Inchcock’s Porcelain Throne Marathon – Nothing witheld (Hahaha!)

Tuesday 19th October 2021

My Porcelain Throne Marathon


Agony would best describe this session!

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Sat sitting, utilising the WordPress Blogosphere,

Facebook played up, it went a bit queer,
Problems were slowly driving me crazier,
Then things started to get somewhat peskier,
I got distracted, and this much was clear,
The innards churned and rumbled, Oh, dear!
To the Porcelain Throne, in a rush and full of fear!

Rock-solid Torpedo, stuck halfway; what a plight!
I struggled to free it, pain to expedite,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids I did excite!
They stung and bled, more than a mite,
The crossword, 6-letter word, trite?
The evacuating product was just too tight!
After a long painful, harrowing fight…
Suddenly, it came out alright!

Cleaned, and medicated with agility,
And a certain joyous alacrity,
But this was not the end of the activity…
Life often shows endless alterability…
A case for me, of banal carnosity!

Oh, what, an annoying bother and pain!
The evacuation had started again,
Soft as mush this time, almost liquid?
I’d no control over what it did,
Had to clean up the splatted semi-fluid,
Sessions like this are inhumane!
It was particularly stinky and horrid,
Sensations from burning pain to torrid…
The first one, reluctant, gigantic, immane!
The follow up virtually liquid, it’s insane!

A daily task, that brought me exhaustibility,
Can I claim uniqueness or exclusivity?
Or being a  fool, for Odeing with such clarity?
I think the fool bit is right, actually!

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Oded in Support of Nottingham Branch of the Bulgarian Pregnant Koala Appreciation Society

Donations Accepted. Billum somewhere near Utah.

5 thoughts on “Inchcock’s Porcelain Throne Marathon – Nothing witheld (Hahaha!)

    • Merci Mon Ami, Sir.
      I found a way through a Plugin, that I could add fonts with a drop down list to WP – Got all excited, took me over an hour to find it… Half way down telling you how to install it,,, it mentioned that you have to upgrade to Business Plan first. Gits!

      • That’s the gotcha. The business plan is like $300/per year. There is also a plugin for the old classic editor. If you really want the classic editor they make you pay. I may have to upgrade at some point to get more storage space. But they are so stingy on storage. I think you only get 3TB or something like that with the business plan. I pay $50/ year to Zenfolio for unlimited storage.

      • $300, huh, thats that idea shot then.
        I got a hike in the carers costs coming next week, Tim. The Social Services (who arranged for the crap declutters to come) are calling me on the phone to interview ans assess. That’ll be good with my lack of hearing. I was going to ask Meridean if they could send someone at the time the call is due, to assist – but that my be cost prohibitive as Carol was telling me… Oh, dear!

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