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Inchies True Tales of Woe
For Friday 13th March 2026
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More than a few to tell of in truth,
It was more horseshit than honeydew,
Computer problems, more than a few,
So many, I didn’t know what to do,
Lost all the work that I’d struggled to do,
I genuinely thought a stroke was due…
Panic alarm – sent a paramedic crew,
To the hospital? I didn’t want, no no, no…
I had to prevent this somehow,
Said I was feeling better, very slow,
Tried to show I had some go, gungho…
Readings taken, concern, a verbal shiatsu,
A long Q&A session & then powwow,
Medical history, they did review.
No hospital – my wish they did imbue,
I apologised for causing their perdue, 
I ended up in the hospital again, and I didn’t want to,
They’d send me to a home, I foreknew!
So they let me stay in my flat, chateau,
Filled their online NHS surview,
Left a paper on what I should do,
The next day, I penned this little clerihew.
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0645hrs: Sensed out the ailments to be wary of as I lay in bed. I didn’t feel as hazy as I normally am, brainwise. But I knew my history of feeling smug always turns to a disaster of some kind, so I avoided going into a Smug-Mode. It didn’t help; the day turned out to be my worst one of the week! Grangnangles & Globspit!

I got the nocturnal Catheter pouch removed from the day bag. Went through the balance-checking routine, decided it was safe enough to cautiously hobble to the kitchenette to check on the taps, doors, and electrics, just in case I’d done it again and left doors open, the cooker on, or a tap running. All seemed clear. So, I took a snap of the view and got the kettle on. The snap I took later escaped into the ether from the camera’s SD card. I went onto the balcony to take a shot of the flats’ end car park. I got the idea that we may have had a drop of rain overnight. I might be wrong. Hehe! Well, what a change. I missed the agony that Constipation Konrad would have given me, but of course, it was a pleasure to miss it. But I’m glad I got extra toilet rolls in, because of Trotsky Terence’s evacuations.

I made a strong brew of Glengettie tea as Carer Ejaz arrived. Medications. Socks taken off, foamed and creamed the toes and ankle. Fresh socks back on. Phorpain gelled the back and the right Shoulder.
Made a list of calls needing to be made on Monday. Doctors, ask for a stronger pain gel and Catheter supplies. The lady from the falls team will confirm the date. If I remember, I’ll ask him to do that one tomorrow.

Then it started! The computer froze up, leaving me with no option but to unplug it and see what happens when I reboot.
A most disconcerting action to have to take. 
I’d had to leave it there to empty my overfull Catheter bag. Then empty, wash & refresh the jug. 
When I returned, it was back online, but not letting me type anything in Google, Excel, Word, or CorelDraw actions that required text input.
Meaning I could not access any help tips online.
So, boldly, I was able to close it down with the mousse. I decided to wait half an hour or so before rebooting the computer.
During which the food delivery arrived. Coffee for Nurses and Jenny & Frank.
Cordial to flavour the spring water. Soft Milk- Roll sliced bread, cheese spread, Spring water, and soda water. And a variety of lemon desserts. I also got some seaweed.
I got it stored away and went back to the computer. I can’t deny it, with a little dread. Restarted it, and was able to type again. So, I knew the cause could not have been via the keyboard, but I had no idea if I’d caught a wrong combination of keys, as shaking often comes on when I’m typing. Or serving up a meal, or handling anything and dropping it, or cannot let go of it, shaving, cleaning my few remaining teeth, or at any time.
When it worked again, I refused to feel a Smug-Mode. The first thing I did was research my problem on Google. Then copy the pages and save them for if (when) it happens again.
It was as if I knew what would happen around a couple of hours later, after I’d restarted and after much work had been done.
As clear as mud to me.

As expected, I did the same thing, so I consulted the saved advice as above. Another age lost trying to work out what I could gain from the advice given. Not a lot. No choice but to turn it all off and try again. So, I did.
And it worked again… but after a few minutes…
Now I was baffled again as to what to do.
And getting very annoyed and depressed, the self-loathing over my incompetence flowed.
Years ago, I wouldn’t have blinked an eye and sorted it – well, that’s what I thought, which made my mood deteriorate further, and my temper boil.
I think this overwroughtness caused what then happened later. 
I turned everything off and back on, and it seemed to be working again. But I wasn’t…
I had what nowadays seemed a natural seizure, but I don’t think it was. As I came out-of-it, the acidity upflux was not there – replaced by a super lack of balance and dizzier than I have ever been.
Well, apart from when I had the stroke. Which made me think, in all honesty, that I was having another stroke. That is why I pressed the Alert Button.
I was finding it very hard to mouth words. I could make noises, but words were at random. Difficult for the lady in the control room. Who stayed with me on the line until the paramedics arrived. Thank You!
I have no memory of the first few minutes. As I came out of whatever had gripped me, I saw two paramedics and had a heart thingy on my arm. 
Q&A’s, checks and I was talking, but stutteringly and repeatedly, I think. My cogniscence improved so quickly that I kept apologising for pressing the alarm, and wasting their time… I think. I was certainly thinking I ought to.

I have little remembrance of Carer Ejaz’s visit at all.
I think someone called on the phone, but I don’t know who, if anyone did, or what it was about. Yet I’m sure I was feeling a lot better, and getting my soup meal made when Ejaz came. I think.
It was not such a good effort. But it was tasty enough; the problem was that I put in the vegetarian bacon bits as Ejaz arrived. So by the time I got the meal in the oven, ten minutes was enough to make the ‘bacon bits’ go all soggy. I ate it, though.

As recommended by Ejaz, I deserted the computer and got my head down early. Taking this snap of the night as I washed the pots. The bed seemed so welcoming and comfortable tonight. Zzz!
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HAVE A GREAT DAY
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