A man strolled into a Solicitors office and asked about the attorney’s rates. “£3000, for three inquiries”, answered the legal advisor.

“Isn’t that outrageously, terribly expensive,” asked the man.

“Yes,” the legal advisor answered, “and what was your third question?”

**********

Saturday 6th February 2016

I gave up trying to sleep about 0330 hrs and got up with great difficulty with the lower part of the legs in such pain. I was glad none of my other ailments were playing up because I don’t know how I’d cope with it along with these damned cramp-like discomforts.

But, I’m glad to be here still considering, so no grievances, just a little mention of the situation borne out of the frustration of the constant agony! Hehe, did I say that?

Got a call to the porcelain, and it took me so long to get there, I nearly had a Whoopsiedangleplop. Oh dear!

I put the kettle on to make a cuppa and take the medications. Looked around the kitchen and pondered on whether I’d be able to cope with cleaning it up later? The legs don’t play about at hurting when I walk, bend or stretch. I must get it as clean as I can because Sister Janet is making her first call at the flat for her inspection and criticism duties. Hehe! And she is so skilled at this! Her withering cynical look, the perfectly timed Tut combined with her little hardly deceptable tossing back of her head. Then there is the morale sagging curl of her lips when she disapproves of anything. She has honed these skills over the years, and I would rate her as one of the very best Critisisationists in the country, if not the world. She certainly scares me at the thought of her coming after I’ve been in the flat for five months.

No flat in history will have gone through such subtle, yet covertly vindictive an assessment as mine is due to have tomorrow. It certainly scares me at the thought of her coming after I’ve been in the flat for five months.

So, I’ll have to go through the pain barrier to try and make sure nothing is out of place, dusty or untidy before her arrival. Not that there will be any chance on earth that she’ll find nothing wrong with it.

Of course, I’m joking?

I got yesterday’s diary finished and posted.

Now, I must get off this laptop and make the difficult start on doing the kitchen.

0915hrs: TTFN

1245hrs: I’m back!

I managed to get the kitchen done and sorted.

Doing the actual work was a little easier than I thought it might be, but still painful of yer know worra mean like?

The fridge offered a complex problem for cleaning it, though. The shelves wouldn’t come out as the installers had put it too close to the outer wall for the door to open far enough to access getting the shelves out to clean! After a few knocks and curse words, I managed to move it just far enough to do the job.

I’ve mastered the funny looking rag mop now.

It didn’t look too bad when I’d got it all finished.

Now I’ve got to keep it clean, ready for the inspection in tomorrow by Sister Jane.

I won’t do any cooking tonight; I’ll have sandwiches instead. I’ve got some cooked meat and the jam to use on them. Took the medications.

Fatigued now, almost burnt out.

The cramp in the lower leg, or whatever it is, remains bothersome.

I watched some TV without nodding off, so I tried reading a book, that did it.

Zzzz!