
WELL, I’VE COCKED-UP AGAIN
I’ll do my best, but things don’t look good for having time to write a blog on Wednesday. I’ll try to find time for an Ode, if you don’t mind.
I AM A FOOL!
TFN, Sorry.
Old, sick, weary, but harmless. I need to make others smile!

WELL, I’VE COCKED-UP AGAIN
I’ll do my best, but things don’t look good for having time to write a blog on Wednesday. I’ll try to find time for an Ode, if you don’t mind.
I AM A FOOL!
TFN, Sorry.
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Woke at 06:50hrs. Fought a battle with my reluctance and unwillingness to get up. Won it at 07:00hrs, and removed the catheter night
It seemed a smidge
I got the computer on and around 09:30hrs, I rang the Repairs number, but stopped, it may be better to ring ILC (Independent Living Coordinator).
Oberstgrüppenführeress, Warden and Primo Ballerina, Deana first. On answerphone.
Updated some numbers in MS Word.
Tried the 5555 number and got AI. Pressed this for, that for, and 3 for, but couldn’t tell which was which. Then I rang the 2222 number. And got AI, with press this fir, and that for, and 3 for, but could not hear which was for which. I gave up and tried ringing Warden Deana again. Got through. Busy but will pop up to take a look.
Got the floor mats out and covered them with towels to help them dry. Went back and mopped up some water; it seems to be coming from the drain hole.
Wardens Deana & Julie arrived to investigate the leak problem. They will call the Maintenance for me and let me know the result. The dressing dropped off the arm wound, and I replaced it with a Heath Robison affair.
Which fell off ten minutes later. Determined to get it covered, I tried again. Wound cover, with tape at the top and bottom of the patch.
On the computer. For 14 minutes, the dressing dropped off again. This time I was getting short of plasters, gauze and tape. So, I used several small plasters to put on top… We’ll see how that goes.
Made a brew, and back on the computer. I’m so far behind now, I feel self-annoyed…. if that’s the correct terminology?
Carer called, and I told him the tale of the flood. Painkillers, nobody checks for yet another day. I’m hoping to get a shower and shave, which would wash off the creams, lotions, and foams. But only if the flooding doesn’t start again. If that starts, I’ll be in danger of slipping and taking a tumble. I bade my bad English understanding, but okay, Carer, a good day.
Back to updating yesterday’s blog – at long last, and it is already nearly 13:0hrs. Getting today started is questionable. However! I believe that waking up to the floods, then the arm wound kerfuffle getting it redressed, then so soon the leak was fixed, then I managed to get a dressing to stay on the arm; Small gains to some, a miracle to me. Thus, I am now even further behind than ever, but am singing away and seeing the funny side of everything… Why? High-Mood-Horis has been activated! Fanbloodytastic!
No info about the leak has arrived, 6 hours later. But I keep checking to see if it has started again. I’ll do it now… all clear, looking okay.
Back to the blogging. Got yesterdays done and sent… talking about scent, I will be so glad to get a wash & shave, it’s been that long I might not be able to find the wetroom. Hehehe! Phew, or rather phoo!
I perhaps had a mini-seizure just now. The acid reflux I just smelt and tasted is an indication. No memory, of course, but I see that I conveniently wrote the time on this blog. It is now, as I sit here waiting for the after effects to die down, 16:50hrs. A Carer might be calling soon; I don’t want to be out of sync when they do.
I’m not going to move until I am sure the balance is okay. It should only take a few minutes max. I’m waffling again. And at the same time, I was talking to myself, non-stop. Didn’t like the answers I got.
Back to save the stuff on the computer for closing down, and the mobile flashed once and beeped once. A text had arrived. It was from the NCC Maintenance
But, give me time!
I vaguely recall a few moments of, erm, er… reflection… no. Remeniscing? No. I feel like a fool again here. When I started this passage, I knew how I felt: I was moved by something this view inspired. I’ve been looking at the photo, hoping to recall, but no.
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🖖🏻 Go Forth & Prosper! 🖖🏻
🎅🏻But Please Have Some Fun 🎅🏻
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PEACE PLEASE… PEACE!
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He issued the medications, hoovered up the carpet and
So I took two more photos to see the difference within a few minutes.
I got on the computer to do the Ode, and got carried away, yet again, with the word-list recovery… then, the computer froze on me.
Should I risk unplugging everything and try starting again, or give it a while to see if it starts on its own? I can’t honestly say if I did or didn’t shut it down or wait… sounds complicated, doesn’t it, well, to me. I’ll tell yers why… I went into another seizure (I’ve been having a few more this last week), and I think it was a long one. Cause when I came out of it, firstly, the acid reflux was very mild; as the longer ones seem to be. Secondly, as my grip on reality – well, as much as I’ll ever get, returned, I realised the computer was working again! It took me a while to absorb what had taken place, but I do think I’d moved some graphics around on the page… But there’s no certainty in my state of mental health.
(Sympathy-Seeking again? Hahaha!
It wasn’t as good as I wanted. A gentle rainbow is what I called it.
What an absolutely fascinating expression on Silver’s face! The cool, laid-back casuak lolling. The warning from the eyes… posing with an almost threatening look at the camera operator, Tim, but no fear shown. Bootifull!
Oh, I missed this snap of sky that I took earlier, glad I realised I’d missed it, cause I think this one was one of my better efforts. Well, not really, just that the sky
Hehehe!
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I sense that tomorrow will start off badly,
Much self-flagellating, from gaiety to negativity,
Not that I’ve got insight or sapiency,
But I know it’s true, believe me…
It’s Monday night, as I write this, you see?
And still in need of logicality & sentiency!
And I write Odes, anacoluthically,
I must face reality even if hypothetically!
TTFN Each I Fank You!
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Today’s events did me no good, and I’ve been drifting off from anything I started. Often, I don’t get back to finish them. So much happened today. If you don’t mind, I’ll just mention the important stuff and anything prompted by the photos taken. Sunday was worse for the mind-wandering; I thought today was bad enough. I’ll try to get it done & posted before midnight. If I don’t leave reality again. I hope to get it done, then decide whether I have time to start on Sunday’s blank blog. Ho, better get some sleep, this is getting ridiculous. Tsk!
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I’d been asleep when the Carer rang the intercom. I admitted him on the panel, and went to get the kettle on. I was a smidge off balance and confused with waking and getting u[ far yoo soon, before getting my balance. But thought I’d cope, I’ve had it worse than this… The next thing I remember…
Carer Ejaz was lugging me into the front room and the aged, grotty-looking, c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. A mild taste of the acrid stink coming up into my mouth was not at first realised, and I wondered what the heck had happened. Ejaz explained it to me graphically. Then wrote some notes for me to use, realising I may not recall what he’s told me. Ejaz was standing behind me as I went to put the used teabags in the waste bin on the door handle. He saw me going down and fitting my head on the door. Said I just went down rather slowly, and he, like a shot, got me into the other room and the recliner.
He’s Saved The Day Again!
I’d be lost without Ejaz, no doubt.
But the rest of the day was iffy, I think. Good job, I took a few snaps, even if only from the windows.
Wandered off the blog and onto the word listing again!
My Glaucoma-affected eye started doing some visual gynastics, and I could not use the computer, RV or read for two hours or so. During this period, I tried to make a mug of tea… Yes, I dropped the just-filled mug on me and the floor. I’ll beg whoever calls next to help me clean it up. I forgot, and the stains are still there in the kitchen now (Sunday night). Humph!
Then I went to the Porcelain Throne and walloped my shoulder on the wdgw of the door. I’ll try to explain quickly what my vision was like in the bad eye.
It was mostly the same of before, but then I started getting ghostly, big floaters, joined by the regular black, spidery ones, with moments of no vision at all. I had a couple of times when everything seemed to have a runny custard going or coming down. I’m so glad I’ve got a lift to the EENT appointment on Thursday. This is due to Carer Ejaz again, and they have reduced his calls dramatically during the week. Spit!
4-Plumbers arrived to search for the cause of the leak that was flooding the flats below. I was not up to much yet after the near tumble-seizure. I left them looking at the kitchen, the airing cupboard and the wet room. A bit of banging and drilling was heard, and I thought this did not bode well. Eventually they showed up in the room, told me I had the all-clear, and shot off. Or was this yesterday? Anyway, I went into the bathroom and…
Number Two Whoopsie, in order of severity
But the good news is that Trotsky Terence was less acute than usual, thus the mess was far less messy!
Unfortunately, as I bent down to retrieve the escaped-of-its-own-accord little semi-soft torpedo, my spectacles dropped of my head, and I got the dizzies, and sat down on the seat hastily… I felt and heard the glasses and frame cracking as I trod on them!
Not a good day.
Then again, when are they?
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Smile & the World Smiles with You… Huh!
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This has to be coped with, I know this.
It’s possible to accept these daily trials, because I also know there is no way of changing things. Docile-Subserviency is my only defence, well, it’s not even that really. There is no protection, no shield from lousy luck. One option, I suppose, is to go crazy… mind you, I’m on my way there now.
You could not write a fictional diary with so much bad luck as I suffer diurnally in real life. There’s an element of humour within this tale of woe. I can’t find it yet, thought. But it’s there, maybe conjured from within my watered brain, Dementia Doreen, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, or my previously famed resistance to depression. But of course, I can ask them for guidance, but getting a reply is a bit hopeful. Hehe!
However, silly as it may sound, I think there is a better chance of getting an answer from these ailments than from Social Services. I was going to get help with the wheelchair problems, my computer problems, my financial problems, water on the brain problems and Neurological assessment and treatments… none have arrived yet. Still, I may live long enough for just the odd one to come? Which one would I like it to be?
Erm… well, perhaps, or not, maybe… anyone would be of help. Chances of getting any? Zilch comes to mind. But, you never know, I might get surprised?
On the other hand, my recent medical history says none, with a loud inner voice. Shame!
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Woke at 04:55hrs. Night bag removed, and into the wetroom for a stand-up body scrum, teggies, a shave, this did not take place, then some
The second was better.
I was tickled pink when the computer came on again and had a visit from
Was I bothered at the time? Nope! I regretted it in the morning when I realised I had done absolutely nothing on this blog and had to start from scratch. Yet I thought I had made a start? I suppose I can blame
Carer gave me my medications, rubbed some pain gel in the right knee and was off, bless him.
saw the state of my left arm, and proceeded in a no-nonsense manner to pick out the dried blood and lymph blobules, clean it and put a plaster on. Telling me (with a smile), she had not come to do this, just your leg. Then she moved onto the leg; whipped off the diabetic strapping, pulled down the under-sock, and removed the blood-soaked plaster, cleaned it and put a new plaster over it. I thanked her and off she went on her rounds. I bade her farewell.
This is when
This Is Spunk
A New Mexico resident who dwells with a large clowder of cats. Don’t let the cute expression fool you. He is the leader of the group and his paperatzzi owner, Tim. No doubting it, he’s a handsome one. Although please don’t tell other furries that I said so. Hehe! 😹🤎
That was after going through the whole packet of chips, especially selecting the small ones that would cook faster, as hunger was starting to get the best of me. I knew I’d just got to run a sweep of the computer with CCleaner and thought they would be nearly ready by the time I finished, about 12 minutes.
But no, of course not.
Had me deciding to do a few minutes of the word-
I took the tray of, shall we say, singed chips out and photographed it. The Carer didn’t notice the smell, which amazed me. Medications were issued.
I missed the chips naturally, but was pleased that the makeshift meal tasted good.
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TTFN
Thanks mainly to my ailment
a go at me. However, this was a good thing! It ensured that I could get up in time to have a good scrub-up in the wet room before a Carer called, without rushing. Good idea? It did not work out. I got to the wet room, carrying out the traditional clouting ly my shoulder on the door frame, setting off
Having failed in my rescue operation, I tried again. And
Ah, well, you can’t win them all. I’ve done better. Then again, I’ve also done much worse efforts. Haha!
Carer arrived, and I think I had a seizure, but did not record it cause I’m not certain. For some reason, I can’t recall much of this visit, which is why I assume I might have had a mini seizure, but no acid tastes were coming up from the guts into my mouth.
Made a brew, and got back onto building of the new replacement word list.
The second Carer call of the day, painkillers only taken, as this was when I realised that I’d not yet washed & shaved. Tsk!
The first is to the left, toward the city.
But it was the television that had either been left on or it came on of its own
I Don’t Recall This Happening Before…
But, knowing me, it may have.
The innards summoned me back to the Procelain Throne, compliantly responded.
Settled as comfortably as I could on the plastic seat lid and waited for the contents to start their evacuation. The last thing I recall was feeling the slow buildup as it made its way out of my rear end… Zzz!
As I woke up,
It was a Carer, I’d fallen asleep on the toilet seat for three hours! Don’t laugh! Oh, go on then.
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PEACE & REST, TO YOU ALL – MY BEST
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I hate every bloody Wednesday!
Often no time to do the laundry,
Nurses call, each one is in a hurry,
But they keep their appealing attractancy,
Concentration gone, Inchy reacts abstractedly,
Getting the cleaning done? It’s chancy,
High-Mood-Horis is an absentee,
Doctor’s appointment is set for next Tuesday.
And the hospital, EENT, for the 6th of January,
Nowt heard from neurology, it’s all a mystery,
Text from Doctor, I’m to visit the surgery…
Date given? 10th December, that’s today!
No wonder Darius had such an extended stay!
I wanted help, felt the need to pray…
Phoned Virgin about the remote for the TV,
Well, Carer Ejaz did, it wasn’t me…
He’s a gift, an Angel, a treasure to Inchie,
Carer rang off, spitting blood, aggravatedly,
At customer service, they lack any ability,
They wanted me to send a photographic ID!
My bank number, why, I couldn’t see…
They’d my number, password and word in memory,
We both felt we’d floated into an ethereality,
The man on the line showed aduncity…
Uncaringness, superiority, and asperity,
No affinity or affability, he oozed adversity,
Why did he want my card number? Baloney!
I related this to Trustpilot immediately,
Virgins’ Trust Rating was just 1.3…
Tried again to phone the Doctor in Neurology,
To tell him I’d got Peripheral Neuropathy,
“We only work Monday, Tuesday & Thursday,
That’s what the AI thingy told me today,
I mopped the kitchen while Ejaz did the laundry,
The bending made me go off balance & dizzy,
Had to order Catheters to catch my pee,
Tried to ring the Cardiac Surgery,
In an effort to be sure and guarantee…
My next appointment was on the 1st of January,
Depressed, miserable, and feeling poorly,
I need a miracle, or even a hopeful epiphany,
I’m moaning; Heaven may hear my plea…
Whatever will they put in my elegy?
I ask this cause I’m running out of energy,
“He came, He failed, then left feeling empty,
He was in agony, and also self-angry,
Confused, and rightly felt ashamedly,
Aged, now considered to be curmudgeonly…
Self-fault-finding, grumpy & grouchy…
Cantankerous, querulous, and crotchety,
Only Carers & Nurses visit Inchie…
Ambulances take him away occasionally,
Iceland, Asda, Ocado, with a food delivery,
He’s never been accused of being unfriendly…
Although he has been a détraquée.
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Hectic, without my Carer I’d have lost in a mind of confusion and uncompleted tasks.
In the morning, I deleted all of the photos on Kodak Tim 2, thinking I’d already put them in the WordPress gallery – I hadn’t!
Not a lot then…
What a clot!
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Then the stabbing pains returned as
I had to remove the nocturnal catheter pouch first, so as not to tempt fate by walking around with four feet of tube and carrying the pouch. Thus reducing the chances of yet another
Not as sloppy as things have been for the past few days. It started the moment I was seated… it came, and came, and came again. I tried to recall what I had for dinner last night, but my brain was temporarily out of order. And stayed that way all day. And
It was as bad as he’s been in months; this bothered and hindered me all day long. That said, it cleared a little around 20:30hrs, and I took advantage to start updating this blog. Another hectic day for the old man!
A week before being sent back to my cell… I mean, flat, a Doctor came to the bed I was in with a smile on his face. “Well, we resuscitated you…” I must have looked gobsmacked, I was. “You had heart failure… can you not remember?” No! I wondered if he’d come to the wrong bed? No memories of leaving the ward at all.
The help from the social, half promised in the form of finances, a computer, arithmaphobia, and housekeeping didn’t arrive either.
That’s another thing, no help with the depression.
It took me 3 weeks after I’d lost vision in my left eye to get to the optician for an assessment and for him to refer me to the QMC EENT of an evaluation. I believed it was Glaucoma. Why? I’ll tell you…
When I had the cataract done on my right eye, the surgeon told me I had Glaucoma coming in my left eye. Once you’re over this, we’ll get you booked in for treatment. That was four years ago. So, naturally, I assumed the sudden lack of vision in my left eye was caused by Glaucoma. But, no. The optician said it was cataracts and referred me to the EENT clinic for acceptance. Three weeks later, I got a letter telling me I had been added to the waiting list. If I haven’t heard from them in five weeks, ring them.
Since coming out of the last extended stay in the Hospital after a tumble, I’ve had two more. But they were only visits to the Hospital, no staying in. Last Sunday, I took a tumble. I think a Carer rang the Community nurses. They said someone will call later today, or on Monday morning. A nurse arrived today, Tuesday. I believe that the impaired vision, my now being one-eyed, is making my balance worse, and I’m bumping into more things now. Just thought I’d update you. Hehe! Sorry.
The Carer arrived late today, not that I noticed at the time, I’d got stuck into making up the replacement word list. Why? I don’t know, honestly. Yet guilt may have hit me a few times, and I did try to get some jobs done. But did not start the blog until late. It is now well past midnight, and I’ve still got some company.
Chestnuts, sourdough sliced bread, Cheesecakes,
BBW skewers and some mini pork pies.
Swiss Rolls; Nothing but the best, they may be the
I pressed on in a depression, building my new word list. If I can live another twenty years, I might get it done to see me to the magic 100. Hahaha!
I got a phone call, but the line was bad again. It was the Doctor’s surgery, where I was told my INR level had risen but was still within range. Adding to keep to the last Anticoagulation DVT Warfarin Clinic dosage until December 22nd. Any new bruising (When have I ever got any new bruising?) I’ve to report it. I forgot to ask who I had to report it to.
The intercom rang forth: “Hello, hello… what now?” It is not the Carer’s time yet? It was the contract nurse who came to take my blood.
Back to the slow, oh, so slowly being done word list.
I feared the worst (with my luck, it’s only natural). Despondent, I turned off the computer to give it a rest, while O prayed and made a mug of tea.
Including the yoghurts – two burst open and left me a right mess for me to clean up. Grrr!
A painful task with all the bending to get at the dessert that had seemingly made a beeline for the corners to run into, and between the cabinet and the cooker. Still, I wasn’t bothered.
Back to the computer and restarted it, fingers crossed.
Well, it opened, but rather slowly. I opened Excel, then Word; these programmes were even slower in loading. So I used CCleaner and found out the price is going up by 20%. I blame Starmer!
Then I used Norton to clean it again… Well, fancy that. Their costs are rising, and to keep using the cleaner bit on it, I have to pay from now on!
My eyes, well, eye was feeling the strain of so long on the computer,
Then I opened CorelDraw, and while it was open, I tried to upload the pictures from Kodak Tim 2. Which went okay. After importing them, whenever I moved one, CorelDraw left a duplicate. This left me more depressed than ever. I turned of CorelDraw.
ARRGH! A Second Food Delivery!
Back to the computer, and the Google browser kept closing down of its own accord. All off, and rebooted. Getting nervous now.
I took a break and thought I’d get the cheeses out of the fridge (Carefully) and plan tonight’s meal. I say
The Extra Mature cheddar was nothing of the sort. The Stilton was super, as was the sourdough bread.
The Polish tomatoes were tastier.
It is now about 03:30hrs, I’ll put the pots in the sink and get down in the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner, and get some sleep.
I felt a warm trickling inside of the right leg strappings. No doubt the fluid was coming from dear old
TTFN
– ODE CANCELLED-
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BLOG TOO.
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Sorry, a few photos taken before the ambulance arrived
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TRY WGEN I GET BACK
Struggling with virtually one eye now.
All the bestest!
,
I’ve gett some old odes on.
CHEERS
Due partly to the very short but frequent visits from
No scribble on the memory notepad at all, well, the date and time I got up, that was all on it this morning (Sunday). Also, this Sunday will be known forthwith as the Words-Escaping-the-Brain Sunday!
Now, I know the words, but you would not believe the word I wanted to say or write that were off on the ether. Some, I grasped, reclaimed within seconds. Others I had to look up – Like the names of the tablets that the Carer asked me if I needed. Codeine came to me straight away, then I struggled to get Paracetamol, Peptac, Anusol, and Ramipril. I had the feeling that he thought I was joking with him. It felt so weird.
AS the day went on, although the wonderful
So just a few photos again to help me remember anything. Oh dearie me. Grammarly is working overtime this morning… no, afternoon, already!
The replacement day catheters arrived, with a different calve contraption for me to try. The Carer re[placed the old one, we’ll see how we go.
I think I started on the word lists about eleven.
This Sunday, my memory and concentration are in a bad state; why didn’t I make my usual notes?
Ah, mayhap I’d overdosed on
A little like the voters who elected Starmer into office as Prime Minister! Hehehe!
At the time of writing this, I checked the catheter bag to see if it needed emptying… both feet squelched in the
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Depressed? Me? YES!
I may have to call for an ambulance if the leg does not stop leaking, so if no blog, you’ll know why.
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TTFN