Ladies: 122 Reasons why Chocolate is better for you than Sex!

The following advisory information for Women has been supplied by the WBA (Women Bloggers Association), for which thanks and appreciation, are offered.

122 Reasons why Chocolate is better than Sex for Women

The average piece of chocolate is at least, six inches long.
Chocolates stay hard for a week.
Chocolate won’t tell you size doesn’t count.
Chocolates don’t get too excited.
A chocolate never suffers from performance anxiety.
Chocolates are easy to pick up.
You can fondle chocolates in a supermarket – …and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
Chocolates can get away any weekend.
With a chocolate you can get a single room – …and you won’t have to check in as “Mrs. Chocolate”.
A chocolate will always respect you in the morning.
You can go to the movie with a chocolate … and see the movie.
At a drive-in, you can stay in the front seat.
Chocolate can always wait until you get home.
A chocolate won’t eat all the popcorn – … or send you out for Milk Duds.
A chocolate won’t drag you to a John Wayne film festival.
A chocolate won’t ask: “Am I the first!”
Chocolates don’t care if you are a virgin.
Chocolates won’t tell other chocolates you’re a virgin.
Chocolates won’t tell anyone your not a virgin anymore.
With chocolates, you don’t have to be a virgin more than once.
Chocolates won’t write your name and number on the men’s room wall.
Chocolates don’t have sex hangups.
Chocolates won’t make you wear kinky clothes.
Chocolates won’t go to bed with boots on.
Chocolates aren’t into rope or leather.
You can have as many chocolates as you can handle.
You only eat chocolates when you feel like it.
Chocolates never need a round of applause.
Chocolates won’t ask: Am I the best? How was it?
Chocolates aren’t jealous of your Gynecologist, or hairdresser.
A chocolate won’t want to join your support group.
A chocolate never wants to improve your mind.
Chocolates aren’t into meaningful conversations.
Chocolates won’t ask about your last lover – …or speculate about your next one.
A chocolate will never make a scene because there are other chocolates in the refrigerator.
A chocolate won’t mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes.
No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh chocolate.
Chocolates can handle rejection.
A chocolate won’t pout if you have a headache.
A chocolate won’t care what time of the month it is.
A chocolate never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
A chocolate won’t give it up for lent.
With a chocolate, you never have to say you’re sorry.
Chocolates don’t leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow.
A chocolate won’t give you a hickey.
Chocolates can stay up all night – …and you won’t have to sleep in the wet spot.
Afterwards, A chocolate won’t: want to shake hands and be friends, say, “I’ll call you a cab” or tell you he’s not the marrying kind, call his mother, ex-wife, or therapist!
Chocolates don’t leave you wondering for a month.
Chocolates won’t make you go to the chemist’s.
Chocolates won’t tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
A chocolate a day keeps the OB-GYN away.
A chocolate won’t fill in your crossword incorrectly in ink.
A chocolate isn’t allergic to your cat.
With chocolates, you don’t have to play Florence Nightingale during the flu season.
Chocolates never answer your phone or borrow your car.
A chocolate won’t eat all your food or drink all your alcohol.
A chocolate doesn’t turn your bathroom into a library.
Chocolates won’t go through your medicine chest.
A chocolate doesn’t use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hairspray.
Chocolates won’t leave hair on the sink or a ring in the bathtub.
Chocolates don’t leave dirty shorts on the floor.
A chocolate never forgets to flush the toilet.
A chocolate doesn’t flush the toilet while you are taking a shower.
With a chocolate, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
Chocolate won’t compare you to a centerfold.
Chocolates don’t tell you they liked you better with long hair.
A chocolate will never leave you, for another woman, for another man, or for another chocolate!
A chocolate will never call and say, “I have to work late, honey.” …and then come home smelling like another woman.
A chocolate never snaps your bra, or pinches your butt!
You always know where your chocolate has been.
A chocolate never has to call “the wife.”
Chocolates never have mid-life crises.
A chocolate won’t leave you for a cheerleader or an ex- nun.
Chocolates don’t play the guitar and try to find themselves.
84: You won’t find out later that your chocolate, is married, is on penicillin, or likes you, but loves your brother!
A chocolate doesn’t have football practice on the day you move.
Chocolates never tell you what they did on R&R.
A chocolate won’t ask for a promotion just when you’re up for a promotion.
Chocolates don’t care if you make more money than they do.
A chocolate won’t wear a leisure suit to your office Christmas party.
You don’t have to wait until halftime to talk to your chocolate.
A chocolate won’t leave town on new year’s eve.
A chocolate won’t take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy outfit.
Chocolates never want to take you home to Mum.
A chocolate doesn’t care if you always spend the holidays with your family.
A chocolate won’t ask to be put through Med school.
A chocolate won’t tell you he’s outgrown you intellectually.
Chocolates never expect you to have little chocolates.
Chocolates don’t say “Let’s keep trying until we have a boy.”
A chocolate won’t insist the little chocolates be raised Catholic, Jewish, or orthodox vegetarian.
A chocolate will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything!
It’s easy to drop a chocolate.
You can Get chocolate.
“If you love me, you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate.
Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won’t mind.
Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
The word “commitment” doesn’t scare off chocolate.
You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
With chocolate, there’s no need to fake it.
Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant.
You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
Good chocolate is easy to find.
You can never be too young or too old for chocolate.
When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbours awake.
With chocolate size doesn’t matter; It’s always good!
Chocolate does not have bad breath!
Chocolate does not fart in bed!
Chocolate doesn’t lie or lay-about!

Inchcock Today Sun 21 Feb 16: Lost BP Monitor Found! Health Alarm Activated! Exciting stuff eh?

If a lawyer and a politician were both drowning, and you could only save one of them:

Would you go to lunch, play Tetris or read the newspaper?


01W01aSunday 21st February 2016

Woke up at around 0200hrs, and savoured the wonderful memories of the dream I’d been having, of course, as usual, only bits of it remain now that I come to record them here.

One again I was in a bombed out building, top floor, troops fighting all around the area, mortar fire, artillery fire and snipers all having a pop at me, as I sat there on a typewriter? Despite the exploding shells and collapsing building around me, all I seemed worried about was how to spell a word. I was not hurt at all, although bleeding from the end of my left-hand thumb? Odd?

Fell back to sleep, must have needed it for me to do this?

I stirred again around 0400hrs, and as I moved, I was very pleased with the lack of objections from the flabby bodies joints, Anne Gyna and the right leg too. Considering all the cleaning yesterday, this encouraged me not to temerate over my decision to get the living room cleaned up today. The many and large windows may not get cleaned outside though this depends on the weather.

To the porcelain without any hiatus, I found this oddly disturbing?

I noticed the BP machine that I found yesterday, and did the tests:

DYS 154 – DIA 70 – Pulse 89 and Temp 32.4. I’ve lost the notes about what the readings should be, but I feel extraordinarily energetic this morning! Says him with fingers crossed, Hehe!

To the kitchen to make a cuppa and take the morning medications. The wall thermometer indicated it was 57°f, and the wind was coming in through every crevice and crack through the windows, vents and the cupboards and drawers. I’ll be glad when they get this fixed and sorted. I need some vadiation from the Nottingham City Homes that they will be sorting it out when the modernisation of the flats takes place. But when will that be?

I opened the laptop and finished Saturday’s diary. Then started this one.

Sneezing a lot this morning I am.


Wheeler Gate Comparison

Checked the emails, and then went on Facebook. I noticed some good stuff on the Nottingham Now and then site. So decided I’d go to Nottingham and take some photographs of Exchange Walk, from the same angle as a 1950 one I have, then doctor them next to each other, think of something funny to write about them, and eventually post them onto the site.

I had a wash and did my ablutions, and set off on the walk up and through Woodthorpe Park to the bus stop on Mansfield Road. (They’re no buses to the flat on a Sunday).

Got to the top of the steep footpath and noticed some kids getting themselves ready to start a football match – in the wind! Thought they were so brave I decided to take the photo of them… then decided to go back to the flat to pick up the camera I’d forgotten to take with me – Tsk!

P1050033So back and picked it up and returned to the pitch in the park.

The referee had got then walking along the opposition team shaking hands like the professional footballers do! I was impressed.

Stayed a few minutes to watch them, again I was impressed with how they didn’t even try to do any long passes in the horrible wind.

P1050039I moved to the bus stop and only had 15 minutes to wait for a bus. When it arrived it was so full, crammed passengers all over the place. I was surprised the driver let us all on.

Once in town, I went to check the number 40 bus times for me get back near the flats. I had 20 minutes to get to take the photographs, not far to go, though. Went and took them, and made my way back to the bus stop, calling in the book shop (Will I ever learn!) as I did. Purchased a book by Sepp Allerberger, Knights Cross, a sniper on theEastern Front. £9.99 down to £5.00.

P1050038Back to the bus stop, just in time too!

The rain joined the high winds in making life unpleasant.

But it was nothing compared to the winds back at the flats.

After risking life and limb crossing over the road on Winchester Street and walking down and turning towards the flats, my rate of knots was reduced by about 80% by the vicious winds.

When I got into the flat, I made for the bathroom and the porcelain first, and the howling winds coming through every gap in the windows, holes in the walls and through the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen, made their way to the bathroom, and the toilet paper was blowing in the wind! Cor blimey Governer!

I searched for the TV paper I’d bought yesterday, for a while without any success. Realised I must have thrown down the rubbish chute with the other stuff earlier today. Humph!

P1050040Got the beef chunks on the boil, then added some veg to it later. I reckon I cut the beef up into small chunks, perhaps smaller than I should have – as they seemed to have disappeared when I stirred in the mix? Added some gravy and baked beans to fill it out.

It didn’t look very attractive at all, but by gum it was nice tasting! Rated this an 8.9/10.

Went on the web to see what was on the TV, and found four films all one after the other, that I could watch! Astonished at this, I decided not to do any cleaning today, rather treat myself to a good sit-in and TV session! Guilt did reign a bit, but I managed to overcome it. Hehe!

Not that it panned out like that, I managed the first film, only nodding off a few times, then watched the second one. At the first commercial break, I drifted off into the dreaming land of nod.

Woke a few hours later, but kept tossing and turning for some reason and waking myself up again every few minutes it seemed like. .

DSCN0014Around  0300hrs a loud voice bellowed out from somewhere that at first I thought was in my dream, then I recognised that it was in the room, and I hearing it without my hearings aid in? As I focussed it became clear that this was the ‘Alarm Centre Auto message, telling me I had activated my Health Alarm wristlet. A bit of screeching from the line, red light flashing, and then a voice came over the box. 

A bit of screeching from the line, red light flashing, and then a voice came over the box. I couldn’t understand a word he or she was saying, nor recognise the accent. Luckily I have done this accidental activating of the alarm twice before, so I just said: “Sorry, caught it in error!” The operator spoke a two syllable word, whatever that was, and rang off.

Had to get up now, so much for my planned lay-in like? Hehe!

I wish I could remember the dream I was having, but cannot, just a feeling that I was enjoying it, lingered.

Ah well, I’ll make a cuppa then.