Inchcock Today: Wed 7th January 2015

Up at 0210hrs. Laid thinking about the dreams I’d had.

WC’d, started laptop went and made a cuppa.

Couldn’t recall too much of the dream just bits:

I was having for some reason I can’t remember to run between different shops and was panicking, rushing and feeling under great pressure. Some of the shops I remember as one’s that I’d worked at others were new to me? I had a pack of mezuzah’s with me and was attaching one to each door I entered? That’s all I recall of that dream.

In another, I was on an oil tanker at sea, and was running around (again) trying to sell everyone on board, and there were many more crew members than needed, in fact I think some were falling off the ship into the sea, but seemed happy to do so… to sell them each a packet of cooked chestnuts? I think I and everyone else were speaking in French? Not that I can speak French… but?


Stomach churning, chest congested and I was coughing again. Arthur Itis and angina lingering again. All in all, not feeling too good today. Even worse when I heard the wind banging the letter box flap and the rain belting down!

Then the Coreldraw9 or laptop stopped me from viewing anything before I imported it! Turned everything off and restarted but it wasn’t having it at all.

Depressed about that – but it was letting me watch YouTube again, so I did until it was time to get missen scrubbed-up and down ready for the Iceland delivery between 1100 > 1300 hrs.


Had a cuppa took me medications and read me book while I waited. As the possible delivery time neared I took me reading glasses up as I went to the WC so as not to leave the door in case the delivery came.

Continued reading me book until the Iceland van arrived – took it in and put the stuff way but was a tad confused (Not a rarity I know!), when  found two packs of Chicken legs had been delivered. Don’t recall ordering them, but knowing me?…

Set off but not on a walk as originally planned due to the wind and rain, and caught a bus into Mansfield using me Pensioners Bus-pass of course.

Read some more of me book en-route. I was going to take some photos out of the bus window but they were were too muddied.

0301When I got into Mansfield bus-station I waddled down to the open Market. There was a police van parked on the market, no one it it and not many folk about either.

The rain was still coming and it was getting a little gloomy.

I poddled around and made my way up the hill to the B&M store and popped in, but they nowt I fancied or needed on show. But I saw some really cute 0303kids booties on sale that I took a photo of on display.

I left empty-handed and limped up the road to the Pound Stretcher outlet and had a wander around in there. They had the Warburton bread-thins on sale at £1, and some cans of All Day Breakfast at 89p so I invested in one of each.

0304I took a photograph of the end of a gondola that was displaying clearance-reduced in price clocks.

Top shelve £1.99

Next shelf down £3.99

Next shelf down £6.99

Rather good value I thought.

I retreated and out of the store s the security guard approached me!

0302As I came out it was like deja-vu of the last time I took a photograph from that place and angle – depressing!.

There was even more outlets for sale or to rent than two months ago.

A female warden was taking photos of the cars parked in between the lines. Despite the wind and rain she had a smirky-smile on her face bless her! Nice to see someone enjoying their job innit?

Walked back to the bus station and caught one back to Carrington.

The journey would have been pleasant if I had a TV and watched Coronation Street. A lady with a loud piercing voice shouted at her friend sat next to her and just to my left all the time about Coronation Street! It didn’t bother me really… bless her.

I dropped off the bus and the rain abated.

0305I was going to go directly back to the hovel, but didn’t like the look of three yobs sat on the bench near the cut-though drinking plonk. So I went the long way past St John’s Church.

While taking this photo a burk-on-a-bike belted passed me on the pavement, and skidded at the end of the road near the corner and came off of his bike.

Made my day that did.

Got in the hovel feeling a bit more cheerful thanks to the git on the pavement falling off his bike.

WC – made a cuppa and started the laptop, searched for me reading glasses for ages. Eventually found them in the bathroom where I’d taken them so as not to lose them this morning. Tsk!

Took me medications and finished off this diary.

Did some work on a graphic to use later, and coreldraw was letting me preview now? Not complaining at all mind. not while the wonderful picture of the yob toppling of his bike remains in my mind…

The “Zimmer Frame Squeak’s” Pop Group formed by Inchcock

Nottingham Pensioner inspired by Englebert Humperdink’s comeback!

EH02Arnold George Dorsey was born in Madras one of ten children to British Army NCO Mervyn Dorsey, who was of Irish descent, and his wife Olive, who was of German descent.

His impression of Jerry Lewis prompted friends to begin calling him “Gerry Dorsey”, a name he worked under for almost a decade. A name-change to the more arresting Engelbert Humperdinck, borrowed from the German 19th-century composer of operas such as Hansel and Gretel. Dorsey adopted the name professionally.

On 1 March 2012, the BBC announced that Humperdinck would represent the United Kingdom in the final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2012.

Juan found out about this in 2014 during one of his rare moments of awareness.

Henglebert Eumperdink’s return to sing in the Euro-vision Song Contest for England, has inspired the Nottingham pensioner and former Bottle Cork Tester Juan Inchcock to form a musical group from within his Nottingham City Hospital Rehabilitation Group members.


Manager and lead singer of the group Inchcock (69) commented on the forming of the group to our reporter Lint Onitt:

“The group currently consists of Arthur Itis (71), Cis Titus (60), Anne Gina (67), Con Genital (59), Ed Imma (82), Dee Zees (63), and Harry Thmia (63), but of course any one could pop their clogs at any-time, so we have a few reserves to replace them as and when we do drop off like.”

We waited while Mr Inchcock coughed up some blood-laced black gooey phlegm, limped to the WC to pass water, returned looking pale and shaky, smiled, adjusted his hearing aids and then continued:

“Our first recording is a mix of Bernard Bresslaw’s ‘They were making mad passionate love’, Bernard Cribbin’s ‘Right said Fred’, and Morecome & Wises ‘Boom Oooh Yatatata’, with a backing sounding similar to ‘Your a Pink toothbrush, I’m a blue toothbrush’ from Max Bygraves.”


I was flabbergasted, Juan had caught my attention with that statement.

Mr Inchcock scratched at his impetigo, and picked at the welts on his hands for a while, hobbled to the WC again, and returning muttering to himself about the Outer Mongolian Gungo bean crop being down by 2.6% in 1969, rubbed his arthritic knees then added:

“Although some parts of the recording were originally made in 1959, we think this song will impress the younger generation – when we first played it to the Rehabilitation staff here at the centre, they were speechless!”

He struggled to the WC, continuing when he returned covering his flies area with his welt covered finger bent crooked hands:

“And the sound is original too, not many songs out there that are recorded using a bazooka, comb and paper, and live recordings from the operating theatre!

We call our group ‘The Zimmer Frame Squeak’s’…”

At this point Mr Inchcock coughed, went white, passed wind and collapsed in a flabby heap on the floor, and was collected by the porters, carried to the WC and then taken out through the back doors.

Group member Arthur Itis (71) called out “Right I’ll take over now, we’ll do Bill Hayleys ‘Rock around the clock instead now Juan’s clocked out!”

If he survives, we will try to bring you more on this new old genre in music!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 6th January 2015

Kept waking up throughout the night and each time I think I remembered parts of different dreams, but foolishly did not write any notes to trigger me into remembering them later to record here. Had a feeling I really wanted to, but no.

Got up at 0315hrs. Started laptop and made a cuppa.


Finalised and posted yesterdays Diary. Then started this one up to here… felt so low again for some reason.

The angina was okay, Arthur Itis still bad, the ulcer was okay, but I had specks of blood in both ear-holes?. I cleaned the ear-pieces of them both yesterday, wondered if I did not rinse them fully?

WC then another cuppa and took me medications.

Pottered about on Facebook and did some graphics for the TFZ stite.

Got the things ready to take to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop. Then had a scrub up and got ready to go on me walk into Sherwood. Radio Nottingham said it was gong to be -3c tonight. Tsk!

Raining this morning bit windy but not cold now.

0202Set off on me walk up the first hill and down, where  took a photo of the traffic half way down.

The ran seemed to be lessening somewhat now – but the twit in the Mercedes still turned into the side road without signalling.

I carried on down the hill and up the next to the Hospice  shop and dropped me stuff off.

Came out and stood at the bus-stop, where I had an interesting conversation with an elderly lady took place. (I think – we were both wearing hearing aids):

Me: “The rain seems to be easing off a bit!”

The Lady: “They all say it’s due to the Poll Tax yer know!”

Me: “Yes?”

0203End of conversation.

I wonder what it was she thought I’d said? I was going to ask her but thought that would get us into an even deeper verbal pickle.

Bus to town and walked down to the City Centre to catch the tram to Bulwell. They were taking down the Winter Festival buildings this morning.

0204All I was going to Bulwell for was to take photographs of the market, feed the ducks and see if  could get some of them blackcurrant ice-cream lollies.

Got into reading me book and nearly missed me stop!

Went to the river Leen bridge and there were a few mallards today, so fed the little darlings.

0205The shopping trolley was still in the river. Tsk!

I wandered over to Fultons food shop but had none of me lollies in. They did have some microwave sausages in on special price though, so  got a tray. They’ll be me nosh for tonight.

Called in other shops but no lollies.

0206B&M stores had Heinz Curry flavoured beans at 4 for a quid. The bags were getting heavy now.

They also had some kids winter footwear at £3.99 to £5.99 on sale. They looked alright too, a bargain there for the ankle-biters shplifters… I mean parents.

Into the Pound Shop and got a bag of bird-seed and a can of fabric freshener. Very good when the wind emmissions get naughty you know!

Then into the market for a look around.

0207As I made my way to the bus-station the sky turned rather threatening again straight in front of where I was, but it was clear to the left and right?.

The rain started to get heavier and I sheltered under a bus-stop until the bus arrived.

I started nodding off on the bus, so got me book out and had a read like.

0208Phlegm coming up when I coughed now.

As I walked down the street to the hovel, I noticed a flower box with, maybe they were primroses battling the elements and growing in January.

I got in and WC’d and made a cuppa, started the laptop and made loads of microwave sausage sandwiches and set about demolishing them, followed by a Lemon yoghurt, ice lolly and a mousse and another cup of tea and me medications!

The stomach rumbled, the knees were painful, Arthur Itis was in a bad mood

Did some blogging and Facebooking and tiredness overcame me so I got me head down earlier then normal… Zzzzz…