“It’s amazing how a stubbed toe can turn everything around!”

I awoke, feeling blood coming from my proboscis,

The tummy rumbling and grumbling with cryptosporidiosis,

Anne Gyna pangs, Duodenal Donald stabbing away,

Hernia Harry giving grief, a new boil on my bum, oh, alack a day,

The blood so thin, I anticipate another growth of Sepsis,

Standing up was hampered by Arthur Itis.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The Trotskies sent me to the Porcelain Throne,

A messy session had to clean up the bile,

Don’t want to snuff it here, all alone,

Felt depressed after struggling for a while,

To clean the room up, painfully I did groan,

So many tablets to take, made me revile,

My mind confused, on and on it did drone.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Was I going bonkers, losing my grip?

Would I ever get my new hip?

Things annoyed me, the tap did drip,

Hit my head on cupboard door, just another blip,

Putting the trousers on, and I broke the zip,

Then I laughed, seeing the funny side, and took a trip,

Stubbed my toe, painful, but no hardship.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

For this made me forget the ailments that were present,

As I laughed aloud, and to massage it, I bent,

But Hilda Hips, didn’t give her assent,

So down to the floor I tumbled and went,

Getting back up, a lot of energy was spent,

Th result was very munificent.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

All the ailments, apart from the stubbed toe,

Departed, left me for a while, off they did go,

Want to be free of several pains, now you know,

Want to be free, of all ailments, and impetigo?

Cheer yourself up, your heart again to glow?

You just have to stub your poor big toe!


Written in support of ‘The Old Fogeys with too Many Pains’ Association

Inspired by a comment from:

Orbbs Fashion

4 thoughts on ““It’s amazing how a stubbed toe can turn everything around!”

  1. Excellent Ode to a stubbed toe. Getting on with the black and blues is usually a good way of turning those down trodden feelings upward.

  2. Cheers, Sir.
    So very true, actually. It really did work.
    By the way, I spotted a grey cat while in the park yesterday. A spitten image of Silver! I wondered how Silver had got over here? Hehehe!

  3. When cats go missing, one wonders where they’ve been for all those days, months, years. Accidentally boarding a plane from the USA to UK isn’t beyond the possibilities of a cat! LOL! “Hi ho, Silver!”

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