
Fourth Call: As Carer was here. No spillages, but the stomach started to rumble and grumble, and I faded.
I decided to just sit down and not do anything else, but I did not want to fall asleep in case of another splurge came while in the land of nod. Also, I had a food order on the way. that I did not put the time of on the calendar.
The Nurse arrived to rebandage the leg. Seconds after she left, off to the Porcelain Throne again.
Fifth Call: Un-Rotton-believable! I cannot understand or know why this particular orgy of foul-smelling, all-but-liquid excrement lasted so long. How was all that still in by innards after four lengthy evacuations? No wonder I had suffered from stomachache permanently. How is this possible?
I wouldn’t say I felt actually poorly, as such.
Tired out, with aches and pains, and, to make things that little bit more uncomfortable, I had to put on the large protection pants to help catch any early escapes from the rear end. Thus, hurting Little Inchy as the pants trapped the tube in the Catheter, and the fugal lesion started bleeding.
Sixth Call: I was convinced things were beginning to ease off this time. Same liquid structure, but just one spurt, and it was all over.
Seventh Call: Obviously, I was wrong. This noon visit was yet another Trotsky Terence Torrent.

Each of the first 12 or so visits to the Porcelain Throne meant pain, cleaning up the wet room, and painful medicationings. I was growing weaker as the day dragged on. I gave up counting them here.
At a guess, 10 more followed up to 17:30 hours, and heavenly peace prevailed!
But I was incapable of concentrating, all I wanted to do was stay awake for the food delivery, sort it, and get myself some sleep… Please!
I began to think that I may not have ordered one after all. Yes, hard to believe I could forget something, I know. (Sarcasm Crept In?)

The food arrived at 19:30hrs,

Got it stored away, and realised that in all the time taken, I’d not had a call to the Porcelain Throne!

The dream of sleeping became a reality.
At least a possibility,
But it became a futility…
I got in bed, feeling so sleepy…
Off to the Porcelain Throne for me,
Diahorrea; will I ever be free?

Yet another visit, I made it in time. Still, I dare not get back in bed, so set myself down in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. Where I had to get up from another half-dozen times in the night.

Not one of my best days.
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Slightly eerie morning?
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Through the balcony windows
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Straight ahead from the kitchen window. With the sun coming up from the rear left.
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To the left, a little bit of sunshine on the right.
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Slightly to the right. My much-missed daily walking through the tree copse. New pathway up the hill to the right of the battered but beautiful trees. coppice. Ah, so sad.
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To the left again. I was trying to snap the police helicopter, but by the time I was ready, it had gone or landed in pursuit of some low-life.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Moody view taken later on by Carer Ejaz, of the front car park on Citrus Way.
While I was busy on the Porcelain Throne.
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Memory Photographs
Taken from my flat window in 2018 during the modernisation of Winwood Heights. Consisting of Winchester Court, Winwood Court, & my Woodthorpe ~~Prison~~… Court.
Taken in 2009.
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Due to my getting Carer Ejaz & Carer Mizra calling on me. They were sorely missed.
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